FREAK
By: The Unimportant Author
Who are you?
What's your name?
What's your gender?
These are the first questions you're asked when you're born now a days. Science has grown so much, hasn't it? I'm a GAHLRO, every new born is until they turn ten. Once you reach that age, you may define your Gender, and your Name. Many boys and girls grow up as genderless until this age, there are a few cases where there are deformities in the children, to where they do not grow their biological sex organs, majority of these cases are ended with death and more medical care than the rest of the children. There's only a one in 9998567.92 chance that any one of these children live past three.
I'm one of them.
chapter 1: Judging day
I squealed proudly as I held my Mommy's hand and was guided into the white room where the big man in black sat at his tiny desk.
"Now, don't forget, this is what you're going to be for the rest of your life, okay?" Mommy smiled proudly as I made my way into the room, I sat in the single chair infront of the big man in black. I had a name and gender already in my head, I was so excited, my heart seemed to skip several beats while I waited for the man to set down his pencil and look at me. Finally, he looked at me and set his pencil down. I grinned as wide as I possibly could.
"Who are you?" He asked finally, I shivered excitedly and answered.
"I am the child of Mara Lenz and Duce Lenz." I said, trying to keep my calm, it was hard not to jump out of my chair and shout in his face my new name and gender.
"And what is your name?" He replied after scribbling down the information I had told him. I grinned wider and replied proudly.
"My name is N" The words caught in my throat, I couldn't speak, I was too excited I was so happy, but it all drained away the instant he wrote the wrechid letter down. I rose my hand to stop him, but he had already folded the paper over for the Gender portion of the form. I would be stuck with N as my name for the rest of my life. The man looked up and asked the last question.
"And, what is your gende-" Suddenly the door opened and a woman wearing a white lab coat briskly walked in and bent down, whispering in the mans ear. He rubbed his temples and looked up at me. I was waiting, still eager to tell him my new gender.
"N, I'm sorry, but you can't have a gender." I stared blankly at the man for the longest time, my heart sank to my feet, he seemed ridgid compared to my mother crying in the other room. I saw her through the window. A small tear ran down my cheek as I let the news sink in my skin. I'm never going able to be what I want to be...I'm a freak.
I'm a freak.
I held my Mommy's hand and starred blankly into nothing as we walked out of the office. The doctor was right, I was mutated, and the stem cell injection wasn't going to work on me. I wanted to cry, but my eyes were so puffy from crying in the hospital, that nothing came out anymore. Mommy clenched my fingers and put on a smile.
"It's going to be alright, you can still be whatever you want to be, and at least you have a name, N, it can stand for anything...Nelly, Natasha, Nick."
"Nothing...Neutral...Never..." I interupted, I couldn't get over this. I'm never going to be like all the other children, I'll be a monster, a freak, I'd be worthless. Mommy looked at me, her smile upside-down now, but she bent down and wiped my eye a bit.
"Now, don't be so sad, it's nothing as bad as you think, besides, you still have a choice, you can be whatever you want, remember? Now, let's be strong and go home, okay?" By then, we'd reached the car, I climbed up and sat in the front seat. I tried not to think about it, I'd never be normal. The world would never be the same for me.
Chapter Two: Moving to the Castle
Mom decided we'd move to Texas, and to a small town by the name of Granbury. By small, it was the population of atleast 1.340 thousand. It was tiny.
Dad had left the year after Mom told him about me...I felt terriblebecause it was my fault, so, Mom moved me here in the nobody town of Granbury, Texas.
"N, it's going to be nice, I promise, I grew up here, and the school is really nice, everyone will like you alright? Besides, it's your birthday, you're officially twelve now, be happy." Mom smiled as she drove up to the new house, it was large and beautiful, with stacked stone and it hung perfectly on a ledge by the lake. The place looked almost like a castle. I huffed and lightly banged my head on the window, a new school, I'll be a freak there too. Nobody will ever like me, I wish I could actually have a gender. The car finally parked and the movers truck drove in next to us. Mom stepped out and I followed her, we walked through the huge double doors and almost imediatly, Mom's face grew a wide cheshire grin. I sighed half-heartedly, and she turned to me still grinning.
"How about you pick out your room?" She laughed, and walked into the largest bedroom she saw. I found the stairs and ran up to see what was up there. I found a huge beautiful room, a large bathroom and a balcony made of marble overlooking the nearly crystal clear lake. I grinned, this would be my new room. I ran back down the stairs looking for my mom, and found her playing with the old oil powered stove.
"Mom! I found my room, can I show you?" She turned around and smile, I grabbed her hand and ran up the stairs, showing her the wonderous room. She turned to me and gave me a huge bear hug.
