Disclaimer: I do now own any of the Marvel characters. Nor do I own Captain America: Winter Solider, screenplay by Christopher Marcus and Stephan McFeely, nor Captain America: The First Avenger or Agents of SHIELD. If you know it, I do not own it.

"Human" written by Christina Perri and Martin Johnson.

A/N: This is the Winter Solider version for the Various States Universe. The previous installments are highly recommended reads before you read this, but it's up to you. This first chapter is what happens before the movie actually starts and ties in the run-up Agents of Shield episodes that I wrote as a one-shot put decided to tack on here instead of posting it on its own.


Where the Brave Meets Blue Skies


Prologue


Watch me 'cause I'm on a mission / Hold me back, so I'm forced to listen / Don't let me go 'cause I'm nothing

-Muse, "Save Me"


It was cold. It'd been cold for a long time. Or was always cold. Or not. Get back to him on that. His concept on time wasn't too keen at the moment. It might have been minutes of cold or a hundred years for all he knew. Time had kind of lost its meaning.

It was cold.

"Huh."

That was a new voice, one he didn't recognize. He really wanted to open his eyes, but he didn't want to see he was hearing things and be disappointed. He didn't think he could handle that. He'd lost track of the times he'd dreamed someone had come to rescue him.

No one was coming.

"I seemed to have found myself in The First Avenger," the voice continued.

The first what?

Wait, that voice was American.

"Why are you not talking?"

He remained where he was, not opening his eyes, not doing anything except taking very shallow breaths in and out through his nose. It annoyed his captors when he failed to respond with shouts or curses. It was how he got his kicks these days.

And he was dreaming of an American broad here, somewhere one would never be. No dame would end up in a Nazi science facility where they were doing who knows what to the POWs and hailing something called "hydra."

"Okay, dude, you gotta talk. Stevie's on his way, if I got my movie right. A little taller, a little wider, but still chock-full of stupid," the woman went on, getting closer. He could feel hair trailing over his bare arm. It was so soft and made goosebumps break out all over. "But, tragically, there's a few more horrible things these apes are going to do. So, well, since I'm the monster now, I can do this."

Bucky's eyes shot open as pain seared through his chest. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His eyes focused on the woman leaning over him. She was sure an odd looking dame. She had the brightest orange hair he'd ever seen and her skin almost matched. Her eyes looked as if they had dancing green fire within them and her mouth was twisted in a facsimile of a smile. She leaned in closer, pressing whatever she was holding harder into his chest causing pain to flair. Her hair began to flow as if it was caught in a gentle sea breeze as he twisted in agony against his restraints. It felt like hot fire was pouring through his veins. The only good thing: he was no longer cold.

"You can hold your breath, you can bite your tongue if that's what they want, be their number one," the orange hair woman talk/sung/something that sounded strange and made him feel as if the words were writing themselves on his bones, "You can fake a smile, force a laugh, dance and play the part if that's what they ask, give them all you can. You can do it." Her voice changed into something completely different that sounded as if she turned a record player on. "I'm only human. I'm only human. Just a little human."

And she blinked out of existence.

"Ah, he iz awake," came the dreaded voice of the evil scientist who claimed to be making Bucky better. "Vill he talk today?"

James Buchanan Barnes began to recite his army number. Over, and over, and over. And he knew he wouldn't stop until Steve showed up.

So, basically, he'd die reciting the number as there was no way Steve was going to show up in a war zone. Even if he found someone dumb enough to let him into the Army, there was no way he'd actually see battle when a light wind would knock him over and make him unable to breathe right.


Farewell, I've gone, to take my throne above / Don't weep for me cause this is the labor of my love

-Imagine Dragons, "Warriors"


It was cold.

Cold was wrapped around it, holding snug. It liked the cold. The cold sang. Badly, but the cold sang.

I'm only human.

It didn't understand the words, didn't know why the cold sung them, but it appreciated it nonetheless.

I'm only human.

Just a little human.

It wasn't an it, it was a he. He was…wait, what was he…

I can turn it on, be a good machine. I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need, be your everything.

It was getting warm. Wet.

It was time for a mission.

Wait, mission? He did missions still?

Didn't he fall off a train and die? Or almost die? He clearly wasn't dead.

I can do it, I can do it, I'll get through it.

But I'm only human.

"Is it awake?"

He opened his eyes and glared at whoever had said that. The person frowned at him, looking peeved he was glaring. He glared harder. He'd punch the guy if he'd had use of his arms.

Wait, where was his left arm?

"He needs a wipe. He's showing emotion."

"Check."

He struggled as he was manhandled into a contraption that looked more like a torture device than a medical one (or one to wipe him down, he was covered in slush). He fought tooth and nail, but he lost. Even with the shiny thing attached to his left side. There was something within him that wouldn't let him battle as hard as he knew he could.

Wait, he was stronger than a dozen men?

"Hook it up for nutrients. We won't have time to feed it."

"Check."

A face came into focus, one he'd never seen before, and gave him a rather vile smile.

"Welcome to the new age, Winter Solider. You will make a great asset to our cause," said the man in what he realized was Russian.

Since when did he—

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.


Holding something we don't need / All this delusion in our heads is gonna bring us to our knees

-Jim Bay, "Let It Go"


I'm only human

I'm only human

Cold. Cold. Cold. Always cold.

Just a little human

I can take so much 'till I've had enough

I've had enough. I'm done. I don't know why I am cold, but I'm over it. I wanna be warm. Hell, I don't think I was this cold the winter Steve and I didn't have enough money for the heater.

Wait, who is Steve?

'Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down.

What the hell is with this song? I get it. I'm human. Not like I'm going to forget it.

How could I forget that I'm human?

Do I forget? I feel like I might.

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

You know, for a song that is stuck in my head on repeat for an unknown amount of time, I've no idea how it got there. I've never heard anything like this. And I've heard lots. I go to dance halls, I'm up with the latest music.

Or at least I was before I was always cold.

