Kingdom News Act 1
Sora:I'm your super head anchorman Sora.
Roxas:And I'm his assitant Roxas
Sora:Shut Up Roxas nobody cares about you!
Roxas:does an evil death glare at Sora Anyways todays top story consists of..
Sora:Kairi!
Roxas:Yes Kairi and Axel
Sora:What does Axel have to do with my Kairi?!
Roxas:I don't know why don't we go with our reporter Riku for the details. (points his fingers at the screen and it goes to Riku)
(Goes to a jail with Axel in a jail cell behind Riku)
Riku:Yes we are here in Nobody Jailand we have the convicted person of Kairi's rape right here.
Axel:(grabbing the bars)It wasen't me I swear it was Xigbar
Riku:Yah that's what they all say
Axel:No I'm serious let me out I don't wanna get butt raped!
Riku:What ever people like you deserve this.
Axel:But..
Riku:I don't want any of ur butts!
back to you Sora
(Goes to the news desk)
Sora:What the...
Roxas:I know and I always thought Axel was...
Sora:What?
Roxas:Never Mind but anyways we now have Tidus, Wakka, and Selpie with the Weather
Wakka:Well today it will be sunny and HOT!A flameing 97 degrees man.
Tidus:Yes,It will be a 75 degrees celcius today in Land of the dragons.
Selphie:Your soposed to do it in ferhiniet Stupid!
Tidus:Oh well then it will be a -30
degress ferinheit
Wakka:Yah Man that's cold
Selphie:Also the 5 day forecast will be with Me!
Goes to a gaint 5 day forecast calander
Selphie:UHHH Psssst Wakka what am I soposed to say again
Wakka:I don't know say anything
Selphie:Uhhhh Wakka and Tidus are wearing matching power ranger underwear?
Tidus:NO SELPHIE UR NOT SOPOSED TO SAY THAT!
Selphie:Well he said say any..
Wakka:(jumps in front of the screen) TTFN TA TA FOE NOW!
(blacks out and goes to a commiricial)
Werid announcer voice:It's Xigbar's hunting channel and we hunt every animal in the..the..WORLDS YAh let's go with that.
Xigbar:Aww you idiots!Let me do it!
(speaks in a fast voice)
We hunt everything form Deer to heartless to Candy Balls whatever those are and all sorts of stuff we..
(Big sighn comes across the screen)
THIS JUST IN AXEL, THE CULPRIT OF KAIRI'S RAPE IS ON THE LOOSE!WATCH OUT HE'S CRAZY!HE'S CARRYING HIS CHAKRAMS AND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NAMED XIGBAR (and Roxas) IF YOU SEE HIM PLEASE GIVE US A CALL!
(Goes back to the hunting commircial)
Xigbar:Ohhhh SHIT! I'm dead so dead (Starts running in circles)
Axel:he bust's in through the wall XIGBAR ur dead unless you confess the truth!
Xigbar:Axel calm down it was just a misunderstanding (starts backing up)
Axel:NO WAY TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH OR UR DEAD! (throws a chakram at Xigbar and pins him to the wall)
Xigbar:Okay okay I DID IT!
Axel:What did you do?
Xigbar:I RAPED Kairi!
(The police walk in and take Xigbar in to custodey)
(Goes to the news desk)
Sora:Wow...That was...the weridest commirical break i have ever seen
Roxas:Yah
Sora:I mean i have been in this bussiness WHAT? 5 hours and that was the...the..stupidest commircial ever (rambles on about the commircial)
Roxas:Yah whatever Sora anyway's we now have Kingdom Numbers with Demyx
Sora:(Stops rambleing) Hey I was soposed to say that!
Roxas:Yah you "were" but since you wouldn't shutup I said it.
Sora:Oh aren't you just dandy!
Roxas:aren't is not technally a word
Sora:KNOCK IT OFF!!!
(Goes to the numbers screen)
Demyx:HEY PEOPLE! and I'm Demyx the ruler of Kingdom Numbers
Random Voice:Just get on with it!
Demyx:Ok I'm going but yah umm psst hey random dude what's this number cuz it's really big
Random Dude:100,000,000
Demyx:Ok thank you 100,000,000 nobodies attacked...psst what's this number
Random Voice:in a sarcastic voice Cannibilistic BUTT!
Demyx:Thank you! canibilistic BUTT! Heartless
Random Voice:Demyx get off the screen
Demyx:But I'm not done
Random Voice:GET OFF!! throws a chair at him
Demyx:(In a scared voice)Ok OK just don't hurt me (starts inching off the screen)
random voice:Now back to you guys at the news desk!
(Goes to the news desk)
Sora:Wow that was really...What's the word I'm looking for..
Roxas:Cheap Cheesey Stupid stop me when you hear something you like
Sora:Oh now I know PATHETIC!
Roxas:Now that's not very nice
Sora:Would you be quiet becase last time I cheacked I was head anchorman and you were seconed hand!
Roxas:Yah so your point is technacally
Sora:That I'm doing the talking form now on!
Roxas:OK ok geeeeez
Sora:Now we are going to our other story about the rumor's of Axel sucking his thumb.
Roxas:(starts whistleing)
Sora:Hey you now something Kingdom Boy SO SPILL IT!
Roxas:Nope you said you did you did the talking remember I can't say anything (Smirks)
Sora:(mumbles) Fine you can take the report
Roxas:YES! Ok so is it true? Members of the Organazation say that they saw Axel sucking his thumb hugging a teddy bear that was all red.Is it true.Well Axel said no.But this tape we got said other wise.
(A film starts playing on the screen It was Axel laying in a blanket sucking his thumb.Holding close a red Teddy Bear that was about the size of his hand.)
Sora:There you have it folks
Roxas:Yep flamey has been discovred
Flames go across the screen then die down and Axel is on the screen.
Axel:Wtf Roxas I thought we had something special Starts crying
Roxas:We did but now it's time to let go.
OKKKKKK THAT WAS WERID AND I GESS AWKWARD SOOO WILL AXEL AND ROXAS HOOK UP? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW!
Sora:Hey I'm sopsed to end!
Narrator: Okay
Sora: Allright people you know that we will be on tomorrow at 8 am and 8 pm so see you then!
screen blacks out and goes to commircial
