Hidden Pain

Taruchi( Of course! ^-^LOL)

It was late as always when the doors of grieve opened up letting pain fill her. Her friends knew nothing of the sorrow caged within her for if they did they would pity and try to help her ease the beating of such a grieve. Yet, in all reality, 'they' were the cause and there actions would double it's intensity and massive mass. This grieve, this anguish, this agony grew slowly hidden within her being and would continue as long as she bared it constructing her death. True she didn't long for this prolong death of soul crushing deceit But what was her truth was a release. A release from this damned punishment with the aim of payback for what she didn't know yet but sure enough this tumor of heartache she lugged with her was just that, a unjust punishment.

Try as she might to escape and break free of it in the realm of sleep. It stayed with her like a scar upon her back pulsating with her heart beat. And since she held it with in her, the imaginings given to her head during the hours of darkness taunted her, tortured her, beat her for trying to escape; No, she could hide from it when she was in it's territory. Her dreams became dark horror nightmares as it manifested into a great village with in her mind. So here she was, lying in the darkness with the cub lying beside her on her sleeping bag oblivious to the silent silthy drops dripping from her lush brown lashes.

What did she do? Why did she deserve this life? Wasn't she suppose to fix the timeline tainted and broke by the jewel? Questions came one after another with each tear, in spite of that no answers came.

Her life was not her own, but who's life was? Everyone belong to the will of Fate, Destiny, and The Lord above! Figuring Destiny had it in for her. What did he give her, A lonely childhood void of love and care then sending her into a unknown past to meet her incarnation who loathed her for no reason other then being her reincarnation! Worst, she was forced to bare the misfortune of finishing the bitch's burdens! To add to it, Inuyasha, her first thought love, asked her to give herself to him. She did not knowing he would leave her after he impregnated her only say 'Feh, What happened between us was a mistake, I was meant for Kikyo and that is who I want bitch!' But to Destiny, it wasn't enough……..no he had it in for her and he would inflict more then that. He needed more pain to enjoy.

Destiny sent her someone else…… She bet on the sick bastard recording her life like a movie replaying it daily just to see the power he had.

This someone took her in, killing the unborn child contained by her in a none then less painful agonizing way for any women, swearing she knew no female should go through such a dark method of aches, but still went along for him ignoring the blood that flowed and the throbbing she felt. Slowing what seemed to be years she felt the beginning organs shut down, lastly the little double heartbeat stopped and her lower half went numb. It was over, nothing was left of her and Inuyasha. What she had now was an disfigurement place and a generous body standing before her. Their relationship unremitting in a secret process meeting in the dark time of the days for a 20 month time period. She fell deeper and deeper each passing day as a flower would bloom in the spring sun until a fateful promise would meet the demise of the wonderful spring flowing with a placid peace. Her mind recalled it word for word cursing her loyalty. He held her filling her with a warmth and security nothing else could provide. He sincerely asked her if she would pledge her love. Her heart jumped with glee. Tears of joy formed as her creed and collar were placed never to be removed till' her death and even then it would stand in the afterworld. This was he mistake that she would only figure out later, maybe to soon for her own good. Knowing she'd be bound and keep to her words she spoke, "I love you, Sesshoumaru. I always will ,now and forever. I belong to as does my heart and soul. I'll never leave your side! No matter what happens I 'am' yours. And yours alone. I promise and swear. I love you!" She soon afterward fell contently asleep in his arms.

She awoke early as usual to head back to camp except this time Sesshoumaru was not there! Only the presence of a tingle on her forehead told her he kissed her goodbye. A little saddened nonetheless still giddy and high from what transpired a few hours ago she proceeded to head to camp. Soon after getting back and curling up in her sleeping bag, her companions awoke. They eat breakfast, packed, and started out their journey to look for shards once again. It wasn't long before they by passed a clearing where low and behold there was 'her' secret lover….with another. The vile scene disgusted her group members but not her it stung her. A red hot knife stabbed her heart willing her to scream out, to release her emotions expect she couldn't! No matter what she wouldn't for her comrades will find out their private doings. She held it inside undergoing enormous damage.

Oh the gods were against her too! She left for her time later in the day vowing not to let this get to her, assuring herself she would get over it in time. But to no avail. Upon reaching the other side of the cursed well, she was only presented with information her father had came home along with her uncle. Her uncle… Shaking her head she fought of the fear and the distaste she had for her 'dear' uncle. He was a pervert beyond believes whom hit on her since she was five. Heading to her room she went to nap away the problems of the past. She was in the future, wasn't she thought to leave the things in the past?…..Yes, she was and that was just how it was going to happen.

