This chapter was written by Lioness's Heart. We own nothing.


From the Journal of Rosto the Piper,
King of the Rogue
Resident of the Lower City , Corus, Tortall

December 15, 247

Before Court

I don't know how much longer I can do this. I can't even sleep properly anymore. Beka hasn't noticed that yet, as far as I can tell, thank Mithros. I've had nightmares off and on for almost three weeks, and every night for the last five days. Last night's was the worst yet.

I was sitting on my throne at the Dove, like I usually would at Court, but it was different. It was far darker. There was a man in front of me, kneeling with a rusher on either side. Beka was watching me from a few feet away. I don't know who the cove was, or what he was kneelin' in front of me for, but I knew he was in trouble with the Rogue, and by the look of things, in trouble with the King's Law as well. Beka wanted him to stand trial as much as I wanted him dead.

"Don't kill him, Rosto. Remember, King's justice first, then Rogue's justice," she said. I could feel the Rogue straining at his chain, he was breaking my hold. It's hard to put it, but imagine the Rogue is a vicious animal, one that will kill and destroy everything in sight with cold logic and a terrifying fury. Well, that was what was on a chain in my mind. That single chain holds back my monster, the man I become when my heart goes cold. Everything was enveloped by black for a second, then it was all Rogue and no Rosto.

"You will not stay my hand!" I said. I was hearing it as if I was outside my body. I stood from the throne, a dagger instantly in my hand. I moved toward her, forgetting the cove on the floor for a moment. She lunged and missed when I dove out of the way. We fought for several moments, until I had her up against a wall with a dagger pressed against her throat. To my Rogue mind, there was a delicious sweetness, the kind you feel when you know your enemy is cornered and going to die. Guardswoman Cooper's neck was perfect: an expanse of warm, soft, white skin, vulnerable to the very sharp knife in my hand. But Cooper's eyes softened, and the blue was no longer ice-frigid, but the blue eyes I looked for when I wake. Those blue eyes were a sucker punch to the gut of the Rogue, and suddenly the beast was back in its chains.

In an instant, the Rogue was gone and I was Rosto again. I dropped the dagger. As soon as I did, one of hers was in her hand. 'NO!' part of me screamed! She tricked me. She used those Beka eyes to trick me! Beka's a good actress, no doubt her love has been a farce and I was being manipulated. The Rogue tried to break free, hating that he had been chained in so tricky a way. The chains broke, but not fast enough. She reached up with the dagger and slashed it toward my throat.

I sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily with a light sweat covering my body. I checked myself quickly, taking stock: no cuts, no bruises, not even a love bite from Beka. I checked the dagger that I had lodged between my mattress and the bed frame (Beka didn't like it under the pillow, said it made the pillow lumpy – I never noticed). I took several deep breaths then glanced at Beka's sleeping form next to me. She didn't stir.

I silently slipped from the bed, trying to calm my breathing. It was then that I really got to thinking. Maybe I was, and still am, being paranoid, but I can't help but wonder if I've made a mistake in getting close to Beka. What if she gets tired of me, or she's just biding her time? I owe her my life and sometimes I can't help but wonder if she'll take it.

I also wonder how much longer I can keep up the illusion. As far as I know, she doesn't know that I've been having trouble sleeping. But it's just that. An illusion. I'm tired, even if it doesn't show. Without a descent night's sleep in three weeks, I'm a prime target to get killed in a challenge right now.

I sat down at the desk a few feet away and rested my head in my hands. For a few minutes, I managed to clear my mind enough to calm myself. I heard a slight rustle behind me and flinched, glancing toward the bed. Beka was watching me, those blue eyes of hers worried.

"Rosto, are you alright?" She sounded just as worried as her eyes told me she was. I nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine. It was nothing. Go back to sleep," I told her. She propped herself up on her elbow and gave me a knowing look, with a single eyebrow quirked and all. Pox. She knows me far too well.

"You was sleeping like the dead a few minutes ago, and 'nothing' just woke you up. I know you better than that, Master the Piper. And you should know better than to lie to me, Rosto." She continued to give me that look as she spoke. It was very unnerving, to tell the truth. When Beka's mad, those eyes of hers have an ancient look to them, like they really are ghost eyes. Now, when Guardswoman Cooper is mad, they're pools of ice, but not my Beka's. Actually, I think Beka's eyes are scarier when she's mad than Guardswoman Cooper's.

