I believe in birthdays. I believe in celebrating them, in letting people know what they mean to you, and making sure they understand how grateful you are that they are in your life. Birthdays are the perfect day to do that. Two of the most incredible people I've ever been blessed to know have birthdays coming up this week. They are completely different people, yet both have made my life so much richer, and fuller, and brighter. So this is for them. To Kes, my grounding force and voice of reason, and to Jo, who keeps me smiling and makes me laugh. You both are constant support for a weary soul, and you will never know just how much you mean to me, because those words haven't been invented yet. Love you ladies.

The Birthday

Gibbs was working in the basement when he heard the front door close. He recognized the footfall that followed and felt confused, but didn't stop working on his current project. He shouldn't have been too surprised, but he was. Tony had been avoiding everyone's attempts to take him out for his birthday all week, and he had dodged those attempts even harder all day long. He hadn't really been irritable about it, making it sound like he had other plans instead, but Gibbs knew Tony well, and he could call his bluffs a mile away. There were no plans tonight, and certainly no plans tomorrow on his actual birthday.

He glanced up as he saw Tony come down the stairs, and suppressed the smile threatening to betray him. Tony was in casual clothes, just jeans, t-shirt and sweatshirt. Another thing he knew about Tony that most people didn't was that Tony preferred that ensemble more than his suits.

Thing was, he did too.

He'd been attracted to Tony from that first tackle in Baltimore, and it had confused him. It confused him even more when he found out Tony was engaged. He'd thought maybe Tony was gay and attracted to him by the way they interacted, and he'd hoped that was what he'd been responding to. The engagement nixed that idea.

He had never been attracted a guy before, and he hadn't since. It was just Tony. He had thirteen years of fantasies under his belt to back him up on that. From work related, to the casual encounter, to random declarations of undying love, he'd had them all, but only about the man in front of him. Physical attraction wasn't all he felt, though. His feelings had grown into something much more powerful, and he had been wondering more and more if anyone would feel more real to him than the younger man.

Gibbs watched as Tony smiled at him, trying to control that weird thing that happened in his stomach still even after all those years of smiles like that, and set his tools down.

"Hey, Boss!" Tony said cheerfully.

"Hey!" he responded, realizing he sounded too happy to see him despite himself. "Thought you had plans tonight."

"My plans are to hide from my birthday. It usually strolls in around midnight this time each year, and I'm hoping if I'm not home, it won't find me." Tony raised an eyebrow conspiratorially.

"Can't hide from that," Gibbs said with a smirk.

"Okay, so maybe my plans are to hide from everyone's attempts to take me out partying for my birthday."

"So you come over here?"

"Well, yeah. The most people I've ever witnessed in your basement at the same time was three- you, me, and Fornell. Considering that's the maximum occupancy of my evening, I figured this is safe territory."

There was something in the way Tony's eyes scanned the room, and the tone of his voice, that gave the last few words a double meaning. Gibbs swallowed hard. He'd always tried to be a safety zone for Tony, but he knew that it wasn't always possible when most of the things that hurt Tony were locked in his own head.

"You know that Abby will eventually come over to ask me if I've seen you," he said.

"Damn. And I can't even lock her out, because-"

"There's no lock on the door," they said simultaneously.

"Why don't you want to go out, Tony?" Gibbs asked, getting down to the point.

Tony picked up a clamp on Gibbs' workbench, and then turned around to lean against it, fiddling with the contraption a moment as he thought. "I turn forty-five tomorrow, Gibbs. Getting a little too old to party like I'm in my twenties, and honestly, I just don't enjoy it anymore. I guess things are different now."

"Hard to enjoy meaningless encounters once you've had the real thing," Gibbs said quietly. Tony's eyes came up to meet his, and the sad smile was all the confirmation he needed. "Guess you know my predicament now." He wasn't sure where that came from, and he had to school his own expression from the panic he felt welling up inside of him. It was pretty obvious to anyone who knew him well that his past wives were attempts to replace the real thing. He didn't do casual well at all, yet here he was trying to comfort Mr. Casual himself.

Tony's voice broke his drifting thoughts. "Yeah, I do, at least partially. You were loved in return." Tony sighed heavily and turned back to the work bench, grabbing the closest jar of screws and dumping them out. Gibbs cringed. That went downhill fast, he thought.

