Disclaimer: As we all know by now, I do not own Star Trek: Voyager or any of the characters. Unfortunately...

A/N: This is set during and after 'Counterpoint'. To be exact, the first scene takes place when they're on the bridge trying to convince Tarot the scientist to help them. And credit goes to LadyLanera for the title! Now on with the story!


The Inspector was becoming far to comfortable around Kathryn. Kashyk's easy going smirk, the way his eyes trailed after her with an almost predatory gleam just barely hidden behind his self-righteous and nonchalant attitude, how he made sure to stand just within her personal space but without touching her at all... It agitated Chakotay beyond what it probably should. Beyond what it should for a normal XO...

But he wasn't just an XO.

And she was more than his Captain.

It was an unspoken understanding that they held a tight bond, one he wouldn't trade for anything, but whether she acknowledged it or not there was something even deeper buried between them. Under mutual and silent agreement they didn't talk about it or push the boundaries, though sometimes he regretted that discussion. The fact of the matter was that there was something there. There was no denying that. Whether it be classified as heartfelt friendship and trust, which it was, or whether it was acknowledged as something more it was obvious they were more than simple colleagues.

It was for that reason that he couldn't help but feel so protective of her. Because of those buried feelings that Inspector Kashyk's behavior towards Kathryn irked him so much. He understood why this had to be done and he would support his Captain's plan, but no amount of knowledge could keep him from feeling the way he did.

So when the Inspector, in all his arrogant confidence, stepped up behind Kathryn and leaned so close that Chakotay was sure she could feel the Devore's breath against her neck he very nearly lost what control he had. How long had he dreamed of standing where that xenophobic waist of space stood now? How many times had he been tempted to sweep Kathryn's hair out of the way and pay his reverence with kisses up and down her neck when she stood so agonizingly close to him? How often had he barely restrained himself from leaning further into her until his lips grazed her ear...

Too many.

Too many to be considered 'appropriate'. To many for a First Officer. Far too many for a platonic friend. Yet he resisted. He should have been given a dozen commendations just for his self-control.

Now here was Kashyk very nearly doing what he himself hadn't dared to do. A few mere inches separated the two of them. What rankled his nerves even more was realizing that if the brazen man dared to be so...intimate while on the bridge of a starship and while still appearing to be completely professional, than to what lengths would he be willing to go while they were alone? It hadn't happened yet, he knew, but eventually Kathryn would have to speak with him by herself without an audience around. What would that Devore scum do then?

Somehow Chakotay doubted there'd be platonic hugs involved.

No, the signs were all there. The ship itself was practically simmering with the tension flowing around the two of them. How long before Kashyk made a move? And if this really was all one big scheme on the Devore's part than what were the chances he'd hurt Kathryn when it was all said and done? Knowing Kathryn, not very good, not that she'd admit anyways...but the thought of the possibility...

He couldn't stand by and watch.

He couldn't stand to see Kashyk take advantage of her.

He couldn't...

He couldn't handle Kashyk of all people having what he'd wanted for so long.

What could he do though? They had a plan, they had orders, and he couldn't let Kathryn down.

When Kashyk's torso grazed Kathryn's back his hands clinched into fists. When she didn't so much as flinch it made his jaw tick. As he watched her lean, almost imperceptibly, back closer into the Inspector and tilt her head as if opening herself up to him, whether it was his imagination or not didn't matter. He couldn't handle this anymore.

All it took was two long strides and he was behind the dark haired Devore. As if with a mind of it's own his left hand gripped the man's shoulder in an iron clad grip and yanked him backwards. In the same movement he forced the man to turn and face him. For a instant, one glorious instant, Chakotay could see a flash of surprise and possibly even fear in those eyes staring at him. It was gone quickly and replaced with annoyance, agitation, anger...all the things he'd been feeling for awhile now. By the time those so familiar emotions began to appear his right fist was already raised though.

All it took was one punch.

One clean, precise, anger driven punch that was met with a resounding 'crack' as the bones of the man's cheek gave way under the force. Kashyk's bones were easier to break than Chakotay had imagined given the utter confidence and indestructibility the man reeked of. It was a satisfying feeling. The wash of adrenaline, pride, and sheer triumph as his anger was fully released was something he hadn't truly felt, or truly enjoyed, since those early years in the Maquis.

It was cathartic and it was exciting. For a moment, about the time Kashyk stumbled backwards and fell to the ground, he felt better than he had in years. In that instant he could almost live with himself for all the things he'd done...and not done...in his life.

Then it all came crashing down.

When he looked up and saw the expression on Kathryn's face, an expression of anger and broken trust, it nearly ripped what was left of his heart right out of his chest. As if from far away he saw her mouth open as if to rebuke him, but the words that came out weren't fierce or angered. They were her normal completely in control tone that she used on the bridge...

