a boy with a stolen heart November 17, 2008

Note : AU, one shot, ghost-story, just a thought….

Warning : …it sounded more sappy than when saru typed it after saru reread it again, just in case you don't like saps; deathfic

Disclaimer : Gundam Wing and its characters are not saru's; sorry for making Quatre like the most spoilt child in the whole world, but that thought kinda appealing somehow..

The winds blew the frozen air with flakes of snow danced silently down to the white grounds. Duo stared at the bleak sky, the snow didn't felt cold anymore, it ran through his body just as the freezing breeze did. He stared down at his body; the black clothes he wore didn't have a single white fleck of snow on it; looking further down, he didn't see the footprints of his own on the thick fresh snow. Some white shavings fell through his head, he saw as those flakes traveled down without a sound, he lifted his hands trying to catch them; the dusty snowflakes penetrated his hands without him feeling it.

He knew it when he opened his eyes to the stranger's scenery and not feeling the cold anymore that he's dead.

A white bird with black tail chirped on a branch above his head, its black round eyes seemed to be able to see him, cocking its head to the sides over and over as if asking him questions he couldn't understand.

(…I don't understand what you're saying…!) he said to the curious bird.

The bird nodded its head up and down vigorously, its movement made a little snow fell from the branch; it jumped several times along the stem, flicked its tail a few times then flew away. The swaying branch dropped some more snow down with a faint thump. Duo stared as the bird disappeared from his sight, hidden by the bleak scenery.

A gush of winds calling out to him, he couldn't felt it with his body, but somehow he knew the wind carried the smell of blood in it. It swirled around him as if enticing him, his mind pictured that the winds played with his hair, but his hair was untouchable now, just as his body.

The strange feeling made him smile at the irony, he used to hate the freezing winter, but somehow he liked the winds; now he couldn't feel both. The swirling winds went back to where it blew behind his back, Duo stared at the direction with a smile of curiosity; he could swear that the winds was there only to call him to follow it, kind of like a dog or a cat would do. He chuckled in his heart, being a stray-spirit may have caused him to imagine things; but he thought to himself that it's okay; ghosts should have things like poltergeist or something, right? So it's okay to be delusional when you're dead, right? No one would accuse him being crazy, anyway…

So he walked to the direction pointed by the winds, looking down behind his back he confirmed it again.

(Yep. No footprints…!), turned his head forward still looking at his feet he noticed that they stepped on an invisible grounds, untouched by the uneven fresh snow and remnants of bushes. The sound of the chirping bird made him looked up again. He widened his eyes…

In front of him stood a glorious tree with wide long branches spread like a giant umbrella, he wasn't sure what kind of tree it was, maybe evergreen or something like….waringin was the name..? But wasn't such a tree shouldn't grow in this part of hemisphere? Besides, he only ever saw it in picture books of safari or story books; a tree this big, with black barks intermingling into one and leaves made of snow, exactly what a fairytale book would picture it.

The chirping sounded more varied, Duo widened his smile as he noticed more birds on the white cover of the tree; there was so many pairs of small eyes staring at him, he'd heard that animals could see spirits and such, but to experience it himself was mesmerizing; like a magic. He laughed as his heart lifted with a strange relief.

(…haahahahaa…it's great! How are you doing, little friends?) Duo waved his right hands at the birds, they cocked their heads almost in unison; it brought another series of laughter from him.

The blood-scented winds came swirling around his feet again, twisted in a wide half circle around the tree's ground and disappeared behind the tree trunk. Duo blinked, his smile died down from his lips, the air felt hurting for a moment; he brushed it off, it's not like he could feel pain physically anymore. Walking around the tree trunk reflexively minding the twist and twirling roots on the ground, he looked around curiously. The sight of a figure sitting on the root leaning to the tree trunk made him jump back, if he's not already positive that he's dead he might say that his heart blew up in his chest by the surprise.

