A/N: I know I should be working on Casey, Are You Doing Okay?, but I keep getting hit with these awesome ideas and they just have to be written…But anyway, this is gonna be pretty angsty and I haven't really written angst before, so bear with me if you could. The song is Angel Taylor's Not Even Human. I suggest you listen to it because it's a beautiful song. And really sad.

It's gonna be in Rachel's POV, by the way. I like writing using the words 'I' and 'me' because I can try and become the character I'm writing. (I should be an actress; I bet I'd be good at it.)


The cold look in her eyes each time she tells me she wants nothing to do with me makes me want to die.

But what makes it worse is that the very next day, without fail, she'll be on my doorstep or at my locker with an apology and endless 'I love you's. It always ends the same; she begs for forgiveness, says she didn't mean it, and I give her what she wants. I give her my heart again with the hope that she won't toss it carelessly under the wheels of another freight train.

This sick routine we've established occurs at least once or twice a week, which is why I find myself sitting on the piano bench after yet another break-up. My fingers are ghosting across the keys as I mentally scan my repertoire of music, searching for the perfect piece that would fit this moment. Tears are collecting in my eyes and flowing freely down my face, but I really can't find it in me to care. My fingers begin to play on their own, and I sing along to the familiar song.

I have been taken before

You're not the first to rob me
Of my peace and my sanity

You've taken all my peace and my sanity

Quinn Fabray is under no circumstances the first person to hurt me. In fact, everyone I have ever known has hurt me deeply at some point. Finn lied to me, the entire Glee club constantly speak rudely of me, my fathers forgot my birthday last year and left me home alone while they went on a lovely cruise together, my mother didn't want me.

However, she is the first to hurt me this way. The first to make me feel as if my entire world could be ripped away at any moment, and I never know if it will be pieced together again or if I will be forced to live the rest of my life as the empty shell of a human being that I become each time she leaves me.

You must have been kidding with that whole romantic love spell

Or maybe I just didn't hear you right
You run over my heart and then ask for it back

You must think that that's alright
Well it's not alright

Will I ever have the strength to tell her what she's doing to me isn't okay? Will there ever come a day when I don't give her back my heart after she's torn it to shreds?

Does she really even love me?

But you're not even human

You're just a lovely idea of one
Who I accidentally loved

And gave everything to become

The girl on the piano bench

Singing all of her tears away

I continually give all of myself to that girl and she continually returns my undying love with harsh words and heartbreak. It's almost as if she has no heart at all. Honestly, how could you knowingly and willingly cause such pain to the person you supposedly love without feeling even a hint of remorse?

And now I'm here in the choir room with tears streaming down my face, bitter lyrics spilling from my lips.

So did you feel sorry for me

Or was I just some charity case that you thought you could save
Well I was better off not ever knowing your name

I was so much better off

I wish for things all the time. I wish my fathers had picked a different small town to call home. I wish I'd never been slushied, picked on, and put down. I wish I had a real friend. I wish I'd never been born.

But more than anything, I wish I'd never met Quinn Fabray.

'Cause you're not even human

You're just a lovely idea of one
Who I accidentally loved

And gave everything to become

The girl on the piano bench

Singing all of her tears away

She ruined everything. My hopes, my dreams, my life, destroyed. It's all I can do to cling desperately to this fake and abusive relationship. I'm far beyond in love with her and she doesn't care at all about me. Without her I'm nothing, but with her I'm dying. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Love shouldn't hurt like this.

I faintly hear the sound of the door clicking shut, but I brush it off. My mind is much too engulfed in the music flowing from my lips and my fingers to pay attention to the world around me.

All of her tears

All of her tears

Away

A quiet sob escapes my lips before I can stop it. This wasn't supposed to be like this.

'Cause you're not even human

No, you're just a lovely idea of one
Who I accidentally loved

And gave everything to become

The girl on the piano bench

Singing all of her tears away

All of her tears

All of her tears

Away

I hold the final note for a few seconds before I completely break down, and to my surprise, I feel two pairs of slender arms wrap around me. However, rather than questioning them, or even finding out who they are, I simply let the two hold me as my body is wracked with heartbreaking, gut-wrenching sobs.