"It's nothing for you to worry about," I told her. She frowned at me and slipped out of the covers and walked over to me. She placed a warm hand on my cheek, which just made me shiver as my body realized how cold the room was. I saw goosebumps run over her skin when her feet touched the floor. During the winter, these rooms can get cold, and there isn't much that can be done about it, as rugs don't help a bit. It's not awful for me, I grew up in colder, but for Beka, this was just a hair too cold. I closed my eyes for the briefest moment, trying to pull my thoughts together. When I opened my eyes again, Beka moved her hand slightly, bringing my gaze up to meet hers.

"If you don't want to be honest with me, I will sleep in my own bed tonight," she stated. Now, why would she go and leave? Why is it the thought of sleeping alone always makes a man go against his good common sense? I've slept alone before. And so has she. But it's cold and she'd have to walk up the cold steps, and then sleep in a bed with only that constellation cat. And magical though he may be, he's about as big as a pillow and ain't going to keep her warm. Not like I could anyway, I thought. Beka knows how to get what she wants, particularly from me. She wanted me to tell her what was wrong, and she was going to threaten me with being alone for the rest of the night. I have no doubt that she would make it longer if I refused to tell her.

"It was a nightmare. Just a nightmare," I averted my eyes again, almost feeling ashamed to admit that I had had a nightmare. Beka made me look at her again, but her face had softened just a little bit.

"What kind of nightmare, Rosto?" Her voice was low and tender. She knew I was upset, and probably didn't want to add to it. Not too much, at least.

"A dying nightmare."

"Oh." She frowned a little, then withdrew her hand. She moved back to the bed, turning just before she got there. "Who died in it, by the way?" I hesitated, wondering whether or not to tell her. If I told her, maybe she would make sense out of it – people with the Gift were good at that, right? Kora could certainly make sense of cards and general dreams. Maybe it was intuitive and came with the terrain? The Gifted are often god-touched. But Beka was also the reason for the nightmares, even if she didn't mean to be. I'm not entirely sure I can trust her. I want to, but there's a part of me – the Rogue, I think – that says that it's a bad idea, that I'm just putting myself into more danger. Beka brought my attention back to her after a moment.

"Rosto, who died in it?" I glanced up at her and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to get out of this without telling her; she would get me to tell her one way or another.

"I did." Beka blinked at me for a moment, then nodded. She sat down on the bed and looked at me. It took her a few minutes to speak again, but I could tell that she was thinking. I think she was weighing the ideas, but I'm still not sure. The fact that I died in my dream seemed to intrigue her for a minute. But Beka's smart. As far as other Rogues go, I'm not scared of anyone enough to have nightmares about them. The one person who could stop the King of Rats is the Queen of Rat Catchers. The Dog, the Terrier, the Bloodhound: Guardswoman Rebakah Cooper. She knew it. I knew it. The Rogue knew it. Guardswoman Cooper knew it. She knew that the person to kill me in my dream was her, acos she was the only person alive who could.

"You know I would never take advantage of my position, Rosto, and neither would anyone else in the inn. I've heard of this happening to other people – they have dreams like that, and it's like a part of them says that sommat's putting them in danger in a part of their life. It don't always have to do with whatever the dream is about, aside from the main event, though." When I didn't say anything, Beka frowned at me. "Rosto?"

Some part of their life was putting them in danger. Well, there was a very subtle way of saying the Rogue was dangerous to my life, since it was Rosto that died in my dream, and not the Rogue. But it could just as easily be Beka and Guardswoman Cooper, or maybe just that whole lifestyle. To keep her from fretting about me too much I spoke up.

"What? Sorry. I was just thinking." I sighed and got up from the chair. I offered Beka a slight smile as I climbed back into the bed. She gave me a slightly exasperated look, but slipped under the covers again. She snuggled up to me and I slipped my arms around her. She was asleep again in a few minutes, but it took me a long time to get back to sleep.

Even with the questioning I got this morning, I don't think she has figured out that I've had so much trouble sleeping. I don't even know what she would think of me if she found out. I'm almost afraid to say anything about, but I know that she'll either find out on her own or I'll have to tell her eventually. I know I didn't get very much sleep after that nightmare, and I'm still a little tired.

I fell asleep at breakfast, too. That was rather interesting, and rather embarrassing, for both me and Beka. I had my head propped up by my hand, and was picking at the Yamani roll I'd chosen to eat for breakfast. I knew my eyes were drooping, but I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep until Aniki shook me.

"Rosto, wake up." I jerked up and looked around for a second, only to see that everyone in the room was watching me, even Corcoran and the kitchen gixies.

"What?" I glared at all of them. Kora started giggling, and both Ersken and Phelan were fighting to hide their amusement. Beka and Aniki were shaking with silent laughter. When I continued to send them dirty looks, they just laughed harder. I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, giving my breakfast a surly look.

