Being what I don't want to be

Author: -abbychansookawaii-

Summary: Syaoran is a cold and rude boy but it's not in the inside. He's rich and spoiled too but Sakura misunderstands him when he says no to her… Oh, I'm spilling too much! XD

A/N: Hey guys! Just wanna tell you that I'm really sorry that I have such a corny title. I really couldn't think of anything. But… Now that you're reading this, I really want to thank you for opening this page! Hontoni, arigato gozaimasu! Ja, enjoy!

~Kangei suru~

Chapter 1

At school

Sakura looked up at the sky. She was nervous again, as usual.

"Sakura-chan, how are things going on with Syaoran?" Tomoyo, her best friend, asked Sakura.

"It's not going well… I can't even face him! The last time I talked to him, I vomited on him!" Sakura sighed.

"How?"

"But you know how already!"

"Just tell me again so that I can remember!"

"But you recorded it!"

"Just say it so that the people who are reading this will know!"

"Fine…"

Flash back

Sakura sat on her chair. Her forehead had beads of sweat. It was obvious, she was nervous again. Syaoran was seating behind her, doing his own class-activity. Sakura was peeping at him through the side of her eye even though she had to turn a bit.

She couldn't tell him. She couldn't even talk to him. What was the matter with her?! She knew this, and she kept on hiding her emotions. One word with him would spoil her relationship with him. Wait, what was their relationship with each other? Nothing. Just plain classmates.

Tomoyo noticed Sakura and giggled. She nudged her on the side of her shoulder and winked at her.

"Sakura, just confess to him!" Tomoyo urged.

"What?! No!" Sakura kept her voice low because the teacher was there.

End of class

"Just tell him at least something!" Tomoyo urged on again.

"I said no!" Sakura shook her head.

"Fine, then I'll tell him." Tomoyo said, walking away.

"NO!" Sakura pulled Tomoyo to her and scowled at her. "Tomoyo-chan!"

"Okay, okay. Just please, talk to him. The sooner the better you know."

Sakura sighed. "I don't want to…"

Tomoyo saw her reaction and then she patted her back. "Oh Sakura. You're still young…"

Sakura glanced at her. "No I'm not!"

"Then talk to him!"

"No!"

"Come on!"

"I won't."

"Yes you will."

"No I won't!"

"Oh you will!"

"Fine!"

"Yay!" Tomoyo danced around. Then she stopped. "Wait! I need to get my camera!"

"Wait, you bring your camera to school?!"

"Yeah! I can't miss any special event of my dear Sakura! OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!" So Tomoyo left her.

Sakura rolled her eyes and waited patiently. After about five seconds, Tomoyo came back.

"So, are you ready?" Sakura asked.

"I'm supposed to ask you that!"

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"So, are you ready?" Tomoyo said.

"Umm, I don't know Tomoyo. Maybe we shouldn't do this…" Sakura said, backing away.

"No, Sakura! You really need to do this. So that in the future, you can get use to talking with him!"

Sakura sighed and walked in the classroom. She saw Syaoran and then she blushed. She looked helplessly at Tomoyo who gave her a stern look. She walked to him gradually, feeling nervous by the moment.

Finally, she reached his place.

"Um…" She stammered as Syaoran looked at her.

"Um… L-l-li-kun… We h-have a… a lovely weather… n-ne?"

"I guess so." He replied.

Sakura sweat-dropped. 'What? That's all…? That's all?!'

Syaoran looked at her then looked at the window, hiding a smirk on his face. 'She likes me. Looks like I have a toy to play with.'

Sakura backed away. "I guess I'll be going… now."

She felt dizzy, then she vomited on Syaoran's face. Including his hair, his mouth, everything!

Tomoyo gasped and ran to Sakura. She pulled her out of the classroom.

They left Syaoran alone, with everybody staring at him. In a minute, everybody laughed at him.

"Damn that girl…" He cursed under his breath.

End of flash back

"Oh! Now I remember!" Tomoyo squealed.

