The Distance of Love

Written by Serena and Penny

Short summary: This story begins taking place during the episode "Home is Where the Heart is", however through the magical use of writer's freedom, Ren and I have taken it under our priviledge to alter the events slightly...we hope you enjoy...


Chapter One

Rainbow squares were cast about the walls as light traveled through the prisms of various perfume bottles. Running her finger lightly along the outline of the crystal, Michaela stared blankly at the shimmering glass. Everything was just as she had left it. Coming home wasn't supposed to feel this way… she had thought she missed Boston; perhaps she had just been missing the memory of Boston. Boston used to represent everything that was safe; her father was safe. Now he was gone, and so was the Boston she remembered. The fire cackled brightly in the fireplace, sending shadows dancing across the walls. There was something so inexplicably calming about watching a fire; unfortunately, on this night Michaela Quinn could not be so easily comforted. She let out a deep sigh and sunk down on the soft mattress. The iridescent flames cast elongating shadows onto the ceiling and walls, hypnotizing Michaela as her mind drifted to the day's tiring events.

Mother was well. She didn't have cancer. Hepatitis was curable, and it wouldn't be too long before she was fully recovered. That was all that mattered. Michaela had accomplished everything she had set out to achieve on the current trip, her mother had her health back, so why wasn't she happy? Sully… a shiver traveled throughout her body as she thought of his name. "What's in a name?" Michaela breathed, smiling to herself as she remembered the Shakespearean verse. "Oh dear Juliet, if only you knew what a simple name can mean." For it was that name that made her heart skip a beat upon hearing it, that name that seemed to capture her mind and trigger a realm deep within her. Michaela shook her head in a vain attempt to dislodge the improper thoughts residing there. She should be ashamed of herself, it was so wrong. However, regardless of how hard she tried, she couldn't quite expunge the stubborn trace of a smile fixated on her exhausted face.

Sighing softly, Michaela rose from her relaxed position and walked swiftly across the room to her armoire. Gently swinging the door open, Michaela began to undo the buttons that ran up the front of her satin gown. Removing the elaborate top, Michaela reached for a spare hanger, but paused momentarily when something on the floor of the wardrobe caught her eye. Reaching down for the mysterious object, Michaela's hand skimmed across light blue fabric, and she instantly recognized what it was. Pulling back, she revealed a lovely pale-blue gown. There was nothing extraordinary about it, although it was quite charming. Michaela's lips pursed together, her thoughts tangled in emotional intricacy. The dress held in her hands did not hold a vast amount of meaning, other than it was her grandest dress from Colorado Springs. Back in Colorado, it was a garment she wore on rare occasions; yet in Boston, it was left forgotten on the floor of a cabinet, viewed as rubbish in the same regard much of her life in Colorado was beheld. She gently placed the gown on the bed and finished donning her night apparel. Crawling underneath the covers, Michaela lovingly fingered the fabric of the dress; a deep nostalgia crept into her mind as she wistfully reflected upon all the lighthearted memories she associated with the simple article of clothing. Michaela leaned against the headboard and brought the dress up to her cheek, it even smelled like Colorado Springs. She inhaled deeply; instantly overcome with homesickness. She was homesick in Colorado, and homesick in Boston…she didn't know where she truly belonged. How was it possible for her heart to be pulling in two completely opposite directions? Boston was her home… even Sully had told her that where she was born would always have a pull on her. Yet Colorado was her home, she had her practice, she had a homestead, she had independence…she had Sully. She wanted to be in both and neither at the same time.

"What is wrong with me?"

Michaela sighed, feeling tears well silently in her eyes. She felt ridiculous for crying over a fallen dress, but the affair nagged at her heart as nothing ever had before, and she found that she was unable to hold in the emotions. Feeling her eyes droop and sleep take her, Michaela began to nod off into a peaceful sleep. But her slumber was suddenly interrupted by a loud rapping on her bed room window.

Michaela's eyes flew open as she jumped from her resting position, causing the dress, which once lay across her lap, to flutter to the ground, landing in a heap at Michaela's feet. Her peaceful reverie shattered, Michaela self consciously tugged her robe tightly around her slight frame and moved cautiously towards the window. She drew back the curtain and looked down upon the dimly lit street. From the black pools emerged a shadow. The shadow transformed into a recognizable being as he stepped into the soft glow under a streetlamp.

"William?" Michaela exclaimed incredulously, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry Michaela. I didn't mean to frighten you. All the lights were off and I wanted to ensure your family wasn't disturbed. I had to see you. I had to make sure you were alright; today has been a very trying day after all."

"Yes, I know." There was a brief pause, "Thank you for your concern William."

