Going Under
He growled as he walked down the hallway, tears fresh in his eyes….another time…always the same lies. The same hurt. No more.
"Hiya Sora!"
Kairi's smile was not contangious, but when she saw the face of Sora, her heart dropped.
Sora glared darkly at his red-haired friend.
"sora…again?
"Shine* I hope he just dies."
She looked down, she knew what happened…this always happened. She watched Sora stalk into the boys room and heard a stall slam from outside. She turned to see Riku ….and couldn't repress her anger.
Riku walked down the hallway, his shoes squeaking on the tiled floors, an obliviously happy smile. She stormed over to him.
"Oh, hey Kairi."
She slapped him hard across the cheek, leaving a stunned Riku and a crowded hallway watching them.
"You…You..MAN WHORE!!!!! Was Sora just another toy to you!? Someone for you to play with like a marionette!?"
Kairi walked in the opposite direction. Riku sighed and walked to the bathroom that he saw Sora go into. He knew the situation.
Sora sat in the dirty stall, tears streaming down his round face. A few trickles of red blood running down his pale skin, and the dirtied blade sat at his feet. His upper arm was covered with wounds, injuries as old as he could remember, now looked like he had been run over with a lawn mower. Cut after cut, few bleeding.
Suddenly there was a knock on the bathroom stall. He looked up, and saw his bloody mess on the floor.
"Sora?"
It was riku.
"w…what?"
he managed to sniffle out.
"I'm sorry I hurt you…"
Sora looked down in disgust.
"Yeah right….."
"No….I'm really sorry…I didn't mean to…"
"Shut up…just shut up and go away….."
Now I will tell
you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming
deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
A deep sigh came from the boy on the other side, as he slowly left. Tears dripped down onto his fresh wounds and he winced. He buried his face in his hands as he broke down, his sobs shaking his small body.
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll
wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when
I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
Sora sat in the nurse's office, his arm being bandaged by Kairi. She let out a deep sigh as she finished up. She looked up at Sora, who was fiddling around with his gold switchblade.
"Sora…you promised..." "I know……." "Then why?" "Because…." "Sora….." He turned to look at his red headed friend, tears filling his eyes. She hugged him tightly. "Kairi…..I don't know how much more of this I can take…" "Just hold out for me….please…." "I'll try…."
I'm
going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've got to
break through, I'm going under
Kairi sighed, and the last bell rang. Flocks of students ran to their lockers, noise filling the halls, as everyone headed out of the large high-school. Sora stood up, concentrating on the feeling of his black clothes ruffling as he walked out the door, listening to his chains clinking against each other, and feeling his spiked wristbands and choker, which were made much more dull(Kairi's work of course).
He walked out solemnly, black hood over his face, into the blinding light of the outside world. He let out a sigh as the crowds of people starred at him, but he kept walking, his head low. He heard a few comments, ones that usually felt like a dagger piercing the skin. But their comments couldn't hurt him anymore…..he was numb.
Blurring
and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real
and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I
can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
He looked back as he felt a small hand on his shoulder. Kairi smiled one of her worried smiles at him.
"Don't worry Kairi…."
"Sora…."
"Do you want to come over?"
Kairi smiled.
"Sure…"
Sora gave the only smiles he had smiled in the past 3 years, the one that dripped with loneliness and yet happiness.
As they walked up the steps to Sora's house, Kairi looked on in amazement. She was always amazed at his house. It was an old house, covered in vines that snaked over everything, and it was much larger than the other houses in the area, something you would see in some weird horror. Bushes covered the grass in front of the iron gates, filled with deep red roses, which always made Kairi wince...the color of blood. He had at least 3 stories in his house, and what seemed to be endless rooms. Some of the top windows had stained glass. Around the back was a large swimming pool, and a forest as far as the eyes could see. Sora lived a mile away from the school, but his house was like a paradise.
They walked up the few wooden steps to get to the large oak door. As they both walked in from the heat outside, to be refreshed by a cool air that ran through the house.
The inside was like a castle. They walked across the marble floor, to the grand staircase. They ascended to the third floor, on the way passing his parents in their library, and after a short greeting, entered his room. It wasn't how you would expect. There were no bloody knives everywhere, or emo band posters, or dark creepy things everywhere. No…there were dark red and black curtains, black drapes over his bed, and his walls were a deep red color. But other than that, everything was neat; there was a large stereo by his bed, pictures on his wall of friends, and a few candles. Nothing was scary or creepy…Sora wasn't strange, just a little dark. He understood the darkness of the world, and that his darkness was balanced out completely by Kairi's light, or that is something Sora used to describe the 'natural balance' as he called it.
I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever
I've
got to break through, I'm going under
Sora plopped on his bed.
"Sora, you wanna talk about it?"
He grabbed a remote on his bed stand and put on some indie rock band.
"Not really…"
Kairi sat next to him, and laid a small hand on his arm.
"I am here for you, you know? Just tell me if you wanna talk."
"Well…Kairi…lately actually, I have been having this problem."
Kairi scooted back against the wall, he hands on her knees.
"Yeah?"
"Promise not to tell anyone?"
"Promise."
"I have been…seeing things lately…at night. I keep seeing Riku at the edge of my bed…yelling at me…I don't know what to do. He seemed so real. I told Riku…but he called me crazy and said we should 'see other people', which is the reason for today…I'm sorry about that Kairi…"
"Don't worry…but that is weird, maybe you're just stressed out."
Sora sighed.
"Kairi will you spend the night?"
"Sure."
Sora smiled, a truly grateful smile.
Later that night
Sora lay on his bed, Kairi curled up on a blow up mattress next to him, soundly sleeping. Sora stared at the end of his bed, waiting. His alarm flashed twelve, and on time, riku came.
"Hello Sora…Been lonely without me?"
"Only a little…Why do you come?"
Riku crawled onto the bed and rest himself on Sora's hips, and the pressure was real.
"To see you of course."
"Why me?"
"You need me."
Riku leaned down and began kissing at Sora's neck and all Sora could do was freeze.
So go on and scream
Scream at me, I'm so far away
I won't
be broken again
I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under
He shoved Riku off quickly.
"LEAVE ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Kairi bolted up and ran to him, grabbing his shoulders.
"Sora, relax it's a dream, no one is here."
But he was, Riku WAS…and he was laughing there at the end of the bed.
"Don't laugh at me you son of a bitch! Do you have any idea what you do to me? Do you even care about me?"
"Sora, Sora, I care about you…listen to me. No one is laughing at you."
Sora reached up and grabbed at Riku, his hands clutching his neck, but the screaming in his ears wasn't Riku's. He came back into realization as Riku disappeared, replaced by Kairi. He jumped back, in time to see her fall to the floor and see his mother scream in the doorway, the phone in his father's hand.
Tears streamed down his face.
"I'm so sorry Kairi."
I'm dying again, I'm going under
Drowning in you, I'm
falling forever
I've got to break through, I'm going under
Going
under, I'm going under
Shine(shin as in your shin and e as in a short E sounding like an A almost) is the Japanese term for "die"