Wait, what's a dance hall?

Oh, it's getting warm.

Who are these people? They don't like it when I'm confused. Okay, fine. I won't—

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

The Asset has a mission. The Asset will complete its mission and return to base.


So take the photographs and still frames in your mind / Put it on a shelf in good health and good time

-Green Day, "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)"


Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold. So tired of cold. Cold is so yesterday.

I'm only human

I'm only human

Just a little human

I've got that covered. The song that doesn't end. Goes on and on and on and on, forever while I freeze to death. I'm so tired of being cold. I'm not freezing to death, I don't think. I'm only sleeping.

Confirm.

No, I'm pretty sure I'm freezing to death. I can't feel my left arm. Or is it my right arm?

It's the left.

No. How are you sure? Wait, who am I talking to?

'Cause I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

This song is annoying.

What song?

You can't here that? Who the hell am I talking to? Or thinking at. I'm not even sure what I am doing.

The Asset hears no song.

What?

The Asset hears no song.

Great. I'm officially mad as a hatter. More than likely crazier.

The Asset hears no song.

Your words in my head, knives in my heart, you build me up, and then I fall apart

'Cause I'm only human

You are me, so I don't know why you can't here that song. It's like carved on my bones. It crawls under my skin and settles and reminds me.

That you are only human.

Well, yeah, but also…I'm remembering stuff. Something about Steve. Brooklyn. Making him throw up at Coney Island.

Explain Coney Island.

Fighting against HYDRA along side Captain America, who was just that stupid punk from Brooklyn I was always saving from alley brawls.

Confirm who you are.

James Buchanan Barnes. Who are you?

The Asset.

The Asset? What kind of fu—

"Ah, he's awake."

Ah, crap. No emotion. They hate emotion.

Emotion is weakness.

You're an idiot.

"The Asset has a mission," the blonde man informed him (them?), wearing a smile he didn't like. "Wipe him. I don't like the look in his eyes."

Fuc—


If one heart can mend another / Only then can we begin / So won't you hold on a little longer / Don't let them get away / Lonely, I, I'm so alone now

-Lykke Li, "No Rest for the Wicked"


I can turn it on

Be a good machine

I'm so over this song. I don't even know how I know it. You there?

I can hold the weight of worlds

If that's what you need.

It's likely better my alter ego isn't here. Who clearly goes off and kills people. All the blood on my hands. I'm almost glad they wipe my mind before they shove me in here. No idea why it doesn't stick while I'm just chilling. God, I'm so hilarious and no one knows except me.

Be your everything.

I can do it, I can do it, I'll get through it.

BUT I'M ONLY HUMAN! AND I BLEED WHEN I FALL DOWN! I'M ONLY HUMAN! AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN! YOUR WORDS IN MY HEAD, KNIVES IN MY HEART, YOU BUILD ME UP AND THEN I FALL APART, CAUSE I'M ONLY HUMAN! I HATE THIS SONG! I DON'T KNOW WHY I KNOW IT! I HATE IT! IT'S DRIVING ME ROUND THE BEND!

Oh, hell. It's getting warmer. I wonder…if I can hang on and try to influence the Asset? Worth a shot.

Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.

The Asset will complete its mission and return to base.


You put your spell on me / Got me rooted in the ground like an old oak tree / It's good, can't you see? / That you got the magic to set me free

-Ingrid Michaelson, "Warpath"


"Oh my god. What did you do?"

The Asset startled, turning to find someone standing next to it in the rain. It blinked, wondering how the woman managed to get down into the ditch and next to it without it noticing. She also looked familiar, yet the Asset had never been shown her file photo, so it was unsure how it recognized her. She was not one of its mission assists, handler or leader of HYDRA.

"You killed Howard Stark!" she shouted, her orange hair flying upwards unnaturally. "Is this cannon? I don't know anything about you and your Marvel storyline. As far as I know, you died a snowy death by dramatic fall, but like everyone else in this Marvel franchise, you're not dead. And how ironic, they keep you on ice! Steve is on ice, but no one is waking him up to kill people. He wouldn't do it anyways, but I've been following you. All these missions, all these high profile assassinations. You are shaping history with a gun and a metal arm."

"You talk too much."

"You speak Russian!" the orange haired woman gushed, hair flying in a different direction.

The Asset shot her, but the bullets ricocheted off some sort of bubble. She moved the golden spear she was holding back and forth, looking impressed and surprised.

"Didn't know that'd happen. Maybe I'm doing that? Don't think it's this thing. I've got magic. I'm evil."

The Asset cocked its head to the side.

"I'm also time traveling!" She let out a cackle, throwing her head back. Her vivid hair flowed upward in a nonexistent breeze. "I don't understand! Makes no sense. This is a Mind gem or whatever, not the Time one. Wait, how do I know that? Whatever. But, I meant to teleport myself somewhere…or something. I don't know. I don't remember. I've got this thing. Maybe it's this thing?"

She cackled, holding herself around her bare middle while showing it a purple stone. She wasn't wearing much clothing and the clothing she was wearing looked as if it'd burned recently. She was also not getting wet in the pouring rain.

The Asset shot at her with a different gun. When that failed, it tried the knife. When that failed, it turned around and walked away. She was not part of the Mission. It had completed the Mission.

"Hey! Don't you walk away from me!" she screamed, suddenly blinking into existence in front of it. It stopped walking.

That was not normal.

"I'm following you around for a reason, so I'm gonna do something to help Steve out, because, duh, you're going to run across him once he unfreezes and be all…whatever you are. You're not evil because you don't know what you're really doing, right? You do what you're told because that's just what you do."

The Asset said nothing, but tried to walk around her, but she stopped it, the tip of her spear pressing into its chest.

Something flowed through its veins that froze it mid step. Heat flared suddenly, making it look at the woman with wide eyes behind its goggles. It knew she should be unable to see it due to the goggles and face mask, but the smirk she wore told him she could see and knew the look of shock on its face.

