A/N: This is a sequel to 'In Confines of Darkness' and it is a cross-over with L&O: SVU. However, you really don't need to read 'ICoD' to read this; I explain everything either through dialogue or flashbacks.

Pairings: B/A relationship

Warnings: This is rated M for so many reasons: violence, language, adults consenting to doing adult things, murder and mayhem, and mention of sexual assault and/or rape.

Disclaimer: If I owned anything remotely in the Law & Order franchise, the last thing I would do is write fanfiction. The only things I own are my created characters.

Summery: "Down by the river, I shot my baby, down by the river, dead." - Neil Young, 'Down by the River'.


Alex Eames' Apartment

Rockaway, Queens

"So, are you going?"

Bobby groaned in annoyance as he leaned his head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. "Don't do this now, please, Alex." He hated the sound of his voice begging, but he really hated the fact that she made him get to that point.

Alex would have normally given him a smart-ass remark; instead, she kept herself calm and serious, making him know that she wasn't going to give in like all the other times. "Bobby, I love you, you know I do, so why are you making this so difficult?"

He pushed himself off the couch and paced around the back of it, in-between it and the wall. "Why am I making this difficult? Why are you demanding this of me?" He could actually feel the moment it happened. As soon as he opened his mouth he felt the ground open up under him and swallow him whole.

Alex stared at him in shock. "You...I can't believe you just said that. Bobby, I'm not trying to demand anything from you. I'm asking."

"Then you need to stop asking because the answer is still no." Bobby nearly yelled as his anger with her for bringing this up, again, flared in his already tired and worn-out body.

They had worked a double, nearly a triple with getting no sleep, well he was the one that didn't sleep while Alex always either went home or bunked-out in the department. For three days he worked to the pressure the Brass was putting on them to solve the case, and they did. Just two hours ago they had gotten their murderer to confess and all he wanted to do was have dinner with Alex and maybe have sex before his body gave out on him. But no! She had to bring this up again.

He never felt so angry, and he couldn't believe he was furious with her. How could he be that angry with the only women he had ever loved?

Alex was just as pissed off as he was, but at least she could control her emotions better than him. "This is important to me, Bobby. Why can't you see that? Why can't you spend a few hours out of your day on Saturday and come and have some fun with my family?"

"You're asking a lot."

"No, I'm not."

"For me you are!" Bobby looked away from her probing eyes. He shook his head that was on fire. It was hard to control his anger when that was the only emotion that felt natural for him to express. Lord knows he had been subjected to it enough.

Alex continued on with her tirade against him as she told him, "I don't understand why you're so against this. You don't come to anything that I invite you to. You didn't come to Christmas, Thanksgiving…"

Bobby sighed and ran a tired hot hand through his hair. She was backing him into a fucking wall and that was why he was being so stubborn. Alex knew that he responded that way when she pushed until he felt cornered. Yet, here they were again, battling out their stubborn wills and warring hearts against each other. "And you know that I always spend the Holidays with my mother."

Alex pointed a finger at him; the gesture was mocking his own habit of doing that to her. "I'm not talking about you visiting your mom. You have every right to be with her, but we can schedule your visits around visits with my family. Instead of coming to my parents after you visit your mom, you go to work."

"Yeah, so that the other guys who have families can go home. Every year I give those guys a break to be with their wives or kids…"

Alex sighed heavily; knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with him with that, she changed tactics. "Okay, I get that. But how do you think it makes me feel when you back off every chance at spending time with the people I care about? Sometimes I'm not sure that you even care?"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Care, about me?" Bobby asked as he crossed his arms over his chest to keep his mind on track and his fist out of the wall.

"Yes, I love you. You're the one that never says it."

She was right; he has never once said those three little words to her. In his opinion, and mind, those words were never enough. And the very few times he had ever said those words they never sounded like the truth or the meaning of them went unnoticed, ignored. It didn't mean that he didn't think it or want it. "I show it to you every damn day, Alex."

Alex stared hard at him and crossed her arms. "Except when you refuse to do this for me." She was quiet for a moment before she asked, "Is this about your family?"

Bobby stilled and jerked his head to be staring at her. "What?"

"Are you afraid that my family won't like you because of them, because of what you think they know? If that's it then you can tell me and we can talk about it."

She had to ask about his damn past again. About his life and secrets and why he was so damn impossible and stubborn. Bobby dropped his head to be staring at the carpet. She wasn't going to let it go, and he was getting sick of this argument. "Alex…"

"Three times. I've asked you three times for the last two weeks to come to my parents' anniversary party and you've told me 'no' all three times. My dad is starting to think that you're--"

"That I'm what?" he asked as he snapped his head up.

"Abusive or something. They're getting worried because you never come around."

Bobby closed his eyes and rubbed at them with his left hand. "Give me some time, Alex."

"Bobby, all I give you is time. When are you going to start giving back?"

That hit him like a tidal wave; it stung at his heart and he went still with shock. Bobby then felt the anger spur again as his fists clenched. "You don't think I've been giving? That I haven't been going out of my way every day to make you happy…to-to thank you for putting up with me?"

"Putting up with you? Is that what you think I've been doing all this time?" When he didn't answer, Alex sighed and rubbed at her face in annoyance. "Bobby, I love and appreciate you--"

"No," he yelled, stunning her. Bobby's voice bounced off the walls and it seemed like it silenced the whole city. "I get it, okay, and I'm sorry for being the man that I am, but that's not going to change. I'm not going to change. I…can't…give you something I don't know how to give. You can't have it all from me." There! He finally said what he had been thinking for weeks, maybe even months now.

