A Very Odd Couple


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Luka was not in a good mood. The previous night he had stayed at the El platform for what seemed like hours pondering the day's events. Finally he had roused himself and gone home to his empty house. He considered not bothering to show up for his shift. After all he thought to himself who would miss him. But shirking his responsibilities was not in his nature so he turned up as usual.

The rest of the staff was soon wishing that he hadn't turned up. He was moody and short-tempered all day. When Randi asked him a simple question he nearly took her head off.

"Looks like somebody got out of bed the wrong side this morning," said Haleh when Luka was out of earshot.
"I think he's missing Carol," said Chuny. "They were starting to get close you know."
"Yeah well, he shouldn't be taking it out on us," said Randi.

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Dave was not having a good day either. Kerry had cornered him as soon as he had got in.
"Malucci, I need someone to take a few extra shifts while Carter is away." The look in her eyes left him in no doubt that refusing was not an option.
"What's up with Carter?"
"He's on sabbatical. I have a temporary replacement starting next week, but I need someone to cover for a few days."
"Sure thing chief."

Added to that, his lease was due to expire in a few weeks and he hadn't found anywhere new to live.

To top it all he had called for a surgical consult expecting to get Dr Benton, but had gotten Dr Corday instead. Although she had not referred to her earlier criticism of him, he was left in no doubt that she was just waiting for him to screw up again.

Still he thought to himself, things could be worse. After all, the money from the extra shifts would come in handy, he still had some time to find a new place and Dr Corday had not been able to fault his diagnosis. He whistled merrily as he went on his way.

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A few hours later Dave wasn't feeling quite so merry.
"What's the matter," asked Randi after hearing him slam the phone down.
"I'm trying to find a new place to live," replied Dave. "But everywhere I try is either too expensive, too far away or its already taken by the time I phone. If I don't find a place soon, I'll be homeless."
He looked at Randi for a moment. "Don't suppose you have a spare room at your place?"

"Not a chance," replied Randi. She spotted Luka at the other end of the reception desk.
"Hmm," she thought to herself. "This could be fun."
Out loud she said. "But I know someone who does have a spare room."

"Dr Kovac," she called.

"What is it," asked Luka. He was in a slightly better mood and regretted his earlier outburst.
"You've got an extra room at your place don't you?"
"Well yes actually."
"Perfect. Dr Dave here needs a place to stay and you've got a spare room. It's the perfect solution."
"It would really help me out Dr Kovac," said Dave. "It'd only be for a few weeks until I find somewhere permanent."

"But I don't need a housemate," protested Luka.
"Oh go on," said Randi. "You can't let him end up on the streets."
Luka looked at the pair of them. Randi had an evil gleam in her eyes. He was sure that this was payback for his earlier display of ill temper. Dave was looking eagerly at him.
He sighed heavily.
"All right. But it's only temporary, until you find somewhere new."
"You're the greatest, Dr Kovac. You won't regret this," said Dave.
"I regret it already," muttered Luka under his breath. Out loud he said "Call round tonight after work and we'll sort out the details."

"Thanks Randi," said Dave as he left to continue work.

"Yeah thanks Randi," said Luka sarcastically.

Randi smiled. This was even better than she had expected.

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A week later Luka helped Dave move his stuff in.
"I thought you said you only had a few bits and pieces," said Luka as he carried a box up the stairs.
"I guess I just accumulated more than I realized," said Dave. "Another car load should finish it."
"That's what you said last time. You should really use this as an opportunity to get rid of some stuff you don't need." He found a clear patch of floor in Dave's new room and dumped the box.
Dave threw a bundle of clothes on the bed and said, "I did. You should have seen the number of bags I threw in the trash."
Luka sighed in exasperation and went back for another load.

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A few weeks passed. Luka was surprised at how accustomed he had gotten to Dave's presence. True it was sometimes irritating to have to wait his turn in the shower, and Dave's taste in TV programs left a lot to be desired, but on the plus side he hadn't had to bring his car to a mechanic since Dave had moved in.
He was going to miss the company when Dave moved out. Fortunately he didn't seem to be making much progress in house hunting

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One evening after work Luka was passing Dave's doorway when he heard a yelp of pain.

"Dave," he called knocking on the door as he did so. "Dave are you alright?"

The door swung open to reveal Dave sitting on his bed clutching his left hand. Luka could see drops of blood dripping between Dave's fingers. He hurried to his side asking, "what happened?"
Dave answered through clenched teeth "I stuck myself with this pen."
Luka could see the pen wedged between Dave's middle and ring fingers.
"How did you, no never mind. Let's get you patched up first."

"Just pull it out of my hand," said Dave. "And quickly."