"Maybe you should just get away for the weekend, Tony," Gibbs tried half-heartedly. He would prefer if the peppy Tony that showed up a few minutes ago was back, but if he was going to be a drunk and miserable basketcase, he'd rather that he be a drunk and miserable basketcase somewhere he could keep an eye on him.

"Not sure I know how to get away to be alone, Boss," he replied, knocking back his jar in one drink.

"You've gotta have something you like to do alone," Gibbs asked, coming around the makeshift work table to lean against the work bench next to Tony.

"Usually, I watch movies. Big surprise! I know!" Tony joked, and Gibbs laughed, glad to see Tony coming back around. "Or play for a while, but she really needs tuned, and I've had to cancel the past two appointments for cases. Not to mention, now that my apartment has had everyone and their brother traipse through it, it's not as off limits as it once was. Abby and Tim have both randomly stopped by on occasions for something, and I can see Abby stopping by to see if I was blowing her off or not."

"It was pretty obvious you were," Gibbs said with a shrug.

"Gee, thanks!" Tony said, laughing.

Gibbs smiled. The laughter rang through him, lighting him from the inside out. He wasn't sure what came over him, but he decided to speak before he could second guess himself.

"I'm planning on leaving tomorrow morning early to go out to the cabin and work on it a bit since we're off. You can join me if you want to get away that badly. Won't be heading home until late Sunday sometime."

Tony's squinting eyes met his and his mouth opened to say something, but he was interrupted by his cell phone ringing. He groaned and reached into his hoodie pocket for it. "It's Abby," he said, casting dagger eyes at the phone and then up at Gibbs. "What time were you thinking about leaving tomorrow?" he asked as the phone finally stopped buzzing.

Gibbs chuckled. "About 0600. It's almost an hour drive out there, so we should be getting the first light about time we get there."

Gibbs' phone started ringing on the work table, and he sighed. He knew it would be Abby, and sure enough it was. He held the phone up to Tony so he could see, then answered it.

"Hey, Abs… No, thought he said he had plans earlier... Hell if I know. Everything okay? Okay, well maybe he doesn't have reception where he's at... I don't know, Abs. If he wants to be found, I guess he'll be found... It doesn't apply right now, Abs, we're off for the weekend… No, I will not call him for you. Maybe he's on a date or something. If someone tried to call someone you were on a date with and they answered, wouldn't you think it's rude? Okay then. Have a good night. I'm going to be unreachable the rest of the weekend. Try not to panic."

He hung up his phone and tossed it on the table in frustration. When he turned around, shaking his head, Tony burst out laughing.

"Looks like we may need to leave tonight," Gibbs said with a chuff.

"Has she been to my apartment yet?" Tony asked.

"Yeah. She's said you weren't answering your door, and your car was gone. I don't know about you, but I generally think someone's not home when their car isn't there."

Tony chuckled. "Okay. I'm in. What should I bring?"

Gibbs blinked, surprised that Tony was really going to spend the weekend away from civilization with him. Not really with me, he chastised himself mentally. Just away, and it happens to be with me.

"I've got an extra cot we can bring, but you may wanna bring pillows and a sleeping bag. Gets kinda cold up there this time of year if the fire goes out in the night. Warm clothes you don't mind getting dirty. At least the floor is finished now, so you shouldn't have to worry about splinters." He smirked, thinking about Tony's comment the first time he saw the cabin.

"Warm socks, got it." Tony headed for the steps with a bounce, apparently eager to sneak out and pack.

"Just remember, there's no electric, so when the battery on your fancy phone dies, it's dead."

Tony back tracked a couple of steps and leaned over the railing. "Oh! You know what? I bought a book back in April I've been meaning to read. I could do that!"

Gibbs chuckled, and shook his head.

"You coming back this way, or are you going to park your car somewhere Abby won't find?"

"There's no such thing as a place Abby won't find. I can leave it at the Yard though, really throw her off."

"Okay. I'll see you there in an hour or so." Gibbs was already shuffling through the closet under the stairs for the extra cot he kept there for fishing trips. As soon as the front door shut, he leaned back, wondering what in the hell he was doing.

