Story: Everyone is human. The Senior play has been chosen and it's Romeo and Juliet. Buffy gets cast as the lead and so does her love interest Angel Connors. Unfortunately Angel gets knocked out for the count and his replacement is… Spike.
Chapter One
Sunnydale was covered with light as the mid afternoon sunshine leered in the sky. Xander, Buffy, Willow and Oz were walking through the school parking lot to Oz's not so trendy van.
"I can't believe it. It's unbelievable. The believing is un."
"The believing is un?" Xander asked his overly excited friend.
"Unbelievable. It's un."
"That's really great Buffy. I'm happy you got the lead," Willow supported, leaning against her boyfriend Oz's shoulder.
"I know and especially when all I wanted was a not extremely tiny part. And me, Buffy, was chosen as Juliet. And Cordelia, Miss Queen of the Universe, wasn't."
"She is playing your mom though."
"Way to be the downer Xander," Buffy accused. "Or should I say Mercutio."
"I'm not being a downer, I'm just looking out for your well being. Cordelia may sneak up behind you one day during practice, spit an alien into your face that'll burst through your chest and kill you, setting loose another alien life form that could attack anyone. And I have this thing with aliens bursting through my chest. It's called fear of death."
"It's nice to see you aren't being dramatic," Oz stated as he opened the passenger door for Willow. She gave him a smile and kiss as payment.
Xander swung open the side door and stepped in, cutting Buffy off. She looked at him with a shocked face. He looked up and took notice. "What?" Buffy just stood there with her hip out to the left and eyes going from the door to Xander. "Did you want something?"
Buffy sighed and got in. "It's all right Xander, I guess chivalry as far as you're concerned is dead."
"What'd I do?"
Oz pulled up in front of the Summers household and Buffy bolted from the backseat. Without shutting the door she ran into her home and to the kitchen. "Mom guess what?"
Joyce was in the middle of eating her chicken sandwich and was quite taken off guard. She quickly wiped her mouth with her napkin and asked, "What is it sweetie?"
"Today was try outs for the Senior play which is Romeo and Juliet."
"And you got a part," Joyce finished with a smile.
"No. I got the part. I am Juliet. The only thing better is Romeo and that's just because his name comes first in the title."
"That's wonderful." Joyce gave her daughter a big hug. "I'm so proud of you. Congratulations."
"And what's even better is that Angel Connors is playing Romeo."
"Who's Angel Connors?"
"Only the hunkiest hunk of hunkdom there is at Sunnydale high."
"And again with the congrats," her mother said. "So when does this play open? I want to star and circle the date on my calendar." She walked over to her sandwich and took another bite.
"I don't know. Mom, I got the lead, there was no way I was going to hear anything after that."
"So as long as you got the part, people seeing you isn't a big deal."
"When did you adopt my sarcasm?"
"I learn from the best. Oh, when are rehearsals? I want to know when I need to have the car," Joyce said with a smile.
"Ha ha. Someone slip some hilarious pills in your coffee this morning."
"I'm just naturally hilarious." They shared a slight chuckle. "Did anyone else try out for the play?"
"Well Willow and Oz aren't the acting type. She's assistant to the main operator person and Oz is helping to build sets. Oooo, Xander got the part of Mercutio."
"Good for him."
"Miss Annoying is my mom though. That kinda sucks, but the fact that Angel is Romeo so keeps the scales in my favor."
"That's great Buffy. I'm glad you're getting involved with more school activities. It is your senior year."
"And I'm one of the stars of the play. Nothing can go wrong. I'm on Cloud Nine and there's nothing but sunshine."
The next day, at three o'clock, students streamed into the school auditorium for the first day of rehearsal. Mr. Giles was waiting patiently on the stage for everyone to stop fumbling over seats and gabbing about their days. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don't know, I am Mr. Giles and I am the head coordinator of this production of Romeo and Juliet. I will start off by forewarning you that the play we will be performing is not the Shakespeare version that you may or may not have become accustom to. We thought we'd take it easy on you and not give you as many lines to remember." Everyone just stared at him. "I was actually expecting some 'yea's or 'whoo's."
"Whoo!" some random kid yelled from the back.
"Thank you." He cleared his throat and adjusted his average frames. "Also, my assistant will be Miss Willow Rosenburg. Willow?" Giles said, motioning for her to stand.
Willow's eyes widened in horror as she slowly rose from the itchy seat. Everyone looked at her as she stood like she was on display. She counted to three and dropped back into her chair.