"Yeah right." Sakura replied.

Tomoyo sighed. She knew Sakura for this, but she wanted Sakura to be happy. To have someone to care for her or love her even more than Tomoyo does.

Sakura sighed too. She always blamed herself for being too immature.

"Ugh! What is wrong with me?!" Sakura lied down on the grass beside the tree looking up at the sky filled with clouds.

Tomoyo felt concerned for her friend and thought of a plan.

"Oh, I know! How about if we create a plan for this problem?!"

Sakura sat up. "What do you mean?"

Tomoyo took a deep breath, "You know. How to communicate with Syaoran to make him love you and date you and then marry you and have kids then when your kids have kids, he'll have to buy them clothes and play with them and laugh with them then—"

Sakura interrupted her. "Ah come on Tomoyo! You think that's really gonna happen? We're just in high school for crying out loud!"

"Well, anything can happen!" Tomoyo said with a wink.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

Sakura's house

Her mother, Nadeshiko (spelling correct?) came into Sakura's room and sat beside her bed.

"Sakura, what's wrong? You seem kind of sad and nervous nowadays." Her mother looked concerned for her.

Sakura glanced at her. "How do you know?"

"I'm your mother." Her mom said with a laugh.

"Well… First, you should promise me to never tell anyone."

"Okay, I promise." Her mother smiled.

"Swear?"

"Hey! Swearing is bad!" Her mother scolded.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." Sakura said with a giggle.

"So, what's the problem?"

"Well… I have this crush at school…" Sakura said uneasily with the red mark on her face. She was obviously embarrassed.

"I knew it!" Her mother exclaimed.

"How?"

"I also acted that way when I was a child. Hehe."

"Really?"

"Of course." Her mother smiled.

"Okay… Let's go on with the topic. Umm, well… I can't communicate with him… It's like, whenever I see him, I have this kind of feeling in my heart and especially my stomach… Then when I start talking with him, my stomach hurts so much and my heartbeat pounds so much that I faint… or… should I say, vomit!" Sakura was twiddling her fingers together and had the slightest blush on her face.

Nadeshiko smiled. She knew her daughter's problem. "Oh, Sakura. You love him don't you?"

Sakura's eyes widened. "HOE!!!! Of course not!"

Nadeshiko raised one of her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes on Sakura. Sakura saw this and pouted.

"Fine… I kind of… yeah… maybe I… do…" She said with a blush.

Her mother smiled and hugged Sakura. "Don't worry Sakura. It's normal. The best advice is just to be you.

Sakura glanced at her mother. "What?"

Her mother giggled. "Just be yourself."

"What? That's all?" She asked a bit surprised.

Her mother patted her back. "Yup, that's all."

Sakura was confused. "But, how?"

Nadeshiko smiled. "You'll know… Very soon."

Sakura smiled and understood her mother. "Thanks mom."

Her mother smiled and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Sakura."

She went out of Sakura's room and left Sakura quite happy for herself.

Nadeshiko smiled as she closed the door. She went to her bedroom and saw her husband, Fujitaka (sp?) smile at her.

"What did you guys talk about?" He asked.

"Well, I can't tell you honey." She winked as she walked to the bed.

He chuckled. "Why not?"

Nadeshiko slipped under the covers of the bed and sighed with relief. She felt comfortable under the sheets and she was tired already. "It's a secret sweetheart."

He smiled and sat down beside her. "Are you okay honey?"

"I can manage." She sat up and smiled at him. But then she covered her mouth and coughed.

"I think we should go to the hospital." He said, patting her back.

She glanced at him and shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm really alright…"

She saw Fujitaka frown so she hugged him. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

The next day at school

"Ohayo, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo greeted Sakura as she saw Sakura walking to her locker.

"Hi Tomoyo-chan." Sakura said with a smile.

Tomoyo noticed her smile and smiled. "Oh. So you told someone about…"

Sakura blushed. "Umm, yeah. Kind of."

