Author's Note: This was written in 2012. I found it while cleaning out my files, dusted it off a bit, and decided I might as well post it. I hadn't realized how much I missed the Potterverse, long have I been away. Leave a review if you feel so inclined. Thank you for reading.
Starting on the Wrong Foot
"Don't mind them," said Lily. "They're just immature."
Severus scowled at the compartment's glass door. The two boys were still laughing uproariously. "You didn't catch their names, did you?" he said.
"No," said Lily, raising an eyebrow. "But it doesn't really matter. Come on, Sev, let's just find another compartment."
"They're probably all full by now," said Severus.
Lily smiled and grabbed hold of his hand, "Let's look anyway." Severus began walking almost immediately at her touch, as though the gentle pressure of her fingers was an order.
"You shouldn't pay any attention to them," Lily continued, weaving between the students who were standing in the corridor, yet to find a compartment or catching up with friends. "You're plenty brave. Brave enough for Gryffindor if you wanted."
Severus snorted, "I don't want it. Gryffindor is for stuffed up idiots like them."
Lily smiled. "And you're not a stuffed up idiot. It'll be Slytherin for the both of us, do you suppose?"
"Absolutely," said Severus.
"But what –" Lily faltered. She suddenly looked nervous, "I don't know anything about magic, Sev. What if I'm in Hufflepuff?"
"You won't," said Severus, gruffly to hide his sheepishness. "You're plenty smart – besides, the hat chooses by your potential."
Lily smiled and squeezed Severus's hand in appreciation. "Come on," she said, "let's sit here. There's still room."
The compartment was empty save a small boy who sat in the corner, indiscernible for a moment from the paper of the walls, the leather padded seats, or the luggage rack. He was reading a book and apparently lost from the world.
"I don't want to sit with anyone else," said Severus, pursing his lips. "Let's keep looking for any empty one."
"You said yourself all the compartments are probably full by now," said Lily. "This is as good as we'll get. Come on, give it a try. Maybe he'll be nice." She dropped Severus's hand to pull open the compartment door.
The boy in the corner started and looked up as though he'd been set on a spring, waiting to go off at that very moment. His book clattered to the floor.
"Hello," said Lily, "can we sit here?"
The boy moved his lips but didn't say anything. He nodded. Severus made a noise in the back of his throat that might have indicated derision.
Lily smiled warmly, the way her mother had taught her when making friends, and both she and Severus entered.
"What are you reading?" said Lily.
The boy seemed just to realize he dropped his book on the floor. He stooped to retrieve it and when he sat back up his face was red. He showed Lily the spine, which was emblazoned with something Latin.
"Oh," said Lily. "I'm Lily Evans and this is Severus Snape. What's your name?"
The boy opened his mouth and closed it again. He took a deep breath and, as if he was going to launch into a great speech, said, "I'm Remus – Remus…Lupin."
"Hello, Remus," said Lily. Severus grunted. "Are you a first year, too?"
Remus nodded.
"Are you excited?"
Remus felt his lips melt into a smile but he checked himself. He nodded again.
"So am I," said the girl, Lily Evans. She had red hair and vivid green eyes. The boy – Severus Snake? – had greasy black hair and a big nose. He looked as though he'd swallowed something sour and couldn't get the taste out of his mouth.
Remus kept his book on his knee, in case of further sanctuary. Lily Evans began swinging her legs back and forth. Severus – it couldn't be Snake – crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. They were an odd couple, Remus decided. They seemed to be familiar with one another and he wondered if they knew each other out of school.
It dawned on Remus that Lily Evans' face was rather red and puffy. She looked as though she'd been crying. He wondered if she was missing home already, as he was.
Remus realized he was staring and hastily buried his face with his book. He riffled through the pages at random and found he couldn't pay attention to the words, any more than he had before the other two came in. He was much too nervous to concentrate.
"So," said Lily, with a definite tone of forced conversation, "What house do you want to get into, Remus?"
Remus was startled she remembered his name. Well, of course, she did, you twit, you just told it to her a few minutes ago. He put his book back down on his knee. He shrugged.
It was true…half true. What he knew and what he wanted were two entirely different things. He knew, of course, which house he wanted to get into, but usually tried to stop himself from thinking that far ahead. Remus couldn't afford to get ahead of himself in his reckoning. He didn't think he could stand it if Headmaster Dumbledore changed his mind…. But of course Lily and Severus weren't to know that.
