Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King.
Author's Note: For the contest, Matamune's poem.
A black thousand paper cranes
That person quietly carries a heavy
Lonely mystery during the night
Even if unfoldable
Even if unfoldable
Origami, not one of my favorite things to learn but Kino-sensei wanted me to.
Creating a thousand paper cranes and hanging them on strings,
Will make a person's wish come true, so they say.
But I don't believe that.
I despise the fact that people consider it palpable.
If it was real, then my wish to rid me of such a cursed 'gift',
Should have been granted a long time ago.
I'd give anything - maybe create ten thousand more,
Or a million more,
If it could take all the misery away.
Maybe then, I'd be happy.
Just maybe.
In the blackest of night, I sit in my room
And ponder about who or what I'm going to be,
Or where my current path will lead me.
I don't even know for sure if there's even a path,
Or if I'm really meant for something worthwhile.
All I know is that, I hate people.
I don't want to be around them.
They mess with my head
And my heart.
I want them gone.
I know so well where the hatred came from.
It all started on that fateful night,
When my parents left me for dead on Mount Osore.
They were terrified of what I could do;
What kills me is that, it's not even my fault.
The only means to protect myself,
And those pitiful human beings in a way,
Is to be insensitive.
Doing that would allow me to take control,
To be in control,
So an oni wouldn't appear
And wreak havoc.
A black thousand paper cranes
That person quietly carries a heavy
Lonely mystery during the day
Even if unfoldable
Even if unfoldable
Creating a thousand paper cranes would at most, take me a full day;
On the premise that Kino-sensei will not ask me to go out and buy stuff.
I don't fully understand the reason why she does that to me,
Even though she's aware of my predicament;
Of my abilities;
One of the main reasons why I was chosen to be an Asakura bride.
Going outside was one that I fear the most.
Not because I'm scared of people, no.
I'm just afraid to hear their innermost thoughts,
What their heart says.
Cause it fills me up with scornful memories,
Of despair,
Of grief,
Of sorrow,
Of anger,
Of hatred.
Hatred is the most powerful of all.
Those images build up in my mind and once they do,
A demon would eventually emerge.
When that happens, I won't be able to do anything about it.
It has a life of its own.
It will not stop until it claims
The soul of another.
Morbid as it sounds, I would have loved that.
Killing every human being would've meant that I'd never have to read their minds ever again;
Cause I deal so much better with souls;
I can banish them into eternity with a single incantation.
Unlike most humans.
Humans are so feeble.
They would break at the slightest hardship
Fate has brought them in;
Most would cower in fear;
And if they feel that they can't take it anymore,
They would take their own life.
Of course I have a tendency to be suicidal.
Then again, I'm not most humans.
Unwavering, unshaken, holding pride...
Excessively wanting platitude
Being cold is so much easier.
No need to worry or care much about the world.
No need to cry over a lost love.
No nothing.
I don't even understand what love is.
Rather, I don't know what love is.
Though I could care less.
Love is the meeting.
Until I met him.
I was almost at the point of no return then;
Hopelessness befell upon me.
But...
In my darkest hour, with my darkest soul,
He held my hand in silence;
And for the first time, I felt peace within me.
Peace that I've yearned for since.
(Love is) The separation.
It's a transparent piece of cloth.
I tried to drive him away,
Scare him off,
Make him despise me.
Yet he stood by me.
He made me feel important.
He made me feel wanted.
That nekomata was right all along - love changes everything.
Being loved by such a clueless person like Yoh,
Gave me the strength I needed to settle my adversary - myself.
He believed in me and pushed me to my limits,
And made me better.
Because we're one and the same.
He said if I couldn't deal with it,
He'll take care of it for me.
His beliefs were improbable
And mostly stupid.
Yet in the weirdest way,
It works.
For the first time ever,
I was able to smile genuinely.
For the first time ever,
I was thankful...
Ironic as it sounds,
This reishii which plagued my existence for as long as I can remember,
Has helped me discover his true feelings towards me.
Osorezan revoir
The memories of Osorezan will always be with me,
Definitely something I can't change;
It's a thing of the past that's best left forgotten.
I made a promise to myself to never again give in
To such negative emotions.
I want to create new memories;
Happy ones.
Maybe smile more.
Or laugh.
As long as I'm with him,
I feel confident that I'd be able
To accomplish these things...someday.
For now, I have to bid him farewell.
Though in reality, I would've wanted him to stay a while longer.
I would've wanted him to tell me more about himself.
But I guess risking his life for me
Told me the kind of person he is;
That he's someone I could really trust.
I would never get tired of saying,
He was meant for me;
And I know he feels the same.
I'll love him for eternity.
Many lessons were learned;
Life-changing ones at that.
With a tearful goodbye, I'll be praying for him -
Until we meet again.
