The Art of Abusive Love
Skunk is training as usual.
Skunk walks over to the field where Fox and Rabbit are standing. They were having a very personal, touching moment.
Rabbit: Fox, I've been thinking about this for awhile. Will you... (stares at Fox, smiles at him) go on a date with me?
Fox(delightfully): Oh, Rabbit, you fluffy little thing, of course I will.
The two almost get over to kiss when they notice Skunk, who interrupts their moment.
Rabbit and Fox(interrupted): Heeeyyyy!
Rabbit: Do you mind?! I'm having the moment of my life asking the one girl I like, and now, you come over and cramp my style!
Fox: What Rabbit means is, we need some time alone.
Skunk: Eww! Well, you'll be fine without me! (walks away) (he walks back in jealousy)
Skunk(jealously): Heeeyyyy! How come Rabbit's able to get a girl and I'm not?!
Fox: Well...
Rabbit: Well, squirt, that's because you're too young for one, and your stink scares them all away! Man, you gotta do something to take care of THAT problem!
Skunk: It does not! Not even one girl has walked up to me and even talked to me. (Fox smiles nervously at Skunk) Well, except for you, Fox, but I've never met a girl my age who would come here!
Fox: Well, there will be plenty of time for that later, Skunk. But right now, ahem! We were in the middle of something... (net falls on Fox)
Fox: (screams) AHHHH!
Rabbit: Fox! Come back!
Skunk(shocked): What's going on?!
Rabbit: Let go of her, you dirty... (gets hit by large ) Unggghhh!
Baboon: HA HA HA HA HA! (carries Fox off)
Fox: Guys! HELP!
Rabbit: FOOOOXXXXXXX!!
And so Baboon takes her away with a net and Fox is taken to his cave.
Fox: Baboon! You monster, let me go!
Baboon: Come on! Do we really have to fight, my love?
Fox(furiously): WHAT?!
Baboon(calmly, in a lovely way): Fox, my love, I find you very special. You are so graceful, so beautiful, (touches her fur), and your fur is so soft!
Fox: Get away from me! I hate you!
Baboon: But why hate when you can love, my "Foxy-loxy"?
Fox: Look, I'll never be yours! You're a monster, Baboon! A heartless creature who reaps peoples' hearts! Well, you'll NEVER steal mine! (smiles, trying to make Baboon jealous) My heart belongs to Rabbit!
Baboon: (frowns for a few seconds, then smiles sinisterly) Well, we'll just have to make sure he DOESN'T have your heart! (chuckles)
Fox: Ah! You wouldn't!
Baboon(sinisterly): Watch me!
Skunk and Rabbit are trying to get into Baboon's cave. They come across ninja monkey troops, who attack once they spot them. They attack the ninja monkeys with high-rank kung-fu moves, throwing kicks, punches, swings of their bamboo sticks, and a little "skunking".\
Rabbit: Fox is being held inside there! We gotta save her!
Skunk: Okay, but I think Baboon took her for a reason...
Rabbit: Well, whatever the reason, I still have to get her back! I won't let a buffoon like Baboon steal her heart from me!
Skunk: Well said! Well then, let's go!
They run inside the cave, charging through ninja monkeys, defeating every single one in their way. The remaining forces...
Rabbit: Hey monkeys, (lifts up bananas, about to squirt them out all over the monkeys) you want some of this, do ya?
Monkeys: AHHHHH! (They screech and flee from them)
Rabbit: I didn't think so!
Skunk and Rabbit run forward. They find the "room" where Fox is being held captive by Baboon. They charge into the room.
Rabbit: Baboon, let Fox go!
Skunk: You'll never win her!
Fox(relieved): Skunk, Rabbit, you came! (sighs) I thought I was about to have to make-out with this hideous monster!
Baboon(sinisterly): (chuckling) Heh heh heh. Ah, all in due time, my fellow valley "friends"!