"Sev wants to get into Slytherin," said Lily without waiting for Remus to answer. "I do too." Severus smirked in a manner that dripped of self-satisfaction.
Slytherin? Lily didn't seem at all Slytherin material. Although, Severus looked like he fit the mold.
Lily seemed to run out of ideas for conversation and an uncomfortable sort of silence fell on the compartment. Below them the train's wheels rattled and rolling hills of countryside swept by outside the window. Remus racked his brain for something exciting or witty to say and make Lily and Severus like him. He didn't come up with anything and took up his book again.
He stared numbly at the black and white blur of the page. He felt as if he was intruding upon Lily and Severus's company. From behind the cover of his book, Remus heard Severus mutter, "Come on, Lily, let's go look around."
"Nonsense," said Lily in a carrying whisper, "we can't go hopping from one compartment to another."
Remus flipped another page to make sure Lily and Severus didn't realize he'd been listening. They already didn't like him, and they didn't even know what he was yet. The words blurred further. The corners of his eyes stung and he blinked. He was not – not going to cry now. He had cried enough last night, silently into his pillow so his mum and dad wouldn't hear. He wasn't going to cry now, in the presence of two near total strangers. He was not going to make a complete fool of himself before he even got to the castle.
Lily and Severus continued to whisper with one another. Remus took a deep breath, shut away his emotions, took his book away from his face, and said, "I could go if you'd like." He stopped to clear his throat. Somehow he had meant to say more –
"Oh, no," said Lily and looked horrified, "We didn't mean that. We didn't mean that at all." She shot a frightened glance to Severus but he merely scowled.
Remus immediately felt mortified. He hadn't meant to embarrass them, or frighten them. He had been completely sincere in his suggestion, made out of politeness. He could tell they were both uncomfortable and wanted to appease them by leaving. He didn't mind…really.
"Please stay, Remus," Lily insisted. "Please."
Remus's heart sank. Now they felt like they owed him something. He didn't want them to feel like that. But, rather than say something wrong again, Remus kept his mouth shut and turned to look out the window.
His throat was burning and he forced himself to look very hard at the passing barns and trees, in order to avoid eye contact with his companions. Soon enough, Lily and Severus forgot their discomfort and started talking amiably with one another, as if Remus Lupin was no more than a luggage rack.
He tried to tell himself he didn't mind. After all, he couldn't really blame them. He hadn't made a very good impression.
He frowned at his reflection in the window, momentarily wondering if this was what his next seven years at Hogwarts were destined to be like. But then he remembered he wasn't supposed to think that far ahead.
There was a clatter outside their compartment door and Remus looked up again, forcing his face to appear bright and cheerful. The door slid open and there stood a plump, middle aged witch, pushing a large trolley of treats, "What can I get you, dears?" the witch asked with a smile that crinkled her eyes.
Lily Evans' face lit up and she hopped off her seat at once. "Oh, Sev!" she cried, "Look! They've got liquorish wands, and cauldron cakes, and chocolate frogs, and pumpkin pasties!"
Remus was sure she would have gone on if Severus hadn't gotten up as well and shushed her. "I'll take two chocolate frogs and a box of Bertie's and Bott's Every Flavored Beans," he said, digging into the pocket of his robes to retrieve a fistful of coins.
Lily Evans remained undecided, surveying the many magical treats before she placed her own order. Then the witch turned to Remus, who had hung back, staring at her cart wistfully, "Anything for you, dear?"
Remus swallowed, and then shook his head. His father had taken him aside earlier that morning and told him to be careful with his spending money, precious little there was, and Remus aimed not to disappoint him.
After the witch had left, Lily asked somewhat uncomfortably. "Would you like one?" she offered a cauldron cake. "I've got loads."
Remus quickly shook his head, then immediately wished he hadn't. At risk of being asked again, however, Remus took out of his pocket the sandwich his mother had made him that morning. He munched the dry ham and Swiss dejectedly as Severus and Lily continued their conversation.
"Do you think I should change now, Sev?" asked Lily. "We might be there soon, do you think?"
Remus' face went warm. Severus, who was already in his school robes and looking very pleased about it, took no notice of Remus discomfort. Remus didn't want to have to change into his school robes yet. In fact, he'd rather he wouldn't ever have to put on his school robes.