"You can turn it on, be a good machine. You can hold the weight of the world if that's what they need, be their everything. You can do it, you'll get through it. But, you're only human. You bleed when you fall down. You're only human, you crash and break down. Just a little human."

The Asset blinked. It was not human. It was a weapon. Yet that last part, that sounded as like noise and not her voice, rang deep in his head and made something come loose. It rattled around then found a place to settle.

The Asset pressed its lips together. Did weapons have lips?

(Yes, you idiot. You have lips.)

The Asset looked around for the source of the voice who answered its question, but only saw the orange haired woman.

"I'm only human," she sang in the recorded voice, pressing the tip deeper into his chest. It pierced the armor covering his chest. He looked down. "I'm only human, just a little human. I can take so much 'til I've had enough, 'cause I'm only human."

The Asset—no that wasn't right. Wait…

(You'll get there, buddy.)

Get where?

Since when did it ask questions?

(Since now, evidently.)

"You are Bucky Barnes," the orange haired woman insisted, her hair flowing slowly around her, her green eye burning. "Your best friend is Steve Rogers: big, blond guy who is chock-full of stupid. You like dancing, dames, and other things that I can't remember because, duh, I'm slowly rotting my mind. I think that's what's wrong with me. God, I'm the wrong person for this. But, you need a trigger to wake you up and be Bucky."

"Bucky?" he croaked out in a voice that sounded strange to his own ears.

(That's me! You, us! We're Bucky!)

"Ah, ye speaks English! Huzzah!"

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

"You are! 'Cause I'm only human and I bleed and I fall down! You are James Buchannan Barnes! I'm only human and I crash and I break down! You are Steve Roger's best friend!"

"Steve?" he asked in the same weird voice.

"Ah…crap. Remember, I'm only human!"

And the woman blinked out of existence. He— yes, he was a he, wasn't he? Yes, he was. He turned in a full circle, but he was alone with a burning mass of vehicle behind him. He scratched his head.

Things were very muddled. It'd been so clear earlier. He had a mission and once he was done, he was to be brought back to base. He would be fed and he'd go to sleep to await the next mission. He walked a few more feet before he found a spot where he could climb up to the road easily without leaving a trail. He did so, being careful due to the rain that was drenching the ground.

(That also helps cover your tracks.)

In the distance he could hear sirens.

He was supposed be somewhere before the sirens got too close.

He walked a few more feet before his head hurt. He fell to his knees and held it in both hands. The cold metal of his left felt good on his burning forehead.

When did his hair get so long?

(I cannot look good with long hair!)

Pardon?

"Get in."

He startled, staring at the black van that had stopped in front of him without him noticing. There was a rather perturbed looking man sitting in the open door.

"Who are you?" he croaked out, slowly getting to his feet and getting ready to fight.

"Christ. He's been out of cryo too long. Grab him."

Rough hands grabbed him and hauled him into the van. The door slid shut, making his head rattle funny. He had no clue what cryo was, (It's where they put you on ice, you idiot) but if it made the pain in his head—along with that voice— go away, that would be fine.

(I am not going away, stupid. You're stuck with me now that she woke me up while we're outside of cryo. I've been trying to hang on for awhile now. I think.)

The Asset frowned deeply.

(You better remember you're a he next time you wake up.)

He was going to sleep? Well, that was fine. He was really tried. After his meal. He got a meal. Sleep and meal for completing his mission.

What had been his mission?

(Hell if I know.)


For if the dark returns / Then my brothers will die / And as the sky is falling down / It crashes into this lonely town

-Ed Sheeran, "I See Fire"


Jim Nicholls lost Smile Power.

It was tragic on too many levels for Skye to fully comprehend.

Jim still smiled way too much for a normal human being, but there was no power behind the smiles. Skye wanted to fix him, yet didn't know how. What she'd helped him uncover while they'd been in London had completely killed Smile Power and there was no way to help him un-know the information.

On top of loosing Smile Power, he also began drawing some very disturbing things. Jim didn't want anyone to see these things, but Skye caught peaks (added bonus: she worked on her espionage skills). The drawings were either people he knew from his regiment, his horse, or his family. And with exception of the horse, they all featured death, blood, sickness…some of the people looked like some form of strange zombie. Not that Jim knew what a zombie was…or maybe he did. Technically, he could be a zombie according to what she'd helped him uncover.

But none of that mattered at the moment because Coulson had sent Jim off with Mike Peterson to the bridge to get Mike's son back from the Woman in the Flowered Dress (also known as Raina). Mike had insisted it was Jim who went with him, even though the two hardly knew one another.

It'd been a trap. Now, Jim was kidnapped and Mike was dead.

"Why the hell would they take Jim?" Skye demanded.

No one said anything.

"Seriously. Why him?" she challenged, looking straight at Coulson, daring him to say why anyone would kidnap Jim.

"He doesn't know anything. More so than anyone here," Simmons pointed out, her cheeks turning pink.

Coulson sighed, looking tried. "He knows plenty."

"He has no clearance," Simmons reminded them. "None. And he's from 1914. He literally knows almost nothing except what you tell him, sir. He's read up on history, yes, but he still gets confused by his StarkPad, he can't operate his mobile like someone his age ought to, and he sometimes still calls email typed correspondence."

"Or mobile mail," Fitz offered quietly.

"He's a time traveler," May stated. "That is why they'd want him."

"No way. If he was from the future, sure. But, he's from the past. A past that doesn't exist here," Skye pointed out. "The history he lived isn't even the right history."

Coulson pressed his lips together, glanced at May, and sighed. "Since you've all clearly read his file, you know how he arrived and the state he was in, right?"

Skye nodded, watching Coulson carefully. Simmons and Fitz both sheepishly agreed, while Ward looked befuddled why he'd bother to read Jim's file.

"He died."

"He died," Ward repeated dumbly.

"For a minute?" Simmons asked, looking as if she really didn't like where this conversation was going.

