It was another normal day in the town of Quahog, Rhode Island. Today was like every other. Peter was still at work, Lois was preparing dinner, Stewie was watching a video tape of "Schoolhouse Rock" and Chris had just arrived home.
"Hey Chris." Brian greeted as Chris walked through the front door. Brian noticed that Chris seemed alot more lively today, his eyes wide open and filled with energy.
"Hey Brian! Did you hear about Meg?" Chris asked. Brian looked at the teenager confusingly.
"What? Meg? What about her?" Brian asked.
"Meg's having her period!" Chris laughed, with a yell audible enough to be heard through the whole house. Stewie suddenly turned his attention to the conversation.
"Really? Aw, gross!" Stewie laughed. Brian felt otherwise.
"Wait, what? Chris, why are you going around telling people this?" Brian asked, actually sounding concerned.
"Because it's cool! Like that time we were in Busch Gardens."
...
A tall, hunky man walks over to Chris while in line for a ride.
"I just shit on the ground over there, and no one cared..." The man whispered.
Chris hesitated for a moment, and then laughed.
"Ha ha...Ruining clean amusement parks."
...
All of the sudden, Meg ran through, obviously sobbing like mad.
"Wow, she actually looked upset." Stewie remarked. Brian's expression suddenly softened.
"My god, is anyone here capable of caring?" Brian asked with an angry tone.
"Speak for yourself. We all act like assholes sometimes. Most of the time, there's people who just act like assholes more than often, like Dick Cheney." Stewie answered. Brian still kept his softened face.
"I think I should go talk to her..." Brian said after a slow pause. Brian headed near the stairs, when Lois suddenly walked down.
"Ya know Brian, you really shouldn't get into other people's business. Sometimes people need to sort out their own issues. Like when Iraq got sick of Saddam."
...
Saddam Huessein is sitting in his office, when he opens the curtains and sees a group of Iraqian protesters outside.
"...Crap."
Saddam picks up a small 1980s styled phone and dials a number.
"Hey? General? Go start war. Make me big war hero."
...
"Yeah, but I know how it feels to be teased constantly in school. I mean, I went through it millions of times..." Brian was cut off by Lois, who now seemed annoyed.
"For God's sake Brian, the idiots at Brown told you to go home once and you just left. You're such a freakin' show off..." Lois droned as she walked away. Brian didn't seem phased, and continued up the stairs to Meg's room. All that was coming out of the room was constant sobbing, as Brian expected.
...
Back downstairs, Stewie and Chris had completely forgot about the situation, and were busy watching TV.
"I don't know why everybody dismisses this show to be about 3 kids with the same name hitting each other on the head. This show is actually real deep!" Stewie commented. The two were watching Ed, Edd, n Eddy: The Lost Cases. The three Eds (Who are shown as poorly drawn characters) are in front of a hole, with Sarah inside of it.
"I thought you said you were going to bury the bitch!" Eddy yelled.
"Me? Why am I always the one blamed? And why's this carpet blue and have dirt on it? Nag nag nag nag nag!" Edd nagged.
"That's no bitch, that's my sister!" Ed laughed. All of the sudden, Kevin walks over, only he's covered in pig's blood.
"You dorks are busted once the kids find out what you did to Sarah and me!"
"Just shut up Kevin. I pray to God, shut up. You've been on our backs since Pre-K, jeez. You have a life besides riding a bike, calling us dorks and trying to get into Nazz's pants?" Eddy asked.
"Hey Stewie, you ever hear the myth about Bigfoot?" Chris asked. Stewie was suddenly confused at the mention of "Big-foot".
"Bigfoot? A man with a big foot? That sounds incredibly stupid." Stewie remarked. Chris laughed, and then changed the channel to "History", which coincidentally was showing a documentary about Bigfoot. Stewie suddenly was confused by the hairy figure.