Michaela fidgeted with the sash of her robe as the brief pause elongated and grew increasingly awkward, "Mother will be coming home from the hospital tomorrow morning," she cleared her throat, "We should both get some sleep. As you said, it has been a very trying day."

She watched as his shoulders and entire form dropped in disappointment and humiliation. As sorry as she felt for his embarrassment, the entire situation was absurd and just as awkward for her.

"Well…good night then, William…I'll see you tomorrow!" She stated in an overly bright voice.

He merely nodded and turned to retreat to the direction from whence he came, too distraught to speak. Michaela gazed after him, flabbergasted by the entire encounter. But what was she to do? Invite him up into her bed chamber? Absolutely not! Michaela thought aloud as she latched the window shut and hurried to her bed.

Sinking down into the soft mattress and feather-light pillows, Michaela lay her troubled head to rest, attempting to forget the ache that riddled her heart and soul. At last her eyes drooped, and she fell into a sleep filled with mysterious and mystifying dreams.
Dreams of a home, a home neither here nor there, but a home all the same. When Michaela awoke, her memory of the details of her surroundings in that pleasant dream would be encompassed in an ever growing haze, until they disappeared all together. However, the feeling of complete inner tranquility it brought when she awoke would stay with her indefinitely. For the first time, Michaela experienced what it was like to be at peace with herself, and no longer alone.


Sully lay on his back gazing up at the stars. It was so easy to become lost in the infinite expanse of the western sky; it kept things in perspective. The reminder that he was one insignificant being in a universe beyond his comprehension or control was comforting and terrifying at the same time….a bittersweet notion, like so many things in life… pleasure and pain coinciding. The sole drawback to losing himself in moments of solitude such as this one, was the obstinate way his thoughts always veered towards that forbidden part of his mind he tried his best to keep under lock and key. For years, thoughts of Abagail and Hannah had spilled out of that padlocked box whenever he gazed up at that sky. Recently however, and especially in these last few weeks, his thoughts had turned to another person he was finding himself increasingly drawn to.

Dr. Mike and the kids had been gone for weeks; he missed them all. Sully had always considered himself a loner, he didn't enjoy being around other people any more than most other people enjoyed being around him. He had never realized how much Dr. Mike and the kids had changed things until they were gone. The absence of Dr. Mike's smile and Brian's childlike enthusiasm made him feel empty…lonely. When had he become so attached and dependent on their company? Here he was in his safe haven, alone as he liked it, and yet he couldn't get his mind away from the people, or, if he were to be honest with himself, woman, who had done nothing but turn his life upside down since she arrived.

He sat up and absently stoked the fire he had made earlier. He heard a twig snap behind him and stood quickly, his hand already instinctively hovering over his tomahawk. Recognizing the identity of the intruder, Sully relaxed and moved towards him.

"Cloud Dancing."

"Ha'ho."

They greeted each other and sat said by side near the flickering flames watching them move in the wind. A comfortably silence ensued for a few moments before Cloud Dancing spoke.

"You are troubled."

Sully opened his mouth to answer in the negative, then closed it again as he realized it would be a futile move; instead he nodded silently.

"It is difficult to forget a person like Dr. Mike."

"It ain't that," Sully replied shortly. Cloud Dancing only raised an eyebrow,

"It ain't just that." Sully amended.

"I have noticed a great change in you since she has been here, and another since she has been gone."

"I ain't ready to change yet."

"It is too late. You know this as well as I do."

Sully sighed. "Well what do ya want me t'do about it?"

"Only you can decide what to do, but do not let fear cloud your judgment."

Sully sighed again and lay flat on his back once more; losing himself for the second time that night in the wonder of it all, marveling at it's ability to be so empty and so full at the same time.


"Now mother! You must understand, just because you have recovered from the hepatitis, does not mean that you are fully well!" Michaela pleaded again with her arrogant and stubborn mother.

"I tell you Michaela, I have never felt better in all of my days! And I refuse to spend another day in a retched bed!" Elizabeth proclaimed.

Michaela rolled her eyes, weary from her mother's constant obduracy. "Mother, you will stay in bed if you wish to live another day! After such a disease, your body is weak and incredibly vulnerable to other illnesses and infections!" Just as Elizabeth was about to object again, Michaela ceased her comment. "Mother! Those aren't requests, they are orders!" With a last stern glare, Michaela picked up her medical bag from the bed and walked across her mother's bed chamber with as much distinction and stateliness as she deemed possible.

Just as she reached the door, Elizabeth called out coldly. "And whose right was is to give such orders?"

Michaela stared at the grain of the mahogany door, controlling her raging spirit and collecting both thoughts and words, before they flew from her mouth. Sighing softly, Michaela turned to face her mother one more time. "Your doctor's….and more importantly, your daughter's."

