The VeggieTale Invasion
By Animebookworm211
Let's get one thing straight before we get into my most recent stab at comedy: I love the VeggieTales. As much as I poke fun at them in this story, it's all friendly and isn't meant to be mean. I don't know if that even makes sense...Just know that I don't hate them or think they're stupid.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or VeggieTales
One day, in Feudal Japan…
INUYASHA: So…what do you guys want to do today?
KAGOME: I dunno. What do you want to do?
MIROKU: I dunno. What do you want to do?
SANGO: I dunno. What do you want to do?
SHIPPO: I dunno. What do you want to do?
INUYASHA: I dunno. Kill something?
(Silence)
INUYASHA: I'm really bored.
VOICE FROM NOWHERE: Evil lurks in the city streets!
EVERYONE: WHAAAAAAAH!!!!! (Grab each other)
VOICE: Danger lurks behind every park bench! The world needs a hero! But not just any hero, noooo! A special hero! A superhero!
INUYASHA: What the heck?! I'M the hero in this show! Do I have competition now, or something?
KAGOME: Maybe it's talking about you. Maybe it's the new intro.
VOICE: I—am—that—hero!
INUYASHA: No, I don't think so.
VOICE: They call me—LARRYBOY!!!
SANGO: Huh?
MIROKU: Wha—?
KAGOME: Wait…
INUYASHA: OH, NO, HE DIDN'T!
SHIPPO: (bug-eyed) Larry?!
(Cucumber with toilet plungers at approximate ear height stands in a spotlight)
CUCUMBER: Evil villains, beware! You are no match for Larryboy and his super suction ears!
(Stunned silence)
CUCUMBER: You doubt? A demonstra—
INUYASHA: (holding Tetsusaiga threateningly over cucumber's head) Shut up and answer our questions, little oval green thing!
MIROKU: Well, that statement isn't any less logical than usual, I suppose…
KAGOME: (to cucumber) What are you?
SANGO: I think that's pretty obvious.
KAGOME: Really?
SANGO: Yeah. I've actually been expecting this. Sure, we've had our fill of animal- and human-shaped demons, but we've never confronted a vegetable-shaped one.
INUYASHA: (Turning from threatening the cucumber) What?
SANGO: It was only a matter of time.
INUYASHA: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
MIROKU: Your face is the stupidest thing I've ever seen.
INUYASHA: Your mom is the stupidest thing I've ever seen!
KAGOME: Sit.
(WHAM)
SANGO: Well? Are you a vegetable demon?
SHIPPO: (snapping out of a star-struck stupor) No! He's a VeggieTale! Don't hurt him!
CUCUMBER: You're actually both right. We VeggieTales are vegetable demons.
SHIPPO: Seriously?
CUCUMBER: VeggieTales don't lie.
SHIPPO: Hey, Mr. Larry.
LARRY THE CUCUMBER: Why yes, fox thing?
SHIPPO: Can I have your autograph?
LARRY THE CUCUMBER: Certainly! Except I don't have hands.
SANGO: Ahem.
LARRY THE CUCUMBER: Yes?
SANGO: What do you do? As a vegetable demon, I mean.
LARRY THE CUCUMBER: We preach the word of God.
KAGOME: Which god?
MIROKU: You mean the word of Buddha, right?
LARRY: We VeggieTales do not have to be politically correct.
INUYASHA: God, schmod. What the heck are you doing here, Oval Green Thing?
LARRY: It's Larry. And we've been sent from Sunrise Studios for variety in your show. I believe you were just discussing your boredom.
INUYASHA: I WAS NOT BORED ENOUGH TO HAVE AN OVAL GREEN THING TAKE OVER MY SHOW!!!
(Sesshomaru, Rin & Jaken show up in the distance)
SESSHOMARU: Well, well, well. My brother is confronting a thing that has not yet died. Looks like I get to step in and spew its guts all over the place.
RIN: OH MY GOSH!!! IT'S LARRY!!!
SESSHY: Wait. What?
RIN: (waving frantically) LARRY! OVER HERE!
SHIPPO: HA HA, RIN! I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH FIRST!
SESSHY: Wait. You know this Oval Green Thing?
JAKEN: Pardon me, milord, but there is also a round red thing and two tall cone-shaped-with-a-lumpy-top green things that have shown up recently.
(Indeed, a tomato and two asparaguses are now chattering amiably with Inuyasha & Co.)
INUYASA: GET THE HECK OUT OF MY SHOW, YOU FREAKIN' VEGETABLES!!
RIN: (looking horrified) He just…called VeggieTales…freakin' vegetables…
SESSHY: Then I suppose I'm not allowed to kill them?
JAKEN: Don't be silly. They're vegetables. They're not alive.
SESSHY: Jaken. Try to act less stupid than you actually are.
(Rin is looking at Sesshy with such an expression of horror that she can't speak)
SESSHY: Fine. I won't kill them. Let's go see what they're talking about.