Waited several seconds, Duo bent his body to take a peek at the person; judging from the clothes he was sure it was a guy, probably a teenager; he was sitting with face half covered by his long unruly bangs, his head tilted upward a little at a comfortable angle leaning on the frozen trunk, as if savoring the quiet scenery alone, the wide tree branches shielded him from the snowfall. Duo blinked again; was it normal for someone to be out here in the middle of nowhere in the winter?

His eyes traveled further to the snowy ground around that figure, he didn't see any footprints either. That's odd, how did you get here, flying..? His mind talking to himself; or maybe the guy had been here for a long time that the snowfall already covered his tracks…?

Duo bent further, reflexively hid behind the trunk even though he knew that no one could see him anymore…just in case..!

The guy wore a thick jacket, his hands were on his laps in a relax pose, there were snows on his legs so that might showed that he was walking to get there. But how long would someone be savoring such solitude without freezing in this kind of weather..? Or…unless you came here, and fell asleep to death….?

Duo bent more, if he's still using his body he was sure that he'd break his waist; squinted, although it didn't really matter whether he did it or not, and tried to see clearly of the figure's face. The winds blew again from behind his back, swirled and went to the figure's body, playing with his long bangs, or so he thought; he'd imagined that the dark locks will fluttered and swayed by the winds, but they didn't. His hair was stiff frozen hanging from his head. Duo blinked again, a little fear crept in his heart; how long did it take for someone's hair to get frozen in the open in winter…?

Walking slowly to where the figure sat, a red line at the side of the figure's face caught his eyes. It was blood, trailed from his temple where the wound was covered by his hair. Duo stopped about three meters from him, squatted down; he tried to peek if the figure's face looked dead. But, no; his eyes closed, indeed, but he looked like he was sleeping.

The winds came swirling around him for the –nth time, there was something flowing through his core, if he's still alive he'd say that his heart skipped a bit. Touched his own face with his hands, he couldn't make sure if he was blushing or not; but it felt like it. Clearing his throat once, he ran his fingers through his hair; that's what he used to do when he was nervous, he realized it.

Another bird flew from behind him, landed on the figure's shoulder; it chirped rapidly, with long calling sound at the ends; but the sleeping guy didn't get disturbed.

Duo's eyes drooped; …so, he's dead, too…!

A biting feeling clawed at his heart, he didn't know why, or how. He didn't even knew the guy sitting by the tree trunk, died savoring the scenery alone. Or maybe he was a suicide blowing a hole through his own head while no one was looking… That thought made him whimper, he didn't know why he regretted it, it's not like he could do anything about it, anyhow….just because he thought the guy was quite attractive….

The birds chirped in unison, each bird chirped its own song; he didn't know what to make of the varied choir anymore, it was just a wave of flooding chirping sounds.

Duo stood and continued to walk to where the figure was sitting; he thought, since it was such a coincidence –or was it?- that he was dead, maybe he could befriend the guy as dead people…maybe…since he couldn't meet him when the guy was still alive…even in the form that he was now as a stray-spirit…..would he stop him from killing himself if that what happened..?

He couldn't help thinking those questions…With eyes closed –not that he would trip over something, he thought- he stopped at a respective distant where his awareness' eyes (1) saw it from a higher view that it was just a couple steps further to the sitting figure.

Duo waited for several seconds before he opened his eyes, so very slowly; at least he could boasted to what-ever-spirit he'd meet later that he'd experienced a love-at-first-sight while he's still down on earth, his mind whispered. The sight of his feet, not touching the grounds, that's what greeted his eyes as he was still looking down. Under his feet were dark roots intermingling with themselves in dead locks, dark red colored with speckles of snowflakes on it like a sugar-topping on a mug of hot chocolate.

…dark red….

…blood..!

The guy's blood pooling and spread on the roots' surface, seeped through the root's cavities and dirt, half covered by the snow carried by the winds.

He wanted to cry….

But he dared his eyes to scrutinize the figure sitting under his sight, just traveled his eyes forward little by little; the dark blue long jacket was opened at front, its dark color didn't show much of the blood color on it, but the white furry layer of its inside showed the red color boldly.