Finally, Ersken stopped laughing and looked up at me. "Beka tire you out last night, Rosto?" As soon as that was out of his mouth, Beka stopped laughing and turned a brilliant shade of red. Like Guardswoman Goodwin, Beka was one of the few people who could keep Ersken in line. Comments like that were dangerous in public and she was looking daggers at him. I felt spots of pink burning high on my own cheeks as I gave Ersken an even dirtier look. He flinched a little and drew back.

"No, you nosy little ducknob. If you had bothered to check, there was no string around the doorknob, and you have no business asking about that. Am I understood?" Ersken nodded fervently, his eyes wide as saucers. I think he may have been a little scared of me right then…

I almost feel bad that I snapped at him, even if he didn't have any business bringing that up. My temper's been on a short leash recently, being as I've been so tired.

I finished the Yamani roll in front of me, and escaped upstairs to my room. I dozed for a while before I dropped off into a deep sleep. It was the first dreamless sleep I've had in almost a week, and I enjoyed it. The next thing I knew, Beka was shaking me. I knew right then something was off: I can usually hear people coming. I'm that light a sleeper during the day. So her shaking me awake was weird. Add that to the fact that she was dressed in her Dog gear and I felt the bile of fear run up my throat: had she come to kill me?

"Rosto, you've been sleeping since breakfast. Are you alright?" I yawned, stretched a little, and nodded.

"Fine. I was just a little tired, that's all," I said nonchalantly. Beka watched me suspiciously for a moment while I got up, as if she thinks I'm hiding something from her. I get the feeling that she knows there's something going on that I'm not telling her about, and she's not exactly pleased that I haven't told her by my own choice.

I wandered over to my clothespress and began sorting through the shirts on top. I glanced at Beka, giving her a mischievous grin, just to let her know that she didn't have anything to worry about. I nodded to the clothespress.

"Do you want to pick tonight?" I asked her. She smiled faintly and walked over to stand next to me. After looking through it for a minute, she pulled out a brilliant red-gold, one that I haven't worn to Court yet. I admired the color for just a moment before putting the shirt on the bed and giving Beka a kiss on the cheek. "Be careful," I told her. She nodded.

"I will." I watched her go before changing, then settled down to write this before I head to Court. I'd probably best get going, I suppose…

After Court

Bold Brian has certainly lived up to his name. He is far too bold for his own good. If I was anything like Kayfer, that cove would probably be dead now. And if he wasn't a friend of Aniki's, as well as a good rusher, he would be in deep trouble. I may have him go with Ulsa and work with her for a while if he keeps this up.

A couple of weeks ago, he came to see me in the middle of the night with some urgent Rogue business. He was banging on the door like he was dying or something. Since it took me a minute to get to the door, he was waiting expectantly, and nervously. He glanced at me, who was watching him sleepily, and apparently, by pure accident (which I highly doubt) saw Beka's silhouette in the bed. She's not particularly curvy for a mot, but a mot's a mot, and when one is in a man's bed, it's plain obvious. Add to that the fact that I didn't have a shirt on, and well, he put two and two together to make five really fast. Thankfully, it was impossible for him to tell who it was, else, there would have been a problem, and maybe even a very dead rusher if he had shared who it was with the others. He opened his mouth, closed it again, then walked away. Clearly, his Rogue business was not that important.

The next day I was bombarded with cries (from Brian, and a couple of other rushers) of 'the Piper's got a new mot!' Immature little buggers that they are, they pestered me about who she was. I just glared at them, which should have been a sign that they were to be quiet, but that only made it worse. I hate them sometimes, I really do.

Now, tonight was bad. Worse because I was tired, and they took advantage of that, well, more so, Brian did. He's taken to teasing me about once a week, and it's very irritating. As I've mentioned, I'm not sleeping too well. And they take my exhaustion as a sign that I've spent the night 'romping' a little too enthusiastically and a little too long with "The Mot." Which I haven't, they just think that. Bugnobs. Tonight, he wandered up to the platform and stood there until I sighed and turned my attention to him.

"Yes, Brian?" He shifted slightly, as if he was ready to run if I got mad.

"Well…we were just wondering if you and your mot were going to have any children. I mean, if you've been together for more than six months, then you're settling down, ain't you? And if you're this tired, surely business is getting done?" If it wasn't coming from Brian, it would have been considered innocent or a gentle jest that I didn't look too awake. But coming from Brian it was just plain crude. The scummer. I just stared at him, raising one eyebrow slightly. Reed Katie walked up then, glanced from me to him.