They were very second hand, came down only halfway his calves, and showed all his wrists. They were shabby and frayed at the edges, and patched at the elbows. His mother had tried to do something about them, but to no avail. Privately, Remus thought she'd even made them worse, but he'd never tell her that. He couldn't dream of hurting her feelings.
"I guess so," said Severus with a shrug, "I don't know when we're getting to the castle. It might be a long while yet."
Lily hopped off her seat and extracted her robes from her trunk. She pulled them over her head. Remus noticed, careful to keep his face hidden behind his book so she wouldn't see him look, that her robes looked brand new. The buttons were shiny and the cuffs neatly folded. He took a closer look at Severus and was fractionally mollified to notice the boy's robes weren't nearly as nice as his friends, but still not as shabby as Remus's own.
Remus decided he'd better change soon, however, as he looked out the window to the darkening sky. He made sure to be careful while he got his own robes from his trunk, keeping them out of view as much as possible. He went to the bathroom to change.
Just as he was emerging from the bathroom, the train screeched to a stop. Compartments all down the carriage slid open and out stepped a crowd of students. Remus weaved his way through the crowd, walking against the wall in order to stay out of everyone's way. He reached his own compartment to find Lily and Severus already left. Trying not to feel hurt they hadn't waited for him, Remus pocketed his book and headed back into the hallway.
He was jostled and pushed along until he managed to find a gap and slipped onto the station. The night was cool and crisp. The sky was an inky blue and Remus looked up, in habit, to see the small sliver of moon hanging in the sky. Repressing a shiver, he continued on his way, not knowing quite where he was going and trying to follow the crowd.
"Firs' years!" a call echoed in the night, "Firs' years, this way! To me, now." Remus took a moment to look up, unaccustomed at being addressed as such.
His breath caught and he froze where he stood. Several students had to skirt around him, grumbling, in order to avoid walking into him.
Remus paid them no mind. There, standing right in front of him, was the biggest man he had ever seen in his life. The giant's back was to Remus, but he could clearly see the giant was at least twice as tall as a normal man, and his breadth looked wider than Remus's own small bedroom. A lantern swung precariously in the giant's paw, narrowly missing clipping some of the students on their heads.
Then the giant turned, and Remus let out a small whimper of fear. His feet froze to the ground. He was totally, utterly petrified.
The giant's face was half-covered in a thicket of wiry, wild, black hair, which hung in a tangled beard down his chest. Remus couldn't see the giant's expression, for all the hair, but dimly made out a pair of black, sparkling eyes. The eyes were trained on him.
"Watch it there," said the giant gruffly but not unkindly, nearly walking into Remus as he turned, "Firs' years, follow me, now!" he called over the throng of students. Remus didn't move. He stared up at the giant in trepidation, his neck aching from the effort of keeping it craned so far back. Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus knew he must look a sight, staring at someone with such fear, but he somehow couldn't get to muscles to work.
"There now," said the giant. Remus saw the hair in the region of his mouth twitch. Possibly the lips underneath were smiling. "I don' bight. Just come along."
With some difficulty, Remus pulled himself out of his reverie. Feeling deeply abashed, he set off at a trot after the retreating man, passing easily through the crowd in the wide berth the giant made.
The giant led the line of frightened first years off the platform and towards a bunch of trees. The trees gave way to a path, which, in turn, gave way to the shores of a wide lake.
"See there," said the giant, lifting his lantern and gesturing to the night, "There's Hogwarts."
Remus shielded his eyes from the light of the lamp. He couldn't quite hide his smile as he caught sight of the many towers and turrets of Hogwarts castle, illuminated by the here and there glint of a faraway window. He felt his stomach flutter in anticipation. There it was – Hogwarts – he was here.
At the giant's directions, the first years climbed into the little fleet of rowboats pulled up on the beach. With a moment to see all the first years were present, the boats set off across the glinting darkness that was the lake.
Remus stared at the looming Hogwarts castle. The rest of the children in his boat were all talking excitedly but Remus remained silent. He watched the castle get closer and closer, until he had to strain his neck to keep it in sight, almost getting his eye poked out by a curtain of ivy the boats passed through. Immediately the first years were thrown into darkness. Remus suspected they had gone under the castle.
He strained his eyes in the darkness, trying to catch sight of where they were going, but the next minute he felt the boat scrape bottom and heard the sound of wood grinding against gravel.
"Everyone out," yelled the giant. He was still swinging his lantern and guided the first years with its light.
