"Kyuuuuuu..."

Hakuryuu whimpered quietly as he curled up against the window sill next to the kitchen counter. His gaze traveled back and forth, from Hakkai to the window, Hakkai to the window, Hakkai to the path that lead to the grocery store, Hakkai to the path the Gojyo took to go to the grocery store. The little dragon's mind was focused on one thing at the moment- food - and his appetite was large enough to put Goku's enormous cravings to shame. A long while had passed since the smoking Casanova left with promise of a feast. 95 clock minutes had passed. No crimson haired player. No feast.

"Kyuuu..." Resigned, the magical creature returned his attention to his master, sitting as calmly as ever at the kitchen table, tutoring a little boy.

The almost inaudible whine caught Hakkai's ear and the green eyed man looked up and smiled with encouragement, holding up two fingers which meant: Two minutes. Gojyo will be back in two minutes. Just you wait.

With that, the kindly teacher went back to his lesson. In the chair next to him, a small boy toiled over a sheet of fine paper, bamboo brush in his hand and ink staining his cheeks where he had scratched an itch. Chinese calligraphy wasn't actually Hakkai's forte, but the knowledge served well when it came to making a little money here and there. It's been a almost a year living with Gojyo and there was no way he would stay at home like a housewife while the fiery eyed man served as the bread winner...and bread gambler.

In any case, teaching helped him take his mind off... a lot of things. The more he avoided self reflection, the better, but Hakkai knew that the guilt would always get him in the end. Memories of Kanan...sweet Kanan...were all consuming, heart wrenching and soul shredding. Taking on a new name was little remedy, because the only thing he ever heard in those cool, silent moments of early morning, in that chokingly humid midday heat, in those tranquil night breezes was her gentle voice calling out.

Gonou...Gonou...We're not alone anymore are we?...Gonou...

"Hakkai-sensei?" A small voice broke through his daydreaming. Blurry green eyes focused once more and Hakkai felt as if he had just emerged from being underwater; the dim, nebulous and engulfing images of his own mind giving way to the radiant life and clarity of reality.

Hakkai forcibly ripped himself from the reverie and tried to concentrate on his student who was now turned to him with an expectant gaze, inwardly praying for approval.

"All finished, Shunkei?" He smiled widely trying his damnedest to make it look genuine. "My, my, that was fast. Let's see. What do we have here?"

A large black character took up half the page he had laid out on the table.
"It's recognizable..."

Shunkei's face fell in shame, but his mentor continued the lesson, a slender finger running alongside the shiny, wet ink.

"...but look here...this is where your hand shook, breaking the continuity of the stroke. Have a calm hand. Don't worry, the paper won't bite."

The boy smirked at the joke. Hakkai-sensei always told jokes. That was what made him more fun than Shunkei's former teachers who were basically old, crusty scholars who tried to make themselves look like they knew more than they really did. Hakkai-sensei...he was young, but to the boy, he knew more about life than any of those historians as ancient as the material they studied.

"Though I must say you are improving every time I see you!" chirped Hakkai happily. "In a few months, your works might rival those of your fathers. When he comes back from that business trip, he will be as proud of you as I am."

"He was a youkai, you know." Shunkei blurted out, shyly looking down at his flawed painting.

The brunette raised a slender brown in question. "Does that really matter?"

"Mama didn't want to tell you. She wants to hide it from the rest of the town too. She thought that maybe you wouldn't want to teach me if you knew that I'm a..."

"Half-breed?" Hakkai finished for him. "That never really bothered me."

The boy's eyes went wide with shock and he gaped. "You knew?"

In answer, the other tugged a strand of Shunkei's hair and showed him the hair dye that rubbed off. "This and your eyes."

"I can't dye my eyes."

"Don't."

"They have a weird color though."

"Not at all."

"But-"

"What are you ashamed of?"

"People say that kids like me are worthless."

"Do you actually think your are undeserving of approval just because you are the child of a demon and a human?"