"My God, it looks like the aftermath of what would happen if a trucker's pubic hair grew all over him!" Stewie gasped with horror. The thing was, he couldn't look away. It was so strange-looking that Stewie NEEDED to see this thing up close.
"Very well, Chris. I want to see this...Big foot." Stewie grinned evilly.
...
Brian slowly creaked Meg's bedroom door open, and was promptly hit in the face with a picture frame. Brian slowly got up again, only about an inch from toppling down the stairs, and walked back to the door.
"Meg?" Brian called from outside. "Meg, can we talk?"
"Go away!" Meg screamed. Brian didn't hesitate in opening the door again.
"I'm on your side here. I want to help." Brian said, trying to sound compassionate.
"I never want to see my family again! I hate you all!" Meg yelled back. Brian then gave up on trying. It seemed that she was definite on not wanting to see anyone.
"You sure?"
"GO AWAY!"
...
In the kitchen, Stewie and Chris were preparing to head out into the woods. They had tons of cans of food packed, a few bags that held medicines and creams, a tent, a few fishing poles, a small, portable TV and five tapes that read 'How to Catch a Bigfoot: By Christopher Walken'.
"Okay, we have everything packed, right?" Stewie asked with an excited tone.
"Yeah! Now let's go catch a Bigfoot!" Chris exclaimed. As the two cheered, Peter walked in from work.
"Hey kids. You guys going to catch a Bigfoot I hear." Peter asked.
"Hell yeah! I'm more exhilerated than the time I was about to see Indiana Jones 4!" Stewie cheered.
...
Stewie is in a movie theater, about to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I can't believe I'm seeing Indiana Jones 4!...I hope it doesn't suck..."
...
"Well okay. Just be sure to come back to the house by 9. Remember what happened the last time I misplaced one of you kids." Peter muttered.
...
Peter is sitting on the couch, while a thumping sound is coming from a closet nearby. Lois walks into the room with a confused expression.
"Peter, do you know where Meg is?" Lois asks. Peter slowly glances around nervously, then has a worried expression on his face.
"Um...Will you be mad if I say I locked her in the closet?" Peter asks.
"Yes, I will Peter." Lois groans with an angry expression now on her face.
"Ah, then she is not locked in the closet." Peter replies. Lois walks over to the closet and opens it, and Meg then topples out of the closet.
...
Just as Chris and Stewie are about to walk out the door, Peter stops the two.
"Wait, there's one thing I need to give to you Chris..." Peter said with seriousness in his voice. Peter slowly walked over to a piece of carpet, then tore it off to reveal a gun.
"Woah, what is it?" Chris asked as Peter slowly handed him the large rifle.
"It's an official Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Rangle Model air rifle. I got it for Christmas when I was a kid." Peter said with clear happiness in his voice. Chris examined it closely and laughed in cheer.
"Thanks Dad!" Chris cheered.
"Don't mention it Chris. Just don't shoot your eye out."
...
Peter is outside with the rifle in a snow-filled backyard.
"Alright Black Bart, now it's time to get yours!" Peter exclaims. Peter fires the gun, and it bounces off the piece of metal he fires at, and hits him in the face.
...
A few hours later, a knock went off at the door. Lois walked over and opened the door, to reveal a boy about Chris' age. His hair was a faded brown color, and he was wearing fairly old-fashioned clothing.
"Who is it Lois?" Peter called from the kitchen. Lois ignored Peter and turned her attention back to the kid at the door.
"Hello...Whatever your name is! Are you one of Chris' friends? If so, he went out with his cousin to go hunt bears or something." Lois explained. The kid laughed with a low, scratchy voice.
"No actually, Misses Griffin. I'm here for Meg." The boy explained. Lois looked at the kid with absolute amazement, and then began laughing hysterically. After about 5 minutes, Lois finally was able to speak...Only now between hysterical laughing.
"Did...Did ya hear that honey?" Lois yelled from the front door with a laugh. The kid at the front door could hear Peter laughing in the kitchen as well.
