AN: Random pairing generators are evil aren't they? I couldn't help but do it though! I'm not a fan of the Ginny character or her pairing with Harry so it'll be a challenge! I don't know why but it went a bit sad and happy at the same time so enjoy!


Release Me

"I could sleep by myself,
you would burn me alive,
Find me somebody else,
But I don't want to,
Try to leave out the love,
That goes against the grain,
But I can rationalize it,
If I have to."


-O-

In all the daring things that Ginny had done in her seventeen years on the Earth, sleeping with her former teacher and ally was soon to be another one to top the last. She did not love him or regard him as anything more then an older friend or a mentor to stop You-Know-Who, who was now dead, but she had another man in her head. Ginny wanted to forget her love, her longing, her almost obsession with the Boy With The Sexy Scar and perhaps jumping into bed with another man might cure or curse her. She had done worse and worse had happened to her. Plus Lupin was not bad on the eyes and the fact he was just as desperate and lonely as him but for different reasons to her own. He had someone who loved him as much as Ginny loved Harry but Lupin craved another, a certain dead friend of his. Ginny felt pain as she thought about the pain Lupin must be suffering and the pain she felt too as she missed the man. She was not that cold.

Ginny had spent the past six months hinting and flirting with disaster. Lupin did not want to know but he could not help but meet her eyes in agreement when everyone celebrated her birthday. It made the day slightly better as the day before Harry had cut her off and told her that even if things went back to the normal, he no longer felt love for her. That almost killed Ginny and even though the tears glistened on both their cheeks, Ginny felt separated to her, officially, ex boyfriend. She tried to ignore Hermione's advice that once Harry's mind had cleared after the battle that killed many friends, he would remember he loved her. Thankfully Ron had no comment as he was in an awkward position of the fact Harry had not taken her for a ride but he had broken his little sister's heart and Ginny wordlessly shook her head at him. She would move on, somehow.

Lupin was handsome, older and had no ties. He was also lucky to survived the battle, along with Fred, with substantial injuries but Healers that knew what they were doing were quick to save their limbs and lives. Tonks' had suffered from not getting the happy ending she wished for but accepted it and still managing to Metamorph through her pain and the lingering, longing looks whenever she set her sights on the man. As the weeks and months went on she had managed to find someone else, love someone else and no longer regarded Lupin as anything but a friend. Ginny cringed at that, she was obviously made of stronger stuff.

Ginny was not stupid though, she had thought this affair over and was quite pleased with it. There was going to be a party that would last well into the night which gave her plenty of time to watch everyone get drunk then disappear or flop down somewhere to sleep. She knew of a drawing room that nobody went into due to it being cold and unpleasant. But it had a bed and Lupin could warm her up so she did not care, too much. Ginny knew it was going to happen, the electricity that fizzled between them as they brushed past him, the hinting conversations that went on between them and the gaze that always lingered on her. For once in his long, sensible, semi law abiding life, Lupin was going to be the Sirius and be daring which Ginny could not wait to see. And feel.

The night of the party she had managed to smile and even laugh, hard, for the first time in months with Harry. It hurt her knowing that she could only laugh and smile with Harry and never feel his heavy body on top of hers or his deepening breath in her ear. Shaking the images away she looked at Lupin who was trying hard not to look at Tonks' and her new suitor, who was admiring her bright pink hair with delight. He was glad she had moved on but sad that it was him who caused her pain. At that word their eyes met and Ginny felt on fire.

"Looking a bit hot Gin, you better hide this from Mum!" Bill had come clattering out of nowhere with a swaying Fleur, who had been on the Firewhisky herself. "The best Firewhisky there is!"

As Fleur stumbled from Bill to Lupin, who caught her with a laugh, Ginny saw nothing in his expression but mirth and knew Lupin was only after one woman. Pleased, she found herself speaking to her oldest brother while they carried on drinking and he put his arm around her. Sinking into the embrace, Ginny was glad of the comfort because she was beginning to feel nervous about what she was going to do and knowing that if any of her brother's found out...

"You're going to do something stupid." It was not a question but a statement.

"Maybe." Ginny was surprised how steady her voice was.

Bill sighed to himself, with a smile to his wife who was now singing with Tonks' in the corner while Lupin talked inanimately to Mad Eye, he turned and gave his full attention to his little sister who refused to meet his gaze. Ginny bristled, it was reminiscent to Dad who was more shrewd then Mum.

"Gin, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I, just..." Ginny trailed away.