He felt like he had a little angel and little devil on his shoulders, pushing and pulling him in two different directions. The devil was telling him to take Tony up to the cabin and seduce him, while the angel was telling him that was one fantasy best left untouched. If Tony reacted negatively, they would be stranded in an hour long car ride home together. All of the possible negative reactions that Tony could have flooded his thoughts as he took the cot upstairs and put it by the door, and they continued as he grabbed a shower and gathered his stuff.

He was looking around his room, wondering what else he should pack in his duffel when he looked at the nightstand. Visions of Tony bent over on his small bed at the cabin flooded his mind, and he found his breathing growing shallow. That devilish voice inside of his head whispered to bring it, even if just to jack off alone in the woods.

He slid open the drawer and pulled out the bottle of lube he kept there. He scooped up a strip of condoms as well before he could give it any serious thought, and tucked them both deep down into his bag. He zipped it, threw it over his shoulder, and stopped before he turned off the light.

He still needed to run to the store for rations to take with them, and he was down to thirty minutes until he said he'd be at the Yard. He was aching though, his many fantasies of taking Tony to the cabin bombarding him and doing their best to persuade him to act on them. He knew that if he didn't alleviate some of the tension, it was going to be unbearable.

He growled as he threw the duffel bag back down on the bed, and then took a handful of Kleenex from the box on the nightstand. Leaning back against the headboard, his left leg still hanging off the side of the bed, he unbuckled his belt and jeans, reaching in to free his straining erection. He closed his eyes, thinking about what it would feel like to have Tony's naked body up against his as he took him, how warm and firm it would be. He imagined what it would be like to hear Tony's cries of pleasures, and smell his shampoo as his face was buried in his hair.

The quick and explosive orgasm surprised him, and when it was over he felt an overwhelming sense of relief and surge of energy. He threw his Kleenex away after cleaning up, and then re-buckled his pants, stopping in the bathroom to wash his hands.

With the duffel over his shoulder, he bounded down the stairs, scooping up the cot and turning out the lights. He went to open the door, and found Abby coming up the sidewalk.

"Heading out, Abs. You need something?" he asked.

"I still can't find Tony, Gibbs! It's so creepy! First, he blows me off all week, and now I can't find him! Something hinky is going on here, I know it is!"

"Abby, he probably went out with the guys this weekend or something. Don't worry about it. Let him enjoy his birthday the way he wants to." He leaned over and kissed his favorite on her temple, and then tossed his stuff in his truck. "See you Monday."

He got into the cab, not waiting for a response, and pulled away, leaving Abby standing bewildered on his front sidewalk. He flipped open his phone at the stop sign, and hit Tony's speed-dial.

"Hey, Boss," he answered as he tried to throw together a bag to take with him, packing a couple of books in with his clothes.

"Abby just came by the house," he said with a smirk.

"Looks like I got outta there in the nick of time!" Tony said with a quiet chuckle.

"Looks like. I'm going to stop by the store and pick up some supplies. Anything particular you in the mood for?"

"Ooo! Can you pick up some Cheetos? The crunchy kind, not the puffy kind." Gibbs shook his head with a silent chuckle.

"I'll see what I can do. Anything else?"

"Do I have time to stop somewhere?"

"Yeah, I'm running a little behind what I thought I would," he said, praying Tony didn't ask why, though figuring he could blame it on Abby if he did.

"Nice! I think I'm about together here. See ya at the Yard."

Gibbs hung up and headed into the small grocer down the road from him. He went back to the meat counter and ordered a couple of steaks for them, putting them into the basket he carried. He searched the store for the things they'd need to stay fed, and found Tony's Cheetos. He wasn't sure what flavor to get him, as there were a few in the "crunchy" variety, so he got the plain and Flamin' Hot, intrigued by the spicy sounding title.

Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into the parking garage at the Navy Yard to find Tony's car in his usual spot. He watched as Tony got out, unfolding his tall frame, and smiling that damned smile that made his stomach flip as he couldn't help but smile himself. He got out, meeting Tony at his trunk to help him toss stuff into the truck, and found out what Tony had stopped to get.

"Think you have enough there?" he asked.

Tony laughed. "Apparently, if you layer them in a shot class, it tastes like birthday cake. Not planning on going through the entire assortment, just a little of each."