"Commander, you have the con."

He looked up and blinked as reality smacked him in the face like a jump in a cold lake. His neck began to warm in slight embarrassment as he was broken from the daydream, but he was able to keep his casual composure in place. "Aye, Captain." He was thankful when his reply came out perfectly natural. He only hoped she hadn't caught him staring daggers at Kashyk's back moment's before or noticed the slight waver in his voice.

Kathryn wasn't looking at him anyways though. She was already half-way across the bridge with Kashyk and Torat, their newest guest, in tow. In fact she barely seemed to acknowledge his presence at all. "I believe Torat and I have a nice conversation ahead of us." She added while giving the scientist in question a pointed look when he didn't immediately step into her Ready Room.

As the scientist, followed by Kashyk, and lastly Kathryn herself walked over the threshold of her office Chakotay simply watched. He had nothing better to do at the moment anyways considering he wasn't invited to the 'conversation'.

He let out a long breath as the door slid closed behind them. "You know what to do, Tom." He said, already turning and taking his seat.


The deep amber liquid in his glass swirled around, almost resembling a spatial vortex. It was hypnotizing in away. Or maybe he just found it that because he couldn't bare to look across the coffee table at Kathryn who sat so calmly on her sofa. It was their usual configuration for after dinner. Her on the sofa, him in the adjacent armchair that had become so familiar over the years, and a bottle of whatever alcohol he brought sitting on the coffee table.

He'd always been perfectly comfortable with the arrangement, but tonight was different. Tonight he let his thoughts breach the realm of 'no goes' that he always made a point to ignore. Like how their sitting arrangement was so ironic, how it was almost as if they were forcing themselves to stay further away than they would were others around because they knew what could happen should they be alone and get that close.

In the Ready Room, during briefings, on the bridge, in the presence of anyone else they always seemed within arms reach. Sometimes so close their legs or arms grazed one another. In such professional and public scenarios they didn't have to worry about crossing any 'parameters', but here in Kathryn's quarters when they were alone it was a different arena all together. A comfortable one...and a dangerous one.

Tonight, now that Kashyk was finally gone for good, the Devore out of their hair, and Voyager officially out of Devore space he let his mind wonder to such places that he'd purposefully pushed away for his own sanity's sake. As if the last few days hadn't been torture enough it seemed he now took it further by punishing himself as well.

Punishing himself for what? For his own stupidity? For his own emotional weakness? For his own inability to act and reach for what he wanted while Kashyk so easily did so in his place? Tonight that's all he could dwell on.

Even the sound of Kathryn's voice as she told a story of her Academy days, which always kept him captivated and left him with a satisfied feeling knowing she'd open up to him in such a way, couldn't draw him out of his brooding mood. He tried not to let it show, for both their sakes, but he wasn't sure how well he was doing with that.

"Chakotay?"

Apparently he'd been hiding his mood even worse than he thought.

"What has you so distracted tonight?" Kathryn continued, curiosity lacing her voice.

For what could very well have been the first time that night he made an effort to actually meet her eyes. It didn't last. As soon as he saw the suspicious tint to her eyes and her furrowed brows his gaze averted back downwards. This time he found the PADD laying on the edge of coffee table utterly fascinating.

"Nothing all that important." It was a lie. To him at least the topic of his thoughts was one of the single most important things in his life.

"Really..."

He nearly cursed under his breath. He should have known she wouldn't give in so easily to that kind of answer. "Nothing worth mentioning tonight." He explained further, and flashed a half-smile her way. It was a valiant effort on his part he thought.

"Since when are we in a the habit of lying to each other?"

He nearly asked her the same thing. Except she hadn't lied to him. She filled him in on everything that happened between her and Kashyk every step of the way. At least almost everything. In a few instance he felt as if she had grazed over the details, but hadn't pushed it. She may be the Captain, but she had a right to some privacy at least.

"It's nothing, Kathryn, really." He insisted, his smile widening in an attempt to convince her. "What were you saying about Admiral Patterson?"

Kathryn arched an eyebrow and slowly swirled her drink, similar to how he had been doing early, except her gaze stayed locked firmly on him. "I finished that story ten minutes ago."

Chakotay cleared his throat out of habit. "Oh." Taking a sip of his brandy he actually relished the burning sensation that seemed to awaken his senses. "I'm sorry, Captain. I must be more tired than I thought. I'm obviously not be very good company tonight." He added with a chuckle in an attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"Captain?" She asked. "What happened to ranks staying at the door?"

Chakotay sighed and leaned forward so his elbows rested on his thighs. "Sorry, Kathryn. It's just been a long week." It was the truth, more so than she could realize, and the closest thing to the truth he'd said so far.

