I know that the people following me are about to start throwing rocks, so hear me out! I have started on the new chapter of You Saved Me, but then this one shot got stuck in my head and wouldn't let me continue working on the chapter until it came out. But this is only a ONESHOT. I do have an idea for a Harry Potter fanfic, along with two Outsiders fanfics, but I'm not going to start those until I have finished one of my two fanfics currently in progress.
On with the fanfic!
"I only came out here because Mary said you were going to stay out here all night" said Lily, crossing her arms.
"I'm sorry!" blurted out Severus. "I didn't mean to call you that, it just-"
"Slipped out?" cut in Lily, eyes hard. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends... You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."
"What?!" Severus looked shocked and slightly hurt. Making excuses? Death Eater? Yes, he is interested in becoming a Death Eater but he hasn't officially decided if that is what he wanted to do, yet.
Lily felt her eyes start to soften at the look on her bes-former best-friend's face. However, she held firm with all she had; she gave him all the chances she could give. What happened today was a sign she could not ignore anymore, no matter how much she has been denying it.
"You call everyone else like me that name; what makes me any different?" Severus got a hesitant look at the question, but did not answer.
"That's what I thought." Said Lily, with a feeling of defeat. Turning her back on her now former friend to head back into the dormitory; Lily spoke over her shoulder without looking back at him. "I can't do this anymore. This is goodbye, Severus."
When his childhood friend just cut him out of her life just like that, something just snapped inside of him. It seemed like all thoughts and feelings he kept to himself about their friendship just came forth with a vengeance. He definitely felt hurt but there was also anger and indignation at Lily's act like she was a complete victim in all this; he couldn't keep his mouth shut.
"Fine." Spat out Severus, his expression now venomous. "It's not like you have been a great friend to me lately."
This stopped Lily cold, a look of disbelief on her face. She swiftly turned back to face him with an expression now mixed with anger and disbelief. Did he really just say that to her?!
"What?!" growled Lily. "I have been a great friend to you!" How dare he tell her she was a terrible friend! She stood up for him, always looked out for him, and only wanted what is best for him. How did that make her a bad friend? He must be saying this because he is angry and doesn't want to accept full responsibility.
"Really? Then answer me this." Snapped Severus, feeling even more indignant at her claim. "What kind of best friend smiles at me being hung upside down with my underwear showing to everyone?"
It was clear by the expression on Lily's face that whatever she was expecting him to say, it certainly wasn't that. It was also obvious that she had no answer to that accusation, but he was not done.
"What kind of best friend calls me Snivellus, then just leaves me at the mercy of my bullies?" This caused Lily to gain her bearings and snap back.
"I was defending you!" yelled Lily. "I was trying to help you and what I got in return was you calling me that horrible name!"
"Yes, I called you that name," agreed Snape with a sense of guilt, but not letting her continue to believe that he was the only one at fault. "and I regret it but that is not an excuse to just leave me like that!"
Then another thing occurred to him.
"How is yelling at them to leave me alone defending me?" asked Snape in a much calmer voice. "They have been doing things like this for years. You should have come with a hex on your lips by now."
"What good would that do?" questioned Lily. "That would make me no better than them if I just hexed them without warning."
"You could have disarmed them!" protested Severus. "That way they wouldn't be able to hex me further!"
"Fine!" admitted Lily, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation and defeat. "You have a point! Okay?! I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment."
It was true. Looking back to it she can now think of ways she could have handled it better. Things she should have done instead, but she was too riled up at the time to think rationally. Still, his first statement bothered her.
"How does this one instance make me a bad friend?" asked Lily, with a hint of curiosity. "Yes, I should have done things differently down by the lake, but you did still call me that word."
"That's the thing, this isn't just about earlier." Said Severus, bristling with anger and shame at his mistake being pointed out again. "Even before this you never tried to see things from my point of view and just made demands of me."
"That's not true!" denied Lily, voice raising once again.
"Yes, it is!" argued Severus, raising his voice too. "For a while now, if you did not like what I was doing you would just tell me I should stop without even asking what I think."
"That's because you are hanging around those horrible Death Eater wannabes and studying Dark Magic!"
"My friends are not ideal." Admitted Severus reluctantly. "Not like I can be picky with who is my friend." Lily got a confused look at that, but he did not elaborate. "We were fine in our early years, but as the years passed in Hogwarts you started to believe the Gryffindor stereotypical beliefs."
Lily opened her mouth to protest but Severus cut her off.
"Don't deny it. You're belief that Dark Magic makes you an evil wizard proves this." Stated Severus. "It also shows when you accuse my friends of being horrible and evil but have the audacity to defend the Marauders to me. Me!"
"Because they don't do dark magic."
"There it is!" accused Severus, angrily. "A bully is still a bully! Whether or not they do Dark magic!" He lowered his head to look at the floor.
There were a few seconds of silence until it was broken.
"You used to know this. Then you started taking your Gryffindor friend's words to heart" Whispered Severus with sadness. "I'm not guiltless, I should have never called you that. It shouldn't even be at the tip of my tongue like that." He looked up and his voice raised to normal volume. "Still, at least I admit my guilt even though what I said was out of anger and humiliation."
Severus took in Lily's pale, bordering on shivering form. It was obvious in her eyes that she is thinking over what he just said, which does fill him with a sort of happiness that she actually listened instead of brushing him off. He said all he wanted to say in this matter and he felt drained of all the anger he had.
"I will understand if you want to stop being friends with me." Said Severus with a sigh, pushing down his pain. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. However, I am not going to have you walk away believing that you were an innocent victim in all this."
With that Severus Snape turned and walked down the staircase, away from Lily Evans, who stood still for a few moments before hurrying back into her common room, up to her dormitory and into her bed; all the while ignoring the questions asked from her house members.
Before anyone accuses me of anything, this is NOT a bashing, and I tried not to make it seem like it. I don't hate Lily. She obviously loved Harry unconditionally and willing to die for him, I'm sure she was a loving wife to James, and a caring and understanding friend to Remus. I also believe she was kind-hearted to everyone she meets. However, thinking about Snape's Worst Memory and re-reading both that chapter and the flashback chapter, you cannot convince me Lily was a great friend to Severus.
I had Severus Snape tell all the reasons I think that. I tried not to make Snape completely innocent either. However, I can't picture Snape deciding in 5th year that he was going to become a Death eater, especially with Lily being so vocal against it. I even read on Harry Potter Wiki that he joined the Death Eaters to win back her affection. The amazing thing is that no one in the book comments on how Lily actually fought back a smile, which I guess is because the Marauders actions and Snape's overshadows it. But even fanfiction authors forget about this, out of all the fanfiction I have read revolving around Lily and Severus I can count on one hand, maybe a little bit on two, the number of fanfics that even bring up the fact that she almost smiled. It actually has somewhat become a pet peeve.