"Ahh," Gibbs said. He grabbed Tony's roll and tucked it in with his duffle in a netted off section of the truck bed. Tony came around the other side and put most of his stuff in the back, and then got in. Gibbs watched as he took apart his phone, slipping the battery out, and sliding it into an inside pocket of his backpack. The rest of the phone was snapped back together and put in the same place, and then Tony zipped the bag back up, dropping it at his feet.

"In case our favorite forensic stalker tries to ping me."

Gibbs shook his head with a chuckle and then pulled out of the garage. "Last thing we need is for her to catch us," he muttered. He missed the look Tony gave him out of the corner of his eye, and the arched eyebrow that accompanied it.

They were heading up the highway for about ten minutes when Gibbs heard Tony sigh and saw him sink down in his seat, trying to relax. It was well past sunset, and the world went by in a dark blur around them. There was nothing new about riding along with Tony next to him, but something felt different this time nonetheless. He was used to hearing Tony ramble on and on about this or that, but this time, Tony's presence was quiet and comforting.

Soon, streetlights faded away, and the only thing they could see was the road and curves in front of them. He glanced over at Tony and realized his eyes were closed, and a small smile graced his jaw. Gibbs smiled to himself as he drove, not sure what he was doing, but not really caring anymore.

He'd do the work he had planned at the cabin, let Tony rest, hang out with him around the fire when he made their steaks, and just enjoy whatever he was given. He knew he couldn't expect anything to be returned on Tony's end. Even if there was any reciprocation of what he felt, it would never be to the depths he had come to feel it, and he couldn't settle for anything less.

Then he thought about what Tony had admitted to him earlier; that he wasn't finding fulfillment in the casual anymore. The constant bickering between the angel and devil on his shoulders stopped, and the silent void they left made him swallow hard. He felt lust and love both, and for the first time, there was an actual glimmer of hope that he might have a chance at fulfilling them.

With one final look at the peaceful man next to him, he turned off the main road with a bump. As he predicted, Tony jerked upright and grabbed the dashboard as they were jostled around. The driveway was a lot better than it had been when he bought the land, but the heavy rains that year had washed the gravel in uneven patches. Working on evening it out was one of the things on his to-do list for the weekend.

A few minutes later, and they were parked outside of the cabin.

"That's a lotta wood, Gibbs. You planning for retirement?" Tony smiled at him playfully.

"Not anytime soon, DiNozzo," he said. He shook his head and got out of the truck, stretching. He'd made sure he had plenty of wood for the winter when he cleared a few more trees that fall. He smiled to himself at the tall stacks that he knew could get him through until May if he wanted to hide up here every free weekend.

They both grabbed a load from the back of the truck, and made their way towards the door. Just like at home, the door was unlocked, although, unlike at home, there was at least a lock present if they should choose to do so.

"Hold still," Gibbs said quietly. "Let me get a candle lit so you can see." He dropped the stuff he was carrying down on his bed, and picked up the matchbox. He pulled out a match and the snap and hiss of it striking against the box drew Tony's attention to it before checking out the space.

Gibbs watched Tony take in the changes to the cabin. It was a lot different than the last time he had been there. There was now a small wooden table and a chair. He'd built a wood frame for his bed that fit a twin sized mattress instead of the small fold up bed he had before. He'd come to like the large stumps around the fireplace, and they had stayed, though the bottoms were sanded down to keep from scratching the newly laid and stained floor so badly. Last but not least, there was a small, upright wooden cabinet in the corner for the stuff he needed while he was there.

"Figure we can put your cot right in front of you there," he said. "Come on." Tony sat his stuff on the ground next to the table, then turned and followed Gibbs out to the truck.

Gibbs grabbed the cot and handed it off to Tony, and then added some of the bags he had gotten at the store. He followed with the cooler and a bag in each hand. Tony stepped aside as he came in, giving him room, but not much before he went back out to the truck.

The only thing left in the back was the small army of gallon jugs of water. Gibbs came out to find that Tony had grabbed four of them. He leaned over the truck bed and grabbed another four, and followed Tony in. He took in the view of Tony's backside as they headed into the cabin, and he used his foot to shut the door behind them.

"Gonna store the water in that corner over there," he directed, and Tony sat the jugs down where he was told. Gibbs tried to control his wandering mind before Tony caught him staring at his ass like it was dinner. When Tony turned around on his knees and reached out for the jugs of water, Gibbs swallowed hard as he handed them off.