He wanted to cry..!

The winds blew again, harder, colder; not like he could feel it, though. The birds didn't stop chirping; as if singing a choir of a requiem in an alien language.

..God, he wanted to cry…!!

Like a fallen dark red flower; a boy sleeping with his chest cut open, missing his heart…blooming under a snow-covered glorious tree.

Duo fell to his knees, even though he couldn't say that he'd lost his strength, any longer; if only he could cry….

He lifted a hand, traveled his fingers along the boy's cheek, he saw a dark bruise there; he couldn't touch him…

(…you fought, didn't you….? You fought for your life…) he whispered.

…he looked like he was only sleeping, savoring the solitude of the winter scenery…undisturbed, alone…

(…who stole your heart..?) It was a clean and neat cut; a professional's work.

(…who did this to you…..?)

He couldn't cry…

(…can't you tell me…? Anything…?!)

He couldn't cry anymore…he had a relatively happy life; he didn't cry about himself being dead, as sudden as it was… He found that he couldn't cry for…..-

(Hey….., Stolen-heart Boy…), so he smiled instead…if only that boy's spirit was still around; he could at least ask for his name…..

Duo chuckled with a pained sound; so someone, somewhere, is using his stolen heart to prolong their life, isn't it..? Could he condemn them for wanting to live so desperately?

He couldn't cry…. for a boy, beautiful as a flower, with a stolen heart…. A little part of his dark mind felt grateful for his death, even as cruel as it was, that the murdered-boy wouldn't meet anyone anymore; because he himself was dead, he couldn't meet him in person if the boy lived.

(..hey, at least…) he paused to swallow his bitterness, (..at least we're both dead….!)

…and someone, somewhere, had his stolen heart beating in their chest….not knowing such a beautiful life they'd slain brutally.

Someone, somewhere, he wouldn't want to know….

---------------

The beeping sounds heard like a comforting soothing song; the spacious room filled with only those high-tuned beeping, and the sounds of the respiratory devices. The butler took a peek from the door that he opened slightly; the room was dim as the heavy curtains were down, his Young Master said that the person in bed didn't like too much sunlight while he's sleeping.

Walked without a sound on the thick carpet, the butler whispered to his Young Master that was fast asleep with body bent on the edge of the bed.

"Master Quatre… Sir, you are going to get sick if you're sleeping like this for days…!" the old man whispered with his gentle grandfatherly voice.

A gentle pat on his shoulder woke him up in a start, the dim room felt too bright for his sleepy eyes; Quatre squinted and covered his eyes with the back of his hand. "..Yes.., Mr. Wren…?"

"You should rest properly; the doctors and nurses are here 24-hours a day, Master Quatre..!" the old man smiled at the sight of his Young Master dabbed at his sleepy eyes like a child.

"Yes…No, I want to be here when he wakes up..!" His blue eyes looked exhausted but shining with a strong hope; the butler nodded.

"But you wouldn't want to make Master Duo worry when he does, would you, Sir..?"

"…..no..! I'm fine, and I look fine, Mr. Wren…!" –for the time being, his mind admitted.

"Well, then…should I arrange for a sofa in here where you could lie down, Little Master..?"

The blond boy pouted a little at the title, he's not a little child anymore, he wanted to retort; but the offer sounded good. "Alright..!"

"Very well, sir…!" the butler nodded and went out of the room; not even two minutes later the Little Master found that the sofa was a heaven for his tired body; that, and some pastries and a mug of hot chocolate with sugar-topping on it, like floating snow…

He made a toast to the direction of the bed's occupant; "…Wake up sooner, Duo, or I'll get fat from finishing your share like this..!" he said softly with a smile.

The manor was set high on the mountains; he'd never seen the world by himself, being the youngest child of 30 siblings and the only male heir to the family, his parents sheltered him more than anyone would to protect their children. Being a strong empath since birth made it worsen the situation; when he's still a little child, only the presence of a stranger in the vicinity could drive him to a hysteric fit. His parents made that manor as his fortress, granting his every wish even if they had to play with the laws.

