Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story belong to us. Sadly. Well, I guess the narrator of this story does…And some random characters later on…but still. Not ours.

Last Saturday……or, maybe it was next Saturday? I can't tell, time is difficult to understand, especially when you're as old and senile as me. Still, on a Saturday all the same (at least, that's what they call it on your planet, you arrogant humans you) I happened upon a strange blue box, rocketing through time and space, completely out of control.

The TARDIS' lights flickered savagely, and alarms the Doctor didn't even know had been equipped to the TARDIS were sounding, droning out a foreboding tune as the TARDIS hurtled through time and space, taking the Doctor farther and father away from the universe he knew.

"Impressive," the Doctor thought to himself, "the author of this story managed to fit the word TARDIS into that one sentence three times. Now that's a feat."

The Doctor began to struggle with the controls of the TARDIS, hoping to get it back under control. It was a rather feudal attempt, to say the least. Realizing this, he leapt back and grabbed onto the nearest sturdy part of the TARDIS, and tried to steady himself as his beloved blue box continued its rampage. The TARDIS had locked on to a signal, and was closing in for the kill, wherever that might lead. There'd be no stopping it now.

I wonderedwhat the bloody pilot was thinking. After some amount of time, it occurred to me that maybe the pilot was drunk. Always a possibility, after all, most pilots of time and space craft are idiots, muddling around in time and accidentally killing their grandmother by, say, stepping on a butterfly.

The heart of the TARDIS began to emit high screeching noises, like the sound of metal on metal, nails on a chalk board. Hearing this, the Doctor knew the worst was yet to come.

"Especially," he thought, "when the author starts saying stupid clichés like that."

He tightened his grip until his knuckles shone white.

I watched as it hurtled through time and space without a care (it nearly hit the planet Cheerio World1 [Ze Mad Hatter was here. I go there for snacks.) with a slight frown (well, I don't have a face, but my whole essence was boiling with this enormous fury [actually, to be frank, my irritation was more like when a mosquito is buzzing by your ear….If you have one. but you know what I mean). The box, which I could now see was a blue 1950's police box, continued on it's course and I was about to stop it when it picked up speed and crashed right through the barrier separating the universe from the Void.

The blue police box that wasn't, in fact, a police box but instead a time machine that was bigger on the inside gave a great shudder, then all hell broke loose. (Figuratively speaking, of course, as the Beast wasn't there, and…well, you get the point.) The Doctor commented afterwards that the shaking of the TARDIS was easily equal to a quite substantial earthquake. Brushing some non-existent dust off his coat, (as people always do in movies after an earthquake or some such thing) the Doctor moved over to one of the many screens of the control panel. He glanced in passing at the reading on it at first, then did a double take. His eyes widened as he read further, and a single thought ran through his mind.

"Rose…"

Now I was… (No, no, I won't admit it!) curious (I know, I know, it's so terribly tragic. A great god like myself succumbing to mortal emotions….Ugh.) so I decided to investigate its doings. So instead of actually moving, I used my super spiffy godly powers (or SSGP, for short) to learn about the blue box and its inhabitant. I learned that he was not, in fact, drunk, just slightly daft (only one shoe, GODS!), and all that other "Last Time Lord" stuff (or LTL. By the Gods, I do love acronyms!). I forced myself to move in order to see the events that followed. I followed the trail to a parallel universe Earth. Now, there may have been some sort of great rejoicing between Rose and the Doctor, but I missed it by a hair. Deal with it.

The Doctor glanced over at the author, and grabbed his sonic screwdriver.

"Bah," he shouted at her, "Like I'm going to allow these three nutcases to write Rose's and my reunion."

Huzzah! First chapter complete! And not to shabby, if I do say so myself.

Most parts from the god's point of view where written by the Beckster, while I wrote all the stuff from the Doctor's point of view.

Beckster: POV, you dope, POV!!

Sable: Okay, fine, POV.

You'll get to see an example of Ze Mad Hatter's writing in the next chapter, which will be a short story on Cheerio world. THEN we'll post the next actual chapter. Got a problem with it? DEAL WITH IT. No, I'm kidding. Please, read and review, and tell us what you think.

Beckster: So that we can ignore it.

Sable: Exactly.

Ze Mad Hatter: Milkshake!!!

1 Cheerio World will be fully explained in the next chapter. I think you can wait till then, yes?