AN: So...I've been really behind on updating chapter stories lately, and I've been really into oneshots. Mistakes has been discontinued, but Whispers In The Dark has one more chapter, and Hanging By A Moment has a few left. But, here is another oneshot.


I don't patronize, I realize, I'm losing and this is my real life.
I am half asleep, and I am wide awake, this habit is always so hard to break.

The first sign that something was going on came when James heard Nathan Young in the Gryffindor common room bragging to Michael Wood, a bright grin on his face as he recounted his date with Maria Griffin the night before.

"It was brilliant, mate. I didn't think she would actually say yes when I asked her out a few days ago, but we went to Hogsmeade and we talked about everything. Turns out we like a lot of the same things, same music and everything" Nathan said, the smile on his face nearly blinding as Michael pushed him lightly, a grin on his own face.

"Did you snog her?" another boy asked, and James felt himself tense up.

He was trying her best to not act like a jealous boyfriend like he desperately wanted to, because he knew he didn't have that right.

Nathan smirked.

"I don't kiss and tell, mate" he said, and all the boys around him cheered, and James shook his head, standing up and storming out of the common room, hoping to get away from what he hoped was just a horrible nightmare.


I thought you wanted me, cause I want you all to myself.
I can try to suck it up, I just can't suck it up.

Maria's eyes were focused on James, while James' were focused on the book in front of him.

Something was clearly wrong, and despite the fact that James had kept their plans to study together in the library, Maria could tell that she had done something to upset him, she just hadn't quite figured out what she had done yet.

"James?" she finally asked, her voice quiet.

James' eyes snapped up, and he pushed the hair out of his eyes, raising an eyebrow.

"Do you not understand something? Do you need help?" James asked, leaning over and glancing at the page Maria was supposed to be looking at.

James sighed.

"Maria, this is the same page you were reading fifteen minutes ago. We're here to study, not to daydream" he said, before sitting back in her chair, shaking his head in an almost disappointed manner.

"You don't care about studying, and you know that. What did I do that has you so upset, anyway? Because honestly, I can't quite figure out what it is that has you acting like you are" Maria said, closing the book and tossing it onto the table.

James remained completely silent.

"Oh, so you're choosing to act like a stubborn git now, are you? Have you been spending too much time with your idiot friends lately, or is that just the way you've always been and it hasn't shown until now? Are you going to tell me or are you going to pout like a child?" Maria asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You went on that bloody date with Nathan Young, is what you did. How could you just go off and go on a date with some bloke like that? What happened to all those things you've been saying for ages about wanting me? Then you go off and date Nathan?" James suddenly growled, slamming his own book down on the table.

Maria scoffed.

"Honestly, James Sirius Potter, you amaze me. You are a complete and total arse, do you know that? When we started whatever it is we have going on, I asked you what it was, and you said you didn't want a relationship. All you wanted was a quick shag, because that's all you ever think about since you hit sixteen. I said alright, I'd be willing to do that for you, James, but you don't have a right to act like a jealous git when I start dating someone else. You gave up that right" she said, before standing and throwing one last look back at James and leaving.

James watched her go, before groaning loudly and slamming his head down on the table.

Bloody hell.


I'm under the gun, you're like the only one, I just can't decide what I'm running from.

It was sometime in the early morning, and James was the first one to wake up and head to breakfast. He sat alone at the Gryffindor table, knowing that breakfast wouldn't start for a bit, and put his head down, slowly drifting back to sleep.

Maria and James stumbled into Maria's bedroom, laughing loudly and holding onto each other to keep from falling over, bright smiles on each of their faces.

James leaned forward and connected their lips for what seemed like the millionth time that night, and Maria kissed back for just a moment, before pushing him away lightly, an unsure look on her face.

"What exactly are we doing, James?" she asked.

"Do we honestly have to label this? I'm sick of relationships and all of the drama that seems to come with them. I just want someone I can have fun with. Someone to snog and shag every once and a while. You know what I mean?" James asked.

If Maria appeared at all upset by the idea, James didn't notice.

All he noticed was the nod of her head as he kissed her again and they both fell backwards onto the bed.

"James! Wake up, you git! What are you doing?" Lily asked, shaking her brother's shoulder lightly and raising an eyebrow as his head sprung up, his eyes wide and his hair a mess as he looked around.

The rest of his cousins burst into laughter and quickly focused on their breakfast, but James stood, leaving the Great Hall.

"James turned down food..." Roxanne started.

"Must be something serious" Fred finished, shaking his head.

Lily turned towards them.

"You two aren't even in this house! And it's weird when you do that!"


This isn't what I wanted, but I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut,
It's not enough, it's never enough,
I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck,
Can't focus it, but I try it, over and over again

"Maria! Maria! Oh, Griffin, I know you can hear me, so don't make me chase you around this entire bloody Qudditch pitch, because I will jump on a broom and knock you down!" James yelled, watching as Maria looked down at him, a scowl on her face.