They bought him a boy of his age to company him when he was 5; they told him they'd adopted the boy, but they really bought him with money from the orphanage; to own the boy and to erase his existence from the earth's surface. He was a boy with such soothing air around him, that's what had made his parents picked him; that's what made the Little Master addicted to him, craving his company like an antidepressant; he'd go extremely agitated if he couldn't see the boy even for only a day.

It's been more than 10 years, their twisted solitary lives had knotted to the extent of inseparable; but still, even until now, not once that he'd asked that boy about his consent living that secluded life only consisted of him and servants and bodyguards as their whole world. He was afraid if the answer would be that he wanted to leave him; then he'd certainly go mad, he might even use violence to keep him by his side; he knew his own capacity and his dark sides. It's a blessing that Duo, cognizant as he was, never pushed him to his dark sides even once.

He couldn't live without him…

The beeping sounds went up a notch for a moment; that brought his eyes to the bed. His eyes widened as he felt a strong awareness clawing up from the depth of the drug induced sleep. The indicators on the screen made an extreme up and down lines, and some alarms from the devices by the bed went off, and came running with urgency the doctors and nurses. Mr. Wren, the butler, provided him his shoulders to recline on as they heard a soft groan from the bed, despite the commotion of the doctors and nurses trying to stabilize the patient.

"Duo…!" his feet buckled with relief and euphoria, but he insisted to run towards the bed; the butler had to guard his body from falling or bumping to some furniture along the way.

The nurses cleared a way for him to the bed; they let him held the patient's hand while the doctors stabilized him. After the alarms died down, and the doctors indicated to him that he could continue, Quatre called out again, mindful of his voice not to get too loud; the restraint euphoria made his voice trembled, he already had tears trailing down his cheeks.

"…Duo..?"

"Duo, it's me, Quatre..! Can you hear…?!"

The fingers in his impatient hand twitched once; that renewed his euphoria to the level of unbearable. Mr. Wren understood and put both hands on his shoulders to calm his Young Master down.

He choked a couple times, after coughing it out once, he tried again.

"…Duo….?"

"…please wake up….!"

Duo groaned a longer one, his brows furrowed as if being disturbed. Quatre was going to call out again, but the butler's hands stroking his shoulders and upper arms urged him to give Duo his time; he swallowed and compromised to just use the time being to wipe his tears from his face.

The brunette head turned a little, his angelic face contorted in pain, he made a sound like he was trying to talk but couldn't. That alerted Quatre as he looked back and forth at the doctor nearest to him and at Duo; the young doctor smiled and nodded at him, indicating that it was normal for someone in his condition to feel the pain.

Duo's lips opened and made an incomprehensible sound again, Quatre bent forward straining his ears to hear his word; he was positive that he could connect to Duo's mind from years spent together, but he couldn't find the link. It alarmed him; something was wrong…

Duo made a choked sound, after taking some breaths he managed to sound his word, albeit in pieces. "…wha..-", swallowed once, "…name….is… 'eero…."

At the same time, Quatre's hand moved to Duo's chest; touched it mildly mindful of the transplantation wound still fresh there; it was just because his upper body was bent forward in his effort to hear Duo's broken words.

Then the reality struck him in a flood; the pieces of visions from the past, the sounds and voices; of him and Duo in a car, urging Duo to speed up as the mountain's road was his alone, of Duo pushing him out the door before the fallen tree crashed on them; then the sudden blackness swallowed his sight, then there came pieces of a scenery of a forest he'd never been before, of the sudden fright and surprise, of the fight against so many people he knew he couldn't win, of the horror as his consciousness slipping away by the dart shot at his back and leg, the dread of feeling death came; then the familiar link of his own ends, the memory of the doctor saying that Duo's heart was damaged by his broken ribs, and he needed a new heart as soon as possible if he wanted to safe his life, of his parents gave him their usual distant affectionate embrace and shoulder pats, telling him to just let Duo go, of him screaming at the top of his lung saying…'I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GET IT, JUST GET ME A HEART TO SAFE DUOOO..!!'

