The slow wedding march softly echoed down the aisles, I gulped and took my place next to my brother Sora. He grinned and hugged me, I returned the hug half-heartedly. He pulled away and smiled, fixing both of his blue eyes on the doors. This is what's best for him now. I know that when I see her smiling at him my heart will break, but at least the pain will last. I saw black clouding the edges of my view, the usual grief obscuring my vision. I arranged my features into a blank smile. Lifeless. Dead.
The large oak doors swung open, the church windows casting light upon the angel entering. The clouds of black disported, her light resounding and stunning me to my core. I couldn't breathe. Her blonde hair swung off her left shoulder, casting off a luminous glow of curls as she smiled brightly. The perfection of her heart-shaped face hit me full force, her perfect half-curve lips curled gracefully around her teeth as she smiled at Sora. Maybe he can make her happy. She belongs in fairytales and Im just not her prince anymore.
She slowly drifted down the aisle gracefully, the smiles of her families increasing as they laid eyes on her. She giggled softly; the sound striking my torn heart, making it beat erratically, the sound of bells resounding in my head. Her white wedding gown floated out behind her, billows of white silk washing over the floor. My heart thumped uncomfortably in my chest.
She smiled at Sora as he took a step forward and held out a hand to her. She grinned and took it.
"You look beautiful" he whispered lovingly to her. My heart fell apart. They turned to face the minister, smiles on both their faces. My eyes were stuck on Namine. At least she could be happy now.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between Sora Strife and Namine Sato. If anyone wishes to object to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace" I held down the words struggling to slip from my clenched mouth, meeting the eyes of the angel. She glanced at me once, her magnificent face full of an expression I could not muster even if I tried. She looked away. Silence was echoing through the hall, piercing my numb ears.
"Now, we proceed to the vows. Do you, Sora Strife take this woman, Namine Sato, to be yours forever, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?" The minister stated simply, turning to Sora. He rubbed the back of his head, smiling.
"I do" he said, grinning at Namine. Her eyes lit up, a smile gracing her pale, perfect face. There were times were she used to smile at me like that.
"Do you, Namine Sato, take this man, Sora Strife, to be yours forever, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?" The minister said, turning to Namine.
"I do" she said, her voice tinkling like bells as it echoed through the halls.
My world collapsed, spiralling inwards on itself as it pulled around me, wrapping me in a deep dark hole. I do. Our memories together flashed before my eyes, making my heart clutch in pain. She chose him, she chose him I repeated in my mind. I could see every mistake I'd made, every opportunity I'd missed to tell her how much I loved her, every stolen touch or promise I'd made to her.
Now I was too late, she belonged to someone else. I dragged my eyes away form the kissing couple, finding the pain too great to handle. I clenched my fist tight against my chest, wishing I could go back in time and change everything. It should be me kissing her, me who proposed, me who married her. Not Sora, as much as I loved him. I wanted her to suddenly change her mind, decide it was me she wanted in my desperation.
They walked slowly down the aisle, hand in hand, smiling happily at the wedding guests. Axel grinned at them, turning to wink at me. Sora wound his arm around Namine's slender waist; she rested her head on his strong broad shoulder. He can protect her now, as I always have. I followed robotically, my blue eyes filling up with tears as I breathed in and out calmly. I didn't feel alive anymore. I was empty.
The hallway blurred from my sight as the hours swished by me, I wished to grab the flying time and to slow it down, but my dead body didn't move. It couldn't move. I sat down in the rickety white wedding chair, staring at my brother and my best friend waltzing on the dance floor. Their first dance. Namine had her eyes closed contentedly, her forehead leaning against Soras as they spun in each others arms. Every now and again Sora would lean in, closing the distance between their lips.
My heart shattered. I stood up, pushing my chair back in quietly, feeling my tears stream down my cheeks. I have to get out of here before somebody sees. I ran out of the marquee, catching Kairi shoot a worried glance at me. I guess she knows. I ran out into the night, a rough breeze washing the smell of Paopu fruit and sea salt across my tear streaked face.
I ran out across the beach, throwing my shoes off aggressively as I cried out into the night. The palm trees swayed in the wind, creaking. My legs loosened, my body drying out as it became weaker and weaker, but I ignored it and kept running, coming to a halt at the stormy sea's edge.
For the first time and last time, I contemplated taking my own life. The pain racked through my body, making my fall to my knees, the gaping hole in my chest opening further as I drew in shuddered gasps. I prayed for release, anything was better than this. I could hear our song from here. I retched, falling forwards into the water gathered at the shore.
I raised my head above it, dragging myself further and further in. The waves crashed over my body sharply, knocking the breath from my gasping lungs. I shakily stood up, my clothes weighing me down, the waves smacking me aggressively in the shins. I turned to face the marquee, seeing the flap open as Namine and Sora came out, holding hands. Worry was apparent on her angelic features as she searched for me, Sora's expression mirroring hers. I laughed darkly. Im surprised they even noticed I was gone. But it's too late now. No matter what she says, she can never make it better. There's no other way out.
I walked backwards into the ocean, the waves rising and pounding around my waist, knocking my feet from underneath me. A huge wave building up behind me quickly, I could feel the water raising my body up. I looked up to see the wave towering above me, ready to strike my deadened body. I stayed as still as I could, and closed my eyes, waiting for death to take me.
"ROXAS, DON'T!" Sora screamed, starting towards me, releasing her hand.
"ROXAS!" Namine screeched, she was out breath, obviously trying to reach me. She saw me.
I would be dead before she could get anywhere near me.
I let myself fall backwards, the wave hitting my body with a tremendous force. I let it wash me deeper and deeper into the sea; I could no longer see the sky. I thought of Namine's smiling face as I opened my mouth and breathed in the cold salty water. The icy water stabbed my lungs as I choked, my vision quickly fading into darkness. I bucked forwards, leaving my mouth open to ensure my disappearance from this world. It was so painful, but I was glad.
I saw Namine swimming above me, her fragile body hit by the waves as she searched frantically. She had taken off her wedding dress, her white cotton bra and pants clung to her slender figure. Her milky skin glowed in the bright moonlight. Axel was not too far behind her. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she looked beautiful none the less. She reached her arms out to me, swimming down frantically.
She was warm, contrasting with the temperature of the water. Namine grabbed me, trying to pull me too the surface. She was struggling; I could tell I was too heavy for her. I could almost hear the screams in her head. Why is she bothering? I opened my weary mouth, and looked up at her face, running a numb hand across her cheek. If she wasn't in water, I would see the tears on her face.
"I love you" I gurgled, drawing in more water. She read my lips. A sense of peace rolled through my limbs, making my tense body go limp. At least she knew. I closed my eyes and let myself slip away.
