So I was in a very fluffy mood and feeling the festive spirit, so I decided to write this little cavity-inducing fic. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Take a wild guess at what I don't own.
"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer!" Sirius sang in an out-of-tune manner, as James sat looking incredulously at the pair of antlers which had fallen out of his Christmas cracker. The three marauders who were not currently bemoaning their insanely appropriate new festive headgear stifled unmanly giggles as Lily Evans rolled her eyes at them from where she was seated next to Dumbledore wearing a rather fetching hovering halo. As James slipped on the antlers, Sirius, Remus and Peter fell about laughing as he poked at them, no doubt comparing them to his superior antlers of the week before.
"Alright you little shits," James shot, "Your turn. Let's see what you get".
Sirius dutifully held out the red cracker from his place setting to James, who grasped it and pulled. With golden sparks and the sound of a lion's roar, the cracker disappeared to reveal a splendid golden crown. James shot Sirius the evil eye and flicked his own antlers in disgust.
"Well seeing as these hats appear to reflect the individual, I think this one will do nicely," Sirius announced with a rakish grin, sitting his regal hat askew on his soft black curls. "Your turn Peter".
The small blond boy held out his cracker to James as well and tugged, revealing a motley jester's hat in a puff of glitter. James pouted, lamenting his unfortunate luck. Sirius was pretty sure that James was regretting not picking one of the other crackers. The jester's hat would have suited him, considering that he was the biggest prankster in the school… Sirius's thoughts were interrupted by a light tap on the shoulder from the grinning boy seated next to him.
"My turn I think," Remus smirked, holding out a purple cracker to his friend. Sirius took the other end and tugged sharply, revealing something silver in amongst a puff of purple smoke. Sirius realised what it was as soon as Remus picked it up. With a laugh, the tawny-haired boy showed his decidedly feminine circlet to Sirius, and then gestured to the other boy's symbol of sovereignty.
"I guess this makes me your queen then," he said dropping a wink and donning his tiara. Sirius couldn't help but think it looked especially dashing, as a strange warm feeling filled his chest. There was a sudden swell of laughter as the rest of the table laughed at the duo – James was laughing especially raucously, glad to no longer be the sole subject of ridicule at the table. Even Lily couldn't hold back her giggles as Sirius swept grandly up from his chair, then sank to one knee.
"M'lady!" he cried whilst grabbing Remus's hand and planting a kiss on it. The other boy just laughed at his antics and pretended to swoon, while Sirius felt the warm feeling swoosh back with a vengeance. He took his seat again and the conversation resumed. Sirius caught the eye of the headmaster who gave him a knowing smile and winked. That was bizarre. Slightly nonplussed, Sirius turned to James.
"How's your Christmas been so far mate? I've barely spoken to you at all today!" This was odd, as the pair were usually inseparable. Perhaps it meant that James was plotting something that he wanted to be a surprise to Sirius. He attempted to focus on James's answer instead of the contagious laughter coming from the boy next to him.
"Well, Padfoot old chap, I have a plan". Sirius mentally rolled his eyes, knowing that the plan would somehow involve wooing a certain redhead. James simply refused to let up – he said that this year was going to be the year that she said yes to him. Sirius had just refused to take part in win-over-Evans plots, which must be why James had been off on his own that day. "See that mistletoe over there?" James pointed towards the entrance to the hall in a way he thought was very surreptitious, but in fact was noticed by Lily who looked and shot him a dirty look to which he was oblivious. "I've enchanted it". Suddenly Sirius's interest was piqued – James's spellwork was always quite impressive.
"I managed to charm it so that any two people who pass underneath it will get trapped in this force-field thingy, and the only way to escape is a kiss. It can't just be a peck either, it's got to be a full-on snog". James looked very self-satisfied, and Sirius had to give him kudos for pulling it off.
"So you've just got to make sure that you and Evans pass through the doorway at the same time? I dunno mate, she might be too clever for you". James shook his head at his friend as though he knew something Sirius didn't, still with the same self-satisfied grin.
