Blindside


This is the first story in a series of sixteen stories. It follows the struggles of Dr. Robin Shepherd (based on myself), who has been at County General since the beginning of the TV series. You can see more about my character in my profile/bio. I hope you enjoy it.


But he hides a dark soul and foul thoughts

Benighted walks under the midday sun;

Himself his own dungeon.

John Milton – "Light Within"


-Part 1-

"Signs"

March 3

It's the beginning of the day shift at Chicago's County General Hospital, and a very disheveled Dr. Robin Shepherd shuffles out of the lounge. She's tall and slender, with dark brown hair and eyes that are a startling deep hazel in her pale face. Even though she's 36, there's still a sense of innocence about her.

Michael Gallant, a fourth-year medical student, stands at the front desk, ready to hand off his patients. "Oh, my God," he smiles, "look what the cat dragged in."

Robin gives a quick, sarcastic grin and says, "Shut up, I had to get up three times last night to pee." She has a distinct Southern accent—having been born in Kentucky and lived in Tennessee for most of her life—but it's faded over the past eleven years, after she moved up to the Windy City to start her residency.

Gallant hands her the charts, "I've got three drunks for ya."

"Three?!" she says with surprise.

"They're comin' outta the woodwork," he laughs and starts for the exit, "see ya!"

She scoffs and mumbles, "Lucky bastard."

As she reads over the charts, Frank, the desk clerk, asks discreetly, "So, ya havin' trouble with your plumbin', huh?"

"Excuse me?" she asks.

He rephrases his question, "You said you had to get up a lot last night... You need to get that checked out."

"I'm fine, Frank, don't worry," Robin smiles.

He shakes his head, "Could be serious, y'know... Plus, no offense, but...you look bad."

She reminds him, "I did have trouble sleeping, remember?" Then, as she starts over to the soda machine, she reassures him, "I'm fine."

As Frank stares at her, Dr. Carter walks up, sipping coffee, "Ya have a little crush there, Frank?"

"No," he says, "does she look bad to you?"

He flashes a mischievous smile, "Not from where I'm standin'!"

As he laughs to himself, Frank continues, "Seriously, does she look different to you at all?"

"She's tired, Frank," Carter says.

"That's because she said she had to get up three times last night to take a leak," he tells him. "It's probably because she drank too much before she went to bed," Carter assumes.

Then, Frank is reminded of something, "Yeah, well, she's been drinkin' more and more sodas everyday for the past month, or anything else she can get her hands on! Plus, she's losin' weight by the week and she's eatin' like a horse! Now, to me, that doesn't add up!"

Carter looks at her again and studies her as she walks down the hall drinking a Mountain Dew. "She does look skinnier than she used to... I can't believe I never noticed." He takes a deep breath and tells Frank, "It's probably nothing, but I'll ask around and see if anybody else knows anything, alright?"

"Thank you," he says and shakes his head, happy to get someone to finally listen to him.

Walking into Curtain 3, Carter finds Dr. Luka Kovac and nurse Abby Lockhart. "Hey, can I see you two for a minute?" he asks, standing in the doorway.

"Sure," Luka says, then, tells his patient, "we'll be back in a minute."

"What's goin' on?" Abby asks, as the two meet Carter in the hall.

"Uh, it's Robin."

Luka seems confused, "What about her?"

Carter takes a second. "Has she been acting strange to you?"

"No, not really. Why?" Abby says.

Carter tells them, "Frank drew my attention to some things, and I just wanted to know if you've noticed them, too."

"Go ahead," Luka tells him.

"Okay," he starts, "he told me that she's been thirsty a lot more than usual and she's been eating and drinking anything that she can get her hands on. He told me that she said she had to get up three times last night to use the bathroom; and, on top of that, she's losing weight."

Silence falls, and Luka speaks, "Now that you mention it, she has been acting odd lately, y'know, having to go to the bathroom every half-hour."

Abby adds, "Yeah, I've noticed that, too. And she looks drawn in the face, and she's tired all the time."

The three colleagues stand silent for a moment, all realizing what's happening to their friend.

Abby is obviously troubled and glances around as she puts her hands on her hips,

shifting nervously. Luka looks at John, "So...how do we handle this?"

He thinks, and admits, "I'm not sure."

Abby closes her eyes shortly and offers to help, "I'll do it... I'll talk to her."

"Are you sure?" Carter asks.

She sighs, "Yeah."

He nods his head. "Okay," he says softly and starts to head down the hall, "tell me how it goes."

Luka can sense that she's very worried, but he doesn't know what to say. He keeps his eyes on her for a second, and then, walks back into the room.

Abby stares at the floor in a daze and snaps out of it, finally. She puts a hand on her forehead and sighs, then, pushes the hair out of her face. Slowly turning toward the door, she spots Robin at the other end of the hallway looking at an x-ray. Abby can't bear to even look at her, for the fear of what might happen to her if she keeps getting sicker.

Reluctantly, she walks back into Curtain 3 and decides to talk to her friend later.


-Part 2-

"Save Me"

Three hours later

Paramedics Pickman and Zadro roll into the ER with a patient. Carter and Abby rush and help wheel the stretcher down toward the trauma rooms.

"What've we got?" Carter asks.

Pickman informs him: "22-year-old male with two gunshot wounds to the left chest, no exit wounds. Intubated in the field; pulse 90; BP is 109 over 86; resps 21; pulse ox is 93."

As they pass the nurses' station, Carter shouts to Luka––who's standing outside the suture room talking to a patient's family member, "Luka, we may need an extra pair of hands in here!"

