It's my one year anniversary with fanfiction today (! :O) so I thought I'd post a songfic in celebration! You are all awesome. Thanks for reading and for those that have been behind me at any point in the last year, it truly means the world to me.

Special thanks to leanaplumz for correcting my travel time mistake. I copped out and took the easy way out this time ;)

I do not own Life with Derek or Stay by Miley Cyrus.


Casey McDonald smiled as she hung up the phone in her moonlit apartment bedroom. Her tears continued to fall rapidly down her pretty face.

Although phone calls to her family normally left her giggling and giddy, this one had left her face slowly morphing into a more solemn expression.

Then the sobs began.

She had known what she was getting into when she chose to dance in New York instead of following her plan to go to Queens in the fall. Really, she did. She knew it would be tough, hearing only anecdotes of the family's adventures rather than witnessing them herself, and being unable to reach out and hug her sister when she tearfully whispered that she missed her. She knew it was going to be hard, tough, and that she would grow up and realize the important things in life. She knew she would be going through the same thing at Queens. Although she was further here than she would be at Queens, the distance would hurt at either place. She loved her family and her friends and missed them all terribly.

But the difference tonight was that, although it had only been three months, she had finally heard his voice. A voice she hadn't even realized she missed with every fibre in her being. A person she hadn't realized exactly how much she missed until the very moment his obnoxious arrogant tone cut across the feel-good-mushy-family moments.

Well it's good to hear your voice

I hope you're doing fine

And if you ever wonder

I'm lonely here tonight

Lost here in this moment

Time keeps slipping by

If I could have just one wish

I'd have you by my side

Casey didn't want to admit that she had missed her jerk of a step-brother. She thought about him a lot; what kind of trouble he could be getting into at Queens, how many girls he was going through, how his grades were holding up without her to nag him. Sure they texted sometimes, but it wasn't the same as talking with someone everyday. She lived with him for crying out loud. He used to start bugging her the second she walked out of her room in the morning, until she closed her door for the night. She hated to admit it but she missed it. Their fights. Their banter. She missed that cocky smirk when he thought he had one-upped her, and the way his one eyebrow rose when she proved him wrong.

She missed his constant presence in her life. He shoved himself into her personal business, even when she didn't realize it, and she was the exact same way with him. Losing him, someone who had been so infested in her life for the past four years, was like losing half of herself. She felt lost without him.

She had gone through all these things many times. She missed Derek Venturi. That was news-worthy itself. But it was hitting hard tonight. Probably because hearing him there, visiting the family, reminded her how much simpler that would be when she was at Queens. It reminded her how her and Derek would be guaranteed to have at least a few hours drive solely together where they could catch up and argue and be the Casey-and-Derek they always were. She wished they were there together, somewhere, even here. He would be a shred of her life to cling on to. Here she was so alone it was like the hole in her heart could swallow her up.

Oh I miss you

Oh I need you

And I love you more than I did before

And if today I don't see your face

Nothing's changed, no one can take your place

It gets harder everyday

Say you love me more than you did before

And I'm sorry it's this way

But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home

And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay

Casey really wanted to be brave and strong and say that she was independent and only needed to rely on herself, but the fact was she did need something, or someone to depend on. She needed him to keep her grounded. Before she met the Venturis, Casey McDonald was a mad scramble of perfectionism and overly high expectations. Her mother encouraged the behaviour, not wanting to discourage standards and ambitions. But the divorce put a strain on both her girls and Casey ended up being the one to go into over-drive. She was starting to spiral out of control.

But Derek brought her back to earth, gave her reality checks on a daily basis. Although it wasn't quite as gentle as Nora would have done, she was grateful for his efforts since Casey seemed to really listen when it was coming from him. Her mother figured he was an attractive male peer so of course insecure and in-need-of-some-attention Casey would lap up anything he said without even thinking twice about it. But Derek fell right into the same trap. He was just as into it, just as in need of it, and they both grew together.

No one else could do that for Casey. No one else could make her see sense when she was at her worst, no one could ground her and mentally shake everything she knew and have it clatter to the ground just so he could help her pick up the pieces and put them back together the right way, from the beginning.

Life in New York was wonderful, in theory. She was staying with her father, which meant free rent and time with the absent parent she had definitely missed, and the place was located in a great spot in town. Jesse was about two blocks away and walked her home from the studio every night to make sure she was safe. He was gentle and sweet and a great friend to her. She could be comfortable with him but not necessarily happy. He was simple and easy and effortless, but she didn't get much out of it. She wanted more. She craved the passion and craze she shared with Derek and Derek only.

It wasn't until she was saying goodbye to Derek the day she left London that she realized just how strongly her feelings for him were. He had been avoiding her ever since she had announced she was taking Bernard Blue's offer. When he finally, reluctantly, joined the family in her goodbye, he smirked at her and held out one arm. He half-hugged her until Marti shouted at him, then he enveloped her in his strong arms and whispered in her ear.