"Have a little faith mate, this one's foolproof!" Sirius just rolled his eyes.
The food arrived soon after, and all conversation immediately stopped as everyone stared in wonder at the veritable feast laid out before them. Sirius adored Christmas at Hogwarts – not just for familial reasons, but also for the food. The house-elves had really outdone themselves this year. There was an excellent spread of everything turkey, and even the brussel sprouts looked appetising! The congregation ate until they were as stuffed as the centrepiece. The real treat was just coming however. Everyone was looking forwards to the puddings.
As Sirius watched, the remainder of the savoury food sank into the plates and was replaced by Yule logs and creamy desserts. As the plates filled, Sirius heard a decidedly unholy moan coming from his right hand side. Turning, he saw Remus staring with delight at a particularly rich chocolate cake which had materialised before him. Remus glanced at Sirius with delight before proceeding to help himself to a very generous portion of cake. Sirius, unfortunately, was incredibly full after his main course, and was feeling particularly stupid for being tempted by all the treats of the course before. He didn't feel as though he'd be able to manage much in the way of pudding. A crying shame really. Suddenly, however, the thought of chocolate cake began to appeal to him immensely, and so, to save himself from death by cake, he decided to steal a little from Remus's plate. No sooner than he'd done that, Remus twisted around in his chair in mock anger.
"I can't believe you, Sirius Black. Get your own damn chocolate cake! The cheek of it, stealing off a poor innocent-" Sirius cut him off with a raised finger. Remus lifted an eyebrow.
"You've got a little something-" Sirius murmured gently, cupping his hand under the other boy's chin and rubbing his thumb at the corner of his mouth. "There". He let his hand linger just a little too long before pulling it away and flushing red. "Couldn't let m'lady go around in a condition that's unbefitting of her status," he joked, flashing another rakish grin to cover up his embarrassment.
With laughing eyes, Remus took hold of one of Sirius's hands in both of his and sighed in a rather overdramatic fashion. "My lord is good to save me from the perils of the chocolate smudge," he simpered in a faux-flirtatious manner. He winked at Sirius again before returning to his pudding. Sirius watched him as he lifted another forkful of cake to his mouth and heard him make a little noise of contentment as it passed his lips. Sirius shook his head suddenly, snapping himself out of his reverie.
All too soon, the meal was over and the marauders started to head back to the Gryffindor tower. High on good food, Sirius and Remus were in great spirits, leaning on each other and joking. All of a sudden, Remus turned to Sirius with a mischievous smile and grabbed Sirius's hand, coming to a standstill. With a trademark marauder twinkle in his eye, he turned to face the taller, black-haired boy.
"Bet you can't beat me to the tower," he taunted, flashing his white teeth at Sirius in a manner than suggested a challenge. Sirius decided to take the taunt personally, and so, dropping his friend's hand, he started to sprint towards the doorway, with Remus in hot pursuit.
He was almost out of the hall and into the corridor, when, he smacked into something which bounced him back a little into Remus who'd been right on his heels. The two boys grabbed each other to steady themselves and Remus reached out a tentative hand to the invisible barrier. Sure enough, it met with resistance. "The hell?" Remus enquired, cocking an eyebrow a Sirius expectantly. Realisation dawned on the other boy's face.
"Shit, bugger shit, fuck. Shit". Sirius announced grabbing Remus by the shoulders. "This is Prongs's charmed mistletoe," he said pointing up to the door frame above them. Sure enough, hanging there looking innocent was the innocuous little plant that had them trapped. Remus's eyes widened in surprise. He suddenly burst out laughing.
"Oh! This is precious!" he sputtered through explosive laughter. "Caught in one of our own pranks!" Sirius looked at him, mildly alarmed.
"It's just James's prank," he replied, frowning at his friend's bizarre behaviour.
