We were lying in the meadow, enjoying the thrill the start of summer brought. Awkwardness hung in the air, as I tried my hardest not to think about what had almost happened yesterday. Edward, on the other hand, was frustratingly at-ease, now that the responsibilities over our boundaries had been passed from him to me. At the moment, he was absentmindedly twirling my hair in his fingers, watching me raptly. I stubbornly kept my eyes on the fluffy clouds above us, knowing that if I turned my head just a bit, my gaze would be locked into whatever emotions were storming in his as he watched me. When I didn't think I could bear it any longer, I looked down at my hand instead, watching the diamonds sparkle in the scant sunlight. I could wear my ring freely now, now that we had broken the news to Charlie.
"Less than two months," Edward murmured, noticing the new object of my attention.
"You nervous?" I asked.
He laughed. "Yes." I finally turned to look at him, surprised.
"Really?"
"What did you think, Bella?"
"I don't know," I blathered, "you've always been so eager for this. You always seem so sure about everything, you know?" I hadn't ever thought about the possibility of Edward being nervous about the wedding. I instinctively wondered if he was having cold feet, though I knew that couldn't happen. Not with the way he was looking at me right now.
"It's not just the wedding, although that's definitely a big part. Just think about it. This is going to be the biggest day of my existence. It'll be the day that the knot is finally tied for good, for lack of a better term. And on top of that, our marriage will bring other things that scare the heck out of me. For one, your change. You already know about that, so I won't get into it. And then, there's the physical aspect." I began to blush at this, and silently cursed myself for being so pathetic. "You know that I'm excited for it," he said. "And I know you're excited for it," he added with a smirk. My blush deepened, and his smile grew with it. "It's just that, well, underneath the scary fangs. I am still a teenage boy. Even if it's what I want, I'm still a nervous wreck. Even if it doesn't show."
"Really?" I asked. "I was under the pretense that you are a very old man."
"Please," he scoffed. "Don't offend me."
"Well," I amended. "I'm glad I'm not the only nervous one around here."
"Glad to be of some help."
We fell into silence again, this time much more comfortable than before.
"You know," Edward began, his voice soft, "One of the things that tend to bother me is whether you're going to miss anything once you've been changed. Any human experiences. Everything is so different as a vampire."
"This is the same thought that took me to prom, isn't it?" I accused. "Of making sure I went through graduation?"
"Of course. This is serious, Bella," he said, training his eyes on me. And I could see the seriousness swimming in his eyes. Any pre‒existing trace of humor was now gone. "Look. We still have two months of summer before the wedding, more if you want to push it back." I shot him a look, but he continued. "Why not spend the time we have doing things you've never gotten the chance to do, but wanted to?"
"This sounds like some sort of twisted bucket list."
"Funny," he said, but he didn't laugh.
I mulled it over in my head then, now serious, pondering. He was right, of course. What else would I plan to do with my final months as a human, especially when I wasn't hindered anymore with schoolwork and the threat of vampire nomads looming over me? Besides, wasn't this also the same thought that made me want to have sex with him before I was a vampire?
"Yeah, I guess we can do some stuff. But nothing too extravagant," I added, though I felt that this wish wouldn't be followed through very well.
I was right. "Come on, Bella. Summers are meant for being extravagant."
"No," I disagreed. "It's just you. But it's okay. I guess you're right. It is my last summer, after all," I allowed, not able to turn down the eager look on his face.
"What do you want to do first?" he asked, suddenly excited with the apparent prospect of a soon‒to‒be‒released new edition of Summer Adventures with Bella.
"Geez, Edward! At least give me the night to think about it," I said, but I curled into him as I spoke. "Let's just enjoy this day for now."
He responded with a kiss on my head, and I turned my attention to the singing birds and sweet summer scents, letting my thoughts drift away with the cool breeze.