The realization struck like lightning; the pieces fit together to a horrifying picture; his dark ends, Duo's kind smile, and someone…somewhere…lost his life……

Quatre screamed in horror, a long agonizing scream where he denied his existence just for wanting to correct his wrongdoings…. His world spilt apart for the second time; he never knew that to become Death was this agonizing.

---------------

The snow hadn't stopped falling. The chirping birds had gone to their nests, now only some crows cawed and some owls hooted in the distant. The sky lit up in a strange twilight light; he never noticed that the winter twilight could be so eerily beautiful as it was. His life was full with Quatre, but he didn't hate him; he was grateful that someone wanted him so much that he didn't want to let him get away from him. It wasn't a caged life, either; Quatre was a wonderful person only with his dark ends caging himself from the world. What would happen to Quatre now that he's dead…?

He didn't remember much about what happened; only that the sound of the tree breaking swallowed Quatre's voice calling his name; then his vision went blank, and he woke up dead.

A curious crow landed near the boy's feet; he wondered if the bird could see him sitting next to the boy's body as if savoring the winter scenery together. The black-shining eyes spoke its curiosity in its own language, its head cocked to the sides while it jumped several times towards them. Duo laughed as the crow scrutinizing his sitting place while standing on the boy's heavy booted foot.

(…Yes? Are we such a peculiar couple of buddies, black-one…?)

The crow blinked, its head turned from the boy's pale face to his face several times; then it cawed a few times, another crow landed on the root near them, cocking its head, flapping its wings to shake off the snow from its body, and flew to the boy's other foot, scrutinizing the both of them with their naïve eyes. After some times passed, the crows flew away together into the darkened night sky.

Duo smiled looking at the direction where the crows disappeared; they might be a couple themselves, an envious feeling crept into his heart, if only they too were a normal living couple…

He looked up to the distant sky, outside the canopy of the grand tree's branches; there he could see the tired clouds had given up as there were some holes in the layers of clouds, letting him see the starry night sky that were shining like knowing eyes staring at him. He thought again of his existence in the time being; he'd heard stories of reapers and shinigami and angels that he started to wonder which of the above would come to pick him up to the next world. His eyes traveled to the seemingly sleeping boy shoulder to shoulder with him –that said supposing that he could touch the boy physically-; his endless sleep was undisturbed, not by the winds, not by the snow, not by the curious birds coming now and then…not by time..

He tinkered again about the situation; he was dead and didn't know where this place was, next to him sat a dead body so beautiful that a stray-spirit like himself would fall in love at the first sight at him; he wondered if there might be other stray-spirits that would come by and fall in love with the boy's body just like himself, what would he do if there are many stray-spirits (2) that attracted with that boy…? Would he have to chase them away in a commotion of stray-spirits-in-action (3)…?

(…..like a yard sale….!) he commented to himself.

….or just stray-dogs in heat; his mind mock, not like he could still get it….—no, he didn't want to get there, he gave his mind a mental slap.

So, back to the current situation, his mind reset the thinking. He's dead and lost and falling in love with a dead body; he blinked…falling in love…that's right, he's falling in love right now; his first love. His eyes traveled to the boy's body next to him, he'd given up trying to touch the body, even for only trying to look for an ID or other things that could show him the boy's identity; he really wanted to know his name, wanted to know more than just his name…

The freezing winter night winds blew harder, he could hear it bellowing like the sound of a lonely nymph calling out to her lost-one; yes, that might be what the story book he once read with Quatre tried to picture, that lamenting sound. Somewhere out in the open forest a wolf howled as if crying out for full moon. He looked again to the boy's sleeping face, serene and undisturbed; but not long the world would come to get him; might be in the form of the curious birds, or hungry scavengers, or wolfs, or some stinky maggots eating his flesh slowly, or those invisible bacteria rot him inside out…or just the weather; the time, unforgiving as it was, not waiting for someone to find his frozen body preserved by the winter Goddess, and turned that beautiful face to a smiling skeleton. Maybe all of those waiting in lines where he couldn't do anything to interfere.