"I know, know!"
The strange boy at the door smirked, and then snapped his fingers. In a flash of light, everything suddenly froze in front of him.
"I don't play games, Griffins. That's not my style." The boy laughed. The guy with the strange clothing and strange attitude walked up the long flight of stairs with a strange sense that he'd been here before. The man shook the feeling off, reasoning he was just being an idiot.
The boy slowly lifted his ear to the door of Meg's room, and listened in on the constant crying. The look on his face turned to a saddened look.
"Man, it's worse than the big guy said." He stated to himself. The stranger slowly poked the door open, and peeked his head in.
"Ello little lady." The guy laughed with content. A piece of glass suddenly flew at him, but instead it missed by a wide margin.
"Who the hell are you?" Meg asked between sobs. The kid laughed, and then fully went inside.
"Why little lady, I'm Travis Nixon III. I came because I heard you needed some help with some of your problems lately." The kid explained. Meg suddenly felt unsecure. Almost as if this guy was the same person you'd see dressed as a clown in the Bronx.
"Mom, Dad! There's a pedophile in my room!" Meg screamed as she tried opening up her window.
"I ain't no pedophile, I assure you that, Meg." Travis laughed with a suddenly British-sounding accent. Meg stopped clawing at her window, and stared at Travis with a puzzled expression.
"Wait...How do you know my name?" Meg asked. Travis shook his head with a smile and then laughed a bit.
"I know many things about you Meg, my dear. Ya see, I'm your guardian angel!" Travis exclaimed. Meg screamed in response, to which Travis smiled in content.
"It MAY come as a shock, but I assure you, I came here to help with your recent problem." Travis assured, suddenly pulling out a smoking pipe. It was obvious this guy was a stereotypical Britian.
"How the hell will you help me? My life is ruined! I wish I was never born!" Meg yelled. Travis tsked is disappointment, knowing she was completely wrong.
"Oh Meg, if only you knew how wrong you are." Travis sighed. Meg's eyes suddenly showed a particular hatred. It was amazing, but Travis was actually hated by this girl who he'd been appointed to since she was first born.
Ahh, that was the day he had learned everything. It was almost never to be, if not for Dr. Sinci Madison, or the "One-Armed Abortionist".
It was the day Travis Nixon III was appointed to a wonderful baby girl, who was about to bring on all her thoughts and love to the world. A new soul to bring upon the wonderful world he'd observed for the many, MANY years before. It felt like he was watching the world evolving. A miracle of nature.
"Meg, I've known you since you were a baby. I know for a fact that you play a huge role in not only the world, but your family in general. Why, without pure luck, you never would've been born!"
Meg was obviously not phased by this, and seemed angrier with Travis than before.
"You want to help? Here's how you can help, dumbass. I wish I was never born!" Meg exclaimed. Travis glanced around with an unsure feeling, and then smiled sheepishly.
"Okay..."
All of the sudden, Meg's room materialized to a ghastly white color, and everything around Meg suddenly melted away to reveal complete darkness...
...
Meanwhile in the woods, Stewie and Chris were busy trudging through the vastly leaf-covered floor of the dense forest.
"When do we find this Bigfoot, Chris?" Stewie asked, who was obviously beginning to sound annoyed.
"Well, the videos say that we need to look in the real deep parts of the woods..." Chris responded. Stewie groaned.
"Oh please, how trustworthy is Christopher Walken? Ever since he was in "Country Bears" we can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth!" Stewie yelled. Chris looked at Stewie with a scared expression.
"You mean...Hollywood superstars lied to me? WAHH! I WANT A FOURTH JURASSIC PARK!" Chris whined.
"Well, this isn't the first time a fandom ruined something..." Stewie groaned.
"Invader Zim...I'll leave it at that..."
...
A/N: Sorry if this seems short...I just wanted to get Chapter 1 out.
REVIEWS HELP, THANKS