Like the sound of a light breeze, the first years were all whispering as one. A girl Remus couldn't see in the dark hissed, "Oh! Isn't this exciting?" Remus couldn't have answered even if he'd wanted to. His voice was stuck in the back of his throat.
The giant led them across a dry yard of grass. Above them the stars twinkled, the moon glowed, and the castle loomed.
Up close, Remus could see how big it was. It was so tangible. So solid. Tons and tons of hallowed brick and stone, with high ceilinged passageways and halls. No, he saw not something out of his wildest fantasies. This was real. He was here. Rather than this thought striking a feeling of excitement within him, Remus felt a most curious trickle of fear.
It was almost as if this was some terrible nightmare, from which he could not wake. For a second the future, within this castle's walls, seemed an almost insurmountable thing.
Remus hurriedly smothered the thought. It was ridiculous. This was his dream. Not his terror. And it was actually, miraculously coming true.
But Remus could not completely shake off the feeling something was terribly wrong. Something horrible was going to happen, possibly tonight, possibly in that shadowy abyss of the future. He could not shake off the feeling he was not supposed to be here. It had to be all some horrible mistake.
The children stood before a towering wooden paneled door. On this door the giant banged his football sized knuckles. With a creek, the door swung inwards, revealing the shadowy depth of the castle, from which a tall woman marched. This woman was very straight, very prim, and very rectangular. She straightened her rectangle shoulders and stared out of her rectangle glasses.
"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said the giant.
"Thank you, Hagrid," said the witch, holding her rectangle head at a haughty angle, and surveying the group of students sternly. "You may follow me, now," she told them. She turned and led the children through the door, her heels clacking on the cobblestone floor.
Remus stared at the witch, Professor McGonagall, feeling Hagrid had been rather tame compared to her. The whispering among the children ceased. Professor McGonagall was, undoubtedly, no woman to cross.
Many of the students busied themselves with looking about the hall. Remus, however, was much too preoccupied. He had a confused impression of more darkness, some flickering torches, and a large staircase, but did not bother with the details. The feeling of disbelief, and fright, in turn, was now replaced by nerves which were wrangling and twisting his intestine into knots. He felt he was going to throw up. He did hope not. What a way to introduce himself.
Professor McGonagall, after explaining briefly about the approaching sorting ceremony, left the children in a small side chamber, telling them to behave, she would be back shortly. She then gave a sharp glance to a pair of boys who had been shoving each other and making a ruckus.
"This is bloody brilliant!" cried one of the boys loudly, after Professor McGonagall closed the door behind her. "Do you suppose we could sneak out while she's gone?"
"Oh don't!" cried a girl, "You'll get us all into trouble!"
"What's life without a bit of trouble?" said his friend.
Another boy said loudly, "I say, did you see that man? The size of him!"
"We couldn't very well have missed him," said the boy who had suggested sneaking away in McGonagall's absence.
Remus caught sight, through the crowd, of Lily Evans' flaming red hair. She was whispering near the door with Severus Snake. Both looked excited.
Remus' stomach twisted uncomfortably. He busied himself with taking large breaths of air, in an effort to steady himself.
Momentarily Professor McGonagall returned. She told the first years to once again follow her and had some difficulty sheepherding the two rowdy boys in line, as they both kept pushing people out of the way to get to the front.
Eventually they filed back across the large hall they had come in through. Across they went, until they reached another wooden door, through which the sound of a large number of people, all talking and laughing at once, could be heard.
Remus unconsciously smoothed his robes. Professor McGonagall threw open the doors, and the first years were bathed with light from within the hall. Further on they marched. They passed through the middle of four long tables, two on either side. Remus could only assume these were the four house tables, at which each of the four house members sat. Remus wondered at which table he would soon sit. The gold and red of Gryffindor seemed to particularly stand out, but Remus turned his head. He reminded himself, yet again, that he did not want to think that far ahead.
The two rowdy boys, both with black hair, one with glasses, were standing beside each other in line. Both were waving cheerily at the crowd and blowing kisses to the girls. Several people were laughing.
The children walked towards the table at the end of the hall, raised upon a platform. At this table sat an assortment of grown-up witches and wizards. The other teachers, Remus supposed. Directly in the center of this table sat Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, in all his white-haired, purple-robed majesty. Was it just Remus's imagination, or did Headmaster Dumbledore momentarily catch his eye? Was that a friendly wink there, behind Dumbledore's half-moon glasses? But Remus was sure he had imagined it.
