Title: Confessions
Episode: 3.02 – The Kids Are Alright
Prompt: Dean admits to Sam that he kinda wanted Ben to be his.
Words: 500
The silence in the car was almost deafening to Sam. He knew that whatever had transpired between his brother and fun Lisa who liked surprises, was a lot more than Dean wanted to let on and he had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with her son Ben. An eight year old boy with an uncanny resemblance to his brother.
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
Dean eyed his brother, and then turned his attention back to the road in front of him.
"Dean?" Sam tried again.
"Jeeez, you sound like Dad…anything you want to tell me?" Dean mocked.
Not exactly how Sam meant it to sound, but he could see Dean's point, "That's not what I meant and you know it."
Silence.
"I….look, if you feel like talking about it. I'm here. I want to listen." Sam offered.
Dean shifted in the driver's seat, pursed his lips together, unsure of whether he could admit the truth, even to his brother. All the years that had passed since he'd last seen Lisa, now seemed like a blur. And a blur of what, exactly? Meaningless one night stands? Not that the weekend he'd spent with her hadn't been the equivalent at the time, but now, now his perspective was so much different. Now the regret was so much more.
"I told her it wasn't my life," Dean said finally.
Sam waited quietly for his brother to continue, listening, just as he promised him he would.
"I kinda wished it was though Sammy. Ben was a cool kid. I think I could have dealt with that, with him."
"I hate to play devil's advocate here Dean, but would you really want to bring a son into this life? Force him to learn the horrors of what really goes bump in the night?" Sam asked.
Dean gazed out the windshield for a moment in quiet contemplation.
"Our life isn't perfect, but is anyone's? There are families out there right now living the white picket fence dream and every day they're fighting more vicious demons than what we've ever come across."
"Is Lisa and Ben one of those families?" Sam countered.
Dean shook his head, "Nope. They have a nice life together, and no matter how much I wanted to tell her…to tell her I didn't care if he was mine or not, that I wanted him, that I wanted them in my life. I just couldn't. It wouldn't have been fair."
Sam offered his brother a sad smile, "If it's any consolation, I think you would have made a great dad to Ben."
Dean looked at Sam skeptically, "Really?"
Sam shrugged his shoulders, "You did okay with me. At least I think you did."
"That's not exactly a good argument," Dean returned with a grin, "You do remember what happened in Augusta that summer don't you?"
Sam rolled his eyes, "I would have thought that by now you would have forgotten about that day."
Dean laughed, "You're kidding….right?"
The End.