"Take care of yourself, Case. I can't bail you out so easily when you're so far away." he murmured, squeezing her tightly for a moment before releasing her.

That was when the waterworks went overboard and Derek ducked out of there before he had to deal with tears.

But now, here she was again, this time without him and the tears were far worse. She crawled into her bed and curled into a ball, hugging her knees tightly as she cried.

Her dad was asleep and didn't hear her cries. She felt so alone. There was no one she could call, and only one person she wanted to talk to. But he'd never want to talk to her, not when she was crying, right?

It wasn't long before she cried herself to sleep.

That was until…

*Beep Beep*

Her cell phone signalled a text message. She groggily picked it up, wiping her still-wet-face as she curiously peered at the too-bright screen. She had cried in her sleep too it seemed, and it left her eyes sore.

u ok? U seemed weird on phone but maybe its just been 2 long & I forgot how odd u r ;)

She giggled a little. Typical Derek, glazing over concern with insults.

She sighed though. She couldn't muster enough strength to think of a witty reply. She stuck with the truth.

I really wish I was home right now.

She crossed the room and sat on her windowsill, looking up at the dark sky. New York was too bright to see many stars, but she spotted one sole star far past the shining lights.

She knew Derek was awake, wherever he was now, and that maybe, just maybe, he was looking up at the stars now too. They shared the same sky, even in different countries. It made her feel just a smidgen closer to him.

Well I tried to live without you

But tears fall from my eyes

I'm alone and I feel empty

God I'm torn apart inside

I look up at the stars

Hoping you're doing the same

And somehow I feel closer

And I can hear you say

Why couldn't she be home right now? She could walk over the few steps to Derek's room, knock on the door, listen to him shout and freak out at her even thinking of entering his room. Then she'd enter, he'd try to act all cold and angry, but he'd let her come in and listen to her in his Derek-way, and things would be better somehow.

Her phone beeped again and she looked down, knocking teardrops off her eyelashes so her vision wasn't blurred.

miss u 2 klutzilla.

Her sobs began again. He had admitted that he missed her. In Derek-world, that was HUGE. Was he hurting as much as she was? Is that what this meant? Did he need her like she needed him? Did he really love and care about her? Was it brotherly feelings or did he mean something more?

I miss you so much :( im sorry for ever leaving.

dont cry honey. r u coming home 4 xmas?

of course.

She wondered why he was suddenly curious. He knew she was planning on coming home for Christmas. She had said it before she left and it was obvious she wouldn't miss Christmas with the family, not for anything. Even if she did love spending time with her father, her true family lived in London, Ontario and she would spend the holiday season with them. There was no questions about it. No job would get in the way of that.

good. ill start the plans 4 xmas pranks.

Derek! :/

Even a country away, it still warms my heart :D

She rolled her eyes but giggled to herself. She missed seeing his reactions to her words. Der-ek always guaranteed a satisfied smirk or sometimes a full-blown grin, depending on how loud and screechy it was.

Oh I miss you

Oh I need you

And I love you more than I did before

And if today I don't see your face

Nothing's changed, no one can take your place

It gets harder everyday

Say you love me more than you did before

And I'm sorry it's this way

But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home

And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay, always stay

It was then that she heard a quiet knock on the front door. She frantically looked over at her alarm clock. It was almost two am. Who on earth could that be?

Knowing her dad would sleep through an asteroid hitting the building, Casey slipped on her fuzzy bunny slippers and tiptoed to the door. She couldn't see anyone through the peephole so she cautiously opened the door.

"Jeez Space-Case, could you take any longer? It's freezing out here!" a familiar too-good-to-be-true voice harped in the hallway.

At the sound, Casey flung open the door and threw herself into her step-brother's arms.

"Der-ek! Why didn't you tell me you were coming!" she squealed, trying to keep her voice down but far too excited.

"That would be considerate of me." he replied with a laugh at her overexcitement, but she wasn't fooled. He was hugging her back for once, and just as tightly. She could have sworn he inhaled the smell of her shampoo when he nestled his face in her hair. "God Case, I wasn't lying earlier." he murmured so quietly she could have sworn she made it up.

Casey broke away, grinning brightly, and dragged him by the hand to her room.

Derek collapsed back on her bed, kicking off his shoes and getting comfortable in the pillows. "You need to eat more. You've lost weight." he commented with his eyes closed.

She rolled her eyes. "I've been rehearsing hard and long. I'm lucky I get time to eat at all."

Derek patted the bed space next to him without opening his eyes. Casey somehow knew what he wanted and quickly shuffled onto the bed so she was cuddled into his side. She finally felt safe and happy and whole.

I never wanna lose you

And if I had to I would choose you

So stay, please always stay

You're the one that I hold on to

My heart would stop without you

"How long are you here for?" she finally mustered the courage to ask, her voice small and child-like.