Finally (it seemed like a very long walk) the first years came to a halt. They turned to face the students. Remus's eyes were darting about the room in a manner that made his stomach churn. He seemed to be able to see things in such sharp clarity. One second he was staring at the wax dripping from a floating candle above the Ravenclaw table, next the sullen face of a Slytherin prefect, then he saw a red-haired Gryffindor couple holding hands.
Then there was an explosion of noise. Remus jumped badly. It took him a minute to recognize the sound. After a second he realized someone was singing. He cast his eyes frantically about the room, to notice everyone's attention was now trained on a little three-legged stool, which had been placed without Remus noticing, directly in front of the line of first years. On this stool was a shabby, patched, thoroughly forlorn looking wizard's hat. This hat was erect and straight, and was using a large rip just above the brim as a mouth. It was this hat that was singing.
Just as all this managed to penetrate Remus's mind, the hat stopped singing, and flopped back onto the stool, looking lifeless once more. The students throughout the hall began to applaud. Remus couldn't manage it. He held his arms tightly against his sides to keep them from trembling.
Oh, he was sure he was going to faint. This was too much. Too much. They were going to have to carry his lifeless body out of the room. To where? He wondered. Probably back to the train. He supposed you had to be conscious to be sorted. Oh, he had been so stupid. Gryffindor was out of the question….
"When I call your name, please come forward and place the Sorting Hat on your head," said Professor McGonagall. She unrolled a large scroll of parchment, "Abbot, Genevieve."
A frightened looking, blond haired girl stumbled forward. She did as Professor McGonagall bid, plopping herself down on the stool, and pulled the Sorting Hat over her head.
The whole Hall was silent for a moment before the rip opened again and the hat shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!" and Genevieve Abbot skipped off to join her house.
Remus's nerves now grew to an acuteness he had never known before. His mouth seemed mysteriously void of saliva and he found it hard to breath. He heard his mother's voice, quiet and trembling, speaking from the other side of a locked door, "Close your eyes and count to ten, dear, it'll all be over in a minute." And Remus shut his eyes tightly.
He began to count silently in his head, but dark, frightened thoughts persisted to interrupt him. One, two, three, what if he tripped over his feet when his name was called? Four, five six, what if the Sorting Hat didn't have a house to put him in? Seven, eight, nine what if Professor McGonagall never called his name at all?
This thought was so horrible that Remus's eyes flew open. The light of the hall momentarily assaulted his retinas.
"Black, Sirius," was called and one of the rowdy boys came forward, and was sorted into "GRYFFINDOR!" This fact seemed to interest a great many people within the Hall. Several of the students, especially those at the Slytherin table, began to mutter and exchange glances. Remus took little notice; he was too busy trying not to panic.
He was sure his name wasn't going to be called. McGonagall was going to just go right down the list, skipping over his name, until he was the last one in line. No one was even going to know why he was there. Headmaster Dumbledore would probably tell Remus it had all been a misunderstanding. Remus hadn't been invited to come after all.
He was sure. Oh, so sure….
He watched as Lily Evans was called. She traipsed up to the stool and put on the Sorting Hat. "GRYFFINDOR!" the hat cried. Lily cast a smile back to her friend Severus Snake, who looked upset.
Several more names were called. Remus felt just about ready to cry. His throat was burning from the effort it cost him to keep back the tears.
"Lupin, Remus," said Professor McGonagall.
Remus jumped again. That – that was his name. His name. Blank disbelief took the place of fear, and Remus found his legs were carrying him forward as if in a trance. He took off the seat the Sorting Hat and placed it on his head, sitting down himself.
He shut his eyes as the hat slid down passed his brow. Gryffindor…he thought before he could stop himself…oh please.
"Hmm…Gryffindor, you say?" said a voice.
Remus jumped. Oh Merlin! The hat was talking. But Remus hadn't heard it do this for any of the other students…
"That's because the other students can't hear us," explained the hat.
Well, that made sense.
"Of course it does. Now…where to put you…. mmHmm…Not to worry. I've never not sorted someone before. Even the trickiest cases don't get by me. So. You're smart…I can see that. Obvious choice would be Ravenclaw…but loyal as well. Clever, too…."
What about brave? Thought Remus. At the moment though, he felt quite the contrary.