"No. He was DOA. The medics said he'd died before they reached him."

"That wasn't in his file," Fitz quietly realized.

"Agent Barton didn't notice?" Simmons questioned.

"No. After he'd done what he could, he tended to Ms Witton, who had passed out."

"Jim's clearly alive," Fitz said. "Do people from his Earth rise from the dead? Might explain his fixation with zombies."

Ah, so Skye wasn't the only one to catch glimpses of the zombie drawings.

"No. Well, not to our knowledge," Coulson carefully allowed, glancing at May again.

"He was dead. Now he's not. End of story," Ward said, shrugging and folding his arms across his chest like it was no big deal.

"It'd take at least thirty minutes to get from Girdwood to Anchorage," Fitz realized, tapping his fingers against the table. "They'd not be trying to save him on way to hospital if he was dead when they got there."

Simmons narrowed her eyes at Coulson. "What are you not telling us?"

"He was dead. Then he wasn't," Coulson offered. "And now he's fine."

"He is not fine," Skye insisted. "He's been not fine for awhile now."

Everyone stared at her as if she was speaking Russian or something.

"What?" she asked, looking each of them. Not about to admit she'd helped Jim hack into secret SHEILD files and he knew he'd been dead and then wasn't, she added, "Haven't you notice his Smile Power is, like, gone?"

May and Ward both blinked blankly at Skye, while Coulson frowned. Fitz snorted.

"He doesn't have an ability," Simmons insisted, sounding tired of the topic of Smile Power. "There is nothing special about him other than his origins."

"He's got Smile Power. How can you not notice that people melt into puddles of mush at his feet when he smiles? Smile Power's been on the fritz and it just got worse after London."

Skye looked at Coulson, willing him to say something that would clue her in on how much he knew and suspected, as if the files were right, he shouldn't have known about what had happened to Jim and Loki, yet he knew Jim had died.

"It is his right to tell us what is bothering him," Coulson declared. "Now, it's been twenty-four hours since Captain Nicholls was taken. I suggest we get him back. Where do we start?"

May glanced at Coulson before saying, "I think I have an idea where to begin."


But I know what could break me / Dead on arrival / You were my death reflected

-Billy Idol, "Dead on Arrival"


May's plan sucked.

Mostly because it involved Coulson getting himself kidnapped and the scary lady with the ugly red highlights kicking Skye off the bus with May's approval.

Skye didn't have the clearance for this mission (nor was she useful due to the stupid anti-computer bracelet still strapped around her wrist), thus no reason to be part of the OP.

To hell with them.

She'd find Jim (and Coulson) on her own. (Well, with a little help from Simmons, Fitz, and Ward.)

All right, time to pretend to be Agent Melinda May and get access to some financial files. Money made the world go around and no organization could exist without a money trail. Pulling her sleeve down over her stupid bracelet, she marched up the driveway, slowly falling into character the best she could.


Stones taught me to fly / Love— it taught me to lie / Life— it taught me to die / So it's not hard to fail

-Damien Rice, "Cannonball"


They got Jim back.

And he was totally broken.

Smile Power was dead.

"What did you find out?" Skye asked, rubbing her now freed wrist. Coulson had removed the anti-computer using bracelet after seeing how far she'd gone to protect their own. Her heart was in the right place and she'd shown loyalty or something epic.

Skye was thrilled. She liked being part of the team. It was like having a family. Also, computers. She missed computers.

"I died."

"Yeah, we know."

Jim looked up at her with bleak, blue eyes.

Oh god, he was so broken.

"They brought me back. I didn't want to return. I had no will to live. I told them as much."

"Okay."

That was new. And disturbing on ten different levels. Skye shivered.

"I thought I was in hell," Jim whispered. Skye gripped his shoulder. He really looked like he needed a hug. After a moment of watching him shake, she wrapped her arms around him. He stilled after a few moments and wrapped his arms around her, somewhat timidly.

Hugging wasn't something they did in 1914, Skye was getting the feeling.

"Do you still think that?" Skye asked, pulling away slowly. Jim instantly let go and turned damp looking eyes to her and smiled, sadly. Oh, god, no one should look that good while crying.

"No, darling, I don't," he quietly said, looking away again. He placed his hand over Skye's that was still on his shoulder. "But it was difficult to live through it again thanks to that machine."

"What did Coulson learn?"

Coulson had also been weird after they'd recused him. He wore a haunted expression and couldn't look at Jim.

"Haven't the faintest idea. He did give me this," Jim said, pulling a rather thick paper file from under his bunk. Skye dropped her hand from his shoulder and stared at it.

"Didn't think they kept paper files that thick any more."

"Fury didn't want this project digital. Harder to steal paper if you don't know where to look," Jim explained needlessly. "I've no idea how Coulson got this. He's not exactly speaking to me. Or looking at me."

Jim offered it to Skye, who sadly stared into those usually sparkling blue orbs. She took it, opening it up to find it was in some sort of medical language that neither of them would ever understand.


I hope you get everything you wanted boy / I hope you conquer the world and turn it into your toy

-John Grant, "Pale Green Ghosts"


Jim didn't go with them to SHEILD Academy. He instead vanished in the middle of the night without telling anyone where he was going. Coulson, though, didn't seem surprised.

"He needs to come to terms with what happened to him. So, I gave him leave and he took it," Coulson explained before he and May went off on their own to Mexico City for some super secret mission.

"He didn't want to live."

"He was scared," Coulson countered.

There was something Coulson wasn't telling her. She could read the disapproval all over him. He hadn't known what was done to Jim to make him not dead, but he sure as hell did now and he did not approve.

"How do you know? He was alive by the time you got there," Skye said without thinking. "And no one was told he died, not till recently. How did you find out?"

Coulson quirked an eyebrow. "I should have known…you were the one who hacked into SHEILD and found those encrypted files. Or at least you told Jim how to do it. After the thing with Loki."

