Greeting everyone.

This is my first Star Trek fic so I hope you enjoy it. I'm currently going through a ST phase (which will probably never end) and I had to write something to go with it. I also have another story I'm working on that's more Spock/Jim friendship.

I do not own Star Trek (wish I did because Spock & Jim are freakin' hot!) and I hope you enjoy my story and review.


To give vent now and then to his feelings,

whether of pleasure or discontent,

is a great ease to a man's heart.

~Francesco Guicciardini

Nyota Uhura often prided herself on the many skills that she happened to possess.

One of them that she had poured her heart and soul into was reading the man she had come to love with a fire that threatened to consume her very being: Spock. When she was his student she had learned to pick up on various subtleties that he exuded when angry, uncomfortable, and even happy. Once they began their secret relationship her ability to read him got easier, but he still remained a mystery shrouded in confusion much to Nyota's displeasure.

Spock was a creature of habit and logic, which (on occasion) left Nyota feeling jilted and unsure of her true value to Spock. She was only human after all and she dealt with the string of 'illogical' human emotions. However, Nyota had a better handle on her emotions when she was able to regroup before facing the Half-Human Half-Vulcan who had stolen her heart with a simple look and an intelligence that she deeply admired. He made her feel all the colors under the rainbow from happiness to anger.

"Penny for your thoughts Lieutenant Uhura?" Capt. Kirk said to his distracted teammate. Nyota turned to her side to look at Jim who was leaning against the console her fingers had been tapping not moments ago. She looked up and met the kind eyes of the man, who three years ago had been the bane of her existence. He certainly had grown up since then.

"It's nothing Captain, just anxious to return home." Nyota said not entirely lying to him. Jim nodded and turned to scan the bridge a few minutes before turning back to the concerned woman next to him.

He was no fool; he knew where she truly wanted to be. Jim had ordered Spock to go get some rest and he knew that was where she wanted to be. Nero was gone and even though the battle was over Jim could feel the collective exhaustion, coupled with his own, hovering over the heads of everyone on the Enterprise.

"Take a break Uhura." Jim said with a newfound authority that felt right to him. He wondered if Spock Prime knew that he'd feel this way when he became the 'rightful' captain of the Enterprise. "Sir…" Nyota began to protest but Jim held his hand up.

"I basically sent him to his room like a sulking child. I have a feeling he wants to see you as much as you want to be with him. Just try to get some rest, you both deserve it." Jim said and his eyes softened as he thought of Spock. They had their issues to be sure, but he already considered him a friend: And what friend would Jim be if he kept what Spock truly needed from him?

Nyota was shocked, but caught the flash of fondness in his eyes and realized he was going to be a great captain. "Thank you sir." Nyota said and Jim nodded before moving back to his seat where Bones was waiting for him. Pike was currently under Bones' observation as were some of the crew like Jim who were more tired than anything. Nyota watched Jim's exhausted frame and thought for a brief moment that he deserved to rest, but she knew Jim and he'd never take a break while his team was still working hard to get them home.

Nyota stepped into the lift and made her way to the living quarters. She just hoped Spock wouldn't push her away like he was known to do when his human emotions got the best of him.

- - - - -

When Nyota arrived at Spock's door she hesitated only a moment before knocking solidly. While on her way she had decided that he was not going to push her away this time. There would be no fear of being found out considering Jim had seen them before they beamed to Nero's ship. Jim hadn't said anything so Nyota was more than convinced he had given them the green light. Therefore the only thing preventing them from truly being a happy couple would be Spock's logical insistence as he repressed him human side. Nyota hoped to show him that he needn't do such a thing.

His door slid open and a pair of conflicted dark eyes that held all of Spock's humanity in their depths greeted Nyota. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment until Spock stepped away to let her enter. So far, so good. When she heard the door slide shut she turned around and, without hesitation, reached out to him. Spock moved very little as Nyota embraced him, but once he breathed in her relaxing scent he lifted his arms to hold her to him.

Nyota laid her head on Spock's firm chest and tried to fill her mind with all the comforting, supportive, and affectionate thoughts she could. She would be strong for him. Nyota's hands crept up his back until she was cupping his face in a familiar gesture that made them both relax into each other. She saw the conflict in his eyes and her heart hurt for him. She wanted to take away his burden, but she knew it was impossible. Nyota feared he'd always be at war with his Human half simply because he was raised to be Vulcan. She needed to show him emotions were a good thing; she just wasn't sure how.

"I was not aware that your shift had ended." Spock said controlled and clinical. Nyota sighed quietly as she felt Spock shove the emotions he so desperately wanted to convey back into their proper box before replying. "The captain told me to take a break."

Spock's eyebrow quirked in a familiar fashion that still made a smile appear on Nyota's lips. "He was worried about you." Nyota said honestly and saw the deep curiosity in his eyes. Nyota knew that one day he and Jim would be very good friends: They were on that path right now and would continue that journey if Spock decided to stay on the Enterprise. Nyota had refused to fret over Spock's choice for she knew he had a difficult one ahead of him. She did wonder if he had thought about it, but knowing Spock he had already compiled a list of pros and cons for each situation whether it was going to help the Vulcans build a colony or stay with Star Fleet.

"Why would Jim worry about me when I am in perfect health and resting as he ordered?" Spock asked and Nyota resisted the sudden urge to role her eyes at Spock's question. She did notice how he called the Captain 'Jim' though and knew her hypothesis about their friendship was indeed correct.