"Plenty brave," said the hat, "You're very courageous. Oh! I see you would have to be, given certain circumstances. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about that. You're secret, as everyone's are, is perfectly safe with me. Well, there isn't anything else for it –" and the hat shouted, so the whole hall could hear, "GRYFFINDOR!"
Remus felt a marvelous wave of relief wash over him. His face split into a grin for the first time that day. He took off the hat with trembling hands. To his horror he felt his urge to start crying was increased. He hastily smothered this and rushed off the platform to where the Gryffindor table was waiting. They were all clapping and smiling in invite. They were clapping for him. They wanted him.
Remus was positively shaking from joy and relief as he sat down next to the boy, Sirius Black, who had been previously sorted.
"Hey," said Sirius Black, smiling widely in welcome, "Great place Gryffindor, isn't it?"
Remus nodded, smiling widely.
They were momentarily joined by a mousy looking boy named Peter and then by the second boy who had been making such a commotion - the one with glasses.
James Potter squeezed in-between Remus and Sirius Black.
"Knew you'd get here all along," said James to Sirius.
Sirius laughed, "Did you see the look on Bella's face? Wanted to give the lot of them the finger…but I decided that might be overdone."
"Oh, go ahead then," said James.
Sirius stood on his bench and showed his middle finger to the Slytherin table. Remus strongly doubted anyone had even noticed him, but both James and Sirius thought it was brilliant.
"Brilliant," snorted James through his laughter. Across the table, the boy named Peter was laughing, as well. Remus smiled hesitantly.
On the platform, the sorting finished. Professor McGonagall removed the stool and the Sorting Hat. A hush fell over the Hall as Headmaster Dumbledore stood, even James and Sirius complied.
"I have four very important words to say to you," said the Headmaster gravely. Remus's brow furrowed and he stared attentively up at the staff table. Dumbledore continued, "Welcome! Let us eat!"
The crowd of students laughed and cheered. James and Sirius, together, said very loudly, "Bravo!"
"And he has my vote for Minister," declared James.
Several of the new first years then gasped in delight and surprise, for the empty plates and dishes on the tables suddenly filled with mountains of food.
Remus looked in rapture upon the sight. His sandwich on the train felt like a very long time ago and he quickly piled high his plate with everything within his reach.
"Wonder how much trouble I'd get into if I went over to poor this pumpkin juice on Bella's head?" hissed Sirius to James. Peter laughed again.
James urged, "Let's see."
"Oh don't," said a voice. The two boys, and Remus, looked to see Lily Evans sitting on Sirius's other side. She had, until then, been quietly removing mashed potatoes off her plate, into her mouth. She now looked quite grumpy, "You'll get into so much trouble. And it's your first night here!"
"What does that have anything to do with it?" retorted Sirius. "I'll get into trouble sooner or later, anyway."
"Yeah," said Peter from across the table.
"Where's your boyfriend?" asked James, "Why aren't you over there with him in Slytherin?"
"Yes," said Sirius. "Where's dear Snivellus?"
Lily scoffed. She got up from the table with a toss of her red hair. Picking up her plate of potatoes, she went further down the table to deposit herself between two other first year girls.
James and Sirius laughed, Peter with them. Remus looked furtively away. He tried to catch Lily's eye from down the table but she didn't seem to notice him. He wondered if she'd have remembered him if she'd seen him.
James and Sirius continued to crack jokes, being so vivacious that some of the older students began to shoot them warning glances. Remus didn't mind. He was perfectly content to sit there, quietly eating his chicken and peas, so long as the conversation did not require his participation. They were rather entertaining, really.
Finally Sirius, having noticed Peter's appreciation from across the table, asked the boy, "So? What's your name, then?"
"Peter," said Peter, looking very proud to be included.
"And yours?" asked James, turning to look at Remus.
Remus felt his cheeks flush. But he decided he would have to speak sooner or later, "Erm – R-Remus – Remus Lupin."
"We'll all be sharing a dormitory, I suppose," said James.
Remus gave a small nod.
James waited for a few more seconds, evidently waiting for Remus to say something interesting. When Remus didn't, however, James turned back to Sirius.
"Hey, ten points if you can get your napkin through that ghost's head," said James.
Sirius grinned and tossed his napkin into the air. It missed the ghost by some distance, but landed in Lily Evans' potatoes.
Lily looked up and glared at the boys. She took the napkin off her plate gingerly. James and Sirius waved at her. Peter laughed again.
