Disclaimer: I own nothing. Set shortly after 'Joyride'. That's all you need to know.
Welcome Back Lance
"Hey guys," Tabitha said. "Look what dropped in on our doorstep!" She pointed to a very familiar face coming up the walkway of the Brotherhood house.
"Well look who's here," Pietro scoffed. "If it isn't Lance the X-Loser!"
"Shouldn't you be at a pep club rally or somethin?" Todd jeered.
"Or helping Kitty with her hair?" Tabitha snapped.
"Or…Or…" Fred struggled to find the appropriate insult. "Doing other X-Geek stuff?"
"Wow Freddy, you are really working on that razor sharp wit of yours," Pietro rolled his eyes.
"I decided to leave," Lance shrugged. "The X-men wasn't for me."
"I knew it!" Pietro crowed. "They kicked you out! I knew you wouldn't last a week in the X-Losers!"
"It probably has to do with all the times he lost his lunch in that simulator!" Todd smirked.
"How did you hear about that?" Lance grew pale.
"Over heard one of the X-Freaks at school talking about it," Todd snickered. "Hey, if you couldn't cut it, I guess that makes you an Ex-X-Loser! Which makes you a complete total loser!" The other members of the Brotherhood laughed at him.
"Okay Okay you win," Lance sighed. "I couldn't do it. I screwed up. I am a total loser, which means I am back where I belong! Are you happy now?"
"No," Fred said. "Now about that 'Wide Load' comment you made the other day…"
"Okay I'm sorry!" Lance apologized. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Can we just drop it now?"
"Not so fast Lance," Todd said. "You can't just dis us and walk away and then come back and forget like nothing's happened yo!"
"Yeah!" Fred said. "You broke the Code of the Brotherhood!"
"We have a code?" Tabitha asked.
"Well if we did there would definitely be something about going over to the X-Geeks I'll tell you that much!" Todd said.
"Guys I know I made a mess of things," Lance said. "But all I wanted was to be near Kitty. Ever since Mystique dumped us things have been getting worse. I thought it would be a quick fix solution. It wasn't. So can I please come home now?"
"I dunno," Pietro turned around. "We've had a lot of applicants for the vacant position. But we will be willing to give you an interview. Right this way please." Pietro motioned for Lance to come in.
"Okay," Pietro whisked himself into a business suit and carried a clipboard. "State your name and powers."
"You know my name," Lance gritted his teeth. "And my powers are turning jerks like you into rubble!"
"Hmm…Bad attitude, resentment towards authority…" Pietro scribbled.
"Well those are assets we are looking for," Todd said.
"I dunno guys," Fred said. "This guy may not be what we are looking for."
"I could train him," Todd said.
"Fine, Fine," Lance threw up his hands. "You want me to beg? Fine. I'll beg. Please, please, please, please take me back! What? You want me on my knees? Fine!" He did so. "Here I am! Happy? Will you guys please forgive me?"
"We-ell," Pietro looked slyly.
"I'll do the dishes and the laundry for a month," Lance said.
"A month?" Todd asked.
"Okay two months!" Lance said.
"And?" Pietro asked.
"And I'll drive you guys anywhere you want to go."
"Anywhere?" Todd asked. "Like the zoo?"
"Fine, no problem," Lance said.
"Well having our own personal chauffeur would be nice," Tabitha said. "What do you say guys?"
They all looked at each other and smiled. "Okay," Pietro said. "Welcome back to the Brotherhood Lance!"
"Yeah, guys no hard feelings?" Lance asked.
"Well I dunno," Fred turned away. He then turned back. "Aw I can't stay mad at you for long! Come here big guy!" He gave Lance a crushing bear hug.
"Freddy…stop…help…" Lance gasped. "My spine…"
"Hey Freddy take it easy will ya," Todd told him. "We need him in tip top shape if he's gonna drive us to the zoo tomorrow! I wanna visit my giraffe again!"
Lance gasped for breath when Fred released him. "Thanks guys," He gasped.
"Aw come on Lance," Tabitha said. "We may tease you a bit but we're your friends. Your real friends! We just wanted to stop you from making mistakes."
"And believe me," Todd said. "Joining the Geek Squad was a doozy!"
"I think I'll go to my room now," Lance sighed.
"Uh Lance," Fred said. "It's my room now. Actually I transformed it into a den. A place where I could do my thinking and play video games."
"You can sleep in the shower if you like," Tabitha joked.
"Oh Lance," Todd said. "As the new guy I am going to be your supervisor. Your first job is to do the laundry. Starting with my underwear!"
"You guys are gonna torture me for weeks about this aren't you?" Lance sighed.
"Weeks?" Todd said. "We're talking years pal!"
"Well at the very least I hope this has killed off that stupid Kitty fascination of yours once and for all!" Pietro said.
"Well now that you mention it," Lance said sheepishly. "Actually I think we've become closer than ever."
"What?" They all gasped.
"You know in a funny way this whole experience has been worth it!" Lance went on with a dreamy look in his eyes. "I thought that if I became an X-man too it would make Kitty like me better. But you know something; I didn't have to change for her! She likes me just as I am! She liked me for being myself. That's an important lesson."
"Oh great," Todd rolled his eyes. "Who turned on the Afterschool Special over here?"
"I didn't have to change myself to please some girl," Lance continued. "If someone really cares about you she'll like you for who you are! You don't have to change! And she likes me! She really, really likes me!"
"I think I am going to become violently ill," Tabitha said.
"Well it didn't take long for things to get back to normal did it?" Fred asked.
"Come on," Pietro sighed motioning to the others.
"Okay so it didn't work out with me living with the X-Men," Lance went on in his little dream world while the other members of the Brotherhood dragged him outside. "But I learned a lot of what Kitty's life is like. This experience has brought me to understand her a lot better. You should have seen how she took charge in the X-Jet! She didn't back down an inch! She's everything I could ever want in a girl! Beauty, brains, and she's as tough as nails! I knew she was great! But I just found out what a wonderful fantastic person she is! And I didn't tell you the best part of all! She kissed me! Kitty kissed me! She likes me for who I am! It doesn't matter if you're an X-Man or a Brotherhood member; all that matters is how you feel about each other! And that's something I'll never forget. You see guys…Guys?"
It took Lance a full minute to realize they had duct taped him to a tree. "Guys? Uh could you help me outta this? Please? Aw come on guys I said I was sorry! Okay! Let me outta here! I mean it! YOU JERKS LET ME GO RIGHT NOW!"
Silence. Lance puffed a piece of hair out of his face. "You know, I think that went a lot better than I thought it would. It's good to be home."
