The Epitome of Idiocy


"Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind." – Kevin "Malcolm" Doyle, 27 Dresses


Foreword: Of Introductions and Similar Formalities
In which the stage is set and the players introduced, and it is quickly established that this story is neither uncomplicated nor drama-free (because, after all, where would be the fun in that?).


In the end it was decided that if only one person was to be blamed for the entire ordeal, then that person was little Abuelita Isabel. The decision hadn't come about after hours of analysis and scholarly debate, naturally, and instead was more of a commonly understood and mutually agreed upon fact, if only because Isabel Vega was a darling old woman who was undoubtedly the very personification of everything good in the world, and the mere idea of such a sweet lady even thinking some remotely malicious thought was laughable simply on principle. Some of her closer relations, of course — particularly those more inclined to believe in such things as superstition and the paranormal — argued that Isabel had known what was to happen all along, thanks to the gift of foresight she had inherited from her gypsy ancestors, but their rationale was considered eccentric, at best, and even the old woman herself insisted that whatever ability she may have possessed was, at best, minimal.

Ultimately, it all proved to matter very little at all, because the story of Isabel's role in the whole thing was always the same, regardless of whom you asked: while on her daily walk early one cool September morning, Isabel had made the spontaneous decision to change the route she'd taken every day without fail for the last thirty-four years, which in turn led to a series of strange and unexplained events (including the involvement of an older gentleman who claimed to be a vendor of fine cacti and pineapple and similarly prickled and spiny feats of botanical wonder) all of which resulted in the youngest of Isabel's grandsons volunteering to oversee the affairs of her restaurant while she spent the next few weeks recovering from a broken hip.

The rest of the tale, unfortunately, had a tendency to change, depending on the person you asked, but rest assured, for what you are about to read is, for the most part, nothing but the truth of what eventually came to be known as the greatest love story known to humankind. Or, rather, what could have been known as such, but was kept under wraps for a very long time due to the threat presented by a series of lawsuits and the looming danger of an international scandal potentially presenting itself to the public eye. At least, that's what I eventually came to understand when trying to pinpoint why this story was kept from the public for so long — personally, I'm inclined to believe that it really had nothing to do with such grand affairs as international crime and scandal whatsoever, but more along the lines of... well, I suppose I'll let you decide that for yourselves.


Notes

And so it begins — that is to say, the beginning of that "Aleheather business AU" I've been talking about nearly nonstop (on tumblr, at least) for the last month and a half or so. Then again, the entire premise of said AU has changed completely since I first began planning it, but whether or not that ultimately proves to be for the good of the entire fic proper is up to you to decide. However, the basic premise, at least, has stayed mostly the same despite the continued revisions in that both Heather and Alejandro, for all their scheming and strategy, find that this strange concept of "love" is creating a considerable and noticeable problem in all their well-made plans. Whether or not either of them are so quick to refer to this new sensation as such, however, still remains to be seen.

Because this chapter functions only as a preface, rest assured that subsequent installments won't be this brief or seemingly unrelated. As the author, however, I do still have a few more tricks up my sleeve, though in that department I suppose it really is only up to me to see that I follow through with them. Wish me luck.

Critique and feedback of any sort is, as always, greatly appreciated. Merry Christmas, and thanks once again for reading — I hope that whatever is yet to come meets everyone's expectations.

This chapter was originally posted on December 25, 2013.