It isn't until a few minutes pass and I hear murmurs of 'it's okay' and 'we got you' that I realize that my saviors are Santana and Brittany. I'd recognize those voices anywhere. I find it rather strange that they are here comforting me and not out congratulating Quinn on destroying me. Well, Santana, anyway. Brittany is a lot nicer than her darker-skinned counterpart. Nevertheless, my sobs don't subside for another 10 minutes or so.

When I finally calm down, the two Cheerios pull back and to my surprise, they are sporting matching looks of concern.

"Are you okay, Rach?" Brittany asks. Santana is asking me the same question with her eyes.

I start to nod, but realize that I've got nothing else to lose and shake my head.

"It's Quinn, isn't it?" she asks, in that child-like, all-knowing voice. I wonder how she manages to sound so innocent and yet so mature at the same time.

I nod and see an angry glint in Santana's eye.

She moves to stand, presumably to find Quinn, but I reach a hand out and grasp her wrist tightly to prevent her from getting too far.

She raises an eyebrow in question and I give her a pleading look. "Stay." I wince at the hoarseness of my voice but can't resist adding, "Please."

She nods and sits beside me. Her arm hesitantly wraps around my shoulders and I melt into her embrace, wrapping my arms around her torso. I shut my eyes tightly.

We sit like that for a while, until Santana gently suggests we all go to my house. When I try to protest, to tell them I'll be fine on my own, Brittany shoots me a glare and says sternly, "There is no way we're leaving you alone like this, Rachel. You'll kill yourself." Any argument I had prepared dies right there with that last statement because I know she's probably right. So I get into the backseat of her car, Santana sliding in next to me and holding me, and we drive off the school campus.


Upon arriving at my house, the uncharacteristically tender Latina ushers me out of the car and up to my front door, where I fumble with my keys. I can't seem to get the damn key to go into the lock because my hands are shaking so badly. Finally, Brittany pries them from my hand and unlocks the door herself. She grabs my hand and pulls me inside, Santana following close behind.

"Where's your room?"

I nod toward the stairs and the blonde girl drags me in their direction. When we get upstairs I see a small smile grace her features as she sees the gold star on my door.

When we enter my room, Brittany sits on my bed and then gently tugs on my hand, staring at me expectantly. Rather than sitting beside her, I crawl up to lay my head on the pillows and stretch my small body down the middle of the bed. The blonde smiles at me and lays herself down on my left. I curl into her side and feel one of her arms wrap around my shoulder and the other hand lacing our fingers together. I can't help but smile.

I feel the bed dip behind me and then warmth on my back, indicating that Santana is behind me, and my smile grows when she wraps her arms around my waist. But I can't help but be curious as to why they suddenly seem to care about me.

"Not to be rude, but why are you being so nice to me? I thought you hated me. I thought you would have enjoyed seeing Quinn break me." My voice sounds so small and broken and I hate it.

A sigh comes from behind me. "We don't hate you. Well, I mean, we did, but that was before you started dating Q. Back when you would fight for solos and make comments about how much better you were than all of us. Back when you had dreams that were taking you places while we all were going nowhere." I open my mouth to protest, because most of the Glee clubbers are definitely going places, but she continues. "When you started dating Q, you changed. You got all quiet and depressed and you let her fucking ruin you. Ruin your hopes, your dreams, everything. You turned into this-this-this lifeless zombie and you just gave up. And yeah, the first few times I high-fived her, but after a while I started to hate her. I hate what she's done to you, Rach. You don't deserve that. No one does." Tears spring to my eyes because that is by far the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. But she's obviously not finished. "We're gonna do whatever it takes to protect you from her. No one else seems to have the stones to stick up for you, which is fucking ridiculous because you'd do anything for us, but we're going to be here for you. Whenever you need us. Okay?"

I want to say 'okay' , I really do, but when I open my mouth to say it, a strangled sob escapes instead and I feel three arms tighten their hold on my frame as I cry once more.