…..maybe just some stranger he'd never met found the way to that place, mesmerized by the grand tree with leaves of snow, and steal the boy's body from him…just like someone stole his heart.

Duo blinked just to make sure that his eyes weren't wet; those thought depressed his strayed mind that he felt he wanted to cry more than when he found the beautiful boy dead. Another thought popped in his mind, he didn't want to be a spiteful ghost, no…he wanted to be a guardian spirit, instead; that might be the reason why he woke up in that place, maybe someone mighty, somewhere high above, still gave him the chance to fall in love, to find him the beauty of the world he hadn't given much chances to see with his own eyes; someone, somewhere, in the faraway place he'd already forgotten was still praying for his happiness without feeling tired…..someone, somewhere, who's missing him as a person…

He didn't know what happened; when he opened his eyes again, the dead boy's face was so close with his intangible face that he thought at some parts they might be overlapping with each other.

He was…kissing that boy…..his mind stopped working for a long second; he's stealing a kiss from a dead body…! –not that he too wasn't as dead as he was, probably in an even messed up condition if he looked back to the size of the tree that crashed on him…

What was he doing before that…?

Oh, he was thinking about himself, he didn't really realize it when he started to apply his thoughts to the dead boy in front of him…!

.yes! There must be someone missing that boy, right..? Won't they come and search for him here?

When will they come..? Before the ice melts and the warm weather eat his flesh….?

Or until his beautiful sleeping face turned to dried bones…?

When will they come….?

Duo felt his dark thoughts ruled his mind again; he tried to empty his mind, taking a long pause savoring the serene dead face before him, then he sat back to the boy's side, hugging his knees and humming some random song he'd heard somewhere.

(….I hope that was your first kiss I stole from you….)

(..even if you mind, but I'm not regretting it, you know..!) he smiled,

(Well….it'd be nice if I could feel that kiss, you know…?), he chuckled to himself;

A huff, (…so, then……I might just accompany you here until someone find you…do you mind..?)

There was no answer. He smiled again to himself, (..hahaa… 'thought so..!)

The bellowing winds didn't stop, but the snowfall gave up; as the sky cleared out the heavy clouds gradually, Duo could see the black night sky crowded with shining stars; like the eyes of the universe watching over them. His eyes drooped as his heart drowned in melancholic wave; if only Life would be kind enough to let them both see each other as a person…

But his mind decided that he didn't want to go there, that thought would be the gate to an endless fall, now that he couldn't do anything about it.

So he closed his eyes, savoring the presence of a dead boy sitting next to him, looking like he was deep in an undisturbed sleep; he closed his eyes, letting the world spun the wheel of time without counting his frozen clock. Only savoring the picture of the both of them sitting undisturbed under the white-covered tree from his awareness' view; he waited…..

---------------

---------------

1. Just like in dreams where you think you're closing your eyes but somehow you could picture yourself from a higher view (saru had that kind of dream a lot, usually when decided that the dream was too scary to be seen from saru's view)

2. Waringin tree; it is a common believe that it attracted stray-spirits and such kind of entities to gather around/under it, and use it as their 'home'; especially the solitary and old tree (some like the ones had grown for tens to hundreds years)….don't really know if people from other countries knew this tree, or if it even could grow in a four-seasoned hemisphere, or how it could even get there; hmmmm, let's just say that a bird swallowed it's seed while traveling south and during it's way back it dropped it from somewhere up there…yesss, bird-dropping is very much the answer to the questions with unthinkable-answers….! (just pretend that you understand…!)

3. .. ..that just came out of nowhere; saru used to type something without thinking; but it sounded alright…