Derek paused before answering. "As long as you want me to be. I haven't bought my return ticket yet. I didn't know exactly how soon you'd be sick of me." he teased.

Casey didn't speak right away either. It seemed the late night left them self-conscious, but still honest. "Please stay." she whispered, any other words failing her.

Derek pulled her closer, causing her to turn her head up to look at him as her tears began falling for the umpteenth time. He reached his fingers out to brush them away.

"Case, you know I can't stay forever." he told her gently.

She nodded into his chest now, knowing he was right. She was so overemotional at seeing him, seeing anyone in the flesh from her family, that she wasn't thinking straight. It was an emotional day, an emotional few months.

She knew in her time apart from Derek she had grown to appreciate more and more what he did for her, stuff she hadn't even realized until she had time to sit and analyze their relationship. Derek was good for her, he helped her see sense. She needed that shake-up when she let her head or emotions get in the way.

She had grown a lot in four years. For a man she used to resent, she now loved and cared for deeply, more deeply than she had ever cared for another person. She realized, when she lay in his arms listening to his heart beat, that there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for him.

"Why did you come?" Casey asked, still sounding so vulnerable. She didn't understand why she was acting this way around Derek of all people, but it had been an emotional night and he wasn't exactly keeping up the charade either.

He sighed. "I knew you were upset. I was…worried. So I booked a redeye and got here as soon as I could to make sure you were okay."

She smiled shyly. "That's so sweet…"

"Don't get used to it." he muttered, also confused on where all this honesty was coming from.

"I'm glad you came. I've missed you so much. And the family." she added quickly and changing her tone from dreamy to solemn. "I miss everyone so much."

Derek exhaled, pulling her closer at her confession.

"Come home with me. Plead sickness, anything. The family misses you desperately." he whispered to her, stroking a line through her hair and down her back.

"D, I want to. You have no idea how badly…but I have commitments…" she trailed off. Why was she arguing? To start another fight? To have him fight for her?

Derek lifted her face to meet his eyes. "Not to visit. To stay."

"To…stay…?" she whispered, confused, as if not understanding his words.

"Please stay." he whispered softly, his eyes torn with emotions.

"Derek-" she began, her own emotions choking her voice, when he suddenly captured her lips in his, kissing her forcefully on the mouth.

Her first instinct was shock, but soon more primal instinct kicked in and she joined in eagerly, clutching him to her. It felt like some wonderful dream, probably because she had dreamt of this moment countless times. Thank god Derek never found her real dream diary.

Casey ran out of air rather quickly since she hadn't been expecting the sudden kiss. Derek understood and broke away but moved to nuzzle her neck, gently brushing her hair away so he could kiss behind her ear. She shivered at the contact and found her hand sliding under his shirt to push him closer, encouraging his actions. He grinned against her skin but didn't stop.

She whispered his name in the darkness, as if pleading with a high power to keep him with her, to never let them be apart again. Her heart was swelling with emotion for the man before her. She would never be able to go back to the way things were.

When he finally did break away, he kissed her mouth again, gently this time.

She didn't leave his arms, cuddling close, letting him hold her tightly to him. She knew then that he was as into this as she was. He didn't want to leave, at least not without her, as much as she didn't want him to.

Finally they agree on something!

He leaned his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. He tried not to get distracted by her rising and falling chest beneath him and continued their conversation as if there had been no interruption. "You could still go to Queens for the winter semester. Apply. You'll get in instantly. You could probably still salvage a decent scholarship…"

"And the first show does end in December. I could come home for Christmas and help prepare for the new baby, then when January hits leave with you to Queens…"

"And we could get that apartment Nora and Dad wanted us to if we went together. It would be much better than my dorm…"

"And I'd be so much closer to the family…"

"And me." he murmured, kissing her softly on the lips again. She sighed into him, loving the feel of his lips on hers, feeling more blissful and relaxed than she had in months.

Coming to New York to dance was incredible and exciting, but turned dance into much more of a gruelling chore than a fun passion some days. She still loved dance, but had been wondering lately if she would have had more fun dancing at a team at Queens than with serious athletes whose sole purpose in life was to prove themselves to the world.

"D…this…thing between us…would it end if we went to Queens?" she asked sadly, thinking of all the problems that could occur, which was a LONG list.

He grinned. "It would begin, princess."

She smiled brightly back. He was willing to fight for them too.

"But what about-"

"Case, we'll deal with all of that. Just promise me that come Christmas, you will stay." he said, half-asking, half-stating.

She smiled, snuggling close again. "I will stay."

I love you more than I did before

And if today I don't see your face

Nothing's changed, no one can take your place

It gets harder everyday

Say you love me more than you did before

And I'm sorry that it's this way

But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home

And if you ask me I will stay, I will stay, I'll always stay

And I love you more than I did before

And I'm sorry that it's this way

But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home

And if you ask I will stay, I will stay, I will stay