Never Give Up
A/N: I am posting this as a challenge on the XOC... not that good, not my best but It is my first challenge anyway.
Enjoy--S.K.
"GABRIELLE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I couldn't believe she would choose to die with her demon spawn, and leave me alone. I looked at the lava filled pit as it churned, it's heat threatening to singe my brows. Callisto was blabbering on about a reason to live. She was happy elated. To late, I had decided to give her what she had been begging for all day. The High would wear off and she would be back to her death wish days. She helped me, so I will help her.
Her cackling ground at my ears I turned and plunged the dagger deep in her stomach. I watched her greatful expression wash over her features as she fell dead.
Joxer crumbled in a heap next to me. His grief sickening him and he wretches on the floor. I felt Ares disappear, as I went back to the edge of that lava pit.
She can't be gone. " She can't be gone." The words finally formed on my lips.
"Come on Xena" Joxer said a few hours later. We sat weeping for hours. I couldn't move. I felt a change and determination in Joxer then. He lifted me up just cradled me like a baby and he walked with me away from that place. I buried my face in his neck as he carried me. I didn't care to be me. I didn't care to be the warrior princess right then. I wanted to just mourn my friend. I had endured so much grief in my life time. "We will find her." He whispered.
I lifted my head, the faith and pain in his voice rousing me out of my grief. I was beginning to remember the depth of his feelings. I pushed off of him and stood in front of him. "She's gone Joxer."
"You can bring her back," He said to me, his eyes pleading with me.
I turned away, "Joxer…"
"Xena I can't live without her." He finally broke down. He walked ahead of me. His shoulders were slumped. He cried silently and dropped to his knees a sob escaping him. "I just can't I just can't…" he kept repeating it over and over again.
I watched him a moment then got on Argo and began to ride away. "I'll find her," I said and kept riding.
I went to Hades to demand that he release her and got nothing. Nothing! But I knew where to go next. I left Argo behind and headed to the land of the Northern amazons, she ahd to be there. This was where I realized there was nothing I could do. I could not relieve Joxer and my pain by bringing Gabrielle back. Not without helping those I had hurt. I had to help the Amazons.
Alti's new power made it difficult for me. I had lived through so much, and survived, but feeling it all at once… I thought I might die. But you can't get rid of me that easy Alti. I killed her Bezerker, but I was going to go after her.
I told the Amazons how I had destroyed their tribe. How I had killed Cyan purely for sport. But they knew I was there to help them. We fought Alti together. Them in me; and Alti showed me my future… It was the best thing ever! Gabrielle was alive! She was to die with me! Now more than ever I had to find her. It refreshed our strengths, and We killed Alti. Love was the only thing that could over come her.
I rode off to find Joxer, He is going to want to be there when I find her. She will need her family with her when we find her.
I found him in a tavern. Consumed by grief and drowning in ale I tried to rouse him out of it, but he had accepted Gabrielle's fate. His original denial completely evaporated.
I left him there I had no time, I had to find my friend. Joxer followed me. He tried to convince me that this was a futile attempt. He doubted what I had seen, but who can blame him no one knows the future. But I did. I saw it and I was going to find my friend. I kept repeating this to myself, my determination growing with each step and my blood raged through me drowning out Joxers complaints.
That night when he attempted to convince me to let my search go, I sat with him a while. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that she is alive?"
He sat next to me and contemplated his answer. I put an arm around him. He needed comfort. "I don't think I can take the disappointment if that vision turned out to be bogus," he told me.
"Maybe it will help if I explained what I saw." I told him everything..
"But if this Alti, is so evil, how do you know he wasn't fabrication the whole vision?" He said. Frustrated, I got up from where I sat.
"Never mind," I said and walked off to the woods alone. I had made my decision, I was going to marry Ares; I had a plan.
The night of the wedding I sat in my room going over my plan in my head. Ares had come to me the night before laughing at Joxer's attempt to talk him out of marrying me. I had not told Joxer what I was planning because he was still in mourning. I needed him to be on the same page with me.
Joxer came to my room that night, in his eyes there was a spark. Finally the same page. I could have kissed him just then. He spoke his concern for me endearing. When we embraced I was overcome by love for him. I kissed him. In our grief and renewed hope, we shared something that neither of us had ever thought would happen.
After, we lay quietly. "This is our secret."
"Like I would go around telling the world I boinked Ares' wife on the eve of his wedding." Joxer said turning away.
"I'm not marrying him." I finally said. I told him of my plan to throw myself down the Lava pit.
"What if it doesn't work?" He asked me.
"Then you go on and find Gabrielle." I said, "She is alive, Joxer, I can feel it now more than ever.
My plan went on without a hitch. That is until I was forced to give Ares my soul. I took Joxer to the edge of the cliff at the Agean, only he and I knew of all that had happened. And only I knew where the scroll and contract had been placed.
There was one more thing to do; find Gabrielle. I would never give up. Neither would joxer. We traveled for weeks to get to Potedeia. It was the only place I could think of that Gabrielle would go.
Sometimes Joxer and I would get close again, as we had the night of the wedding. It happened several times, and it began to feel more, natural. But we were both releasing energy. It was a comfort thing. But our bond began to get stronger. I began to feel how irreplaceable Joxer was in my life.
Rhen we stepped in to Potedaia, and I was sure this would be where I would find her. And it didn't matter what happened there, I knew that I would find her there. Then I turned around…