Shunkei said nothing. Actually, that's why he had mentioned this to his knowledgeable sensei in the first place. Rumors meant nothing to him, neither did local superstition about how children of a taboo were apocalyptic messengers. If they were affirmed by Hakkai-sensei, then they must be true.

"And if it were true?" Hakkai leaned against the tabletop and patiently waited for an answer, the placid smile not leaving his face. "Would you stop striving to be your best?"

"No."

"Why?"

Shunkei furrowed his brows together in serious contemplation then reached again for the horsehair brush which was neatly propped against the inkwell. With eleven confident strokes, he finished and presented his answer to his teacher.

Kuei.

Ah. Honor.

"One of my first sensei's said that honor is the most powerful bond in the universe." added the boy quickly.

How quaint, yet so very true.

"Your worth is measured with honor, then?" the brunette instructor pursued.

"H...Hai."

Hakkai could only guess...such a meter was meant only for the innocent.

"True honor only comes when your heart believes in it. What others say is of little importance. You determine your own worth. That's why..."

Shunkei waited for yet another revelation, but for Hakkai it was time to switch philosopher mode off and teacher mode on.

"...you should fix the error in that first character you made...if I am not mistaken you were trying to write 'virtue' but you slightly disfigured that last stroke." Hakkai whipped out yet another piece of paper and cheerfully patted the boy's head . "Honor can't really be sustained when on top of marred virtue!" he piped as he indicated the positioning of the two painted symbols. "Fix it."

The other sighed with a mix of contentment and disappointment. Content that he had his answer. Disappointed that his teacher did not forget to make him redo his previous mistake.

"Hai, sensei."

***

Shunkei had left. Hakkai sat at the table, eyes fixated at that eleven stroke character and the sound of the clock resonating somberly throughout the empty room. Endless moments passed marked only with an endless stream of tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...but there was a certain part of his mind that was untouched by time. A recurring moment. An eternal replay of a dark and stormy night different from other dark and stormy nights because alongside the rain ran crimson rivulets. Soaked by rain. Soaked by...yes...it was a different dark and stormy night.

The sun would start to set soon for the light had taken on a dark orange tinge, that as the day wears on to a close, would turn red...like-

Honor.

The most powerful bond in the universe.

Honor over camaraderie.

Honor over friendship.

Honor over...love?

Who was he to question it when it was the very thing that had been his downfall. She was an honorable woman. The epitome of goodness. A maiden of pure, of innocence. And she was his. At least that was what he had believed. Apparently, Kanan was too honorable. Too good. And honor came before her love for him.

That is why he had lost. A great sage once said that there is no greater calamity than to underestimate your enemy for to underestimate the strength of your enemy is to lose your treasure. And if you overestimate one's closest love, one's closest treasure? For Hakkai, it meant losing everything and converting into one's own enemy.

For him, for Kanan, honor was a means to an end. The word doesn't deserve to be written in ink, but in...

Blood.

That's more like it. The word rung more familiar in his ear. More comfortable. It ran through his veins too, just like in every living human being, but his blood was different. As it surged through his body, filled his heart, marked his pulse...like the smooth, ever-present rush of a river, it was whispering those words which he could never live down.

Sinnersinnersinnersinnersinnersinner.

And he would resign to accept its torment, hiding it with a mask-like smile. Right now, at least, there was nobody to hide anything from so Hakkai took the liberty to turn the sides of his lips down for once.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"Kanan, I'm leaving for work now. Are you sure you don't want to come along? The kids would love to see you."

"Sumimasen, Gonou, but I want to mend a dress of mine before we go see the cherry blossoms this year. You will take me, won't you?"

"Spring already?"

"Hai. Didn't you notice the flowers blooming everywhere?"

"Why look at them when I can look at you?"

"Gonou..."

"Maa, maa. Of course we'll go see them. There hasn't been a year when we haven't ne?"

***
"Kanan! I'm home! Are you ready? Let's get going to see-"

Broken glass. Her clothes strewn over the floor. Tables broken. Curtains ripped. Torn. The ghost of her presence, her screams, her pleadings...echoing through the slashed walls of our house. I can no longer see our house in any other way. Then there were the townspeople. Damn their honor. They had none.