Alex was debating that over with a shocked, sad, and confused look in her eyes. "Why?" she quietly asked.

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. He was feeling so exhausted and tired. All this was hurting his head. Why? That was a question he couldn't begin to fathom an answer to. That explanation was all jumbled up in his head and in his heart; it was something that he could never sort out and identify. It just was. All he knew was that it hurt when he tried to figure it out. "I can't explain why. I don't know how to, uh…how to tell you how I-I…I think. I just know that I can't."

"Are you scared?"

Bobby weakly shrugged as he eyed the front door. He had the desperate urge to leave. He said too much already.

Alex started biting on her bottom lip, something she did when she didn't know quite what to say to him. "I don't understand."

"I didn't expect you to." Bobby shook his head as he glanced nervously between her and the door.

"Then," Alex took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "We're right back where we started." She crossed the living room to the bedroom and closed the door.

Bobby stared at it for a long moment before grabbing his keys and leaving.


Undisclosed Location

Her almond eyes were pleading to him, begging him to leave her alone, as tears slid down her face and leaving streaks of mascara from her eyes to the duct tape that quieted her screams. At the fear in her eyes, he felt himself get hard. The look was nearly overwhelming, almost causing him to lose his control. It made him furious that she was testing his limits, pushing him with the way she kept crying.

Without saying a word, he smacked her. The forced caused her skin to break open on her cheek. The tears mixed with blood and he couldn't help but wiping it with his fingers before tasting it. The salty copper taste on his tongue ignited a fire within him as he closed his eyes and savored it.

Soon, he would make her his, and then he would keep her forever his by making sure no one else could ever have her after him. But, not now. He had to wait.

The waiting always made it better.


Mike's Tavern

Long Island City, Queens

"You're being an asshole."

Bobby sighed heavily and nodded in agreement with Lewis's assessment. Yeah, he was, but…but…He had no way of finishing that thought. He was still angry and the scotch wasn't helping his brain anymore than his emotions were. All he knew was that he had hurt her. And that caused him the most painful throb that settled in his heart and head.

"You love her?"

Bobby couldn't look over at his friend so he focused on the amber liquid medication in his glass. "Of course I do," he stated firmly into his drink before he took a sip of it. He did love her, so what was his problem?

"So what's your problem?"

He looked over at Lewis and frowned, wondering if he had read his mind. Nah, he was just asking the obvious. Bobby returned his attention back to the scotch in his hand and rubbed at his temple that was pulsing loudly against his brain.

"You're afraid of commitment."

Bobby didn't respond, but he did give a curt nod before he downed the rest of his drink and gestured for another.

Lewis pushed him on the shoulder as he told him, "You weren't supposed to agree with me! You were supposed to get pissed off and go storming back to Detective Alex and…"

Bobby glared hard at him as he waited for the bartender to refill his glass. "But I am afraid. She scares me probably more than anyone I'd ever met in my life. And…and I don't know what to do about that." His voice was soft and defeated. "I don't know what she wants or...how she could possibly want me to give it to her."

It was the truth. Everything about Alex scared him because he didn't know what she wanted from him. After all this time, he was still confused. It wasn't just her love for him, but it was everything else. Getting into this relationship with her had changed everything in not only his personal life but his professional life as well. It caused everything to become more complicated.

He used to think he was a pretty simple man. Now, he realized he was anything but simple.

Bobby heard Lewis's voice but not the words. He tilted his head down to the left as he peered over at his friend. The confusion was written all over his pain-filled face. He had no idea what Lewis just said.

Lewis took a long drink of the beer before he asked again, "I said, I thought that after a year of being together that you wouldn't be like this anymore. I mean, what are you so afraid of anyway?"

Bobby returned his attention back to his drink. He knew what he was scared of; he knew what terrified him and made him doubt the love of the woman who for the past year and a half he was able to call his partner and lover. He was afraid of her seeing the real him. The man he had kept buried deeply in his damaged soul. But, most of all, he was scared of losing her because of it.

Taking more than enough out of his money clip, he tossed some bills on the bar as he slid off the stool. "Lewis," Bobby said as way of saying 'goodnight' to his friend.

As he turned to leave, he heard Lewis say behind him, "Are we on for Saturday?"

Bobby stopped in his tracks and turned around. "What?"

"Saturday, are you coming by the shop or not? I got the engine for your Mustang, remember?"

Oh, God. He had forgot. That was the reason he couldn't go to Alex's family...thing. For over four months him and Lewis were working on his dream car, a 1967 Ford Mustang convertible. It was nearly complete, all that was left was putting in the engine. Bobby stumbled slightly as he stepped closer to Lewis as he eyed the blurry floor. "I, uh...I don't know. I might be going with Alex. I'll call you."

Lewis, instead of being upset or disappointed, grinned like a little kid. "Don't worry about it. Tell Detective Alex I said 'hi'."

Bobby couldn't believe he just did that. He had turned down getting his car finished to go with Alex to her father's house, to meet her family, after he had gotten pissed off and told her no for the third time in two weeks.

Leaving the bar and heading slowly toward the subway, he shook his head. He hoped Alex realized and understood what she was doing to him, because if she didn't than she could burn him, or make him insane, whichever came first.

It wasn't until he staggered into his apartment thirty minutes later that he fully realized how furious he still was with her. She had come to his place and was waiting for him as soon as he shut his back door.

And it wasn't long before she did what he feared she would; she hade made him go absolutely insane.

TBC…