We stay in bed for about 4 hours before there is a knock on the door. Brittany and Santana glance at each other, already guessing who it is, and then we all three make our way down the stairs and to the front door. Santana opens it and snarls when she sees Quinn standing there with a rose in her hand. I even hear Brittany growl from above me and tighten her arms around my shoulders.

"What do you want, Fabray?"

Quinn looks adorably puzzled for a moment, but her confusion quickly morphs into anger. "What are you doing here?" she peers around Santana to look at me. "Rach, what are they doing here?"

The Latina steps in front of her, obstructing her view of me. "We're picking up the pieces. Treating Rachel with respect. Comforting her. Building her up. All the things your heartless ass won't do."

The ex-cheerleader rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I do all of those things. Don't I, baby?" Our eyes connect for a second and she uses that second to flash me a deceptively sweet and loving smile. I'm compelled to say yes, and it takes everything in me not to.

"You don't get to call her baby anymore. You know what? You don't get to talk to her anymore. We're not going to let you hurt her again. She doesn't deserve it. She's in love with you, you fucking heartless bitch, and you only pretend to care about her whenever it's convenient for you and then just tear her apart when it isn't. Well that shit's not gonna fly anymore. I don't care if I have to kick your ass to keep you away, I'll fucking do it. I'll fucking kill you if you even look at her funny, you got that?" Santana growls, and my heart (or what's left of it, anyway) swells just a little. It's nice to have someone who cares and sticks up for you for once.

Quinn looks at Brittany for assistance, her eyes pleading with her fellow blonde. "Britt?"

The blonde in question shakes her head before replying angrily, "No, Quinn. Rachel has done nothing but love you and care about you and all you do is be mean to her. I'm sick of watching her cry over you. You're not worth it. You've never really been nice to anyone. I mean, yeah, San is mean to people, but at least she knows that she's mean. You act like you don't even know you're a bitch and it's stupid. No wonder you don't have any real friends. You're like a robot." Quinn's mouth flaps open and closed several times. No one has ever heard Brittany get this angry with someone. She's usually all rainbows and sunshine and puppies. It's quite surprising to hear the rage in her voice.

Finally, she gathers herself and speaks again. "Rach, just let me-"

But Santana interrupts, her voice dangerously low and dripping with barely concealed fury. "You better get the fuck out of here right now if you know what's good for you, Juno." Her fists are clenched at her sides and she's poised for an attack.

The blonde girl on my doorstep looks between the three of us and then scoffs. "Whatever. I don't need this. Have a nice life, losers." She starts to walk away but stops halfway down the walkway and turns her head to the side. "Oh, and Rach?" she pauses for a few moments for effect. God, and everyone says I'm the drama queen. "San and B are right. I never loved you. I just wanted to break you because I was bored and it sounded like fun. And it totally fucking worked."

Angry tears well up in my eyes. Santana starts toward the blonde on the walkway, who's smirking triumphantly, but I race past her and come face to face with the one person who has always held my heart in her hands. "You're sick, Quinn Fabray. I want you to stay away from me, do you hear me? I don't want to see you at my house, I don't want to see you in school, I don't want to see you in Glee. You've broken me for the last time. Now kindly get the fuck out of here before I call the police."

To my chagrin, she merely rolls her eyes and walks away. I was kind of hoping for a fight. I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared to be blown off completely. That stung more than I'd care to admit.

As soon as her car disappears down the street I collapse in a mess of tears and screams. My two self-appointed guardians are kneeling beside me in an instant, wiping my tears away and holding me tightly and assuring me that everything will be alright. I tell myself I believe them.

But at school the next day, seeing my (she's not mine anymore…though, to be quite honest, she really never was) Quinn hanging all over Finn simply because she knows it'll hurt me (and I can tell because every time she sees me in the hallways or in class, she shoots me this devilish smirk and then kisses him or flirts with him), I know that that is simply not the case. I'll always be in love with her, and she'll always be incapable of feeling.

Quinn Fabray has broken me, and I can never be repaired.


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