"Is Brian asking you about your mot again?" She sighed. "Jinglenob! We were goin' t' do that together this time!" Brian shrugged. My court is insistent on embarrassing me. They are far too jovial and not nearly respectful enough of the Rogue's power.

"Did you ever wonder if you'd end up like Lockhorn, Rosto? Did you know that most Rogues end up either like him or Kayfer? I'm sure you'd prefer the children to bein' dead, wouldn't you?" Brian asked brightly. Well I couldn't very well answer him like I wanted to: Why yes, Brian. I've been considering announcing to the entire city of Corus that I'm in love with Guardswoman Rebakah Cooper, and it is in fact she who has been keeping me company these cold winter nights. And though twelve children is surely too much for one mot, I wouldn't mind one or two, or maybe four of the little mutts running around the inn. Yes, I've thought about it, and no I haven't mentioned that secret little desire I have for children to Beka yet, because I have dreams that she's going to kill me. But I'm sure everything will be alright and we'll all live happily ever after and you can be the godsfather to our son, whom I intend to name after my mother's father, Jarred. Please, just sit down and don't you worry yourself about my health. That was what I could have said, but I bit my tongue. I sighed and tried to ignore him, but he just wouldn't go away.

Finally, realizing that he wasn't going to get much of a rise out of me, he got annoyed and started muttering under his breath. "Thinks he's a clever little spintry, acos he thinks he's outsmarted me. But I'm not stupid, I know what's going on…" That was the final straw. I stood up on the platform and took several slow, perfectly measured steps toward him.

"You are stupid, Brian. What did I tell you about calling me a spintry. Let's get a few things straight. One, do I look like the kind of cove who wants a dozen children running around my inn? I think not. Two, I am not Lockhorn, or Kayfer, and will not be compared to either of them. Three, you're going swimming." Brian paled as I walked toward him, and backed away. I made a single lunge and grabbed him by the ear. He yelped and struggled to get away, not that it helped him any. I glanced at Aniki. "You're in charge. I have something to attend to." I held him by his hair, by his ear, and I hauled him with me, like his own ma would've done. Not only that, but he whined and struggled like a child that was about to get the strap.

He was kicking and screaming like I was going to murder him. I was just going to throw him in the river. And although the River is cold this time of year, it wouldn't kill him. If anything, a bit of cold shock would make him stronger. Possibly even smarter. Besides, a swim in the river, well, it wasn't like that was a death sentence like it was under Kayfer. He killed them, then tossed them in the river. He grabbed everything he could get a hold of as I was hauling him toward the Olorun, but nothing helped. He was yelling at the top of his lungs, too, and may have been kicking, but he hadn't even thought about kicking me until we were in sight of the river. That was not a smart move, and if I hadn't gotten control of myself in time, he would have gotten slugged for kicking me in the ankle when I was mad.

"Ow! Brian, will you stop that! You're just making it worse!" I told him. He, unfortunately, was not listening. He was still trying to pry my fingers from his ear. I glared at him, then decided that it was time to go. I let go of his ear, much to his relief, grabbed him by the front of his shirt this time, and started dragging him towards the river again. He kept struggling, though he knew it was useless, because I'm stronger than he is, and I had the upper hand.

Not too far from the river, we ran into Beka and Goodwin. Ersken must have been off getting something, because Tunstall and Achoo were coming up behind them. I paused slightly as we got to them.

"Evening, Guardswoman Goodwin, Cooper, Guardsman Tunstall," I said pleasantly as I dragged Brian past the small group. "If you'll excuse me, someone is in need of a swim." With a cheery wave to the Dogs, I walked off. I didn't hear a peep out of them, but I know they were talking about if afterwards. They just watched.

Finally, once at the Olorun, I pulled Brian in front of me, to the point where, if I let go, he would fall into the water below. "Do not call me a spintry again. If you do, I will come up with a more creative way to make you stop, understand?" He nodded. "Good. Have fun." And with that, I let go. He fell into the river, and created a large splash. I heard a bark, from a canine dog (Achoo, no doubt) and then the guffaw of Goodwin, and the quiet rumbling chuckle of Tunstall. Beka saw me and shook her head. I'm not going to chastise you, her eyes said, but I knew she'd ask me what that was all about later.

I brushed off my hands and walked back to the Dove, which went completely quiet when I walked in. Nothing else remarkable happened before I headed up here to my room, though. I get the feeling that almost everyone else was afraid to bother me, in fear of receiving the same fate as Bold Brian, who returned shortly before I came upstairs, sopping wet. I will say this – tonight was an interesting night. Ah, here comes Beka. No doubt she's finished in her own journal.


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Lioness's Heart and Lady Wolf