They wheel the young man into Trauma 1, and Luka sees Dr. Greg Pratt sitting in Trauma 2 doing chart reviews on a gurney. "Pratt, you wanna help?"

"No, thanks. I'm busy," he says.

Suddenly, Robin comes in as the two paramedics leave. "Need some help?"

"Sure," Carter says, "jump right in."

20 minutes later

Robin works silently as she sews up a hole in the gunshot victim's heart. She starts to squint her eyes and breathe heavily, "Dammit, I'm havin' trouble seein' what I'm doin'."

"What's wrong?" Luka asks her.

"My vision keeps gettin' all blurry for some reason," she says and cuts herself off, "somebody take over for me."

Carter takes over where she's left off.

Abby sees Robin suddenly get a sharp pain in her side, and she moves to the other side of the gurney next to Luka––pressing on her abdomen the entire time.

Luka becomes concerned and asks, "You okay, Rob?"

"I dunno," she answers, getting another suture kit ready on an instrument tray. She suddenly becomes very still and grabs hold of the gurney rail; her face is blanched white and her breathing picks back up again.

Abby moves over next to her, "Rob, what's wrong?"

She tries to speak but only mumbles incoherently; her eyes are strange and she loses all expression on her face. She takes a step back from the gurney and puts a hand on the tray beside her as Abby keeps a close watch of her. Robin's eyelids begin to flutter, her eyeballs roll back in her head, and she loses consciousness––collapsing to the hard floor, taking the tray with her.

"Oh, my God...Robin!" Abby says, not being able to catch her and keep her from hitting her head. She kneels down next to her and feels for a pulse.

Carter, finished suturing, rushes to Robin's side. He pats her cheeks, trying to get her to open her eyes, "Robin?! Robin, WAKE UP!"

Pratt runs in, after hearing the crash of the instrument tray. "What happened to her?"

"She just passed out! Let's take her to Trauma 2!" Carter orders. They carefully pick her up and carry her next-door. "Move the charts, Pratt! Move the charts!" Carter yells––his voice filled with anger and emotion.

"How's she doing?" Luka shouts.

"I'm not sure, but she doesn't look good!" he shouts back. "C'mon, dammit, c'mon!!" he yells at Robin.

Abby stays silent as she works, putting an IV in her arm.

As the three work together, sounds and voices fade. The underlying symptoms of a deadly disease have taken down a trusted friend and have now put her in crisis, fighting for her life.

The bedlam of this doctor's life has now begun.


-Part 3-

"The Right Words"

(The music from season 7's "The Visit" begins.)

Through the doors leading into Trauma 2, you see Robin resting on the gurney dressed in a patient gown––IVs and wires hang from her arms and chest; she breathes in oxygen through a nasal cannula.

Abby stands helplessly, looking at Robin's pale skin and lifeless body. She knows that she's only resting now, but imagines the worst.

Carter walks up to her and peers through the other door. "She woke up yet?" he questions softly, not taking his eyes off of Robin.

It takes Abby a moment, but she finally whispers, "No."

"How long have you been standing here?"

"I don't know."

"You need to go home, get some rest—"

"No, I'm fine."

"You've been off for an hour—"

"Yeah, I know... I can't leave her, I can't..."

Carter looks at Abby, concerned. He nods, then says, "Okay...I understand. I'll, uh...see you when you get home, then."

She tells him, "Yeah..."

After taking another moment, Carter strolls away and leaves Abby with her thoughts. She finally decides to go in and opens the door slowly, stepping in and letting it swing closed behind her. As she gets closer, her mind begins to race: what is she going to tell her? How will she tell her? Abby steps up to the bedside and brings the siderail down; then, sits on a stool next to the bed.

Robin feels someone next to her and comes out of her sleep. She squints her eyes as she gets used to the light. "Hey," she smiles, seeing Abby sitting next to her.

"Hi," Abby murmurs. "How ya feelin'?"

Robin takes a deep breath and lets it out sharply, "Weird... God, what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Abby asks.

"Not really...it's all a big blur."

After a moment, Abby tells her, "Rob, you passed out during a trauma."

She's stunned––she can't believe that she can't remember. She closes her eyes, overcome by so many emotions at once. She knows why she passed out, she just doesn't want to hear the words.

"Rob, we found out why you collapsed..." Abby stops when she sees her start to nod her head.

Robin opens her eyes, now covered in tears, and stares at the clock above the doors for a moment. She looks over slowly until she's staring into Abby's gentle eyes, and she utters in a low tone, "Go on...say it."

Abby is shaken and feels as though she can't speak. She collects herself long enough to reveal, "Your blood sugar was 438... You lapsed into a small coma... You're diabetic."

Her face gives way to sorrow as she closes her eyes, says softly, "Hmm...shit," and begins to lose everything––tears streaming down her cheeks. She tries to hold back her sobs, but as Abby moves over and sits next to her on the bed, she lets go and breaks down in a state of paralyzing fear. Her voice is a forced whisper, "I shouldn't be here like this..." and as she cries, her voice breaks, "this isn't right..."

Abby, herself, is heartbroken and holds her best friend in her arms––rocking her back and forth. "I know...it isn't right... I know." She feels Robin shake with fear inside her embrace. "You'll be alright," she whispers. "Shhh...you'll be alright." She is powerless and can only offer love and support, along with the rest of the ER.

In an instant, Robin's world has changed with life-shattering news, and she will have to cope with never being the same.


I'll be posting three chapters at a time.

Please let me know what you think.