"Yeah. He thought something fishy was going on after Loki didn't die. And that file you gave him? It makes no sense. To anyone. I've had Friz and Simmons look over it. It makes no sense," Skye pointed out. "It's five hundred pages of non-making sense jargon."

"I know."

Skye narrowed her eyes. "You know what they did to bring him back and you don't approve."

"No. I don't," Coulson had admitted, getting into his car and taking off with May.


When you come back from your escape / You can make a person's day / Cos it's your time

-Pete Yorn, "Committed"


"…and then I found her name on the wall. Along with Bucky Barnes. He was the first name. But, kind of cool. Her name on the wall with a guy like that."

"You still have your faith in humanity, don't you?" an amused posh British voice asked over the phone line.

"Of course. They saved me. I might still not know who my parents are, but it doesn't matter. Not really."

"Because you were wanted," Jim quietly said.

"Exactly," Skye agreed. "Coulson seemed amazed my world didn't totally shatter. When are you coming back?"

"Soon, Skye."


Yeah, I would fight for you, I'd lie for you / Walk the wire for you, yeah, I'd die for you / You know it's true

-Bryan Adams, "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You"


Being shot sucked. So much. There had to be a stronger word for it, but at the moment, Skye couldn't be bothered to think much passed it totally sucked.

And this was not the way she imagined herself dying: bleeding to death from a stomach wound on a basement floor of the bad guy's lair.

Okay. Maybe a little. Not the bleeding to death slowly from a stomach wound, but being in the bad guy's lair. That was kind of epic.

Liar.

At least Fitz knew where she was. Or where she was going. He might not know her exactly location. Hopefully the house wasn't huge. It'd looked big, but…

They'd come for her.

She shouldn't have run in here. She didn't really accomplish anything. Other than getting shot in the gut and finding out Mike Peterson was alive and now a cybrog working for the bad guy.

God, this sucked.

Well, maybe they'd bring her back to life with whatever they used on Jim and Loki? Then again, she was not from another dimension, a time traveller, or a former magic-wielding-alien who also happened to be an evil genius. (No matter what, Loki was completely mental and she didn't understand why they let him walk around without a security detail. Or let him off his Captain America leash. And, seriously, how did that relationship make sense? Captain America was all this and apple pie and he picked Loki, who dispite his drop dead gorgeous looks was a creeper.)

Skye was just a hacker.

There were millions of those.

Eh.

Still, this totally sucked.


I'll be there for you / Don't have to be alone for what you're going through / Start to breathe and fake a smile

-Lifehouse, "Come Back Down"


And then it didn't suck at all.

Skye opened her eyes.

The pain was…mostly gone. Likely due to the miracle of pain meds. She looked to her left and saw…very blue eyes. Man, those were blue. Were they always that blue?

"And she awakes," a pleasant voice said, tinged with a bit of worry.

"She does. Can she sit up?"

"Are you in pain?"

"Not really," Skye said. "Just kind of sore."

"Understandable," Jim murmured. "I believe the bed can sit up. There are buttons."

He appeared utterly baffled as he tried to find the buttons on the side to raise the bed. Skye laughed, even if it kind of hurt. Jim gave her a playfully annoyed look, then handed the bed's remote to her when he gave up doing it himself.

"You the only one here?" Skye asked as she slowly sat herself up.

"Yes. Asgard came calling," Jim replied, pulling his StarkPad out of nowhere. He tapped the screen a few times. "Ah, Lady Sif has arrived."

"Who?"

"One of Thor's comrades."

"So, uh, did I die?"

Jim sharply looked up.

"So, I did," Skye surmised, feeling a little weird knowing she'd been dead and now wasn't. She didn't remember anything about dying. She'd been in pain and now she wasn't. So endeth her death story.

"Only for a second."

"Not as long as you or Loki, huh?"

"No. Also, you did not suffer from what we could tell," Jim replied quietly.

"Suffer?"

"Why do you think I am so haunted?" Jim inquired, a note of impatience in his tone. "Mr Laufey-Odinson and I both suffered nightmares during the process. He remembered his clearly upon waking, I not till later."

"What kind of nightmares?"

"Visions of war for myself. Mr Laufey-Odinson didn't share his nightmares with me, but with the horrors of his past they were likely worst than my own bloody visions."

Skye nodded. Of course Loki's nightmares would be worse than anything Jim Nicholls could come up with. Jim had never split himself into two then put himself back together a-la-Once Upon a Time. Nor had he tried to wipe out an entire town just to distract his brother while he attempted to wipe out a whole civilization (something people seemed to forget when they were dealing with Loki).

"Agent Simmons assured me that you did not suffer nightmares after they administered the…drug."

Jim looked confused on how Simmons could have known, but Skye figured there was some machine that read her brainwaves or something.

"It was a drug?"

Jim nodded and swallowed thickly, looking angry, confused, and uncomfortable as he stated, "Yes. And you are the last person to receive it."

"What?"

Jim's smile was full of rictus. (Skye missed Smile Power.) "I went on my first and likely my last mission."

"What!?"

"Director Fury has gone to ground. Unable to find him to tell us where…where the drug was located, other measures were taken. Director Fury was only privy to the location of the drug, but we unearthed it using what Agent Coulson…remembered during our kidnapping."

Skye narrowed her eyes, knowing that this meant they used that awful machine they'd confiscated upon rescuing Jim and Coulson on Coulson while they'd had him. No wonder Coulson couldn't look at Jim and as all frowny-faced all the time.

"Agent Coulson was against using the drug upon you at first, but the situation became…dire. He agreed it would be for the best."

"Why would he have been against it? I mean, sure you and Loki suffer from nightmares, but seriously? So do I. Without the drug."

Jim looked as if someone had cancelled Christmas.

"Agent Coulson was on the team that originally research the drug. He did not know how it was derived, only knew it had horrible side effects and the project was scrapped. His memory of this drug and project were…erased, as well as the memories of those who took part in the trial."

"But, they didn't really stop because it was used on both you and Loki."