The feast passed in a whirl of food, quite a lot of shouting from Sirius and James, some more laughing on Peter's part, and a good deal of quiet smiling on Remus'. Eventually the food cleared away, leaving the gold plates wiped clean and shining, and Headmaster Dumbledore stood to make a few announcements.
As he did this, Remus studied James and Sirius. Both were grinning mischievously. Remus had no doubt they were both contemplating how best to disobey each of Professor Dumbledore's start of term notices. This thought made Remus feel a bit uneasy. What had he gotten himself into?
Headmaster Dumbledore dismissed them, bidding them good-night. With a deafening scrape of their benches against the floor, the students all got up at once.
A Gryffindor prefect got up and called the first years forward. James and Sirius were still sitting at the table, whispering and smirking. Remus knew this boded ill, and quickly joined the queue of first years that was making its way to the prefect. Peter was looking at James and Sirius eagerly.
To his surprise, James, Sirius, and Peter joined him in line a moment later. All looked very excited about something. Remus wondered what they were planning. He hoped, whatever it was, wasn't completely retched. And need not include himself.
Nothing happened, however, until the first years removed themselves from the hall, and separated from the other students. The Gryffindor prefect led them up a flight of stairs.
Behind Remus, he heard Sirius's voice, "Now?"
"Wait until they get around this bend," hissed James.
Remus's curiosity was piqued. Wait until they get around this bend to do what? He wondered. He chanced a look behind his shoulder and caught James's eye. The boy grinned and Remus smiled hesitantly in return. Behind James and Sirius was Peter, the last in line. Smaller than the two, he kept hopping on his tip-toes to see over their shoulders.
They reached the top of the stairs and the bend behind which they were waiting for them to go around.
"Come on," hissed Sirius.
"Come on," said James to Remus.
"Er –" said Remus.
"Oh, go on, then," urged James. And the four of the darted back around the corner and down the stairs.
James and Sirius were having difficulty stifling their laughter. Peter was laughing, as well, but Remus doubted he knew what the joke was. Remus shot a furtive glance over his shoulder. Oh, he hoped they wouldn't get into trouble….
"So," said Sirius, "Where to next?"
"The kitchens?" suggested Peter.
"Naw," said James. "We could nick a couple of brooms and go out to the pitch."
"Or we could check out the forbidden forest," said Sirius.
"But Headmaster Dumbledore says that's dangerous…" said Peter.
"So what?" asked Sirius.
"We might run into a – a vampire or something," said Peter.
"So?" asked Sirius again.
"What do you think, Remus?" asked James.
Alarmed at being asked his opinion, Remus blushed. "Oh – er – I don't know… as long as we don't get caught…."
"That's the spirit," said Sirius. "We're not actually breaking any rules if no one catches us."
Remus had never heard it put that way before.
"So, to the forest then?" said James.
"B-but what if we run into a – a bear or a – a werewolf, or something?" asked Peter.
James snorted, "Don't be thick, it's not full moon."
Sirius sneered, "Besides, if you're afraid you can just stay behind."
"I'm not afraid."
"Well then, let's go. I say, Remus, what's the matter…?" but James trailed away. His face went pale when he saw whom Remus was staring at.
It was Professor McGonagall. Her hands were on her hips. She looked very cross.
"And what," said Professor McGonagall, her lips pressed firmly together, "Might you four be doing out of bed?"
For a moment Remus felt just as he had done while waiting to be sorted. He felt sure he was going to throw up, or possibly faint.
"We were lost," said James promptly, having got his breath back.
"Lost?" said Professor McGonagall, her eyebrows rising.
"Yes. We were just discussing the best way to get back."
Remus turned to look at James in surprise, appalled at these lies. It's no use, he thought miserably, they were all going to get detention. He gulped, perhaps they would kick him out before he even got to see the dormitory. Oh, he knew it had been too good to be true….
"Were you just discussing that?" said Professor McGonagall. "I did not, for instance, hear anything about sneaking down to the forest? Which is, in case you had not heard the Headmaster, forbidden to students."
"No." said James, "I'm sure you must have misheard us."
Peter giggled.
"Is that so," said McGonagall. Her eyebrows were still raised, but for the smallest moment Remus thought he saw something like a smile flit across her lips.
"Very so," said Sirius.
"So so," said James.
"Very well," she said briskly, "As it is your first night here, I will – er – take your word for it. But, be warned, I will not tolerate late night wanderings in the future. Lost or not. Now, follow me, I will show you to your dormitory."