Luka examined Dave's hand. The blood had slowed to a trickle, but the pen was still solidly wedged. He brought Dave into the bathroom and opened the first aid kit.

Grasping a cotton pad he gently eased out the pen and clamped the pad over the wound.
"Ow ow ow ow ow," said Dave.
"Ok," said Luka. "Is it still bleeding?"
Dave carefully raised the pad. "No, it's stopped."
"Good," said Luka. He carefully swabbed the area with antiseptic.
"Hey that stings. Can't you dilute it or something?"
"What happened to 'taking on the hurt and winning'?"
"Screw that, this is my hand we're talking about."

Luka smiled in spite of himself. He finished cleaning the wound and started searching for a small enough sticking plaster to cover it.
"So," he said. "Exactly how did you stab yourself with a pen."

Dave sighed and began, "Well I was lying down listening to a relaxation tape - Yosh had brought in a bundle for some of us to try - so I thought I'd give it a go. The tape finished so I decided to get some coffee. I put out my hands to sit up but the pen was on the bed and got caught between my hand and a crease in the blanket. So when I put all my weight on it, it just slid right in."

Luka tried to keep a straight face.
"So did the relaxation tape work?"
"Dunno. I fell asleep halfway through, that's why I wanted some coffee."

At this Luka exploded into fits of laughter.
"I'm sorry Dave. I shouldn't be laughing at your pain."

"Yeah yeah. Just don't tell anyone at work what happened."
"I don't think anyone would believe me."

Impulsively Luka made a decision. "Dave, you know this house hunting you're supposed to be doing?"
Dave looked uncomfortable and said, "yeah man. I've been looking around but it's harder than I thought it would be."
"It's alright I'm not going to evict you. I was thinking that I've gotten used to having another person around, and you can stay as long as you need to."
"Wow, that'd be cool."
"Just don't go making popcorn with the lid off again and we'll get on just fine."
"Hey I apologized for that, but it wasn't my fault that my sister phoned just as I'd turned it on. And I cleaned up afterwards."
"Not very well, I'm still finding pieces of popcorn in the kitchen. And you never explained exactly how popcorn got into the kettle."

Laughing they went downstairs. As Luka made the coffee he reflected that life with Dave was many things but was never going to be dull.

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A very odd couple Part II

Ok, this is going in a slightly different direction than I originally intended
(It's still not a slash fiction, but it's more serious than previous installment)


Previously on my ER

Following some manipulation by Randi,
Luka was persuaded to let Dave move in with him

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One evening, a few weeks later Dave and Luka were watching TV. At least Dave was watching. Luka was trying to read a medical journal.

"Luka," said Dave. "I've been thinking."
"Does it hurt?" asked Luka without looking up.
"Ha Ha. No, I was thinking that we should have a house warming party."
This got Luka's attention and he looked up from his journal. "Unless I've got my customs mixed up, isn't a house warming usually done when you first move into a house? I think I've been here too long to qualify."
"Yeah but I haven't. Anyway it could be fun. We just pick a day when neither of us are working, and invite everyone."
"But what about everyone who is on duty?"
"No problem, we just make sure the party lasts long enough so that everyone has a chance to be there."

"Won't it take a lot of organization?" asked Luka who was not too keen on the idea.
"Not really. A little bit of food, a lot of drink, some good music, no problem."
"You sound as if you've done this sort of thing before."
"Oh yeah, back in college there were parties almost every week. Didn't you have any when you were in college?"
"I was too busy studying to go to too many parties."
"Oh, you missed out on one of the reasons to go to college. I remember once my girlfriends house held a party. Man it was a blast. A couple of hundred people must have showed up."
"Did she have that many friends?"
"Oh she didn't know half of them. One of her friends was working in a coffee shop on campus. Every customer she had, she told about the party and invited them. Most of them showed up. It got so wild that Kendra and her roommate came back to my place to get away from it. When they got back the next morning there was a broken window, cigarette burns everywhere, a couple of their plants even ended up on the garage roof." Dave looked at the shocked expression on Luka's face and realized that this might not have been the best college story to tell him. He quickly back-pedaled.
"But this was a college party, with a bunch of kids. I'm sure everyone we invite will behave better than that."

"Hmmm. So who would you want to invite?" asked Luka.

"I thought we'd just ask everyone from work. At least I can ask the residents and med-students, and you could ask the attendings."
"What about the nurses, are we going to include them?"
"Oh of course. Unless you fancy waking up with plaster casts on all four limbs."
"They'd really do that?"
"If we didn't invite them, they could do worse."

A thought struck Dave. "Hey maybe Carter will be back from his sabbatical by then. He could do with a party to cheer him up."