What was I thinking? How in the hell am I supposed to sleep in the same room as him tonight?

"Want a hand setting up the cot before I bring in some wood for the night?" he asked, desperate to put some space between them.

"I think I can manage. You need help with your wood?" Tony asked as he stood up. "Whoa, that came out wrong!" he said through his laughter.

Gibbs chuckled it off. "No, I got it. Just make yourself at home. There's a few more candles around if you want more light." He escaped outside into the cold air. What the hell was that?! He thought to himself. Seriously? Is this a test of my will? What's wrong with me? Why did I invite him here?

Both the devil and angel on his shoulder whispered, "Because you want him here."

He picked up a log, the faintest bit of light from the window shining right where he needed it to so that he could take the axe to it. He swung, taking his frustration out on the log, satisfied to hear it split and crack apart. That's what he wanted to do to everything right now. Four more logs split, he finally gathered the armload and turned around to head into the cabin. Tony was standing in the doorway, watching him curiously.

"Were you able to get it up?" he asked, meaning the cot but suddenly reading the innuendo into that. He refused to acknowledge it though, glad it was too dark for Tony notice the slight flush he could feel rushing up his neck.

"Yeah. No problem. You okay?" Tony's look grew more concerned.

"Yeah? Why?" he asked, moving past Tony into the house as he dropped the wood it it's crate next to the fireplace.

"Uh, because you were just hacking that wood up like you were taking out your most loathed enemy? And I'm not positive, but at one point, I'm pretty sure you were growling at it. Either that or there's bears in these woods, and if that's the case, I now understand the lock on the door."

Gibbs turned and raised an eyebrow at him. "Have you ever chopped wood? Sometimes growling is required," he tried to joke and then he realized how even that sounded sexual.

"I haven't actually. You just may have to teach me that this weekend. You know, when I start getting cabin fever at let's sayyyyy… noon tomorrow?" Gibbs smiled shaking his head as he got the fire going. "I don't think I will ever get your growl down though. Just… not gonna happen."

Gibbs froze. The tone of Tony's voice was rather flirty. He tilted his head as if he were watching the small flame that was catching between the logs, but his mouth was going dry.

"Think that will do it," he said quietly to himself, and then stood up to move towards the cooler. "Grabbed some steaks. Oh, and these things." He took the Cheetos out of the bag and tossed them over his shoulder at Tony, only he didn't realize Tony was standing so close and hit him in the face with them. Both men chuckled. Gibbs knew that he was turning red, and that the fire in the fireplace was burning brightly enough to give him away.

"Thanks!" Tony said. "I think!"

Gibbs felt Tony's hand clap him on the back, and then it rested there a little longer than usual. Gibbs tried to keep moving, getting the steaks out, but the hand remained on his shoulder, and he could feel the heat radiating from the younger man next to him. Tony leaned forward reaching for something on the table behind the cooler, his body pressing closely against him, and Gibbs took a deep breath despite his best efforts to contain himself. Tony snatched the Flaming Hots, and he held them up.

"You holding out on me, Gibbs? Are you a closet Cheeto lover?" Tony finally moved his hand and smiled brightly at him.

"Don't really know. Never had them before. Wasn't sure what type you liked, or if you liked both of them, so I got both." Gibbs wanted to shake his head and knock the cobwebs loose. Everything being said seemed to have a double meaning. Now he was thinking about whether or not Tony might be interested in trying both, as in both sexes, not just cheese snacks.

"You've never had Cheetos?" Tony asked in disbelief, leaning back against the sturdy little table. "Any Cheetos, or just the Flaming Hots?"

"The hot ones," Gibbs said, feeling like he was suddenly being interrogated when everything about Tony's expression was innocent.

"Never?" Tony asked. "But you love spicy food!" He opened the bag with the shake of his head.

Gibbs had just unwrapped the steaks, rubbing them down with pepper and meat tenderizer. His hands were covered with beefy goodness when Tony held the bag out to him. He glanced down at his hands, and Tony nodded his understanding. Gibbs figured he would drop it, but when he looked up again, Tony was holding a red Cheeto out for him. He stared at the snack for a moment before he realized that if he hesitated much longer, Tony would realize something was going on. So he reached forward, and snatched it between his teeth, drawing it in with his tongue.