"N, I think this is the best room you could ever have!" She pulled back and stepped over to the balcony. "Oh, it's perfect for you, you could sit out here and paint, and draw the beautiful scenery!" I smiled, and followed her out.
"There are stairs to the lakeshore, and I could sit out on the dock fishing or doodling, or even bird-watching." I laughed, pointing at the stone steps to the dock and sandbar. Mom turned around and went toward the exit.
"We probably need to help the movers, and show them where to put the stuff, and maybe later we can go to Target to pick out the paint for the room." She walked down the stairs, leaving me in the room for a little while longer. I imagined the room, I could picture the colorful bed and curtains, I'd make a perfect room, perfect. Finally I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, Mom was directing where the couch went when I interveined and to help. After everything was moved in, we sat the movers down and brought out a glass of lemonaide. I walked into the living room where the two movers sat gratefully on the couch.
"Here, it's just some extra thanks for moving the stuff." I smiled and handed the two each a glass. One was around fourteen and he was distinctly male, his obvious father sat next to him, the two smiled at me and I stood up to go put the glasses up.
"Hey," I turned around and the younger boy was standing up, he stepped toward me and tried a smile. "You're N, right? Can I ask you something?" I nodded, confusedly, what reason would he have to ask me something?
"..What's your gender?" I was dumbfounded, flabbergahsted, bewildered, hurt. I stood staring at the boy for nearly a minute. His eyes begged for forgiveness, I dropped my tray unaware that he'd picked it up. I felt tears well at my eyes and shook my head, pushing him out of the way and running up the stairs to my room.
I stayed there in my room staring at myself in the mirror, my hair was long and I could see the red in my eyes after crying for an hour or two. Compulsively, I yanked the scissors off the desk and pulled my hair straight, angrily, I sliced and cut chunks off. I wanted to be what I wanted, I wanted to be normal. I kept cutting, and crying, and screaming, but the intolerable pain never left, I shrieked, instantly my mom ran up the stairs.
"N?" She ran toward me, grabbing my hand and pulling the scissors from my hands, I writhed out of her grasp and fell to the floor crying. She stood over me, staring bewildered at her child. I sobbed, pulling the shredds of hair from around my shoulders, immediatly she sat next to me, softly rocking me in her arms. I couldn't stop crying, I hated this, I hated being like this.
"Shh, shh, it's going to be okay, I promise..." She pet my head and cooed softly, letting me sobb and rocking me, trying to make me feel somewhat better.
Chapter three: Crossland the Kindergarden-Ninth grade school
Being officially enrolled in the Crossland Ninth grade center, I was up and ready for school, though reluctant to leave the house at all.
"Come on, N, we've got to go, we've got breakfast to get, I hear there's a tasty donut shop by the school." Mom encouraged from outside the bathroom. I stood at the mirror staring at myself, my eyes were large and an ugly forest green, my hair still the choppy chainsaw haircut I'd created three days before. I turned on my side, I was skinny and frail-looking, nothing to be proud of, nothing at all. I sighed and opened the door, Mom smiled and we made our way to the car, stopping by the donut shop and then at last, school.
"See you later, m'kay?" Mom smiled just before I shut the door and headed through the doors. It was unaturally small, for a three story school, the uper level was all the extra ciricular classes, underneath was the regular ones. I sighed and meekly walked down the hallways, the place looked old, like it'd had been here for years. The school had grades 1-9 and I was half afraid of drowning in children's paper machet toys. I climbed the first stairs and found the 7-9 level, this would be my main area. I made my way to the cafeteria on that level and reluctantly sat down at an empty table, right before the bell rang. Begrudgingly, I glanced at my schedhule; first is Theatre, room 123 behind the stage. I mumbled angrily under my breath and headed to the theatre room, files of kids spat out of the room and I had to force my way around them to actually get in.
"Hello, I'm Mr. Gille, pleasure to meet you...uh...?"
"N." The spontaneous teacher grabbed my hand and vigorously shook it, and patted my back as I walked into the room, the layout was awkward, the smartboard at the front was rather small compared to California schools, and the desks were still wooden. I sighed inwardly and sat down at the very back. Other students made their way in, nonchalantly conversing with their friends. I stayed in my seat, trying not to converse with anyone, I could already see how they were maturing, quickly, testosterone and horomones running wild. I only wish for that. I lay my head on my desk and ignored their incesant chatter.
"Hey, my name's Cole, what's your's?" I rose my head and met deep brown eyes and an old fashioned 'Beiber' haircut. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"N." He smiled and stood up, I followed, simply out of interest.
"Welcome to Crossland, N, it doesn't look like you like much here, though." I managed a smile and he smiled back.
"No, I like it here," I lied. "I'm just not really a people person." I muttered softly. He patted my shoulder and nodded.
"Yeah, lifes like that, I probably came on a bit strong huh? I do that sometimes."
