Who am I?

I am lying in bed, listening to the sounds from the street below. The sounds of the city at night. Traffic and voices. I never thought that they would bring me comfort but they do. Still, I can't sleep. I've got too much on my mind. Tonight, I wonder who I am.

First I was the odd kid. The poor kid. The one who's mom made all of her clothes. The great rockstar's daughter. The girl who longed for a father she would never know.

I didn't have much but I had my mother. She loved me and I loved her. For some reason that was never enough for me. I wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be respected. I wanted to be somebody.

One day, I became that somebody. I was Alex Vause, international drug smuggler. Everyone knew who I was. I was the best. They all came to me. I had their respect.

I had it all. My life was a never ending party. Sex, drugs and rock&roll. It was dangerous and exhilarating. I had more money than I could spend in a life time, and believe me I tried! There was a new woman in my bed every night. People looked up to me. They wanted to be me. I was Alex Fucking Vause!

Then one day it was all over. I was no longer a person. I didn't have a name. I was a number in someone's computer. I was a prisoner, a nobody.

I had nothing to call my own. No friends, no possessions, no privacy. I worked in the laundry for 11 cents an hour. I worked ten hours a day folding clothes. A week's salary bought me a can of soda and a bar of soap. I dreamed of the day that I could finally have my freedom. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be a person again. I wanted my name back.

I roll to my side and prop my head on my hand. I stare at my lover's face. She smiles in her sleep and I wonder if she's dreaming about me. I brush her cheek gently as I move a strand of hair from her soft cheek and she smiles again.

I know who I am now. I am the child who longed for the one thing she would never have. I am the woman who had it all and the woman who had nothing.

I sigh and let my eyes close. I know who I am now. I am an odd child, a player and a prisoner. I am Parker's girlfriend. I am Alex Vause. And I am complete.