"Because Spock, a lot has happened to make life harder for you. That and he is worried about all of us, including you, because of how haggard we all are." Nyota said as her thumbs smoothed over his pale face.

Spock heard her words and accepted the fact Jim's worry was a human trait he would express more now that he was captain. Spock leaned down and rested his forehead on Nyota's to help him battle the emotions her words triggered in him. Thinking of the loss of his planet and his mother created a bitter sensation to course through him like wave of freezing water in the ocean. He had to maintain a state of calm or he'd be overcome by his human emotions. That would be unacceptable.

Nyota could feel Spock's resistance to his overflowing emotions and looked up to meet his eyes, her hands firming their grip on his face. "Spock, it's not a crime to grieve: It's not a crime to feel." Nyota said her voice creeping into his soul like a warm fog. Nyota didn't want him to suppress his emotions, she wanted to see them: They were locked behind glass walls that Nyota wanted nothing more than to shatter.

Spock slowly brought his hand up and cupped the back of her neck as he felt all the affection and supportive feelings from Nyota race down his spine. She too was worried about him, which made Spock feel the irrational guilt once more for causing her distress. Most of her worry was an echo from his trip to Nero's ship. He never intended to cause her anguish of any kind and yet he did.

"Nyota…" Spock said softly, his breath caressing her face. Spock leaned down as she met his lips gently. It was more of an assurance that she was there than anything. Expressing his emotions was most difficult for him since he had spent his life reigning them in. He wanted to give her what she desired, a look into his soul. He was afraid of what she would see though, he was ashamed of a few things he had felt-had thought. He couldn't bare to lose her too.

Spock felt Nyota's hands sneak into his hair, something he secretly loved, and he shivered when they traced his ears on the way up. This woman was able to elicit an emotional response in a way no one else ever had, or ever will. There was no hesitation in Nyota's actions and she was an exceptionally strong and intelligent woman. Logically, if anyone could bare the weight of his repressed emotions it was her: Spock wanted just this once to feel the ups and downs of his emotions and not be ashamed of them. Nyota would help him with that.

Spock broke away to ask permission, but Nyota was already nodding. "Show me what you need Spock," she said tenderly. Spock paused for a moment as his natural hesitations sunk in, but he raised his hand anyway. Silently preparing himself, Spock strategically placed his three fingers on Nyota's face and heard her inhale before the warped sensation took them both.

Nyota reached out to Spock and was hit with a plethora of emotions she wasn't expecting. Hatred for Nero, grief and sadness for the loss of his mother whom he had loved, guilt for not expressing his feelings as well as making Nyota worry about him. Admiration for Jim and his ability to lead, mild surprise at his father's confession of his love for Spock's mother, and then love. Spock was full of love so bright and warm it left Nyota breathless.

What made the tears rush to Nyota's eyes suddenly was the overwhelming truth that she was at the center of that love. She saw flashes of herself through his eyes. Memories played like a wonky projector of his mother and father too. Spock's moment with Jim in his ship and how Jim insisted it would work played and was accompanied with trust and that admiration she had felt earlier. Spock was brimming with emotion and she realized he was depending on her to ground him and reveal the ultimate power of what he had grown to think was illogical and unnecessary. He needed her…

Spock reluctantly broke away after feeling Nyota begin to shake with the power of his deep emotions. Nyota brought her hands to her face to wipe away the tears. His pain, his suffering made her ache like she never had before. The love he felt for her especially made it hard for her to breathe properly. She had never doubted Spock's ability to feel, but she had been caught unawares of the intensity of his feelings.

"Oh Spock…" Nyota began but was unsure of where to begin. He was right to hate Nero and feel grief for his mother's dead. She hated that he felt guilty for the things he did. His memories and feelings lingered in her mind and she needed to take a few breaths in to control her urge to escape from the source of the tremendous influx she had just received. Her breathing was erratic and her pulse hammered in her veins. She figured it would be a bit difficult for her to handle, but this was more than she could bare.

Spock made to step away from her to give Nyota space, but she reached out and pulled him back into her arms. She held him like her life depended on it. Spock buried his face in her neck and the ache in his heart lessened when she accepted him so readily back into her space. She was his comfort.

"She knew: Mothers always know Spock. She loved you." Nyota began prepared to convince him all he felt, all he thought, was perfectly acceptable and expected. Spock stiffened but stayed in her arms knowing she wasn't finished. "Your emotions make you who you are Spock, you should never feel ashamed for that. You should hate Nero, grieve for your mother, and trust Jim-trust all of us because we're your family." Nyota said leaving the best for last in her mind.

Spock felt Nyota hesitate to go on and pulled back to meet her shining eyes. Her smile eclipsed any sadness she previously felt and when she cupped his face once more Spock felt an overpowering elation when she spoke once more.

"I love you for who you are Spock, not what people expect you to be." Nyota said with everything she had. Spock swept down and claimed her lips with a new hunger he hadn't felt in so long. Nyota let a laugh escape her lips as she clung to the man causing the many sensations throughout her being. The storm had passed, for now, and Nyota was filled with a sense of completion as she expressed her own emotions to Spock.

There was more to be discussed, but for now Spock was content to let himself be swept up in the love for the woman he held. She lessened his pain and breathed life into the numb corners of his soul.

He was at peace.


As I said this was my first Star Trek fic, I normally write Criminal Minds so this was different, but fun of course. I just love writing in general and when give the opportunity and the inspiration my stories are born. I really hope you liked my story, I'm quite proud of it.

Peace out.