3BFFs doesn't own The Pasta Stalkers, Jeff the Killer, or Jane the Killer. The title (Candlelight Hate Date) is a fan saying related to the caliginous quadrant of trolls in Homestuck, but you don't need to know anything about Homestuck to understand this fan fiction.


There he was. J the Stalker could see Jeff the Killer through the tall shrubs she was hiding in. She kicked her right foot into the chest of the stalker she was sitting on the shoulders of. "J-Wow, you need to lift me higher up!" She whispered. "I can barely see him!"

J-Wow sighed in exasperation. "I'm lifting you as high up as I can. If you want to change your vantage point to anything higher, I'd have to throw you into a tree."

"Shut up! I see him now!" J said, crossing her calves over J-Wow's face to quiet him. The imbalance caused J-Wow to trip over a root which was behind him and fall on his back, sending J flying onto the ground behind him.

"I don't care about that idiot. Where's Jane?"

J rubbed the back of her head and adjusted her hair band. "I don't know. I was too busy FALLING."

"It's not my fault! Why do you always blame me for your mistakes?"

"Well, because it's not my fault?" J the Stalker smirked.

"Are you two going to make out now or not?" A voice asked from behind the tall shrubs. Jane poked her head through. "You seriously sound like a bickering old couple."

J blushed and looked away from J-Wow, blushing.

"Hey, baby," J-Wow said to Jane, pointing his fingers like dual pistols, his teeth sparkling.

"No," the Creepy Pastonian replied, pulling her head back through the bushes.

"Aw come on!" J-Wow shouted. He turned to J. "Now what?"

However, J was nowhere to be found, as she had run away when J-Wow had his back turned. Her bangs covered her eyes, which were red from tears. Even though her heart belonged to Jeff, she still had feelings for her rival stalker, who loved the woman set out on killing Jeff. It was a horrible circle filled mainly with hate and one sided love.

J stopped and turned. She had no idea where she was, as she just followed the sidewalk, not taking note of the direction. She had a bad feeling that she was in a bad neighborhood. Someone grabbed her around the waist.

"Hey baby. Where you goin'?" The smell of alcohol and cigarettes passed by her face. A hand moved across her fishnets on its way to her skirt. J struggled, and kicked her attacker in the shin. However, he refused to let her go.

"Let her go!" A familiar voice shouted, slightly panting. The attacker loosened his grip, and J took her chance to escape. She turned around and saw that her savior was…

"J-Wow," she whispered. J-Wow punched the attacker in the nose. Blood spurted from the point of impact, and the man ran away. J-Wow shook the blood off of his hand and walked up to J. He hugged her.

"You shouldn't have run off like that, J. I was worried."

J looked up at J-Wow. He looked back down at her. J took her chance. She pulled the boy's shoulders closer to her and kissed him. Once they parted, J-Wow looked blankly at her.

"We should go on our 'hate dates' more often."