"I think we already covered the fact that you're sorry." She quipped, a small smirk twisting at the corner of his lips.

Any other time he would have found that mannerism amusing. It seemed nothing could lighten his spirits tonight. Not even the one person who usually never failed to give him peace.

What had Kashyk done to him?

He sat his glass on the table and rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. He had every intention of making a excuse of being exhausted and fleeing her quarters, but before the words could even form he felt a gentle hand come to rest on his shoulder. It was a touch he'd come to treasure and one he would always recognize as solely 'Kathryn'.

Looking up his eyes instantly latched onto hers as she took a seat on the edge of the coffee table and this time he couldn't pull away. The hand on his shoulder slid away, much to his disappointment, but when she then covered his hand with her own he could have sworn his heart nearly leapt out of his chest.

He was such a fool.

"Chakotay, what's wrong?"

For a moment, a brief instinctive moment before his common sense could kick in, he nearly let the words spill out. He wasn't that much of a glutton for pain though. "Kathryn, really, I'm fine."

He smiled lightly to ease her concern and hopefully convince her to let it go, but as she continued to sit in silence watching him he knew it was no use. She'd caught a scent and wasn't about to let it escape her now. Sometimes he wished she wasn't so damn stubborn. If he didn't love her so much it might annoy him.

The mere thought of 'love' caused both anger and an overwhelming hopelessness to wash over him to the point it nearly consumed him. Mentally cursing himself he tore his eyes away from her, his jaw clenching uncontrollably.

"It's about Kashyk..." Came Kathryn's tightly controlled voice, successfully gaining his attention. "And your...dislike of him."

He hadn't expected her to be quite so blunt. It actually threw him off for a second and his eyes flickered back to meet her knowing gaze. "He's not a very likeable person." He stated dryly. He was not going to even begin to think about whether she had liked him or not. He was almost afraid of what answer he might get.

The corner of Kathryn's lips twitched slightly as if she were restraining a smile. "He had his moments."

That was all Chakotay could take. He stood abruptly, causing Kathryn's hand which had still been covering his to fall away, and took a few steps away from her. The images of Kathryn and Kashyk, the ones that had been haunting him for days now, flashed through his mind's eye causing his fist to flex at his side.

"I'm kidding, Chakotay." Kathryn soothed with a tone mixed with amusement. "But obviously we've found what's bothering you."

He could feel her stepping up behind him, her calming aurora trying to get past his defenses even while he knew she was as tense as he was. Gathering his nerve and reining in his anger he slowly turned around to face her, the air in the suddenly small quarters beginning to simmer with each beat of his heart.

"I didn't think it'd be that hard to tell." His tone was clipped, more so than he meant, and he noticed her tense just that much more and lift her chin in the way that said he was starting to walk a thin line.

"It wasn't," she stated, studying him closely as if expecting him to explode any moment. "I was half-expecting you to drag him to the brig a few times." She was putting it lightly and they both knew it. "Why do you think I kept the two of you away from each other."

At that his head snapped up. He was half surprised he didn't have whiplash from it. He hadn't considered the possibility that she'd purposefully kept them out of strangling distance. Was he really that obvious about his dislike of the man...

When it came to Kathryn, it was very possible...if not probable.

"We needed him alive." A light smirk slowly made it's way onto her face. "If I hadn't gotten him off the bridge after 'detaining' Torat I figured we'd have a less than favorable situation on our hands.

'Not on our hands...under them', Chakotay thought as an image of Kashyk's neck between his hands flashed through his thoughts. "You might be right." He answered with a small half-smile of his own.

"Admittedly..." She began, turning and picking up both of their drinks and handing him one. "I was surprised he affected you so much. Considering all the other little problems we've run into over the years."

She was waiting now to see what his response would be. It almost felt as if she were giving him an opening. A way to spill his inner most thoughts and explain in detail just why Kashyk had bothered him so much. The ball was metaphorically in his court. And suddenly the weight of that ball almost seemed too much to handle.

The entire future of their dynamic could rest on how he proceeded.

Without thought, before he could talk himself out of it, he wrapped a hand around the back of her neck to cup her head and pulled her closer all the while leaning down to meet her half-way. When their lips met for the first time he felt his heart pound against his ribcage, his nerve endings exploding with more sensations than he could have imagined, his very skin prickling in anticipation...

It was perfect.

It was them.

"Chakotay..."

For the second time Kathryn's voice broke him from out of his stupor, forcing him back into the present and the reality that came with it. In this reality he still had a choice to make and she was still waiting. The question was….Should he be the truthful man in love or the good First Officer who played by the book.

He suddenly wished he could just live in his own private reality for the rest of time.