Tomoyo squealed. "Yes! You told your mom right?"

Sakura nodded. "How did you know?"

"I know your mom. She knows whenever your feelings change. So I'm sure she'll ask you about your problem."

Sakura nodded. "After all, she's my mom anyway."

A teacher passed by and glanced at them. "Daidoji-san, Kinomoto-san. You are late for class. Hurry up and go back to your classes."

"Hai!" They both chorused.

They were walking to the class but Sakura stopped. "Tomoyo-chan… I… feel uneasy… again…"

Tomoyo glanced at her. "Oh come on Sakura! Do you want to get old and regret that you couldn't face him and that you didn't even speak to him?"

Sakura pouted. "No…"

"Then come on! Face the reality." Tomoyo said, pulling Sakura to the class.

Sakura saw Syaoran at his usual seat. He was looking at the window. Sakura felt sweaty at that moment and wanted to run away but Tomoyo held her.

Tomoyo pulled Sakura to her seat and forced Sakura to sit down.

She faced Syaoran and greeted him. "Ah, Li-kun, ohayo."

He turned his face to face them. "Ohayo." He went back to his staring-the-clouds-thingy.

Tomoyo nudged Sakura to talk to him but Sakura ignored her and kept on blushing. Tomoyo sighed and heard the bell ring.

"Tereda sensei's coming!" A student cried as he rushed to his seat.

Tomoyo laid down her hat on her table and looked at Sakura, then Syaoran. She frowned as she saw his expression. Something was bothering him.

Syaoran noticed Tomoyo looking at him and then looked at her.

"Li-kun, anything bothering you?" She asked.

"Doesn't concern you." He said gruffly.

Sakura heard him say it and suddenly felt like defending her friend. She stood up with force. By this time, everyone's attention came to her.

"Hey, you can't say that to my friend!" She said angrily as she faced him.

Syaoran's eyes looked up to her. "Guess what, I just did."

Sakura frowned. She didn't expect him to say that. '… I thought he was nice… I thought he was… perfect…' A tear escaped her eye. Tomoyo glanced at her.

The only thing they didn't notice was the teacher was already there.

"Kinomoto-san, Li-san. Detention, now." He commanded grimly.

Syaoran stood up, with his hands in his pocket and walked coolly, ignoring Sakura as he passed by her. As the door closed, Sakura walked slowly, with her face down.

Tomoyo couldn't stand it. "Excuse me sensei, but it wasn't Sakura's fault! It was actually my—"

Tereda sensei replied. "I don't want any story-telling Daidoji-san. So keep quiet."

Tomoyo looked down. She felt that it was all her fault.

Sakura walked out of the class, seeing Syaoran at a distance. 'I can't help but feeling down… Well, maybe he wants to do revenge because you vomited on him, but… No, that must be too childish for him to do…" Another tear escaped her eye but she wiped it away.

Sakura entered the room after Syaoran did and sat down on a chair. She had to pick the farthest one so that at least she can avoid him. There was no teacher in the class, no students. Only them.

Sakura sat at the end of the room while he sat on the front seat. Sakura sighed in relief. At least nobody will see her cry silently. She cried silently, hoping he wouldn't hear.

Syaoran heard a bit of sobbing and sighed.

"Hey, keep it down will you." He said.

Sakura glanced at him and wiped her tears away. She stood up and walked to him.

"How about if I don't?" Sakura thought about doing revenge.

"You'll cry again afterward." He said, without looking her in the eye.

"Humph. In your dreams."

Syaoran looked at her. Then she blushed. "Sakura, I don't like you."

Sakura gasped and wanted to cry inside. 'No! He's just saying that so that you'll lose! Quick! Defend yourself!'

"Hah! That won't work on me! And since when did I allow you to call me Sakura?" Sakura defended, with her hands on her waist.

Syaoran chuckled. "Well, I can do anything I want, even if I have to punch you right now."

Sakura glanced at him. It's her first time seeing him smile. She blushed… But took control of herself.