Luka looked at Dave suspiciously, while wondering if his comment was just a random one, or if he was fishing for information. Kerry had informed Luka and the other attendings of Carter's true whereabouts, but the rest of the staff had been given the story that Carter's injuries had been aggravated by an incident with a patient, and that he was taking a medical sabbatical to recover fully.
Luka hoped that Dave would not pry further into Carter's absence. While he respected Carter's right to privacy, he did not like the idea of lying to Dave.

"Won't all this be expensive?" asked Luka in an effort to get off the subject of Carter.
"Not really. What we can do is, say, whip up a large pot of soup, get in a crate of bread-rolls and then ask everyone to bring some of their favorite food or drink. And the best bit is, we get to keep the leftovers. If everything works out we won't have to buy any food for the rest of the week."
"So long as we don't mind living on week old sandwiches"
"Been there done that."

"Hmm. I'll think about it. We'll talk about it later. Just don't start inviting people yet."

And so they left it at that.
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The next morning over breakfast.

"How can you be so cheerful at this time in the morning?" asked Luka.
"Years of practice and lots of coffee," replied Dave as he dished up Luka's fried breakfast. It had become a habit of theirs to take turns in making breakfast if they were both starting work the same time. The only drawback was that whoever made the breakfast chose the menu. Luka tended towards porridge or croissants. Dave on the other hand was convinced that you couldn't start the day without a good fried breakfast, and the greasier the better.

"You know," said Dave through a mouthful of fried eggs. "If this gets out about us cooking for each other, people are going to start believing all the rumors going around."
"What rumors?" asked Luka.
"They probably wouldn't be repeated in front of you. I'm talking about the rumors about the two of us. You know the real reason people think we're sharing."
"Because you keep my motor running?" asked Luka in confusion.
"That's one way of putting it," said Dave with a grin. "But I know you're talking about your car. No, I've heard people speculating that we're more than just friends."

The penny finally dropped for Luka. "You mean they think we're lovers?" he gasped in shock.
Dave nodded, enjoying Luka's embarrassment.
"I hope that you corrected them immediately."
"Nope."
"But why not?" A thought struck Luka. "You're not? I mean I don't have a problem if you are ..." his voice trailed off.
"Me? Nah. I'm as straight as they come. Just ask all my ex-girlfriends. But if I start protesting, they're going to think I've something to hide."
"Methinks the man doth protest too much," quoted Luka.
"Whatever. Anyway, I figured I could have more fun stirring up the rumors than trying to stop them."
"Aren't you afraid it will damage your reputation with the ladies?"
"One thing you really need to know about women my friend, is that they love a challenge."
Luka looked at him skeptically. Dave continued, "and trying to convert a gay guy is about as big a challenge as you can get. Mark my words; if you 'came out' in the middle of the ER you would have half the nurses throwing themselves at you straight away. Mind you some of them are doing that anyway."
"Hmm. I think you are, what is the phrase? Full of it."
Dave grinned. "So do you want me to try and stop these rumors?"
"Do what you wish. I just want to make it clear that I have absolutely no physical desires for you whatsoever."
"But you don't know me well enough yet," said Dave in mock despair. "Just kidding. I'm not interested in you either."
"Well I'm glad we got that sorted out," said Luka.

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The day passed uneventfully at work, which was good for Luka as he was taking a double shift. As Dave headed for home he called out to Luka, "See you later."
"Don't wait up," Luka replied.

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Dave was looking forward to having the house to himself for an evening. Not that he objected to Luka's company but sometimes he liked to be on his own. A couple of bottles of beer, an extra-large pizza and a few new videos and this was going to be a great evening.
Suddenly he groaned as he remembered how little money he had in his wallet. He had meant to go to the ATM near the hospital, but now he was over halfway home with not enough money for beer and pizza. Oh well, there was an ATM not too far out of his way.

The ATM was deserted when he got to it. Surprisingly it was working, in spite of all the graffiti sprayed on it. Dave balanced precariously on his bike as he made his transaction. It wasn't until he turned around ready to cycle off that he realized he was no longer alone

Two youths were standing there, blocking his path back to the street. By the looks of them they were junkies and one of them was carrying a baseball bat. Dave swore to himself. He knew this area had a bad reputation for muggings but he had figured that at this hour of the day it would be safe enough.

"Give us your watch and your wallet," ordered the bigger of the two.
"Hell no," said Dave as he suddenly rode straight towards them.
Taking them by surprise, he almost got away but the thug with the bat swung it wildly and somehow connected with Dave's left arm. Dave tried to keep his balance but couldn't. He swerved wildly and then crashed to the ground. Before he could get clear of the bike the two were on him.

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To be continued