He pulls down a lever behind him and a cage falls on top of Skunk and Rabbit, trapping them inside.
Skunk and Rabbit: AAAAHHHH!
Baboon pulls the lever even more, bringing the cage above a boiling lava pit.
Baboon(sinisterly): Heh, I thought you'd refuse to be mine! That's why I've set a trap for your little friends. Guess I'll just have to pull this lever and drop your friends below into this BOILING lava pit!
Fox(worriedly): No! Please! I'll do anything!
Baboon: Well, Fox, I'm giving you a choice! You can either date me, or leave by your own free will as your friends meet their deaths being dipped into molten lava!
Fox(helplessly): Okay, well, it appears I have no choice! Baboon, you've got yourself a date!
Baboon smiles sinisterly.
Rabbit(shocked): What?! NO!
Skunk: Fox, don't do this!
Fox: It means more for me to save you guys rather than date whom I wish.
Skunk: But Baboon can't force you who to choose! Even if he wants you, you should never give up!
Baboon: (tensely) One more peep out of the little brats and they will be lowered into the lava pit! Now...(softens up), do we have a deal, er, I mean, date?
Fox(helplessly): (sighs) Sure.
Baboon: Well then, let's DANCE! (turns on soft, touching music) (He takes Fox's arm, and walks around softly with it)
Fox(holding back disgust): Ugh!
Baboon swings her arm around and puts her arms around her back, with Fox trying to hold back her disgust and smile while doing it.
In the cage...
Skunk(disgusted): Aw, man! This is terrible! We have to do something!
Rabbit(crying): Well, it's hopeless now! Baboon's taken the one girl I love, and now, he won her for good!
Skunk(shocked): What are you talking about?! You're just giving her up now?!
Rabbit: (still crying) What choice do I have? Baboon's got us cornered, and now, he's found a way to win Fox! Why haven't I been that clever?! (cries hardly)
Skunk: Get a grip, Rabbit! You can't let Baboon win like that!
Rabbit: Well, it's all over now!
Baboon and Fox stop dancing and Baboon takes them outside to his fort. He sets up dinner there, which is just deep-fried bananas, and it disgusts Fox when she's about to puke. Still, she eats every last deep-fried banana on her plate, and pretends to show satisfaction and smile about it. Then, they walk around with each other's hand in hand, frollicing through the fields. At the sunset, they sit, with each other's hand in hand, and then Baboon pulls Fox over to KISS! This really disgusts Fox, but she does it anyway, and fakes a smile.
Meanwhile, in the cage...
Skunk: (stomach rumbles) Man, I could really go for, whatever they're eating right now!
Rabbit: Yeah me too! I'm starving! And man, it's so BORING in here! Hey, is something hot in here, or is it just me? And P.U.! Something really stinks!
Skunk: Hey! I have nowhere else to skunk!
Rabbit: Aw, man! Keep it to yourself next time!
Fox and Baboon go back inside the cave. Baboon has made a proposal.
Baboon: Ah, my love, this has been the greatest evening in my entire life!
Fox(sarcastically): Yeah, heh, it sure has!
Baboon(nervously): (chuckling nervously) Heh heh heh. Well, I've been thinking about this for awhile, and, well...
Fox(sarcastically): Yes, my love?
Baboon: (takes out a ring) Well, I was wondering if you could... MARRY ME?
Skunk: NO! Fox, DON'T!
Rabbit: (covers up his mouth) Quiet, squirt! Or Baboon will KILL US!
With hesitation, Fox takes the ring, and Baboon smiles deeply. This had been the BEST day of his life! Nothing else mattered now! He didn't care if Dragon burned him right now. At least he would have known he had finally found LOVE!
However, Fox, throws the ring into Baboon's eye.
Baboon(painfully): (rubbing his eye) Oooowwwww!
She then kicks him in the crotch and kicks his nose and himself to the wall.
Baboon's nose starts bleeding heavily and his eyes water. He starts crying.