"There was nothing we could do."

"No way we could beat that bunch."

"Toying with women...it's horrible."

"If we had resisted, we'd all have been killed too."

"Poor thing..."

They were worthless to me. Worthless to her.

Worthless...worthless...worthless...

"Such words from the ungrateful jerk I let live under my roof and eat at my table!"
Hakkai jumped at the familiar voice and found himself standing eye to eye with his smirking best friend who had just crashed through the door.

"Sumimasen Gojyo. I hadn't realized I actually said that out loud." he apologized, smiling guiltily. "In any case, I wasn't talking about you."

Gojyo dropped two armfuls of groceries on the counter. From the small metallic twang that emitted from one of the bags, Hakkai, settling back down, could only assume that the other had invested a portion of his winnings on beer.

"Don't kill yourself over it. Even if you were talking about me I wouldn't have given a damn. Not like Mr. Worldly Monk doesn't say it...all the fuckin time." Gojyo drawled on as he opened a new pack of cigarettes and took one between his lips. "So did Hakkai-sensei teach anything worth learning about?" he asked as he draped one arm around the other man and leaned in close to look at the painted sheets. "Virtue and Honor, eh? They don't mean shit to me."

"Everyone could do with a little less of both." the green eyed man returned quietly, a genuine smile quirking up the sides of his mouth. "Rogue."

The other grinned mischievously. "In the flesh and in the spirit."

"So how should I define your life, Gojyo?" joked Hakkai. "Alcohol, women and cards?"

"You forgot to mention one last thing?"

"Oh? And what might that be?"

Reaching a hand up to Hakkai's face, he ran his thumb softly over his pale cheek. Hearing the tiny, almost inaudible gasp, Gojyo pulled his hand away and revealed the ink he had wiped off which was now smeared on the tips of his fingers. He backed away and leaned against the counter, shrugging as he lit the cigarette. "Baka."

"Ah." Hakkai responded, hiding the blush that crept into his face but the other was quick enough to catch the slight color in his cheeks before he was able to discipline himself back into his usual expression. "I'm flattered."
"Just don't start thinkin I'm gonna start buyin' you flowers and taking you out to dinner and stuff like that. I reserve that charm for the ladies."

"Speaking of dinner..." Something about that word rung a bell in Hakkai's memory of the not so distant past. But what was it? Something about food...Were Sanzo and Goku coming over for dinner? No, that's not it. Somebody wanted food...someone who doesn't talk a lot...aha! "Hakuryuu was hungry. Do you know where he went?"

Gojyo looked up, taken a little aback by Hakkai's radical turn in conversation. "The little rat? Didn't see him. Can't we just fill him with gasoline or something?"

"It doesn't work like that." sighing, Hakkai persused the house a second time. The little dragon was nowhere to be seen, but the soft breeze that wafted through the open window gave him a hint as to what might have happened to Hakuryuu. "He must have gone out looking for food."

"Oi." Gojyo interrupted, a bit irritated that Hakkai had deviated from where he was conducting the conversation.

Ever the direct one, Gojyo took Hakkai's chin within a gentle grasp and made him look to meet his eyes, intent on putting him back on course...

"H...ai?"

...until he saw that pool of sorrow and reminiscence that was dwelling behind his roommate's gaze. He gave up and let go.

There was no use in competing with a dead woman...but the man's been grieving for almost a whole damn year now. Gojyo would back off, for a while.

"What do dragons eat anyway?"

"Meat. Stuff we eat."

"Oh."

"You think you know where he is?"

Gojyo scratched the back of his head. "Not that I care too much about the little runt. He'll come back eventually, but he might be at the festival in the park. If you want to go look-"

"Festival?"

"The spring festival."

"Spring already?" Hakkai almost choked on his words at the memory.

A hand fell on his shoulder and he looked up to concerned eyes...the color of the sunset. "Hey, sensei, you okay?"