Jim nodded, looking down at his hands. "Fury, it seems, refined the drug to do away with the worst side effects after taking Coulson off the project."

"What were the side effects?"

"Well, the nightmares," Jim replied. "In the past, though, people lost their minds. After the trial Coulson was on was ended, they rewrote the memories of those involved so they'd no longer be insane."

"You're not whacko. You're likely the sanest person on this plane," Skye pointed out. "Or did they implant the story of you being a time traveller?"

"No, my life, as storybook as it sounds, is in fact truth. I'm of sound mind and show none of the…signs of having my memories replaced with vision of vacation locations," Jim quietly mused. "And, well, Mr Laufey-Odinson is the same as before. If not better."

"Vacation locations?"

"Agent Coulson seemed to think he spent time in Tahiti," Jim said, looking confused. "On vacation."

Skye blankly stared at Jim. "And he believed that? That man wouldn't know a vacation if it bit him."

Jim smiled sadly.

"So, will I go nuts?"

"No. Or at least, it does not seem so as Mr Laufey-Odinson and I are of sound mind."

"So, what did you do? You know, to make sure I'm the last person to return from the dead."

Jim stared at Skye. He appeared for a second as if he was going to play dumb, but his eyes turned to steel— almost as if all the cheerful blue was sucked out through a black straw leaving only an ugly blue grey behind.

Well, not ugly, but—

"I blew up the facility where they were…making the drug."

"You blew it up?" Skye asked, unbelievingly. "You? All by yourself?"

"No. Agent Coulson aided me. He was unaware…" Jim trailed off, shoving a hand through his curly hair. "He wasn't aware how they were making the drug until we were in the facility. They had…a blue alien…hooked to…tubes…draining…"

Jim was unable to finish, but Skye could fill in the blanks. She reached out and placed her hand over Jim's in his hair and guided it back down to the bed. She kept her hand over his and wove her fingers with his when he flipped his hand over.

"Coulson also," said an oil slick, smooth voice from outside the door making Jim drop her hand and leap ten feet in the air, "agreed that no one should have that kind of power. Only gods ought to, as we all well know."

Loki I-Have-A-Mouthful-Of-A-Last-Name appeared in the doorway to Skye's sick room. He looked different now he was no longer a "god" and was a mere mortal like herself and everyone else on the planet. (Okay, maybe not Captain America, but he didn't count.) (And if Thor was on planet, then he didn't count either.) (And any other Asgardian running around at the moment.) Gone was the larger than life being that Skye had met on a rainy day in London. Loki had glowed, she realized. He no longer glowed.

He looked…normal.

If one could look normal being that good looking.

She eyed him wearily, though, as he was still Loki. Change of species didn't change his character.

"You're not a god," Skye stated. "You were never a god. You were — or are an alien."

Loki shrugged, leaning on the doorframe. "Semantics."

"Loki," Jim said in a warning tone.

Loki put his hands up and smirked.

"Why are you here?" Skye demanded, glancing around for a weapon. There was no Captain America around to calm Loki down if he went off the deep end. Last time…gave her shivers even thinking what might have happened if Captain America hadn't been there and dragged Loki off.

(Skye wondered if maybe Captain America ought to have his head looked at seeing as he was with Loki. How did that make sense?)

"Lady Sif is on Mid—Earth," Loki corrected.

"I called him," Jim said at the same time.

"You willingly called a mad man?"

"He is not mad," Jim softly said, giving Skye a look she knew could likely melted hearts of millions. It wasn't Smile Power, just Plain Jim Nicholls Charm. "He's here because I requested his presence."

"Because he died too. Great. We can all form a club," Skye snarked.

"While that would be wonderful, we have more pressing matters on hand, Miss Skye," Loki said, easing himself off the door jam. He glanced again at Jim before Jim nodded, looking too serious. "There is something rotten in the state of Denmark."

"Denmark?" Skye flatly asked. "Cheese? It goes rotten and stinks."

Jim groaned as Loki chuckled.

"SHEILD. There is something rotten within the ranks of SHIELD and it goes deeper than Fury and his little band of wanna be gods," Loki explained as he entered the room further. Jim leapt up from his chair and offered it to Loki. Loki nodded, taking it. Once seated, Loki pulled out a strange looking laptop from his expensive messenger bag. The computer had an apple on the lid, with a smooth bite out of the side and lit up when Loki turned the thing on.

"What is that?"

"A laptop."

"Yeah, no duh. No, what kind of laptop? I've never seen it before."

"Oh, yes. It's a MacBook."

"A what book?"

"MacBook. On the planet one half of me fell to there was a brand of electronics called Apple. They made their name making personal computers, Macs. At some point they started putting a lower case 'i' in front of everything. This, for example, is an iPhone."

Loki produced another electronic item from his person, this one looking very similar to a StarkPhone, only sleeker.

"There was no Tony Stark on this version of Earth, so there were no Stark products. Everything Stark supplies here was supplied by Apple. Well, except weapons. As far as I'm aware, Apple never was in the business of making missiles," Loki explained. "Now, this laptop is very secure. It is un-hackable."

"No way. That isn't true."

"It is," Loki assured. "I hack things all the time. I cannot hack into this."

"Let me try."

Loki nodded at Jim, who handed Skye a laptop from behind him.

"Is it on a network?"

Loki nodded. He went back to doing whatever he got the thing out to do. Skye went to work.

"While you're trying to hack into my laptop, I'll explain why I brought it," Loki began, typing away. "Since arriving in Washington DC, I've come to realize that I dislike SHEILD."

"You dislike SHEILD?" Skye echoed disbelievingly. "And you've just realized this after you moved to DC? Why'd you move to DC? Don't you live in New York? With Captain America?"

"Oh, so many questions. Where to begin?"

"Start with why you hate SHEILD."

"It is more so the man in charge of the SHEILD base in DC. I dislike him."

"He's never met him," Jim put in.

"I do not need to meet him," Loki insisted, giving Jim a sharp look.