Peace didn't find her gratefully. Why you ask? Well.. She awoke in the night to find he uncle atop her pumping vigorously into her making her cry out in pain and earning her strikes of anger from her uncle telling her to shut up. She complied whimpering thorough out the whole event. He took one last excruciating thrust causing a new trail of salt water drops to fall from her eyes. He got up and left her there saying he'd be back. She couldn't take it, she came her to alleviate her sorrow from the other era only to get more torture from her own. She figured it best to return to the past and soon. She could deal with her problems there rather than receive more unbearable treatment here. So she hurried out of her room to the well not bathing to look back. 'WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO?', she scolded as she knew she would never see her true friends again. The well sealed itself proving her correct and pleasing a certain dog demon.

Time passed as it always does. However, the pain never even dented with relieve. In fact it swelled and spread like a cancerous curse. Now to big to ignore she stored it in the back of her mind packed away. But it seemed to form a voice and being. Now they're was not evasion. On top of that Fate wasn't done , he still had cards to play. Fate had Sesshoumaru coming every couple months holding the promise against her and using it to the full intent it was given. Plus in her heart she felt the need, even if it refreshed and multiplied the ache by ten, she couldn't say no. Truly she was collared and chained to this Sesshoumaru.

Now, here she was crying again. She knew more must be inshore for her! But What? She didn't still didn't want to know. She realized though she couldn't take anymore beating with the damned emotional whip. She had presumed there was only one way to stop more to came except she had already tried many way many times………

Her at present in the depths of her morbid mind devised a plan….although would it work this time? Would the gods be so satisfied that they would allow her to be in harmony with nature and them? They weren't pleased enough when she tire a rope about her neck with a bag over her head …no she awoke a hour later gasping for air. Were they not content with her taking various poisons she could find………NO she was only left sore for a couple days and a pissed honyou yelling at her for making such careless mistakes in mixing up poisons with herbs! What about when she 'accidentally' cut her wrists on a sword lying about………….once again NO. She bled for five days straight and still the gods wouldn't allow her death! Hopefully they'd accept this one last plea!

She waited for the rest of the group to get up, planning just how she would make this work. They rose, ate, and left in search for Naraku again. "WHERE IS HE?", Inuyasha yelled in frustration. The rest of the group took this time of confusion as a superior time to ask for a much needed break. "Inuyasha, can we please rest awhile?" Sango beseeched trying not to echo to childish. Inuyasha had noticed Kagome struggling to keep up and wanted to stop them himself for her sake but not that he would EVER admit it so he kept on being silent, but this could be the chance with out showing he cared or worried for her. He sneerly huffed, "Fine but only till I find Naraku's scent again!". They all plopped down on the earth as relieve swooned them mean while Inuyasha looked like a starved wild dog looking for a source of ANY trace of food. Kagome held in a evil laugh. Now was her chance, they were close to him and she knew where to go to find him not that she would tell her 'friends' THAT!!! She stood addressing her companions, time to ask for mercy from the Gods, Destiny, and Fate. "I'm am going for a walk." She stated bluntly. 'A walk to the end of this curse, hopefully' She thought.

Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha sensed something wrong, she was tire obviously and yet she still wished to continue walking?, though no one said anything. Sango spoke first dealing with this strange event. "DO you want me to come with you?" Although Inuyasha ruined her polite gesture by hissing out at the same time, "You're not going anywhere! We cant afford to go chasing after you!" (A/N can you guess what is coming??^-^) Kagome was NOT in the mood for this at all. Her anger rose, She needed to go by herself and they needed to deal with it!, "No and Inuyasha, Sit! You can't tell me what to do and, sit, if I want to leave I am going to! SIT, Now I am going on my walk alone and I, sit, don't want anyone following me, INUYASHA!" , abruptly she stormed off to the nearby woods where she'd find him.

Sango, Shippo and Inuyasha were at a lost words. Miroku was worried now and did the first thing he thought. Nudging Shippo, "Follow her and then come back here to tell us where she is and what is going on, please." Shippo unsteadily nodded and bounded for her trail, keeping hidden by neighboring bushes. Something didn't feel right about this, they all felt a need to go after here but for what they didn't know. Inuyasha and Sango looked at Miroku after Shippo disappeared who only shrugged and went back to resting his eyes.