"Hai. I'm fine. We should get going. I know he doesn't mean it, but Hakuryuu might start to scare some people."

"Shit. I almost forgot. Dragons aren't really too common are they?"

"Iie. I don't think so."

***

If his calculations weren't completely off, today was 365 days since that day. Funny how time passes and how so much could happen in a year. But apparently only he felt the weight of experience from those agonizing days. It was his and his alone, no one to suffer with him.

The cycle of death and rebirth, rot and renewal turned slowly and steadily by the hand of Time. The cherry blossoms were still blooming as they had for generations. Leaves fell. Light snow graced the land. Heavy rain quenched drought. Water evaporated. Heat slicked summers hung over the land every year just the same. But his heart never moved away from that dark and stormy spring night, different from other dark and stormy nights. Tainted with desperation and revenge. Infused with rage and hatred. All culminating in one more damnable act of honor.

"Sucks doesn't it?" Gojyo commented as they strode side by side towards the grove of cherry blossoms where the festival was being held. "It's a perfect day. Cloudless. And still you make it rain for yourself."

Hakkai allowed his smile to falter. "Is it so wrong to grieve?"

"I couldn't give you advice about that sensei-san. It's ain't my area." He paused thoughtfully. "You must've had one hell of a girl."

"Hai."

"So...what was she like?"

The former human gave a low chuckle. "I'm surprised you're actually interested Gojyo."

They were now at the festival entrance. Vendors were splayed to the sides of sinuous pathways lined with gracefully arching cherry blossoms. Petals soundlessly floated through the air like pink snowflakes, lifted by playful breezes. The smell of cooking hung thick in the air, but so far no Hakuryuu. The two continued talking as they walked among the townspeople who were content in their leisure. A multitude of kites spotted the celeste sky, dancing to and fro as if in tempo with the music that rose above the public's voices.

"It has to do with a woman. Of course I'm interested. Was she like that?" Gojyo pointed towards a young lady who was dragging a reluctant lover to the different stands of wares and food, giving him little chance to rest. "And were you her doglike follower?"

Hakkai laughed. "Thank goodness. No. She was always so sweet, never forcing me to do anything I didn't want to do. Except...except for that one time when I was sixteen. She played a joke and pushed me into the lake...with my school clothes on." The memory lit up like a firefly in his heart- a soft glow, warm and filling.

"Hyaaaa!!!!!!" A young girl popped out from the bushes and charged straight towards him.

"Wha-?!?!"

Before he knew it, he hit the glasslike surface of the lake and the sound of a girl's amused giggling rose above his ungraceful splashing.

In one corner of the marketplace, a group of teenage girls gathered and talked in excited whispers. Alert eyes searching out for crushes, they all let out a unified squeal when the target was acquired.

Next to him, he heard a soft snort. "Was she like one of those?"

Hakkai scrunched up his nose. "I could never imagine her to be like them. Anyway, she usually kept to herself. Though I must admit, not so self conscious about being ladylike or mature."

Meat buns. Shumai. Roasted duck. Fried Fish. Ice cream. Flavored ice. No Hakuryuu. Maybe he's not here after all.

"Aren't you a little too old to be playing pranks?" Gonou chided as he swam towards his childhood sweetheart.

"Seeing that look of shock on your face was sooooo worth being immature." The girl once again burst in a fit of laughter.

"Heh. I figured." concluded Gojyo as he reached in his pocket for his cigarette pack. "They're the types who kiss and tell; and kiss to tell. You wouldn't like it."

Dove. Puppy. Kitty. Puppy. Puppy. Viscous dog. Kitty. No flying dragon.

"Gonou, you should have more fun...be more impulsive..." Kanan tried to stifle another outburst as she knelt by water and leaned down to give him a quick kiss. Their lips grazed against each other in the most slightest of contact, but Gonou deepened it, grasped her wrist, and...

"Mmmphwha Gonou no baka!"

...pulled her in with him. Their laughter rose and graced that late spring afternoon.

"Then what do I like?"
"How the hell should I know?" Gojyo retorted before hearing Hakkai sigh.