Skye could not find the laptop connected to any network. She pressed her lips together and tried harder.

"This man makes my skin crawl," Loki proclaimed, flipping the laptop towards Skye and Jim. On it, there was a large photo of an older man. He was likely a total hottie in his younger years, but now he was an old dude. "Steven left on a mission recently that is more than it seems."

"Are you sure you're on a network and not something you made up?" Skye demanded, looking back at her own laptop.

Loki gave Skye a look, turned his laptop back to him, did something, then turned it back to Skye. Sure enough, he was on the Bus's network.

"Damn. How are you hiding yourself?"

Loki smirked. "I'm not."

Skye peered at the screen, looking for something. Anything. Loki was the former god of lies, right? Didn't that mean he was likely lying?

She couldn't see anything that told her he was running a program that was hiding the laptop. Skye glanced at Loki, raising her hands and making typing motions. Loki rolled his eyes, but pushed the MacBook at Skye. She took it, feeling giddy.

"What is the mission?" Jim asked.

"Steven and Romanov have been sent to free hostages with STRIKE."

"With what?" Skye asked, pausing in her exploration of the strange laptop. (It'd been YEARS since she'd been faced with a new OS system. And this one was tight.)

"Special Tactical Reserve for International Key Emergencies," Loki recited.

"Another acronym they made up to spell the word they wanted," Skye snorted, going back to trying to find the secret program that hid the laptop. (There had to be one and not just because of the operating system was something she'd never seen before. Or it came from a different version of Earth.) "Okay, so what's so bad about that?"

"Romanov."

"What?"

"Romanov is a woman of many talents. She lives in the shadows and can infiltrate anywhere. Fury only sends her to do mundane things, like watch Stark or save hostages, when there is something else he wants. I was leery when she was assigned at Steven's partner. Steven isn't exactly…unnoticeable."

"No, not when he runs around with a star spangled shield and bright blue suit," Skye snorted.

"They gave him a new uniform. It's darker," Loki stiffly replied, glaring at her.

Skye frowned. "So, what does Fury want then to send off his super spy with the All-American boy?"

"He wants Steven to be the distraction whilst Romanov carries out her own missions."

Skye frowned deeper. "So, he's going rouge against his own organization? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Maybe. I'm unsure. Fury marches to his own beat. Find the file labeled 'Broccoli Surprise.'"

"'Broccoli Surprise?'" Skye faintly echoed. "Seriously?"

Loki took the laptop. The mouse clicked a few times before he turned it back to Skye. She stared blankly at the open file, which was indeed titled "Broccoli Surprise."

"Yes, that was my reaction as well. I was unable to decrypt it."

"Where did you get this?" Skye asked, reaching for the MacBook once more. Loki let her have it. She set about trying to figure out what the file said.

"That, my dear, I'm not sure. I was doing my daily hack into SHIELD—"

"You hacked into SHEILD daily?"

"Often without us even knowing," Coulson said from the doorway, making all three people in the room jump. Skye waited for the look of disappointment or disapproval, but it never came. If anything, under the usual professionalism, Coulson looked mildly amused. "Would you mind taking a break from this pow-wow? Ward has been compromised by Lorelei."

Skye sat up straighter.

And ouch. That kind of hurt.

"Lorelei is here?" Loki asked, standing quickly and knocking over his chair. "Why didn't you tell me? Where is she?"

"You're not a member of SHEILD and we've got no idea. She took Ward, so they could be anywhere. Ward's got little hidey holes all over the place," Coulson explained, "drop boxes, p.o. boxes, and storage lockers. They're filled with everything he'll need to start over: IDs, cash, weapons."

"So, he'll be off the grid," Skye filled in.

"Yeah. He'll try his hardest to keep Lorelei off our radar, but guess what?"

"What?" Skye asked.

"You're better than radar. Find them. Then you will explain what you three are doing and how the hell Loki got on my plane."

Without a further word, Coulson turned and exited the room. He came back a moment later.

"Oh, while you're here, Mr Laufey-Odinson, might you know something about a collar?"

Loki smirked. "Ah, yes. I happen to know a bit about it. I take it was broken at some point?"

"Of course."

Loki nodded, following Coulson out of the room.


To be exact, I wanted to react / Mission of attack / Your head was gettin' cracked / But you're a human bein' that's lucky to be breathing / And that's that

-Limp Bizkit, "Trust"


After Lorelei was taken care of (Ward highjacked the plane, there were several fist fights, people locked away in rooms, that kind of thing, oh, and Sif punched Loki in the nose for his snark and it was awesome), Coulson gathered Jim, Skye, and Loki in his office. He eyeballed each of them before he settled his eyes on Loki and his epic black eyes.

"So, what were you doing?"

"We discussed being brought back to life and that sort of thing. We're thinking of forming a club. I'm afraid you're unable to join, Agent Coulson," Loki said, casually crossing his legs and almost hiding a wince when he'd attempted to smirk.

Served him right. (Not that Skye really understood why Sif punched him, as she felt it went passed the rather cutting comment Loki had made about her and Thor.)

"We actually spent more time taking about your weird computer and that old dude that makes your skin crawl," Skye pointed out.

"Oh, yes. That is true."

Coulson quirked an eyebrow.

"Loki believes the senior SHEILD official at the base in Washington DC is…up to no good," Jim said. "And…well…Fury…"

Jim looked flustered, especially when Coulson turned his full attention to him and looked at him for the first time in weeks.

"Up to no good?" Coulson echoed.

"He is squirrelly at best," Loki offered, flapping a long fingered hand. He studied Coulson for a minute before making up his mind about something. "I've uncovered this."

Loki pulled the un-hackable laptop out of his bag and opened up the Broccoli Files. Coulson frowned upon seeing the gibberish. He quirked an eyebrow, turning his gaze to Loki.

"This is what Fury sent Romanov after when she and Steven went on a mission with STRIKE to recover some hostages."