Baboon: Why, my love?
Fox(furiously): Don't EVER make me kiss you again! I've never been so disgusted in my entire life!
Baboon(still crying): But I thought what we had was special!
Fox: I NEVER loved you, Baboon, you hideous, heartless monster! I will NEVER marry you! This evening has been the worst in my ENTIRE LIFE! And finally, I HATE BANANAS!! (picks up a bunch of bananas and throws it on his head) I love Rabbit, and I will NEVER love you! You're hideous, disgusting, and revolting! Rabbit has taken my heart, not YOU!
Baboon: But what do you find so special about Rabbit? (flexes) I have muscles, soft fur, and I'm handsome!
Fox: Well, Rabbit is soft and fluffy, and cute! He's also very thoughtful of me, and he would never capture me like you would! Your strong muscles may be able to steal the hearts of any girls, but I'm not just "any girl"!
Baboon's sadness turned to rage. He decided to let go of Fox, and rather than hopelessly follow her, he would make her pay.
Baboon(angrily): So it has come to this? Fine! If I can't have you, then NO ONE CAN! (pulls lever down, lowering cave into lava pit)
Fox(furiously): NO! YOU MONSTER! Kicks Baboon in the head, causing him to bleed from the face. He lies on the ground, angrily, scowling at Fox.
Skunk and Rabbit: AAAAHHHHHH!!
Fox: Skunk! Rabbit!
She dashes speedily and leaps across the lava pit, saving Skunk and Rabbit. She somehow made it across.
Fox(relieved): Rabbit! You're alive! (hugs him)
Skunk: Quick! Let's get out of here!
They rush to the exit, but it's sealed off by bars.
Baboon(over megaphone): LEAVING SO SOON? WELL, DON'T FORGET YOUR PARTING GIFT!
He bangs the walls of the cave so hard that it's about to cause a cave-in.
Skunk: We gotta get out of here! Man, he's taking this really hard!
Baboon(over megaphone): YOU FOOLISH VALLEY DWELLERS WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS CAVE! HA HA HA HA HA!
Fox: Oh no! The exit's blocked!
Skunk: We're DOOMED!
Baboon lunges towards Skunk, Rabbit, and Fox. Fox is pounding the exit really hard, hopefully to break the rocks and allow them to escape.
Baboon(furiously): I'll make sure you infernal valley dwellers NEVER leave this cave!
Skunk: (covering his ears) Okay, we heard you the first time!
Rabbit: (covering his ears) What are you, some broken record?
Baboon: THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'LL DESTROY YOU ANNOYING VALLEY DWELLERS! (he lunges at Skunk, Rabbit, and Fox)
Skunk: Now!
Rabbit: Pull the lever!
Skunk, Rabbit, and Fox pull the lever, and the rope tension overloads the cave that it all topples down, on top of Baboon.
Baboon(frustrated): Ah, Wasabi!
Rabbit: Let's get out of here!
The three then leave the cave as it caves in, with Baboon trapped inside. Needless to say, though, he will return, as he always does for some reason. Now, Rabbit and Fox are having a very personal moment with each other. Skunk was forced to leave their prescence or they would beat him up.
Fox: Rabbit! I'm so relieved to finally be in the hands of my true love, not that heartless monster Baboon!
Rabbit: And I thought I lost you, Fox! But I promise, as long as we're together, NOTHING can separate us! Still, as heartless as he may be, he seemed to be very thoughtful of you!
Fox: As if. He never really asked what I wanted. But knowing him, he probably would have done anything for me just to have me.
Rabbit: Well, now we're alone, and there's no one to disturb our moment.
The two lunge over to kiss, but Skunk gets in the way again, this time letting one off right between them.
Rabbit and Fox(interrupted): SKUNK! You ruined our perfect moment!
Skunk(mischieviously): (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! Well, what can you do? I'm just a kid! (winks eye)
