This came to me when thinking of hard times I've been through. This is for all of you out there struggling. Just some Big bro Dean comforting his Sammy.
Sam- 16
Dean- 20
Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing.
XxXxX
Sam felt as if he was barely here.
Early morning rain pitter pattered on the window and he lay staring at the ceiling. His brother slept soundly in the bed next to him yet he still felt alone.
Town after town, school after school. Sam had no one but his dad and brother. Its just not fair.
Sam brushes a stray tear from his face and turns to face the wall. His childhood was stolen from him and it just wasn't fair. Its not fair.
Dean accepted this estranged life style and enjoyed the killing and always being the new kid. Sometimes he wished he had Deans mindset. To be carefree and obedient to their father.
Sams throat betrayed him as a pained sob rips out of his throat and he puts a hand over his mouth. Anything to keep his brother asleep.
He lay there alone and cried for an hour.
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Sam walked through the halls of his school and stared at his shoes. He felt the eyes of the students and could almost hear their thoughts.
He quickly goes into a bathroom and locks himself in a stall and takes a deep breath.
No way was he gonna be the new kid and the kid who cried at school. Winchesters weren't wimps and he had to suck it up.
He hears the bell ring and he pulls himself together and heads to first period. God, I'm a girl.XxXxX
When Sam gets home he is not surprised to find his brother and his dad there. His dad must have found a hunt and would leave him for days.
Sam walks into the motel room and puts his bag down. He ignores his brothers greeting and lays on the bed staring at the wall.
If Sam was being honest he felt trapped in this life. Its not fair.
He could have fallen asleep if it wasn't for his dad shaking his leg and startling him.
"Sammy. Get up. You need to do some training to keep you in fighting strength." Sam inwardly groans at his fathers words but slowly obeys. Not like he had a choice.
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Late that night when he knew his brother was asleep, he goes into the small bathroom and opens the first aid.
They kept a sturdy supply of different strength meds and Sam silently thanked for that. He picks up the strongest pills and studies the bottle, teary eye'd.
A million thoughts raced through his head and he felt alone. He didn't want to hurt anybody. He just didn't want to feel sad.
He twists open the bottle and dumps them in his hand.
He stares at them as if rare shining diamonds. At this moment, he realised he held his life in his own hands. It felt good to be in control.
He plopped them in his mouth and swallowed them down. The strong dose made his world move slower. He sat back against the wall and blinked, trying to clear the stars from his vision.
The last thing he is aware of is a voice. He loved that voice.
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The next thing Sam feels is his body gagging and he chokes and spits out stomach acid.
He was soaking wet in the bathtub and he didnt know why.
Then he felt the arms and the voice was back. Everything came crashing to reality and Sam let himself cry in those arms.
He felt safe and after his cowardly act he felt it was not deserved. Soft lips press to his temple and he pushes himself further into the arms scared and angry at himself.
It was okay now. His brother was here and they would work it out. Life may not be fair for Sam Winchester but at least he has his Dean with him.
"Its Okay, Sammy. I got you now."
XxXxX
I hope this warms your heart. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In this fandom we are a family and I love all of you. Peace and Chicken Grease.