He nodded his approval, and looked at Tony, who slipped his fingers into his mouth to suck off the red powder left behind. He noticed that Tony watched him closely for a reaction, though he wasn't sure if it was to the seductive motion he was doing with his fingers, or the taste of the fiery snack. He tried desperately not to watch Tony sucking on his fingers, and turned back to the steaks.

"Do me a favor, will ya? Get in the cabinet over there and get the bucket and soap. I'm going to need to wash my hands after this."

"Sure," Tony said, sitting the Cheetos down and dusting off his hands. "In here?" he asked as he opened the cabinet, bending so his ass was in the air. Gibbs instinctively turned towards his voice and saw him bent over. He wasn't sure how he suppressed the groan that caught in his throat. Tony appeared back at his side, sitting the bucket and soap next to them, and then grabbed one of the jugs of water.

Gibbs left the table and pulled down the grill from the top of the cabinet carefully. He slid it over the flames in the fireplace on its pegs. When he returned to the table, Tony opened the jug of water, then flipped open the lid on the soap. Gibbs held his hands over the bucket with a smirk as Tony first poured some soap onto them, and then a little water, letting Gibbs lather his hands before slowly pouring more water over them so he could rinse. It felt strangely intimate.

"Thanks," Gibbs said, meeting Tony's eyes with a small smile.

"Sure," Tony said with a smile of his own.

Gibbs grabbed the tongs he used when he grilled over the fireplace, and picked up the steaks, taking them the three feet to the grill and dropping them on. The sizzle was satisfying, and he pulled one of the logs closer to the fire so he could flip them without getting up.

Tony rolled out his sleeping bag on the cot, and fluffed the pillow he had wedged in the roll. Gibbs was surprised that Tony even owned a sleeping bag. He thought for sure he'd have brought a comforter or something with him, but apparently, he was wrong. He really wanted to ask, but was afraid of what would come out of his mouth and whether or not it would have a secondary meaning.

He listened to Tony humming quietly to himself as he got his stuff situated. He heard Tony's backpack unzip and something thud on the floor next to the cot that he assumed was Tony's book he'd mentioned.

"I dunno, Boss. Whatcha think? Should I check my phone?"

Gibbs winced at the idea of Abby finding out that he'd lied to her earlier. "Up to you, Tony. You expecting an important call? Something you worried about?"

"Other than Abby pinging me and finding us hiding up here together? No, not really. Kinda like the idea of being unreachable for once." Tony grabbed the Cheetos and sat down on the other stump, half facing Gibbs and half facing the fireplace. Gibbs couldn't keep himself from smiling at Tony held the Flamin' Hots out to him. He reached in and took a couple, popping one into his mouth.

"I can't believe you've never had Flamin' Hots before, Gibbs. You're like, the king of spicy food! I've seen you eat things that dragons would turn down."

"These aren't spicy," Gibbs said with a smirk. "You can still taste them. When you get to the point where you have to feel the heat because you can't taste it anymore, that's when you're starting to get to my level." He reached forward and flipped the steaks, realizing that even that could've sounded sensual if he would have said it a little differently. He knew he was out of his league, playing a game he didn't even know the rules to, and he was about to throw in the towel and give up speaking all together.

"We're a couple of hours early to be trying the birthday cake shot, but I'm thinking a little pregame is in order," Tony said, getting to his feet and rummaging through his stuff again. He brought the bag full of clinking bottles over and sat up against Gibbs' bed on the other side of him, next to the fireplace. Gibbs watched as he took multiple bottles from the bag, followed by two clear double-shot shot glasses.

"The birthday cake shot has vanilla vodka, so I've got some Stoli, and triple sec and pineapple juice. Now, the recipe I've had was a little different. It had hazelnut liqueur in it, and so I got some of that and a can of whipped cream to go with it. I'm not sure exactly how it went though, so we're just gonna have to wing that one."

"You do like your hazelnut," Gibbs said with a smirk, turning the steaks again.

"Why yes, yes I do. Now that I know you've been holding out on me, I'll be expecting it in my coffee."

"Wanna make a bet?" Gibbs said.

Tony laughed. "A bet? Sure. What's the wager?"