Coulson frowned, looking as if he didn't believe that at all.

"Sketchy, correct?"

Coulson stared at Loki. "That sounds wrong coming out of your mouth."

Loki smirked (and winced). Coulson pulled the laptop closer to him and clicked through the screens that made up the Broccoli File.

"Alright. I'll bite. What do you think Pierce is up to?" Coulson asked.

"I think he's trying to bring down SHEILD from the inside and Fury knows it, hence why he's been so super secret spy recently."

"What?!" Skye squawked while Jim's mouth dropped open.

Loki glanced at her calmly before looking back at Coulson.

"What evidence do you have, Loki?" Coulson requested, looking slightly ill.

Loki turned the laptop back towards him, fingers flying across the keys. Images popped up on the screens of strange looking carrier-like things. Loki flipped the laptop back towards Coulson.

"What the hell are those?" Skye asked, craning her neck to see the screen.

Coulson stared hard, a frown of epic proportions forming.

"Someone is building an army, Agent Coulson. Do you know about this? From the expression in your eyes, I think not," Loki taunted.

"Coulson?" Skye gently asked worryingly when Coulson didn't respond.

"I take it this is classified beyond your pay grade," Jim suggested, looking worriedly between Loki and Coulson.

"I'd heard rumors they were building more," Coulson admitted grudgingly, sitting back in his chair and eyeing the three of them.

"More?" Skye squawked. "What are those things? They look like aircraft carriers."

"And connecting them to satellites?" Loki casually inquired as if he was asking about the weather.

"No."

"Ah," Loki said, nodding knowingly. He leaned forward and slapped the laptop close.

"What the heck were those things?" Skye demanded.

"Hellicarriers," Coulson replied. "We lost the one we had before, so SHEILD was building a replacement. Wasn't aware they were making three. Or connecting them to satellites."

"Helli-whats?"

"Can you continue to attempt to decrypt that file?" Coulson requested. "I assume you are looking for Skye's help, since you brought her into this."

Loki slid the laptop into the bag at his side. "Yes. I've a copy of the files with me for her to try to decrypt. I've learned to ask for help."

Coulson sighed deeply, giving Loki his tired dad look. "Keep me informed."

"Why, Agent Coulson, are you going rouge?" Loki teased.

Coulson smiled bitterly. "No. I'm still loyal to SHEILD. Just wondering what's what."

Loki looked a little sad and shrugged. (And winced again when his nonchalant expression pulled wrong on his broken nose.)

(Oh, god, he looked super annoyed!)

"Keep this between yourselves," Coulson ordered.

"Aye, aye, Captian," Loki mockingly agreed. Coulson gave him a baneful look before turning to Jim and Skye.

Jim nodded.

"I don't like keeping things from the others," Skye said. "I mean, I get it, but I don't like it."

"I know," Coulson agreed. "I don't either. But until we know more, it doesn't leave this room. Let's see if we can keep this bit of news from the Clairvoyant."


You got the hands to make 'em all buckle a rush / Blood runs fast, yeah you make it rush / I'm gonna live forever and it hurts so much

-Ingrid Michaelson, "Warpath"


Tracking down the Clairvoyant turned into a hot mess. Sure, Skye became a full fledge member of SHIELD (only because she needed clearance to hack something for the mission to work right) along with Jim (who'd looked floored when Coulson handed him a badge along with everyone else in the room as why did Jim need clearance for anything), but things were sketchy and while the guy they believed to be the Clairvoyant was dead, something was still totally wrong in the state of Denmark. (Great, she was turning into Loki and thinking everything was Denmark.)

Worst, Jim had gone with Simmons and Agent Triplett to the Hub, so Skye was on her own when everything went down. Well, Fitz, Coulson, Ward, May, and Agent Garrett were around, but none of them were Jim.

Also, she was still nowhere with the files Loki had left with her and it was super annoying.

"He said they wanted me," Skye whispered into her phone as the Bus took off after their Hunt for the Clairvoyant was over. "And…something's just not right. And it's bugging me more than those stupid files."

"What do you mean?" Jim asked.

Skye rolled over in her bunk to stare at the ceiling.

"I think we've got—"

The phone line went dead.

"Jim?"

Skye took the phone from her ear and dialed again.

Nothing happened. She had signal and a full battery. Skye stared at her phone in confusion as Coulson appeared next to her bunk wearing a disturbed expression.

"You think we've got the wrong guy, too, huh?" Skye asked, dialing again.

Nothing.

"Skye?" Coulson asked, bending down a little.

"My phone isn't dialing out. I was in the middle of talking to Jim and it went dead," Skye said, sitting up. She flipped the phone over and took the back off. Everything looked fine. "But, you think we've got the wrong guy, right?"

Coulson nodded.

"Do you wanna know what I think? I think the Clairvoyant isn't clairvoyant at all. I think he knows so much about us because he's got security clearance."

"What?" Fitz squeaked.

"Where'd you come from?" Skye asked, hopefully hiding the jump she'd done when Fitz had appeared by getting out of a nearby bunk.

"What do you mean the Clairvoyant has security clearance?" Coulson demanded.

"I mean, he or maybe she, doesn't know a thing about us because of some special ability, but the fact he or she may have clearance to know these things. A level seven at least, right? Maybe an eight because he or she knew things you didn't. Oh, god. What if it's that guy Loki hates?"

Fitz paled, but shook his head in the negative. "Uh, I might know who it is. I found an encrypted line that I didn't put there and shouldn't be here. I saw Agent May use it."

And, yeah, if anyone wanted to make Coulson look like a crushed puppy, Fitz sure did a good job.

"Cut the line. Go do it, now!" Skye cried, reaching for the gun she'd stowed under her bunk.

"Do it," Coulson ordered. "Skye with me."

"Shoot to incapacitate?"

"Yeah. I want answers."


Save me from my superstitions / Now I'm free, from this old condition / Wait just awhile and I'll greet you with a smile

-Muse, "Save Me"