Bill knew that his argument would be lost and that she was not going to share so he grabbed her and gave her a loving hug that only a brother could give. Biting back revealing what she was thinking, she instead said to herself, tonight is going to happen. There were longer arms joining them and she heard Bill laughing loud. Fred and George had joined the hug, then Charlie, then Percy without thought, and then Ron, with another laugh. In the middle of a Weasley hug, Ginny felt accepted without question. They all broke apart shortly after. But Bill stayed by her side the whole night.

The party was starting to die down and Ginny was beginning to feel the fire again. Only Tonks, her partner, Mad Eye, Harry, Dad, Bill, Fred and George and Lupin were left swaying. Giving Lupin a pointed look she stood up, making her sleeping Dad jolt awake.

"I'm going to bed, before I get a hangover." She joked.

"Oh good, I'll come up with you, I think I'm getting to the point of no return." He joked sleepily.

Dad jumped up and they left to bleary goodbyes and they left together. Reaching the room he shared with Mum, Dad left giving her a big hug and Ginny doubled back. Going through the drawing room, she entered the room to wait for Lupin. Luckily she was able to tidy the room up a bit and it was clean but still cold. She sat at the edge of the bed and looked at her watch.

Right enough in just half an hour a slightly harassed Lupin came in and looked angry at himself for coming her, angry at her for being here. Just as he was about to make up some noble excuse for turning her down, she got up and kissed his lips until all protests were silenced and her body was warm against hers. They broke away to break and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Remus," She whispered convincing him and herself, "I'm of age, this is what I want, this is what you want."

"I do want this but have you...?" He left the question awkwardly standing.

Luck had it she had done before and that nothing could stop their joining of bodies.

"I have." Was her own simple answer.

Something inside Lupin seemed to break at her answer. Steering her backwards, her legs hit the bed and she lay down on the bed. As though he was about to ask something, what she'll never know as she grabbed Lupin by the shirt and dragged him down with her. Heat on heat, body on body, hands grabbing where they can reach, a hand on her breast making her gasp and finally the tongue in her mouth. The only time he got off her was to strip him and her of their offending clothes. Not caring about being naked in front of her former professor, she rolled them over until she was on top and grasped his hard penis. Arching up towards her, she grinned almost evilly and leaned back then whispered the protection spell, lube spell and Muffalo. Then raised above him waiting for him to bed as he desperately gripped her hips. Closing her eyes she positioned herself.

Then slammed down surprising herself and Lupin, who growled like the beast within was unleashed. Riding him, she saw stars and forgot The Boy Who Was Bad In Bed, forgot about Lupin's long lost love, forgot about Bill's worry and just forgot everything. She was on her way to heaven. Dragging her over onto her back and ploughing into her was the only encouragement Ginny needed as she screamed (luckily she cast the spell) while Lupin held the side of her face between his fingers. He never broke eye contact and then he was constricting and Ginny was, too. Ginny felt a different fire, a fire that went through her entire story. They collapsed in a heap together, all arms, her truly spent with a happy afterglow, him truly spent too but full of guilt.

Not wanting to hear it, Ginny nudged away from him and slowly began to locate her clothes, still wanting to stay in the afterglow. She ignored Lupin's touch on her arm, she had got what she came for and it had not changed anything but she got some enjoyment out of it from someone familiar, someone not, not like...

Unexpected tears sprung to her eyes and she deliberately moved herself out of sight pretending to be looking for something. Ginny knew he would hate and blame himself if he saw her crying and she needed to be strong. Nobody, and she meant nobody, got to see her vulnerable. Blinking hard and at breaking point she felt arms around her, once again, nothing but comfort. Thinking of Bill she almost burst out crying. That was only a few hours ago. The start of the night she and Hermione had got ready together. Then she thought of telling her and it was too much to bare.

"You're going to do something stupid." Echoed teasingly in her mind.

Well Bill, she thought to herself as she disentangled herself from Lupin, she did.

Lupin was forcing her eye contact and she ignored his eyes instead searching for her top. The thrill of being naked in front of your professor was no longer there and she just wanted to cry now. It was almost as though something private had been shattered though she had enjoyed it, a lot. She did not regret it but she regretted what she would do to Lupin. Breathing hard, she made a decision, she had to fool Lupin.

Looking up at him, she smiled at him, realising how tall he suddenly was. Pulling him towards her they kissed for one last time knowing that tomorrow they would be nothing but friends and whoever she married she would tell the tale of them. Lupin knew this too and stroked her cheek. He knew how she felt while his lover was dead, hers was not interested, both broken hearted looking for some comfort.

Reaching for a hug, she felt safe and secure knowing that their night of lonely passion would not taint their friendship.

And maybe that is what she had been searching for.


The end.