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She knew where he was all the time but she didn't say or do anything for she was preparing herself for the fight with him. But now, she wasn't going to fight. She had a favor to ask the powerful demon and the other wouldn't understand so she had to go alone! Shippo smelt him? Why when he couldn't 5 minutes ago? Worst, Kagome was heading in the directions it got stronger! He felt like crying out, to stop her but no noise was heard. He had to stay quiet to do what was asked of him, plus, fear Kagome would be mad at him for following her after she said not to! This was bad……

Nearing a clearing, kagome felt his presence intensify. This was it, no turning back. Walking into the unknown area she saw him….sitting in the middle with a grin on his face, 'had he known I would come?'. She ignored the urge to run or scream out, instead walking to where she stood now. Her poster straight showing she had business and no matter wouldn't shy from it. His grin widened for her she stood the brave miko longing for his death before with no such motive or baring to do anything, or so he thought. Shippo hid in the closest bush to scared to say or do anything for there HE was, the guy they were looking for months. In addition, his 'mother' had found him like he was a close friend and stood with utmost respect in front of him as he were her king and she a loyal subject in his kingdom. Sure he was close but, FRIEND? He turned to go get Inuyasha but a glimpse of the scene cause him to stay longer…..They were talking?!?!?! Now he knew something was wrong…

Naraku stood laughing malevolently, "You got through my barrier." Kagome was annoyed as is from Inuyasha now she had to deal with an egotistical Naraku! "Of course! It was the only way I could get to you." She gritted out a little peeved she had to endure the chit chat deal with him! Naraku laughed out, "So the little miko has known where I was all along and choose to come fight me one her own…KUKUKUKUKUKU!" Kagome shook in anger, 'HOW DARE HE RIDICULE ME!', "'YES!' I've known where you are! I've known for the past year all your movements, whereabouts, and levels of strength! How can I not ignore a powerful aura such as yours! And No I didn't come to kill you although I know I can easily right now in your low state of power right now." She quarreled. Naraku got both impressed and infuriated by the miko's words and the fact he could tell her anger was flaring yet she stood there staring at him with indifference and in humble stillness. He stood slowly making his way to her being, this would be her test. He started to circle her, still no movement from her. So, he did something he hoped and expected a reaction to. Unending his inspection of her circling her, "So you knew where I was yet you didn't tell your friends," Her eyes flashed with annoyance proving him correct, he smiled evilly, "Ahh, so It is true you didn't tell them. You didn't tell your hanyou, knowing I caused his first death and his life to go into chaos. You didn't tell you friend Sango, knowing I caused her to lose her family; put her brother against her and under my control…; and ruined her life, filling it with pain and remorse. Finally you didn't tell that henti, even though I caused his fathers death and his family has to endure my curse until I die. she held in most of her flinches but most escaped, he was revolving around her whispering these taunts and staring into her eyes, reading them as he passed her face. She knew he could tell what she was feeling but remained still enduring his lashing words of just how unloyal she was being. ….Well I must say you are not what I thought you to be. Here I considered you a naive, loyal, fine, loving, carefree girl whom helped out your friends in need yet you stand here telling me you are not here to kill me. You are something else, either stupider and crueler or braver and stronger then any human or demon since you don't wish my death and dare meet me for no reason. So why is it you ARE here if no for the shards and a fight?" He halted in front of her locking her eyes on his. Her sweet scared brown eye couldn't be seen instead a black cloud of loath and sorrow covered her orbs attraction his to hers, never had he felt or seen such a darkness he had to comply with his instincts gazing into them and reading the unmistakable language within it. She was infuriated now letting it lace itself into her tongue. Although her stance went on uninflected. "Is there a point to that irritating speech because I wish to get to my point and reason to being here. And Quite bluntly I wish to end the chit chatting and get serious." She growled out letting her emotions to flow uncontrolled. This set off another chuckle, "There is a point to everything I say He waved his hand in an regal motion as he turned to were he had been seated signaling her to follow suit. It was just a compliment on my behalf. I……Like this qualities on you." His sinister smile made the sinful feel roll off him. He sat noticing Kagome hadn't moved a inch and shrugged it off. " Suit yourself. Now you wanted to do business with me. So ask but I forewarn you nothing comes without a price."

Kagome felt sick, part of her was greatly objecting to this but it was her last chance to stop Fate and get Destiny of her ass. However, she was finding great difficulty keeping her cool with this maddening composing her rage. She, tired of games and delays, snarled out, "I am aware already of that, and I am sure you will benefit from my proposal if you accept. He become very intrigued and wafer his hand to indication continuance. She gained more courage from this action and did as asked. I will give you all the shards I have acquired and myself wholly, if you in return erase my memory and soul placing in the realm of the dead like you with Kohaku." She paused for a response watching his face contort into that of momentary shock quickly erased into that deep thoughts. 'Kikyo's reincarnation and all the shards? No this miko had no part of Kikyo!' He said to himself itching to say yes to the gracious deal. Kagome grew impatient. She did have a time limit before her friends would come searching for her! "Is it a deal?" Nothing heard causing more anger, "YES or NO, Naraku???"

