Sometimes I lay down in my bed at night and think about the next day. Adulthood makes you think that way: just take things one day at a time. That frame of mind most certainly got me through my years during the war. It got me through law school which I wondered often if I would get through, but I did. One day at a time.

I don't know why I can't think about tomorrow tonight but I just can't. I keep thinking about my boyhood and what a wonderful one I had. Sure, it wasn't easy but you forget how good it feels to know that you got your whole life ahead of you and you could not only think but dream past tomorrow. I was going to be a lawyer and I made that dream a reality. I was going to be a football star and while my legend won't be known nationally, I had a pretty good run during my teen years. I was going to be like my father but that will never happen. One Atticus Finch is enough. I am Jem Finch and I hope when my children are grown, they will understand that, too.

Children. Can I handle that? I think I could remember what to do for a boy like me but what in the world would I do for a girl like Scout? Scout is twenty-four years old and I don't think Atticus still knows what to do with her yet. She's bold, she's brass, and she's my favorite person. I've come to find that a lot of things in life that are worth it are never easy. Scout, I hope you remember those summer days out in the front yard with Dill dreaming about the disgusting things the Radley's were doing. I hope you remember your books that you and Atticus used to read together. I hope you remember when you were too smart for your own good. I hope you remember how non-chalantly you broke up that lynch mob. I hope you always remember your spirit.

I hear laughter and it makes me jump. I jolt up in bed and I clutch my chest. Once I catch my breath again, I can almost recognize that laugh as Scout's. It couldn't possibly have been her. Besides, she hasn't laughed like that since she was at least eight years old.

"Jem!" I hear little Scout yell out for me.

"Scout?" I hear my younger self call back out to her.

Am I dreaming? I must be.

"Catch me!"

I can see my little sister now. She's got her overalls on and her hair blowing in the wind. I can feel myself in the water. I must be back at Barker's Eddy. I see her swinging high on the rope as if we were playing Tarzan and maybe we were. I gasp for breath as I see her let go of the rope and I reach up to catch her. My manuever is successful and I go underwater with her in my arms. She manages to stay on top of the water while I stay under. She looks at me perplexed; she's as confused as I am.

"Are you going to let me go?" She asks me in such a sad voice that I thought we both were going to start crying.

"No, Scout, I won't let you go."

"Even if you're not up here with me?"

"Yes. I got you. Always remember that I got you."

I stirred again and found that it was just a dream but the way I felt during the dream was real. My face was soaked with tears and I got up in my dark bedroom and flipped on my desk light. I got out a pen and a pad of paper.

Scout,

Always remember that I got you.

I've never felt so anxious to tell someone something. It's in the middle of the night and I am not calling her so late. I hope she's sleeping okay because I sure as hell am not. I can think about tomorrow now because I'm going to call her to tell her that.