Quickly she landed in front of him, throwing her broom to the ground and shoving him roughly once she reached him.

"What do you want? Isn't it bad enough you're trying to make me feel guilty for dating someone when I have every right to, but now you want to interrupt my Qudditch practice as well? This is the only time I get to myself to be out here and to fly, and you feel the need to ruin it, Potter!" she yelled, shoving him again.

"Potter? You haven't called me by my last name since first year" James cried, clutching his chest.

For someone so small, Maria was incredibly strong.

"That's because you haven't been so stupid since first year!" Maria screamed, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

They both remained silent for a few moments, before Maria broke the silence.

"Are you going to tell me what you wanted, or can I go back to my practice?" Maria asked.

"Why are you even practicing? You're not on the team" James commented, before realizing how stupid it had been of him to open his mouth.

Maria let out a scream of frustration and kicking him roughly in the shin, before picking up her broom and storming off towards the castle, muttering things under her breath.

James fell to the ground, clutching his leg and staring at the sky.

"Nice going, Potter"


I thought you wanted me, cause I can't stay with someone else

"You want to know what the sad part of this entire thing is?" Maria asked, as she pulled James aside one afternoon after snatching him as he exited his Defense Against The Dark Arts class.

James blinked at her.

"You don't even understand why I'm so upset, do you?" Maria asked.

The had wandered out onto the grounds at this point, mainly because Maria was walking while she was ranting, and James was desperate to know what he had done.

"I never wanted this entire shagging with no strings thing we have, James" Maria muttered, looking down at the grass.

"Why didn't you say something? We didn't have to-" James started, but was cut off.

"Don't you get it? It was the only way I thought I could have you at all, James! You don't see what's been in front of your face for the last two years! I'm in love with you, you ignorant git! I've been trying so hard to just accept that all you want is someone to shag in your spare time, but I just can't accept that anymore! I'm hurting myself the more I try!" Maria yelled, tears streaming down her face at this point.

James gaped at her.

"You're in love with me? But you and Nathan-" he started, but Maria was yelling again.

"Nathan? I've only been seeing Nathan because I finally gave up on you! You refused to pay any attention to what was going on right in front of you, so I tried to move on, but it didn't work. Now I have to break up with Nathan, because I can't be with him" Maria said.

James opened his mouth to speak, but Maria waved her hand, dismissing him.

"He's not you, James. No one will ever be you" she muttered, before walking away.


I'll try and suck it up, I just can't fuck it up,
I want you all to myself

"Are you ready to fix your mistake, Jay?" Lily asked, grinning at her older brother as he stormed past the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. He ignored her and scanned the Ravenclaw table, but saw no sign of Maria.

Groaning, he turned to face Lily, silently asking where she was.

"Out by the lake" Lily answered, nodding.

James kissed the top of Lily's head and raced off, a bright smile on his face as he ran out the front doors of the castle and over to the lake, stopping short at the sight of Maria leaning against one of the trees, her head resting on her legs.

He ran to her, and despite his best intentions of acting smooth, his clumsy nature got the better of him, and he slid in the mud and fell to the ground on his back.

Directly in front of Maria.

"Fantastic job, Potter" he muttered to himself, before sitting up and smiling his best charming smile at Maria.

"What could you possibly want?" Maria asked, not lifting her head up.

"Listen, would you please look at me when I say all this?" James asked, and Maria looked up, letting out a loud sigh.

James smiled and nodded.

"Alright, listen. I know I've been a total arse by telling you all about how I didn't want a real relationship because of all the drama, but I had no idea you felt the way you do about me. If I had, I never would've asked you to do what I did" James said, before Maria cut him off.

"I understand, James. You wanted to be friends again, fine, just leave me alone" she grumbled.

"Maria Lynn Griffin, you better keep that mouth of yours shut and give me a chance to speak this time, alright?" James asked, pointing a finger at her.

Maria seemed slightly shocked, but nodded her head.

"I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of days, and the one girl I can think of who I would deal with every bit of drama that comes with dating for is you. I would jump into the Black Lake and fight the Giant Squid if you asked me to, and before now I've never been able to figure out why I do such foolish things at your demand. Then I heard Nathan Young bragging to all his friends about your date, and I wanted to stand up and punch him, I swear I did. No matter how much I told myself it wasn't my place. You make me do things I would never do for anyone else. I want a relationship with you Maria. A real one. I may fuck things up sometimes, but I'll try my hardest not to. Will you give me a chance?" James asked, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

He cracked them open a moment later to see Maria smiling shyly at him.

"Don't look shy, we both know that you're not" James joked, grinning as Maria leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.

"So this means I finally have you all to myself, right?" James asked, excited at the prospect of Maria being his and only his.

"Only if I get you all to myself" Maria replied, grinning at him.

"I believe we have ourselves a deal"