Naraku had a question pop in his head he felt compelled to inquire before finalizing this scandalous arrangement, "What is in this for you not that I care, but why do you come to me instead of just killing yourself? I would think one such as yourself would disapprove of me having your remains for any of many twisted doing I could need or do?" He raised a brow watch her fight within herself to hold something!?!? Only enticing this situation more and increase the mental pleasure he was experiencing. Her emotions boiled over trying to break limitlessly to no avail Kagome's rage held them back. Kagome growled, if it wasn't bad enough to deal with Naraku, this situation, NOW her own self was forcing her down! "It's NONE of your business, Naraku just answer!" , she gritted out, she was losing within her and if her said no those things she held back would flow and destroy her again worst she would have to face her companions in the middle of the disaster causing her pain locked within to show them her true self ruining her life more. Naraku rose and dropped a brow again knowing how to get it out of her. "Then the answer is no. There must be a scheme behind this pact if you do not wish to give the reasons." He directed to leave with a glint from his eyes.

She stood her ground, though she knew she no hope of getting help without giving him her motive. 'Shit, even if this might not please the gods I have to try! Curse Destiny! Here goes nothing. GRRRRRRRR!'. " Fine, you bastard. I wish to be free of those who have caused me pain. I yearn for freedom from those memories that haunt me. 'AND' I have tried to do so myself only to be mocked by the Gods! So as a final plead, I seek you out to inflict myself upon ultimate harsh and pain staking of being under your rule hurting all those around me in hopes to please those malicious callous Gods, Fate and Destiny and allowing me to be at peace and being free. Not just any freedom, supreme freedom so I cant return to this earth to relive this like Kikyo has done! So PLEASE, Now you know!" Her anger was dissipating and losing for her pain already dripped, yes she was on the verge of yet another breakdown.

Shippo was in shock! His Kagome, His Mother was trying to end her life not only that but tried in the past! By why? No one had really caused her pain, that he knew of. She was always cheery and happy during their adventures with the excepting when her and Inuyasha's fighting times. And if so, wouldn't she have told someone? Did Sango know? And on top of it, Naraku look said clearly he was going to agree! Shippo now had silent tears streaming. What could he do!?!?!

Naraku took in her words carefully. If he said yes he would receive A LOT but she only wanted a state of being without thoughts or memories…..Not to mention he would have a powerful miko working under him giving him more power. That was all he need to convince him. He focused on him previewing the words in his head before talking to her. "It is a deal, Mental Freedom for the Shards and You. Payment now then I will give you what you wish, what you long for Kagome…." Kagome sigh wistfully now hopeful in the success in it…..wait if it doesn't work? What will happen. She had to make sure things didn't get worst! "Naraku, one more condition, if this doesn't work I want all the shard, from me and you and YOUR minions. Naraku knew it would work, he always defied the Gods and went against Fate and Destiny, giving him complete confidence. "SO be it, Now to finalize your plan, our agreement, my gains."

Kagome stepped attentively towards him. Upon reaching him she knelt down a arms length away to the point her forehead rested on the ground. She brought forth a arm placing the shards on the ground before recoiling it and resuming the respectable kneeling position. Naraku hastily picking up the shards in hearing a soft cry coming from her form. Along with the weeping came a mumbled, "Thank you! I have longed for this for so long….. Freedom…..Freedom…..*sniffle sniffle*" He gave one last smirk as he place his other hand atop her head , "Yes, Kagome I shall grant you this one wish. Then you belong to me…..KUKUKUKUKU"

Shippo now had pools of tears at his feet, yet he could do nothing but watch this crazed scene unfold. He was frozen in place as devastation over took him. Then he heard it. The distant call of his name from behind him except he couldn't answer to the sounds, he was just to despondent from over hearing his mother betray them. "SHIPPO! SHIPPO! What is taking so long? Where is …….." Sango caught sight when Inuyasha appeared, "Yea where is the bitch? I just found Naraku's scent and I told her we'd have to chase after her!!!" Miroku followed Shippo and Sango's line of vision shocking him as well. Inuyasha still didn't get there actions so Miroku placed his hand on his shoulder and pointed to behind his back towards the field where kagome was kneeling flat on the ground with Naraku hand placed on top of her head as in a motion to bless her, plus they seem to be talking!

