Jacks Thoughts – Tag to Entity
Why want you ever listen?! I tell you what I think is best and you always know better! I told you we should just get rid of it. Cut the power and let it die. But you thought you knew better. "Let us communicate." You said. You and Daniel, always wanting to get to know everything when sometimes it is just best to shot it and be done with it!
I am sorry! I didn't mean to get angry but it is the only way sometimes to make you see what you mean to me. What you do to me when you place yourself in harm's way. I hate to see you hurt. Now you may be to the point where not even you can get yourself out of this. Why must you be so inquisitive? I know it is part of your nature and I love that about you but sometimes it makes me so angry!
I bartered with your life and I lost. I made the thing angry because I threatened its world trying to get you back but it didn't give in. I had to shoot you. Not once but twice. I shot you twice with a zat knowing what it would do but the blasted thing gave me no choice. You lay there with no life signs at all and I can't do a damn thing about it! I am going to sit here and watch you die and I can't stop it! The big bad soldier that I am and yet every time I love someone I am never big or bad enough to save them.
Doc asked me if I know about your desire. If I know about your living well. Of course I know, I was your witness. I knew you said no extraordinary means but she cannot give up. She must give you more time. I beg her for more time! Just a little bit longer. You have to understand – your living will is not mine. I do not want to live without you. Do you have the right to take my life with yours? You who believe so much in machines – believe in them so much that you wanted to give this thing a chance a life and yet you would throw yours away instead of allowing a machine to help you.
Am I angry? You darn right I am! You cannot leave me! I won't all….wait something is wrong. I do not feel you here. You are not in this room – they call for my help and I go. And as I get closer to where it should have all ended to begin with, I feel you. Suddenly I see your name. Somehow you are in the same blasted thing that took you away from me. Hold on, just a little bit longer – hold on! I will do what I can and I will get you back to me.
You said you were shouting. You were shouting for me to hear. I heard my love – no matter how silent your shouts are – I will eventually hear them!
I want to grab you! I want to pull you so close to me that nothing no matter how small can ever harm you again! I want to take you away from here and lock you up in my own little world where only you and I will exist.
I am sorry I got angry but I never want to lose you – I love you Carter – I will love you – always!
