A/N: This first sorting is Hermione's, and it also appears in Chapter 3 of Confessions of a Harry Potter Maniac, but here it is without the rest of the background story. Tell me what you think of it, and who you'd like to see next.
Sortings
The Deputy Headmistresses voice called out her name, "Hermione Granger." A moment later a new psyche opened up beneath me.
"My, my. An excellent mind. Clever, witty, well-read, you remind me of Rowena herself." I'd rather not be a Ravenclaw, if you don't mind.
"Why not? Do you have a problem with Ravenclaw? It's a very nice house, I assure you. And you have just the sort of brain to fit in there well."
I don't want to be defined as a 'brain'. I would rather have something else about me noticed for once.
"Well, it does seem to be one of your defining characteristics, you can't blame me for noticing. And it's not like I'd notice you for your body. You seem to be a hard worker and studied, though. Would Hufflepuff suit you?"
I think not. Everyone who isn't in that house and doesn't have a child in it thinks they're wimpodites. And really, that 'just and loyal' bit seems like you couldn't find anything else decent to say about them.
"Now that's not very polite of you. Some great people have come out of Hufflepuff. How about Slytherin? They'd certainly appreciate your brain, and probably find a use for it."
Hmm. I actually hadn't considered that. And it would probably be a nice place for me to pull to the top of. Being extraordinary in Slytherin is rather impressive, and the clever ones there do have a nice advantage. Wait a minute. What are you trying to do to me? Slytherins are evil. It's the house of Dark Magic, and Muggle haters. Are you some sort of sadist?
"I'm not the one putting the thoughts into your head. I just made a suggestion. You are the one who ran with it. Are you really sure you don't want to be in Slytherin? You could be great there, and you could learn all sorts of things it is nearly impossible to learn outside of it."
Ooh. Tempting, tempting. Crud. Do I really want to give that up? I paused for a minute playing some sort of masochistic eeny meeny miney moe between Slytherin and Gryffindor.
"You really want to leave your fate to chance?"
I trust chance more than a beat-up hat.
"Touche. You know better than that. I almost want to put you in Slytherin just to get you back for that. You seem to think it could make you happy."
How dare you. Using a sorting as punishment. Don't you dare do that. I could undo your stitching for that. If you dare put me in Slytherin, you will regret it for the rest of your existence.
"Spoken like a true Slytherin. But still, I knew you wouldn't really like it there. A little too cutthroat for your tastes, I dare say. I'm not sure you could take it."
How dare you. I'm tougher than I look.
"I don't have eyes."
Right. You know what I mean. I'm tougher than most of them are. Believe me, I can take pressure. I can take cunning. I can put up with a lot more than you'd think.
"So you want to be in Slytherin?"
NO! Argh! Stop doing this to me!
"You're doing it to yourself, little GRYFFINDOR!"