"Nani?"

"Shall we head back home? Hakuryuu doesn't seem to be anywhere in the vicinity."

"We're already here, might as well stay."

Now aimlessly walking, they parted from the crowd and followed the small river that ran through the park until finding a resting spot. Unceremoniously, Gojyo sprawled across the cushiony green grass and laid an arm across his face to block out the harsh rays of the setting sun. Hakkai took a seat next to him and removed his monocle to tiredly rub his eyes.

Yes. Might as well stay. It was nice outside today anyway. No doubt, rain will fall soon this week and after that, all the blossoms will be gone. No use in wasting a beautiful sunset.

"My dress..." Kanan pouted.

"Impulsive enough?" he taunted playfully as he pulled her closer to steal another kiss.

Yes, this was Kanan. His Kanan. Hakkai remembered now. But on that one night, his trauma distorted her goodness and beauty. She transformed before his eyes into a vengeful, haunting memory. The notion now seemed of sick taste. Cho Gonou turned into Cho Hakkai - his own enemy using her image as a self destructive weapon to keep reopening the wound that should have healed a long time ago.

"We're happy, right Gonou?"

"Cold, soaking, and yes...happy."

It just wasn't right to keep using her like this, defiling her again and again, dishonoring the gentle creature who valued honor so much. How dare he keep her memory trapped in that viscous cycle of rape and suicide? What the hell had he done? He hated her for leaving him the way she did. He punished her the only way he knew how, pinning her spirit to his earthly misery like a butterfly denied her freedom.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

A watch? But Gojyo never carried a watch around. That sound...so familiar like an old lullaby...

"We're happy, right Gonou?"

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"Gojyo..."

"We're not alone anymore are we?"

"Hm?"

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"Kanan, I'm leaving for work now. Are you sure you don't want to come along? The kids would love to see you."

"Since when were you concerned with being on time?"

"There was nothing we could do."

"I'm not. I'm concerned with women, alcohol, gambling and cigarettes. Just like you said..."

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"If we had resisted, we'd all have been killed too."

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"Let's go home, Kanan..."

"Then what's-"

"I can't Gonou...It's too late. That loathsome monster's child is already inside my belly."

"Ah, I pretty damn well forgot about it ever since you started worrying about that flying rat."
"What are you taking about?"

"So...goodbye, Gonou."

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

"This. I kinda stole it from your night stand. " said Gojyo, taking out a gold pocket watch from his pocket and tossing it into Hakkai's hands. "Never understood why you haven't got it fixed yet. Must've been a present from her, I'd wager. So I figured, what's the point in having a watch that's stuck on one point of time?"

"Gojyo..."

"Sorry I took a super long time to buy food, but I had to get that damn thing to a mechanic friend of mine. Replaced the cracked glass too."

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock...

Every beat whispered her name. Kanan. Kanan. Kanan. Kanan. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. And sinner. Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. But with every tick, with every tock, the pain started to ebb. The pangs of loneliness and anguish started to lose their sharp edge because he too started to part from that agonizing replayed moment.

"Hell is a lot more proletarian than I expected."

Had he been so selfish? Not only in seeking revenge, but in turning his tragedy into a barrier between him and the outside world? Not just that, a barrier between him and the one who had saved him. Gojyo never asked for anything, always gave and gave without thinking much of it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Well pardon me for being proletarian."

What had Hakkai given the crimson haired man, whose locks and eyes reminded him not of the sunset, but of the blood he had shed? Gojyo had his own past to deal with, yet he took on the weight of Hakkai's in stride and still asked for nothing.

"I'm very grateful to you for rescuing me."

What was this unending generosity? What good had he ever done for this man to deserve it? On that one fateful night where he had prepared to die, only Gojyo was the one who had wanted him to live, protecting him without question for reasons neither could grasp.

"I promised her that I'd always protect her."

He risked his life for a stranger, a murderer, a sinner...and even now, he still asked for nothing.

"That doesn't mean that you didn't love her enough."