The four obediently trailed after McGonagall. Remus could hardly believe it. Nothing had happened. Everything was going to be alright. He wasn't going to be expelled.
And then, to his complete and utter horror, Remus began to cry. The tears he seemed to have been holding at bay since that morning finally overflowed. And once they came, they were hard to stop. He cried and cried, tears running down his nose and through his fingers.
"Now, Mr. Lupin, whatever is the matter?" asked Professor McGonagall, bemused.
Remus couldn't even manage to shake his head. Oh, oh stop it! He was making a complete fool of himself. What must the other boys think of him? Oh, it was so unfair….
"Really, my dear boy, there is nothing to cry about!" said McGonagall. "Everything is quite alright."
But it wasn't alright. Not alright at all. Remus Lupin had just burst into tears in front of James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. If ever there was something to cry about, this was it.
There was a quiet smattering of footsteps, and a breathless voice said, "Oh, I'm so glad I've found someone. I was lost and didn't know how to get to my dormitory…." The voice trailed away.
"Not another one!" said Professor McGonagall, "And what might your story be, Miss Evans?"
"Oh! Professor McGonagall! I – I was lost…."
"Apparently." Professor McGonagall said dryly. "Very well – follow along here…."
Remus, startled by the sudden appearance of Lily Evans, withdrew his head from his hands and managed to stop crying.
"You weren't looking for me, were you?" asked James, smiling devilishly.
"Of course not," said Lily poisonously. She tossed her red hair over her shoulder and went to walk by the side of McGonagall.
Remus lagged behind the group. At the moment he hadn't the slightest urge to show anyone his face and kept his head bowed in case anyone should look back at him. He could not manage to hide a sniff now and then.
McGonagall led them down several more passageways and up a few more staircases. Finally they found themselves before a large portrait of a fat woman wrapped in flowing pink robes. The woman in the portrait stared at McGonagall quizzically.
"And what is this?" said the portrait.
"Some first years," said Professor McGonagall. "All five of them had gotten lost. Anyway," she turned to the group, "You'll want to remember it, the password is Glumbumble." At the word the portrait of the fat lady swung forward, revealing a raised entrance way and a large room beyond.
"Very well," said Professor McGonagall. "Up to bed, all of you. You have classes early in the morning." The group clambered through the portrait hole.
"Moreover, Mr. Black," said McGonagall. Sirius turned around, "Congratulations on your entrance to my house. I must say you gave us all quite a turn."
Sirius smirked in a self-satisfied way, "Just doing my duty, Professor."
"You too, Mr. Lupin."
Remus sniffed and blinked his eyes. Professor McGonagall closed the portrait, leaving the five standing awkwardly together.
"Where were you four going?" asked Lily bossily, putting her fists on her hips and looking, for an instant, remarkably like Professor McGonagall.
"We might ask you the same question," snapped James.
"She was probably off visiting her boyfriend, Snivellus," sneered Sirius.
Lily blushed, "Don't call him that – and he isn't my boyfriend – and – and, besides, it's none of your business!"
"Well, the same goes to you," said James.
"Fine!" cried Lily, "I'm going up to bed."
"Fine," said Sirius.
"Go then," said James, "We're not stopping you."
"Good riddance," said Sirius.
"Yeah," said Peter.
Lily harrumphed indignantly and flounced away. James and Sirius smirked after her.
Remus had been covertly wiping his eyes on his sleeve and missed most of the scene. He now noticed most of the few remaining students in the room were staring at the first years questionably. The Gryffindor common room was a large, comfortable looking affair. The carpet was threadbare and scattered with little tables for studying, and several clusters of overly stuffed armchairs. A dying fire crackled feebly in the grate.
"Come on," said James. And he led the group up a staircase. They soon found a door labeled with the sign, First Years, and entered.
Inside this room were four beds, hung with gold and crimson curtains. Sirius flopped on his back onto one of these.
"This is bloody brilliant!" he exclaimed.
Remus perched on the side of another bed. Now that he had stopped crying, Remus found he could smile a little. He had survived the ride on the Hogwarts Express, been successfully sorted in Gryffindor, avoided detention with McGonagall, and his dorm mates seemed nice enough. At least the three other boys weren't shirking at the sight of him. He was very inclined, Remus thought, to agree with Sirius.
Bloody brilliant, indeed.
End
