Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
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I stared at him as he walked in, his hair soaked and his chest bare. I tried not to think about how hot he was, and focused on how pissed off at him I was. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a heated glare. He had yet to notice I was pissed off, as he walked in, shaking the water from his hair. He took off his muddy shoes and then made his way from the front entrance to the living room.
"Hi beautiful." He smiled and I kept my lips pursed and my arms crossed. I was not going to give into him. Not this time.
"You missed our date." Those four words dropped the smile from his face, and I could see his jaw tighten slightly.
"I'm sorry but I was busy. I had to help Sam. It was important." I tapped my barefoot against the cold tile, even though my feet were freezing.
"You're always helping Sam. Every time we make plans we have to cancel because you are always helping Sam!" I could see his chest rising and falling, his breathing had increased and he was clenching his fists.
"I can't say no." I rolled my eyes and walked closer to him, my feet hitting the cold tile and then the slightly less cold wood floor.
"Yes you can. You can always say no. I'm clearly just not a priority to you." His eyes darkened and he clenched his fists tightly. He took a step back.
"You don't know anything about what I can and can't do. I have no are my priority and you know it, but I have my own shit to deal with ." I unclenched my fists and crossed my arms. I had chills running up and down my spine and I had a feeling this would lead to a bad argument.
"You don't act like you give a damn about me or our plans! Fuck , Paul! You left me in the restaurant alone! I sat there for an hour and a half looking like an idiot!" I raised my voice and filled the momentary silence between us.
"I can't deal with this shit!" He turned on his heel and walked out, slamming the door behind him.
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We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still
I looked at the picture in the old wooden frame on top of my nightstand. It was taken in the winter and I was freezing cold, but still had a smile on my face.
Paul had a handful of snow in his hand and a mischievous look on his face. I hadn't realized that he was going to dump it down my jacket until it was too late.
I was too caught up in the moment. I was having fun outside, despite being cold , and had no idea that I was about to have a chilly surprise. I was focused on the person taking the picture and not focused on what he was doing.
I'm glad the picture was taken before he dumped the snow down my back. When he had dumped the snow down my back, I let out a loud scream and tugged at my jacket trying to get the snow out. I could hear him laughing behind me and then I felt his hand on my back pressing both my jacket and the snow tight against my back.
"Paul! You shithead!" I turned on my heel and put my hands on his chest and pushed him as hard as I could, but he didn't budge. Instead, he grabbed my waist and tossed me into the snow bank.
"I hate you, you jerk!" I squirmed in the snow and tried to get out on my own. I huffed and eventually held out my hands and he placed my hands in his and pulled me up, flush to his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"You love me."
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So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home
I watched the window carefully and when I saw his truck pull up into the driveway, I jumped from the couch and ran to the door. Paul was back after a long trip to visit one of his family members who was in the hospital. It had been a few weeks since I had seen him last and I couldn't wait to kiss him again.
"Paul!" I ran out the door in my bare feet, not caring that it was raining or that my feet would get muddy. I wanted to be in his arms again and I wanted to be held by him.
"Hi beautiful." I jumped into his arms and he spun me around twice before setting me down on the hood of his truck. He stepped in between my legs and put his two, hot and big hands on my waist.
"I missed you." I pulled him in by wrapping my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. I felt him kiss me back and the kiss flooded with emotions.
"God, I missed you too." He pressed his lips back against mine and picked me up off the hood. Without breaking our kiss, I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me inside and out of the rain.
"I need you." I pulled back and smiled at him, knowing exactly what he needed and wanted.
"Yes."
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Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die
I stood at the graveside, my whole body feeling shattered and numb. I was so shocked by what had happened and I still hadn't comprehended it. My mother was gone. She was gone, murdered, dead.
"She lived a good life, a true life. She put others well being ahead of her own and she loved with every fiber of her being. She was the greatest woman I have ever known and though she may be gone, she will always be a part of our lives." I looked across the graveside to the spot where my brother was standing.
He was standing with his girlfriend and their baby girl, but he wasn't looking at the pastor speaking, he was looking at me.
I hadn't seen him in such a long time and it was strange seeing him after all these years. He looked exactly like our father, and I was glad. He hadn't spent much time with our father before he passed of cancer.
"I'm here for you." Paul squeezed my hand and I tore my eyes from my brother and looked towards Paul. He was staring down at me, watching me, making sure I was okay.
I was okay. For now. Once we got home, and once we were alone, I would break down. That's when I would really let my emotions go.
"Rest in peace."
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And if you hurt me
That's OK, baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
I thumbed the pages of the album and looked back on the last 2 years I was with Paul. It was a roller coaster ride and there were times when we would scream and fight and he would storm out and leave me alone. There were times when he would be pissed off and wouldn't talk to me and I would have to almost beat conversations out of him.
But this is the worst that's happened. I decided and chose to try and end it with him. I decided to call it quits and I had been a chicken and left him a voice-mail. I thought and knew he deserved better. He did.
"I'm so sorry." I held the album up to my chest and clamped my eyes shut. I could feel the sobs rising up my throat and I really struggled to keep it together.
"I'm so sorry Paul!" I started crying and I pulled the album away from my chest and closed it, before I threw it across the room watching it land against the closet doors.
I curled up on our bed, mine now, and gripped the sheets tightly in my hands, feeling anger coursing through my veins. I had ended things with Paul and yet I was angry. I was pissed. I was pissed and it was all my own fault.
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When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."
I was home alone, when I heard the familiar sound of his truck pulling up to the driveway. I sat on the couch frozen as I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. I had no idea what he was going to do, or say or if he was even going to try knocking.
I waited patiently for him to knock or yell through the door or do something, but there was nothing. Slowly, I got off the couch and walked towards the entryway and slowly placed my hand on the handle.
My heart was racing and my mind was going wild. Why now? Why would he show up now? It had been a month since I had called it off and he shows up now?
"Open the door." I heard his deep voice and I felt a shudder of excitement running down my spine. It had been a month and still, he could give me chills just by the sound of his voice.
"Why Paul?" I heard nothing for a minute. I waited for him to speak again.
"You left me a voice-mail. You left me a voice-mail that you called us quits. I waited a month, I gave you space but now I'm here. Open the door." I twisted the door handle and opened the door and looked him over.
He had looked well, but he looked tired, exhausted even. He looked good though and I could feel my body heating up.
"I missed you. God I missed you." He walked in and grabbed my jaw with his hands and claimed my mouth with his. I felt startled by the sudden movement, but as he continued to kiss me, I slowly responded.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I let myself go and put every emotion I possibly could into kissing him back and I felt him groan against my lips. I ran my hand down his chest, stopping at the waist of his jeans. I gave them a quick tug and he pulled away and looked down at me.
I tugged at his jeans again and watched his eyes darken. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, looking down into his brown eyes.
"I'm home."
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I do not own the song Photograph or the twilight series or Paul. I do own the OC. Thanks for reading!