Inuyasha stormed out of the bush wielding the tetsusaiga growling low and portentously yelling, "Kagome! Naraku release her NOW so I can kill you!" Naraku chuckled and smirked, "Of course I will release her it was part of our deal. But no where in the arrangement were you mentioned, but if you insist on fighting I will oblige 'after' I finish this. Yet I see not point in it for I have what I want." Naraku lifted his hand brandishing the shards from Kagome triggering emotions and confusion to overshadow Sango, Miroku, and mostly Inuyasha. Shippo hugged Sango's leg catching everyone's attention lack of Kagome for her body and actions were not her own. Shippo sported red eyes puffed up from crying in spite of that his eyes still tried to release pleading water droplets, "She………..Kagome …She traded herself and the the…. Shards for him to to…..erace her memory so and kill her mind…….so she could……could be free of us!! *Sniff sniff*" Sango felt herself leave, emptiness charging her body yet among the mist she had picked Shippo up placing him in a deadly hug against her chest. Her heart beat in bedlam. Sango could sense everyone's endearment from this change that affecting her as well. She shook her head vigorously, "It can't be true!!!!".

Naraku shivered in delight, surely the mental fun was turning into so much more. "But Dear Sango, it is. The deal is final and you guys came to late to impede it. KUKUKUKUKUKU." Naraku comprehended this would enrage the dog demon, and it did. Inuyasha rabidly growled out, "DON'T CALL ANYONE WITH SUCH SWEET PET NAMES FROM MY GROUP! NOW LET HER GO! I KNOW SHE IS NOT DOING THIS ON HER FREE WILL." Naraku's twisted mind was loving this, Kagome definitely was going to be a nice addition…. "I did nothing. She came to me. Kukuku She begged me to do this and me being the 'nice' demon, I couldn't say no. Why? he smirked and lift a brow Does this upset you? Well how about this…..kukukuku …..We make a deal.. You can have her body afterward save for I have to be in control of her actions to keep my end but you will have her company…." Inuyasha growled intensified; Miroku muttered a simple "sick bastard" as disgust shown on his face; and Sango and Shippo were holding each other and weeping silently.

Almost all noise seized when a whimper caught their ears. Inuyasha's features soften and tension slipped in to obliteration. They are were shaken from their disbelieve and worried for her. "Kagome?", Inuyasha asked barely above a whisper. The others looked on in turmoil.

Kagome hear his question, you could hear a pin drop and differently anyone's voice. Ignoring them, she looked up at her Savior, "Now, please? Please end me now!" she timidly plead. Naraku slid his hand down the side of her face and rested it under her chin, not breaking away from her look. Her eyes were now open, showing the world all she held within her. Naraku wanted to recoil, but didn't even all his wrongs would not have added up to such a immense collection of torment. He knew if she was to become his he would have to keep those eyes dead. He curtly nodded, "As you wish." Sango screamed out her name begging her to come back so they could help but to no avail. Naraku's hand moved to her eyes covering them. Bit by bit her eyes drained of color. Blacker and blacker they changed. Naraku saw all memories as he sent her soul to pit of darkness practically not believing that a human could sustain life with such a past. The whimpering lowered and it to went silent as he registered the last thought, 'Freedom'. He smiled too, know he would never have to face that sight of despair again. It was the only thing to scare him. He removed his hand taking a look. Success.

The group was in shock. Lost in eternal pain and grieve. Naraku's hand dropped to his side. He looked to Inuyasha smirking, "You show so much for her yet you did such things…kukuku…. Honestly I think we would be great partners if not for our past. In any case, we must take leave. My last to shards are needed. Kagome, come. We have a wolf to meet." "Yes Naraku." Came the only reply from an annulled voice. Naraku gave her a comical face, "And don't be rude say goodbye to our guests. he turned his head over his shoulder You too, Kohaku." Kohaku walked up from the shadows and stood next to Kagome whom stood and turned to face the guests. "Goodbye" they said in monotone speech, their eye reminders of the dark abyss their soul rest in. They then turned t stand behind Naraku.. Kohaku to the right and Kagome to the left… both visible diagonal from him. A wind surround their figures dense and thick. It slowly blew away leaving behind only a black ground. Inuyasha's group stared refusing to accept the way she last look, the way she sounded, who she was with, her last words….everything that transpired. NO they would not believe it if the world declared it true. They rejected it even though the prove was burned into their minds. The whole event pictures glued to the frontal lobe in their head never to fade or recede.

They stood lifeless in that same spot, positions willing this not to be the true. Kagome was gone. And they didn't know why, how come, anything for it! Weren't they suppose to know, Weren't they suppose to have been able to prevent it. They were her 'friends'………

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