Poland curled up under the covers of his bed. Why did everyone ask him what his clothing size was today, or what his favorite food was, or his favorite book genre, or his favorite band, or his favorite weapon? He sighed to himself. Was there a Polish event he was forgetting or something?

"He's my best friend, best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy-yummy, hey you should get a be-"

Poland blushed, grabbing his phone. "Talk dirty to me," He smirked into the phone as an answer.

"A-ah, P-P-Poland?" Poland sat up quickly.

"Latvia? What are you, like, doing with Liet's phone?" Poland inquired.

"L-Lithuania t-t-told me to t-tell you t-to st-stay away from R-R-R-R-Russia's house f-for a wh-while," Latvia stuttered. Poland felt tears fill his eyes. He angrily rubbed them away.

"Why? Are they, like, fucking each other senseless? You know what? I don't care! Liet can fuck whoever the hell he wants!" Poland shouted into the phone.

"Don't yell at Latvia; now you've made him cry," Estonia scolded. Poland became worried.

"Did I? Oh em gee, tell him I'm, like, totally sorry! I just lost my temper," Poland explained.

"I'll tell him. Oh, and by the way, Russia got angry because Lithuania was protecting you. He's locked in his room with him; all I can hear is Lithuania screaming."

Poland stared ahead with wide eyes, even after Estonia had hung up. The cell phone slowly slipped from his grip, falling onto the bed next to him. Poland brought his knees up to his chest, crying into them.

"Oh Liet, I'm so sorry..."

"Did you really tell him that?" Lithuania cried. Estonia nodded. "Oh dear, he's probably so upset! Unless he hates me now, and doesn't care," Lithuania frowned.

"Sorry," Estonia shrugged.

"W-why did you tell h-him that I was c-crying?" Latvia demanded.

"What? Because that's usually what you would've done normally!" Estonia retorted.

"So I-I'm a cr-crybaby?" Latvia challenged.

"Yeah, you are!" Estonia spat. Latvia slapped him across his face, sending his glasses skidding across the floor to Lithuania.

"I hate you!" He shouted, pushing Estonia out of the way and running for his room.

"Here," Lithuania pushed the glasses into Estonia's hand.

"I don't understand him!" Estonia groaned.

"Have you told him that you love him yet?" Lithuania asked. Estonia silently put his glasses back on. "Bed-buddies often have sexual tension from real feelings they have for each other, when seeing them with someone else is very bothersome for them," Lithuania explained.

"Okay, Dr. Toris! Jeez, why does everyone bring up bed-buddy tension?" Estonia snapped. Lithuania put his nose in the air.

"I know from experience. When Feliks and I were bed-buddies, I would get very snappy when I saw him with Germany or Italy, and I think when he saw me with Russia, Latvia, or you, he got depressed. Possibly all this anger you both have is jealousy when he sees you with Finland and when you see him with Sealand," Lithuania explained.

"Vhat is t'at burnt t'ing?" Russia suddenly asked by the oven. Lithuania yelped and ran over, but it was too late for the cake-to-be.

"I keep ruining it!" Lithuania cried. Russia started getting things out.

"I vill make t'e cake for you, Lit'uania," Russia smiled.

"Thank you," Lithuania smiled back.

"Ring~! Ring~!" Russia's eyes lit up. He grabbed the phone.

"Privet?" If possible, the person's reply made Russia even happier. "Oh! Yao-Yao! Nyet, I am not! Eh, really? T'at vould be vonderful!" Russia started cooking the cake. "Vhat? Oh...somet'ing girly. Nyet, he really does. Da!" Russia giggled.

"Let's go," Lithuania whispered. Estonia nodded.

Poland yawned, sitting up in bed. He rubbed at his eyes. "Oh damn it!" He swore, running for the bathroom. He started to wash the smeared mascara off his cheeks and hands. Then he yawned, going back to the bed.

Poland's foot hit his cell phone. He reached down and picked it up, remembering his conversation with Latvia and, by extension, Estonia. Poland hung his head in shame.

"Pasta, pasta, I love pasta, it's a wonderful food~! Fe-" Poland hit the talk button.

"Hello?" He answered in a happy tone, though he didn't feel happy.

"Ve!"

"Give me the phone!"

"Ve~!"