"Now, I have the scripts lying right here so if you will all please form an orderly line, I will hand them to you one by one." Everyone stood from their seats and bombarded the stage. The scripts were ripped from Giles's hand as if they were winning lottery tickets. Once each of the student's hands contained a script they sat back down in their seats. Giles straightened his sweater vest and glasses. "Now, I would first like to establish the main characters of the play so I can learn some faces. When I call your role please come up to the stage." Giles flipped to the second page of the script and started reading off the roles. "Romeo Montague."
Angel rose from his seat and ran up the five stairs to rest on the stage.
"Juliet Capulet."
Buffy leaped from her chair and walked nonchalantly to the stage. She didn't want to seem desperate. She stood right next to Angel. "Hey."
"Hey," he replied with a smile.
Oh my God. He just said 'hey.' And he smiled!
Once Giles read off the rest of the bigger parts he stopped and took a look at the students standing before him. The librarian walked over to Cordelia and said, "You don't look familiar."
"I have a life," she answered sternly.
Giles's jaw tightened as he continued his sweep of his "talent." "Well, let's get started shall we. Juliet and Romeo if you could rehearse your first scene together in the seating area while we run through the beginning that would be perfect. Oz, please gather the crew and figure out what we'll need for set designs and Willow come with me." Everyone did as they were told, Buffy bearing the biggest grin of all.
Angel picked the seats that were in the middle of the room and Buffy sat a seat away from him. Again, don't want to seem desperate. "I don't bite," he said with a smile. She chuckled and moved over towards him. "Much better. All right, now let's get this party started."
Just as they were sorting through the pages a blonde bearing jeans and a black t-shirt approached them. They looked up at the figure before them. "Do you want something Spike?" Buffy asked.
"Giles asked me to sit with you guys since I'm the understudy."
"Understudy?" Buffy asked. "Like, if something happens to Angel-"
"I'm his replacement."
Buffy made a disgusted face. "You've gotta be kidding me."
"What's that s'posed to mean?"
"That means you're not the play type."
Angel looked at the two of them. "I'm sensing some tension between you two."
"No tension. Just disgust," Buffy answered. "This kid has made it a personal goal to annoy me until the end of my high school days."
"Who said I was stoppin' at high school?"
"My restraining order."
"Hey Buffy," Xander greeted, catching onto the friendship signals of panic (raised voices). "Angel. Satin."
"Oh," Spike said, clutching his chest, "Geek boy insulted me. How will I ever go on?"
"Hopefully not breathing."
"I'm gonna go see if Giles needs any help," Angel suggested, wanting to get away from this situation.
"No, Angel. Wait." Angel jogged down the aisle to the stage. Buffy sighed and fell back in her seat. "What the hell is your problem?"
"You."
"Then why are you here?" she said through gritted teeth.
"I'm the understudy."
"Oh, so you're not good enough to be the first choice."
Spike's face contorted into one of frustration before he pushed off the seat and walked away.
"Well, that was pleasant," Xander said.
"Do you understand how serious the situation is?"
"There's a situation?"
"If anything happens to Angel. A cold, an F, a hangnail, Spike will be his replacement. I may have to kiss that thing."
"Well, I guess it's only fitting since this is a tragedy. And apparently a comedy. I fail to see the humor in self mutilation and two horny teenagers."
"Have you even read the play before?" Buffy questioned.
"Of course," he said assuringly. Buffy gave him her look of disbelief. "If by read you mean skim and by skim you mean looked at the cover and amount of pages before putting it back on the shelf."
"No, your basic definition of reading."
"Then no."
"If Angel has to bow down, you'll have to be Rosemary's baby's best friend."
"What?" Xander exclaimed.
"Only until you die."
"I die!"
"Because my cousin kills you. Well actually it's pretty much Romeo's fault."
"My best friend kills me? What kind of friend is that?"
"You should read the play," Buffy suggested.
"What's the point, I know I die. Life just lost all meaning."
"You do know you aren't literally dying."
"Buffy I would like to be alone right now," Xander said with a hint of tears.
Buffy rolled her eyes and went to the stage to meet up with Angel.
Author's Note: Well, I hope you like it. It's gonna get funnier, I promise! And if you thought it was funny then you may want your sides stitched up so they don't explode out of your body. Wow, do I sound very full of myself. I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make sure you don't read this and then click out of it without ever wanting to read my words again. And here I go babbling, again with the sorry. Please keep reading and reviews are always appreciated.