SANGO: (to Bob) Ever tried chauffeuring a monk who's hitting on you, a girl from the future, a half-demon who gets sit-ed into the seat every five seconds and a kitsune who does nothing but annoy everyone—all on the back of a fire-footed cat, three hundred feet in the air?
BOB: That's nothing. This one time, on the way to a Twippo concert…
Meanwhile…JUNIOR: No one understands me because I'm little!
SHIPPO: I understand you! I'm little, too!
JUNIOR: Yay!
SHIPPO: Can I have your autograph?
Meanwhile…KAGOME: I'm telling you, hairspray saved my life one time! There was this frog demon, and—Hey, why are you crying?
LARRY: (sniffling) I'm sorry—hair care products have been a sensitive subject for me, ever since—I lost my hairbrush—
KAGOME: NO!!!
LARRY: I know!
KAGOME: I would die. Really, I would.
Meanwhile…
ARCHIBALD ASPARAGUS: Have you really never seen the show?
MIROKU: I'M A BUDDHIST MONK.
ARCHIBALD: Ah. (to Sesshy) What about you? You look like a fan of VeggieTales!
(Deadly silence)
SESSHY: (icily) Do I.
ARCHIBALD: Ah…
SESSHY: Explain this. Quickly. And if it involves any the-fluffy-is-a-security-blanket cracks, it will be your last explanation. Ever.
ARCHIBALD: W-well…I just assumed…since you have one of our plushies…
EVERYONE: WHAT?!
SESSHY: A thorough explanation. You may die now.
ARCHIBALD: BUT YOU DO! IT'S RIGHT THERE! (Uses his head to point at Jaken)
JAKEN: I'm a toad demon, you fool!
ARCHIBALD: Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a moldy potato demon. Accept my humblest apologies.
SESSHY: Well, if an insult to Jaken is involved, I suppose I'll let you off.
RIN: Um…Mr. Archibald, sir? I-I'm you're biggest fan…I have VeggieTales posters all over my room…I have all your DVDs…Could I have an autograph?
ARCHIBALD: Why, certainly!
RIN: YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!! THANK YOU, ASPARAGUS-SAMA!!!!!!
ARCHIBALD: Except I don't have any hands.
RIN: (face falls) Oh…
SESSHY: You know, Tall Skinny Green Thing, I can still kill you.
ARCHIBALD: I-I mean…I'm sure I'll find some way to sign it without holding a pen!
SESSHY: See that you do. (mutters to self) Why does Rin have posters of the Oval Green Things in her room instead of posters of me?
LARRY: I know! How about a rounding rendition of THE VEGGIETALES SONG!!!
EVERYONE: HOORAY!!!
Except…INUYASHA: That is it. That is absolutely it. YOU CANNOT MAKE ME SING THE VEGGIETALES SONG!!!!(stalks away)
MIROKU: Nor me. (Stalks away in a different direction)
SESSHY: I shall not sing either.
RIN: Stay, Lord Sesshomaru! Watch Rin sing!
SESSHY: But I shall stay.
JAKEN: I'm leaving!
SESSHY: I don't think so, Moldy Potato Demon Plushie. You are singing.
JAKEN: But…
SESSHY: OR YOU WILL MEET THE ASPARAGUS'S THREATENED FATE.
JAKEN: Well, then…(clears throat) How does it go?
BOB: I'll demonstrate!
(Opens mouth)
EMOTIONLESS VOICE FROM NOWHERE: If you like to walk with tomatoes…If a squash can make you smile…
JUNIOR: Wow, Bob. I didn't know you could sing.
BOB: I can't. That wasn't me.
EMOTIONLESS VOICE: If you like to waltz with potatoes…Up and down the produce aisle…mmmmhahahahahahaha…
KAGOME: Emotionless laughter. Creepy.
(Kanna appears)
EVERYONE: KANNA!
SHIPPO: What are you doing here?
KANNA: I come to warn the VeggieTales.
KAGOME: Since when have you cared about anything that has good intentions?
KANNA: Since Kohaku brought Rack, Shack and Benny into his prison cell.
RIN: (awestruck) The Veggies…They do have power…
KANNA: Be warned, O Veggies. Naraku has recruited some of your friends. With them he is unstoppable.
SANGO: Larry! You didn't say there were Shikon Shard veggie demons!
LARRY: There aren't.
KANNA: They have something stronger than Shikon Shards.
LARRY: What's stronger than Shikon Shards?
KANNA: Their accents. (fades away)
JUNIOR: Oh, no.
RIN: What?
BOB: We've got a horrible enemy on our hands.
KAGOME: And Inuyasha's gone.
SANGO: And so is Miroku.
JAKEN: And I still have to sing.
SESSHY: And I still haven't found a Daily Victim.
(All look at each other)
SHIPPO: That's not good.
Mwahahaha...hang ending! Stick around for part 2!
If you think my attempt at humor fell through and it's just stupid, please review. If you think it's fantastic, please review. If I messed up in one of my VeggieTales quotes, please review. I want to know what you think so I can become a better writer!