"Now, Italy!"

"Veee-Fratello!"

"What the hell are you doing to him, you bastard?" Poland stared at his phone with a weird look on his face as Italy hung up.

"Okay~ then!" Poland skipped over to his wardrobe. "Hm...what can I, like, look kickass in while, like, literally kicking ass?" Poland asked himself. He pulled out his red and black plaid skirt and nodded. The he put on a black blouse and checked himself out in the mirror.

"Oh man, if I was straight I'd, like, totally dig myself as a chick!" Poland smirked. Then he thought about that. "That was...totally disturbing..."

Lithuania rushed around Russia's house, freaking out. Russia giggled, watching him. China sat on Russia's lap, sighing. Estonia sat on Russia's left, Latvia on Russia's right.

"Ah, what if he hates the cake? What if he hates me? What if he never comes!" Lithuania fretted. "What if I don't get done with the decorating? What if no one comes?" What-"

"Liet!" All froze, turning to the front door. Poland stormed in, looking extremely...'sexy...' Lithuania wiped the blood from his nose. "What's the cake for?" Poland suddenly asked.

"'ave you finished it yet, Lit'uania?" Russia demanded. "You better 'urry, or do you vant anot'er punishment like last night?" Russia threatened, standing up and grabbing his pipe. Latvia screamed in fear on instinct and launched himself at Estonia, who instantly hugged him protectively.

"Ah! Please, no! I'm almost done, Russia-sama, I swear!" Lithuania begged. Russia sat down, restoring China's place on his lap. The small Chinese man looked a bit shook up himself.

Poland looked away, tears in his eyes. Lithuania noticed this, his eyes going wide. Poland ran out of the house. "Good acting, Latvia!" Russia smiled brightly.

"Th-that w-wasn't a-a-acting," Latvia stuttered back. Lithuania held his hand to the place where his heart was as it started to ache.

"Hurry up and finish up; I know exactly how to get him back when the time is right," Estonia told Lithuania. The middle Baltic nodded.

Poland kicked a nearby rock by his foot, cursing Russia for all his worth. He looked up as Sealand ran up. "Hap-" Finland clamped one had over the micro-nation's mouth and used the other hand to grab his ear and pull him away.

"Sorry, he's a bit crazy right now! Hormones, you know?" Finland chuckled nervously.

Poland blinked, standing there in silence. Then he went back to what he was doing before—cursing Russia's existence in the world. He must have been doing that for about three hours, almost getting to his own house (he walked through Belarus's house to get to his own) before his cell phone went off.

"He's my best friend, best of all best friends, do you have a best friend too? It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy-yummy, hey you should get a be-"

Poland pressed talk. "Hello, Liet?" He asked, confused.

"H-help! P-Poland, he's…Russia's…ah!" Poland's eyes widened.

"Liet! Liet, what's he doing to you?" Poland shouted.

"Scream my name, Lit'uania!" Poland gasped, hanging up the phone. He ran as fast as he could to Russia's house.

"Okay, I'm sure he was probably somewhere around his place, so-" Lithuania started.

"LIET?" Quickly, the nations hid as Poland stomped upstairs. "Liet, where are you?" Poland shouted. He ran into the kitchen, not seeing Lithuania behind the door.

Lithuania grabbed Poland quickly, twirling him around and kissing him. Before Poland could react, he was blindfold and sat down in a (rather comfortable) chair.

"Do you know what day it is?" Sweden asked.

"U-uh, July 22nd?" Poland asked uncertainly. He was still caught up in the fact that Lithuania kissed him!

"…yes, Poland, but why is it special?" Belarus prompted. Mexico chuckled. Poland bit his lip in thought.

Warm lips brushed against his neck, making it impossible for him to think. "Feliks, it's your birthday," Lithuania whispered, smiling against Poland's neck.

"Oh, it is!" Poland exclaimed. The blindfold was taken off and it was revealed that the other nations had made a party for him. "Thank you, guys! It's, like, totally wonderful of you all to do this!" Poland smiled.

"I vas not sad t'at I 'ad to play t'e bad guy. You believed it instantly," Russia spoke up. Poland looked away sheepishly. Lithuania ran over, picked up the cake, and ran over to Poland with it.