Without another word, Michaela left the room, leaving Elizabeth with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company.

Leaning against the wall just outside the door, Michaela sighed heavily. She had hoped that after her mother's recovery, perhaps they would have finally found an understanding of one another. However, it seemed that this idea was no more than a hopeless dream, destined to fail. Such futile dreams had come so often to Michaela in the past, yet less so since her arrival in Colorado…. Her new life, her clinic, her children, those were all a far cry from failure, and it was no dream.

Footsteps climbing the hardwood staircase echoed down the corridor. Michaela quickly stood up straight and did her best to compose herself. The rage that was all consuming when she fought with her mother always left her feeling completely drained in the aftermath of the argument. As the top of a head appeared by the banister, Michaela finally reigned in control of her emotions; she was the master of the masquerade. She could not help but feel a little annoyed when William's face appeared before her; he was a good man, but sometimes it was nice for one to simply be left alone to their thoughts. William however, interpreted the look of annoyance to be one directed at Elizabeth.

"Stubburn, your mother, isn't she?" he inquired with a smile on his face.

Michaela returned his smile with a slight, tight one of her own. "Yes I suppose she is. She is also, of course, in her professional opinion, completely convinced of her own good health, and adamant she has no need for my assistance."

William walked across the carpeted floor and closed the short gap between the two of them. "Perhaps if I…"

"No." Michaela cut him off quickly. "No that's quite alright. She needs to rest, and I don't intend on giving her any say in the matter. All I want is for her to get well and if she can't see that…"

It was William's turn to cut her short. "Like mother like daughter."

For the first time that morning Michaela's mouth broadened into a genuine smile, and she chastised herself for her previous thoughts of ill temperament toward William. He was incredibly kind to her, and what was more was that he accepted her, both as a woman and a doctor.

"Yes, so I've heard…actually I do remember on one occasion, it was my father who said similar words to a colleague. I must admit, it was the only thing he ever said that caused me to be truly angry with him, for I wanted nothing to do with my mother's ways at the time…"

"But now…" William pushed Michaela to continue, eager for the opportunity to converse with her on a more personal level; desperate to form a connection with the amazing woman standing in front of him.

"Now…now I suppose that I see his point. I am very much like my mother, and…and in so many of those ways, I'm proud of it. While her inherited stubbornness has gotten me into quite a few disputations…" Michaela paused as William and she both chuckled slightly over the understatement of 'a few' before continuing cheerfully. "…she has, however, given me my greatest characteristic…"

"Oh, and what is that?" William asked, glowing at his chance to have such a conversation with this lovely woman.

Michaela looked at her hands momentarily, before glancing up at him with a small smile. "She's where I received my strength…some might still call it stubbornness, but it's that same strength and stubbornness that allowed me to reach where I am now in life."

"And where are you?" William asked, somewhat boldly.

Michaela leaned against the wall and thought of her life back in Colorado; remembering the joys and relationships she had built there. "Within two years, I've set up a practice of my own, been blessed with the opportunity to raise three beautiful children, created friendships that I know will last a lifetime, and…"

"And…?" William pushed as Michaela trailed off.

But Michaela felt ridiculous for even considering the prospect that she may have met someone who could care for her; perhaps even some one who could love her, as she believed she was beginning to love him. She knew not if this was true, and at the moment, he was on the opposite side of the country; thinking of him now would do her no good. "And…I'm happy. What more could I ask for?"

William bit his tongue, knowing exactly what else she could ask for and also feeling that he could provide for that request. "Well, if that's what pleases you…" Michaela's cheeks grew crimson at his statement, inferring the obvious meaning. Seeing that he had embarrassed her, William quickly continued, hoping to soften the possible damage he had caused. "Well, would you care to join me on my rounds of the orphanage today? I'm sure they would appreciate your assistance, as would I."

Seeing the kind plea in his striking eyes, Michaela smiled and nodded, agreeing to the invitation. "Yes, I'd love to William. Let me just go fetch my cape."

William smiled broadly, overjoyed by her concurrence. "Splendid! I'll wait in the foyer then…"

Michaela smiled and nodded before walking towards her room. She was relieved that William had not been brash enough to attempt to follow her to recover her coat, unlike his forward behavior the previous night. Opening the door into her bed chamber, Michaela quickly spotted the black wrap lying across the lounge chair. Quickly grabbing it, Michaela began to retreat back into the hall. Just before she departed, Michaela's eye caught the pale sky colored fabric of her formal dress from Colorado. Pausing briefly, Michaela's thoughts wondered back to her ponderings and dreams of late; sighing softly, she brushed off the Colorado dreams before heading out the door to her awaiting gentleman.