And Hakkai gave nothing, could give nothing, and could only keep giving nothing because aside from himself, Gojyo was all he had.

"The crimson staining my hands is the only thing that binds me here to reality..."

The emerald gaze lifted towards the sunset as Hakkai laid down and felt the gently wafting breeze upon the skin of his face. Ominous dark clouds formed on the horizon and the distant rumbling of thunder shook the air. It was going to rain again. Tonight. Like that night seemingly so long ago. The night that he had wanted to die. The night that Cho Gonou perished and Cho Hakkai was born.

Gonou belonged to his Kanan, now and forever. May they rest in peace.

"Arigatou gozaimasu." said Hakkai softly as he turned the watch over in his hands and held it over him towards the sky. "You've been too good to me, Gojyo, but I feel ashamed of myself knowing that you were never rewarded for any effort you have taken on my behalf."

"What's so important about rewards? When you die, you lose it all anyway."

"But-" Hakkai turned over on his side to glimpse at the crimson eyed card shark who was gazing dreamily towards the heavens, chest rising and falling in relaxed rhythm, hair the color of the sunset splayed over his shoulders and the grass.

"Not that you've been bad company." the other said as his eyes shifted their attention to the young, emerald eyed teacher at his side.

One thoughtful moment passed where their eyes met in the dimming light of the afternoon and each man surveyed the other carefully. "Gojyo-"

"What?!" he snapped good naturedly as the other's voice broke through his attempts at dozing.

"Forgive me for assuming, but you wish something of me, although you know I'm empty handed."

"Hai. There is something I want, now that you ask."

"What might that be?"

Gojyo's eyes returned to face the brilliant sunset and he replied softly, "Hakkai. Cho Hakkai. Or am I being a greedy bastard?"

"Iie. Not at all." he replied, inching closer until he was able to effortlessly reach over and entwine a lock of Gojyo's hair between his fingers. Now the only thing binding him to reality was a different crimson...one whose sight he welcomed day after day, sunset after sunset. "That's me."

"Say whatever the hell you want about yourself. Doesn't change anything." he replied cooly, almost being lulled to sleep by Hakkai's distant touch. There was no point in rushing anything. They had nothing else, no one else, and forever to see things through.

***
True to Hakkai's belief, Hakuryuu did return home that night, but to his dismay found the small house empty of its habitants.

"Kyuuuu..."

He had gone to the festival, but then remembered of his master's reluctance to carry him around in public and had stayed hidden until no one was the wiser to look in a particular spot where some food had been left unattended. Needless to say, there were a good amount of unexplained disappearances of cooked duck, and marinated chicken. The happy little dragon got his feast, but the absence of his master made him less content despite a nicely full stomach.

Was he looking for him?

"Kyuuuu..."

Resolute, he decided to go look for Hakkai. The increasing humidity and the booming rumble of the clouds heightened his restlessness. Hakkai-sama never liked the rain. It made him sad. And if Hakkai-sama was sad. Hakuryuu was sad. Simple as that.

Back to the park.

Empty.

Flying to maximum altitude, he surveyed the area and found next to the river two shadows, quiet and still.

"Kyuuuuuuu!!!!"

The alchemy forged dragon dove down at kamikaze speed until his eyes fell upon a foggy green light, trademark of his master's power. He slowed down upon seeing Hakkai's tranquil smile and landed on the man's shoulder.

"You must have had quite an adventure today," Hakkai whispered. "Did you get your meal?"

"Kyuuu..." Was the guilty whimper.

"There, there." his master cooed as he took Hakuryuu into his lap and stroked the dragon's scaly back. "No harm done now."

As the towering clouds were moved by strong winds, shining rays of moonlight escaped and illuminated the river. Hakkai sat and contemplated his own reflection. How changed he was. A little less innocent. A little less sheltered. A little more weary. A little more withdrawn with only one good eye to upon the tumultuous world.

Your eyes Gonou...so much like shining emeralds...

"Dull jade..." Hakkai corrected his memory pointedly before looking back at Gojyo who had fallen into a light slumber by his side. "But it's worth just enough."