"It's pink!" Poland squealed happily. "Oh, thank you, like, so much, Liet!" Poland smiled, hugging Lithuania tightly.

China handed Poland a present. Poland thanked him and ripped the paper off, revealing- "Frilly pink panties! Aw, thanks, China!" Poland smiled brightly. China sighed in relief, and then yelped when Russia pulled him on his lap.

"O-open ours n-next," Latvia smiled as Estonia handed over the present. Poland unwrapped it.

"A new saddle for Miss Pinky Pony!" Poland cried, holing up the sparkly pink saddle. Over in Poland, 'Miss Pinky Pony' sneezed.

"Damn it, that Polish kid is talking about me. Probably how 'fabulous' I'd look with a perm or something…" he grumbled.

"Thanks!" Poland giggled. He went through the presents quickly. "You guys are, like, totally awesome!" He smiled.

"Ve~, like Prussia!" Italy piped up.

"Oh dear God, my brother got to you," Germany sighed, banging his head on the table. Italy giggled.

Suddenly, handcuffs clamped onto the Polish boy's wrists. He looked up at Lithuania, practically fainting at the seductive smirk the brunette sent him.

"H-how did you know about my bondage fetish?" Poland squeaked. Lithuania nipped lightly at his neck. "A-ah..."

"Feliks, let's go play upstairs," Lithuania purred, dragging Poland upstairs.

"L-Lithuania w-was never like that w-with Russia..." Latvia pondered.

"Kolkolkolkol..."

"LATVIAAAA!" Estonia shrieked, hugging the little blonde tightly.

"Don't be like that, aru! You have me, aru!" China smiled. Russia grinned, snuggling up against the Chinese man.

"You're lucky China was here, Raivis," Estonia sighed. Latvia wrenched himself away from the Estonian's embrace.

"I'm sick of you devaluing me!" Latvia shouted. Russia frowned at the small Baltic. "I'm done with you, Eduard," Latvia sneered, stomping away.

"I'm glad; I was getting tired of your bipolar asshole-ish-ness!" Estonia projected to the curly-headed blonde as he slammed his door shut.

"Ve~, don't fight on Poland's birthday!" Italy cried.

"Let's all be friends!" Finland added. To further their point, the two hugged each other tightly.

"Why? Poland and Lithuania are screwing each other upstairs," Germany pointed out.

"'m n't s're P'l'nd c'res th't th'y 're f'ght'ng," Sweden added.

"That's not helpful!" Italy cried.

"Be supportive of our feelings!" Finland added. The two stoic men shrugged.

"Vhy are you and Latvia fighting?" Russia inquired. "Not t'at I mind t'e fighting."

"I don't know; he's being an insolent brat!" Estonia retorted, loud enough so Latvia could hear.

"Go to Hell!" Latvia called back.

"Being with you WAS Hell!" Estonia screamed.

"Ah, bed-buddy tension?" Finland asked. Sweden's cheeks heated up upon hearing the words come from his Finnish lover's lips.

"You too? Why? My god!" Estonia cried. Finland shrugged.

"I know from experience! Me and Su-san-!" Sweden covered Finland's mouth.

"J'st r'm'mb'red, w' h've t' g', uh, w't'r 'r d'g! Bye!" Sweden quickly dragged Finland away.

"Water…"

"Our dog…"

"T'at sounds like fun!" Russia gigged. The other countries hoped he wasn't daydreaming about drowning puppies…

Lithuania ran his fingers through Poland's soft blonde hair, tugging at the pink streaks. Nobody else noticed that Poland had gotten pink streaks except Lithuania. Just as well, because that meant nobody was paying attention to Poland like Lithuania was.

"Toris, like, stop pulling," Poland mumbled, snuggling into Lithuania's bare chest. Lithuania just smiled.

"I like them, Feliks, and they want me to pull on them," Lithuania smiled.

"Well I, like, didn't pull your hair," Poland grumbled. Lithuania smirked, sitting up and pulling the Polish boy up so he could mold his lips around the younger boys'.

"No, but you clawed me up really bad," Lithuania purred. Poland's cheeks tinged pink.

"Like, sorry," Poland murmured. Lithuania shrugged.

"I didn't mind," He smiled, kissing Poland's forehead. "I love you, Feliks."

"Love you too, Toris," Poland whispered.