Dean's Dreams

When Dean was 3 yrs old, he dreamed of being Christopher Robin and romping through the woods with Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Of course, his Winnie had a big truck to drive and Piglet just loved riding along singing happily. Mary laughed at her son's antics, trying to drive the truck down the stairs with Winnie and Piglet precariously sitting on top. The sun shone off her little boy's head like a halo and the cherub face would look up and smile, all pink cheeks and large green eyes.

When Dean was five he dreamed of smoke and monsters. Fire beasts that ate up mommies and burned down houses. He rode silently in his daddy's car, large haunted eyes staring blindly at the ever changing landscape. Little Sammy's whimpers in the back the only noise in the big dark car that Dean had come to perceive as home.

When Dean was fifteen he dreamed of girls with soft blond hair and blue eyes. He felt desire and anguish and a need that couldn't be voiced. He ate by himself silently in the cafeteria, weary, wary eyes darting around, always in search of that something that would tell him if there was anything wrong. He didn't see the hungry looks of confused admiration from the boys and the open desire of the girls who eyed his quiet reserve.

When Dean was 18 he dreamed of college and life as a scientist. Physics and math were his forte, and an active imagination had won him the Science Project Fair's first prize. The open future called, enticing and seductive. The day he graduated, John packed them up and drove them away. Dean watched his dreams from the rear view mirror and said good bye.

Dean hasn't had any dreams since then. The hunting life didn't allow for visions of a future that would only end in smoke, and happiness that was too fleeting and obscure.

At 22 Dean watched as Sam walked out to follow his own dreams. At 26 Dean saw Sam's dreams destroyed in fire and madness.

Dean dreams again, once in a while. Tentative dreams of hope in a future where he and Sam can get out of this mess alive. He looks deeply in Castiel's eyes and sees a promise of peace. Maybe dreams can still come true.