On My Own

Hola! This is a one-shot about the way I feel right now. Yes, it happened in real life. This is a songfic about the love of my life 3 Oh, and if you have any advice, leave it in the comments or PM me! This song is from Les Miserables! So I was thinking about doing more of these one-shot songfics. Let me know in comments and PM?

Question To Answer To In Comments: Do you like these songfics?

Disclaimer: I don't own Shake It Up or On My Own. I do own this story, for it is the story of my life

Cece's POV

I imagined the same lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was little and had trouble going to sleep. She would sing it with such passion and melancholy tears glimmering in her eyes.

On my own, pretending he's beside me.

I turned to Deuce, who was laughing at my joke. We were laughing like total idiots, care-free of the future. People stared at us in the hall, but who cares? Who cares if we are weird? At least we are having more fun than those Barbie dolls. Deuce and I always talked of how we hated Barbies. That was our code of the obnoxious popular kids. Deuce always agreed with me. We had so much in common.

All alone, I walk with him, till morning.

Those were the old days. Now he was completely absorbed in the Barbies. He was going out with Rocky, a Barbie who happened to be my best friend. I now walked the halls of High School West alone.

Without him, I feel his arms around me.

Just then, a Barbie named Alex shoved me into the locker, bruising my shoulder. I stayed there, leaned up against the locker. I wished Deuce would run after her.

And when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pictured Deuce beating up the Barbies. Smiling to myself I pushed of the locker and continued walking.

In the rain, the pavement shines like silver. All the lights are misty in the river.

When Deuce and I were best friends, school was deeply anticipated. Now, I wanted to not go, to not see his deep…ocean blue eyes that feel like you're drowning in a pool in heaven….

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight.

Why couldn't Deuce see how much I loved him?

And all I see is him and me forever and forever.

As he walked the halls clutching Rocky's petite hand, he gazed at me. We met eye contact and I looked down, suddenly interested in my feet. He did the same, looking a little disappointed.

And I know, it's only in my mind

I tried to ignore the fact that whenever he was with Rocky he stared at me, but how can one ignore that?

And that I'm talking to myself and not to him.

I tried to persuade myself to get over him, but how can you forget your first love? Your true love?

And although I know that he is BLIND!

He was always oblivious to the fact that Rocky could care less about him, and that I am the one for him.

Still I say, there's a way for us!

Although, I never gave up liking him. I never stopped and lost hope. I knew that one day my efforts will be worthwhile.

I love him, but when the night is over

Sometimes we spend time together. We would be laughing like we use to when we started high school. Then, Rocky would come over and Deuce would turn all serious, leaving me behind.

He is gone, a river's just a river.

One day, when I was talking to Deuce. He admitted that he loved Rocky. Feeling crushed and angry at Rocky that she is using him, I smile and nod, only to turn away crying.

Without him, the world around me changes

Without Deuce's company, I sit alone in an empty apartment on a Friday night. I walk the halls alone, like I am now. I lose connections with my other friends, Dina and Ty. I lose my sense of humor and happiness. Everything in the world seems so much…unfortunate.

The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

Sometimes I felt as if Deuce can relieve pressure that I feel when he smiles at me. How he will stay up all night if a problem I am having isn't solved or I don't feel better about it. The hallways are darker, as if everybody is glaring angrily at me when I am not with him.

I love him, but everyday I'm learning all my life, I've only been pretending.

I spotted Deuce's spiking hair in the hall. He was alone and smiling broadly towards my direction. He was walking confidently, and I caught my breath. He was finally going to admit his feelings to me! I smiled back and powerwalked through the now familiar faces. He did the same.

Without me, his world will go on turning

He waved, and when I raised my hand to do the same, we were so close. This was it. Right then, he walked right past me. Wait a minute….

A world that's full of happiness that I have never known

He wrapped his arms around Rocky who apparently had been behind me this whole time. The smile wasn't for me. It was for her.

I love him.

I continued walking, playing it cool before I turned around. He was smiling as Rocky rolled her eyes behind his back.

I love him.

Tears stung my eyes. I was tired of holding it in. Tears streamed down my face, as I stared longingly at Deuce.

"I love him."

I sang the last line aloud, though so quietly nobody would even hear. I guess how that would be from now on, not being heard.

Forcing myself to turn around was impossible, but after a while, I turned my back on him like he did to me. I began to wipe away my silent tears.

But only on my own.