Republicans:
One day Harry Popper went down to the Herpies school for witch and world of warcraft and he met Raphael Weasley.
"Salutations Raphael!" Explained Marry Poppins.
Raphael just stared at him because Raphael was just an overgrown fucking turtle and could not speak the English Language.
Intimidated by his higher intelligence Mr. Puuter decided to transmute Raphael into something less smart than a brain-dead mutant turtle, but before Harpy could cast his spell Raphael ate his wand! And most of Pooters arm as well.
"Owie!" Hagrid's Pot exclaimed, "This is going to take more than just a Band-Aid!"
Raphael just crawled into the corner and proceeded to gnaw the remnants of Pothead's right arm.
Staring at Raphael, Pumpkin laughed, "Republicans sure are weird!"
Then Henry bleed to death. The End.
…Thanks ObamaCare