"Pig head." He muttered loudly for her to hear.

Sakura huffed. "What?"

"Oh you didn't hear me? I said, PIG HEAD."

Sakura became angry. "I AM NOT A PIG HEAD! YOU… YOU—"

"Most handsome boy in the whole universe."

"Exactly!" She agreed. Completely forgetting about everything.

He grinned.

Sakura widened her eyes after realizing what she said. "No! No! You're the most ugliest, ruddiest, fattest, annoying…" Syaoran looked at her in the eye at the most incredible handsome face.

"Horrible, hottest, cutest, talented, coolest, wonderful, outstanding, brilliant, has the most perfect eyes, admirable, superb, boy I've ever seen in this universe…" Sakura was leaning on his desk after describing some things about him.

Syaoran grinned with that handsome face on him and chuckled.

"Why are you smiling like that?" She asked, lost in her own world.

"Ah… because I'm the hottest, cutest, talented, wonderful, outstanding, brilliant, has the most perfect eyes… and what more?"

"An admirable, superb boy I've ever seen in this universe…"

"Exactly, an admirable and superb boy in this whole universe." He concluded.

Sakura smiled tenderly, still lost in her own world.

Syaoran leaned near her face, feeling each other's breath.

Sakura blushed, parted her lips and closed her eyes, ready for a kiss.

"Yuck! Your breath stinks." He said drawing back.

Sakura opened her eyes and drew back. She had an angry expression.

"I do not!" She shouted.

"Fine, then smell it." He said.

Sakura turned back and used her hand to cover her mouth. She blew her breath and smelt it. 'Eww… I forgot to brush my teeth this morning! And I ate fish! Hoe!'

"Now you see." He said grinning.

Sakura blushed with embarrassment. 'Why does he always win?!'

She turned back to face him. "YOU ARE SOO…"

She walked to her sit. But then remembered something. She walked back to him.

"Oh, what happened to 'You'll cry again afterwards.'?" She smirked.

Syaoran completely forgot about that. 'Crud… Think of something…'

He faced her with a grin. "Fine then… You'll see it tonight at your house."

Sakura, confused, asked him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Haha… Ghosts."

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" She shouted.

Syaoran rubbed his ears. "Ouch!"

Sakura walked with those blue-thingies that usually appear in anime. You know, they are like small-small fires but they are colored blue that follow the head of the character. Gets?

Sakura sat on her seat, scared to death. She too has become blue with misery. She began to cry. "Weh! Okaa-san!" She continued sobbing.

Syaoran smirked. "Hey you started crying! I win!"

Sakura ignored him and continued crying.

Syaoran sighed. 'There she goes again…'

This time, he walked to her and sat at a nearby desk. "Are you really scared of ghosts?"

Sakura sobbed while nodding.

'Even a high school girl is scared of something that doesn't even exist… Or that's how I think of it.' He wondered.

"Come on, shut up pig head."

"Weh!" She continued ignoring him.

"You're being loud."

No results.

'Great, now you caused this.' He thought to himself.

Sakura reached out her hand. "Give me your handkerchief!"

Syaoran chuckled. "I don't have one coz handkerchiefs are for sissies."

Sakura scowled at him.

"But, I can lend you my hand."

Sakura gazed at him, blushing.

Syaoran reached out his hand near her face, but then pinched her nose.

Sakura moaned in pain, trying to remove his hand. "Oww! Leave me!"

Syaoran smirked and took away his hand. He walked back to his seat and sat on it.

Sakura looked at him, frowning because she had a red nose. But then smiled, because she had fun with him.

~RXR~

A/N: Please please please tell me it was good! Well, was it? Oh please… review me okay? I need at least six reviews or I won't continue this. I promise! Tell me freely what you think! And please… No insulting. I've had enough of it. Oh and I'm really sorry if there are any wrong grammar and spellings. I really am excited to update this. Okay… See yah guys!

Love,

Abby-chan.