Gasping for breath, Remus responded: "Same difference! It's still kind of hilarious!" Standing there with his blood pounding and his heart racing and chest tightening, Sirius would probably have argued, except for the fact that his voice was catching in his throat, so all he could do was shrug feebly. "Well, we have an audience, so what say we put on a scene? Feeling up to some improv?" Remus's eyes were shining with mirth as he grabbed Sirius's hands in his. Feeling helpless to do anything but go along with it, Sirius ignored the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach and immediately switched into character.
"M'lady, it appears that we've been caught in a compromising situation," he said in an earnest voice, earning a few titters from the group who were blocked from exiting by their display.
"However can we escape without sacrificing our virtue my lord?" Remus cried in a melodramatic tone, dropping Sirius's hands and turning away to press the back of his wrist against his forehead. Catching Remus about the waist and turning him back to face him, Sirius pulled the smaller boy close and responded.
"I'm afraid it's too late for that my dear, all we can hope for is escaping this accursed trap and allowing these peasants to return to their humble homes," drawing Remus even closer, Sirius suddenly found himself almost nose to nose with him.
Faces parallel, Sirius studied the other boy's expression. After all the joking and jesting of the evening so far, Remus's current expression was a far cry to what it had been even only seconds ago. He was looking quite serious and almost longing. His face was flushed and his lips were parted in anticipation of what was to come. Sirius imagined he looked pretty much the same. Steeling his resolve, Sirius finally came to the realisation that what he was about to do was something he'd been wanting for a very long time and had just never admitted it to himself. Remus's face in that moment had confirmed in his mind that he wanted this just as much as Sirius did, and so, with more confidence than he felt, Sirius closed the last little gap between them and met Remus's lips with his own.
At first it was tentative, as the two got used to the feel of each other, but after a few seconds, Sirius adopted a fuck it mentality and dipped Remus, kissing him harder. Remus very quickly adapted to this approach and kissed backed just as fervently, nipping Sirius's lower lip before pulling back a little and smiling against Sirius's mouth, making the same little contented noise from earlier. Sirius resolved that his new life's goal was to continue causing Remus to make that little noise as much as possible as he smiled back. Noses bumped as they resumed getting to know each other a little bit better.
The smitten pair only stopped when they heard a round of applause from inside the hall. They'd forgotten about their audience, so when they were so rudely reminded of said audience's existence, it came as a bit of a shock. Sirius turned to face the onlookers, only to see a smiling gaggle of Hogwarts residents who seemed completely unphased by the blockage to their doorway. From over to their left, James started making gagging noises. Sirius turned to shoot him the evil eyes, completely missing the little smile from Dumbledore and the third year girl slipping a galleon into her friend's hand with a sour expression on her face.
"I think this is our time to make a grand exit," hissed Remus into his ear, the soft puff of warm breath causing Sirius to have a heart palpitation. Remus slipped his hand into Sirius's and pulled him into a deep bow. After their bow, they took one look at each other and fled the scene, laughing the whole way.
Back in the great hall, James was chuckling away to himself with his hands in his pockets, staring after his escaped friends. James's plans always worked, and today was no exception. Beginning to saunter towards the exit, James found himself caught by the arm. He turned around and found himself face to face with Lily. She had a sappy expression on her face and was unsuccessfully trying to hold back tears. She dropped her hand from him and ran a hand through her hair, parroting James's usual nervous tick. She opened her mouth a few times before she finally spoke.
"That was a very selfless thing to do James Potter, and I'm… p… proud of you," she said, sniffing and before James could respond, she landed a damp kiss on his cheek and hurried off. James stared after her incredulously, before breaking into a huge grin. This was so much better than any unemotional mistletoe kiss. She actually, willingly kissed him! This was shaping up to go down as the best Christmas ever. He was so happy, he didn't bother to check behind him as he walked through the doorway.
James Potter smacked into an invisible barrier just before he could pass through. A sinking sensation filled his belly as he slowly turned around to see…
Oh shit…
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