"That was rhetorical, Tony." Gibbs got up to get the two stoneware plates from the cabinet he kept in it and a couple of forks. He stopped by the cooler on the table and pulled out the small bottle of steak sauce he had picked up, and then made his way back to the stump to pull the steaks off the grill.

"Hmmm nope. I want my hazelnut. Think about it, and let me know what I have to do to get you to bring me my coffee the way I like it." Tony smirked as he reached into the bag, pulling out one last bottle, exchanging it for the plate Gibbs handed him.

Gibbs took the bottle and read the label. "Old Forrester Birthday Bourbon. Really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at Tony.

"As a thanks for bringing me with you this weekend. Seemed appropriate," he said quietly with such a genuine smile that it took Gibbs everything in him not to lean forward and kiss him to see if the smile tasted as good as it looked.

"Well, thanks," he said instead. He sat his steak down on the ground next to him, and reached his hand out for one of the glasses. He opened the bottle, pouring his double shooter two-thirds of the way full, and then doing the same to Tony's. They clinked their glasses together, and then sipped at it. Gibbs closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth going down his throat and the lack of bite. "That's pretty good."

"Yeah, much better than basement bourbon," Tony said, sipping a little more of his.

Gibbs thought a moment, and then moved to sit on the ground cross-legged, sitting his plate of steak on the stump. Usually he would sit on one and use the other for a table of sorts, but Tony had made no move to get up from his spot on the floor, and he preferred they be on the same level. He leaned back to pull his knife from his pocket, and Tony slipped his out too, as was their tradition. Tony complimented him on the steak, and they ate contentedly for a few minutes before Tony started talking again.

"Have you decided what the wager is yet?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, hoping to fob it off.

"No? Well keep thinking. Like I said, let me know what I gotta do to get you to bring me coffee my way in the morning," Tony smirked, and Gibbs got the overwhelming sense that he was being teased and flirted with again. He told himself he was just reading into it and to let it go, but the bourbon hitting his lips again warned him that he was approaching dangerous territory.

"What are you planning on working on?" Tony asked. "The place has really come together."

Gibbs swallowed his steak. "There's a lot of work to be done on the driveway. The first load of gravel was brought in almost two years ago during the rainiest week of the year. Most of it has settled and caused divots. The rains and more frequent traffic this past fall made it even worse. Gotta try to get those worked over before the next load of gravel comes Sunday morning."

"Ahh, so that's why we're here until Sunday."

Gibbs nodded. "And then that load has to be distributed up and down the drive and spread out."

"So our drive out of here will be a little less… startling… than the drive in," Tony jested.

Gibbs reached forward and gently smacked Tony's shoed foot.

"I think that may be the first ever foot-slap!" Tony joked.

Gibbs rolled his eyes, and sipped some more of his bourbon. It was delicious, but very strong, and he was afraid of what too much of it would allow him to do that he shouldn't even think about trying to do. He smiled despite himself, actually enjoying the company. He had this place so he could get away from the rest of the world, but as he watched Tony eat his steak, he knew that Tony wasn't the rest of the world. He was something altogether different in his life.

He was startled out of his revelry by the sound of his phone in his pocket.

"I swear to god if that's dispatch, the world better be coming an end!" Tony threatened.

"Damn thing doesn't usually work out here." Gibbs saw Abby's name come up on the caller ID and groaned. He held it up so Tony could see, and he groaned too.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Do you just want me to talk to her?"

"No! Damn it! You have a right to a little bit of privacy!" Gibbs flipped open the phone. "I'm at the cabin Abs. What do you need?"

"Gibbs! I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did it, and now I'm really worried, because he's not just not answering his phone, it's like totally off grid! Completely off the radar! And I-"

"Abby! Did you do that thing to track his phone?" he asked sternly.

"Well, yeah, Gibbs! He's really got me worried!" Tony was reaching out as if though he was going to break the phone with a previously unknown supernatural mental ability, and Gibbs held up a finger.

"Abby! STOP." Abby went silent on the other end of the line. "I know where he is. You don't have to worry, but you do need to respect that he's asking for his privacy this weekend. If I find out you've dinged someone else's cell phone without an authorized reason again, we're going to have a nice long talk, and you know I don't do nice long talks."

"Yes," Abby squeaked.

"I'm at the cabin if hell freezes over this weekend, otherwise, I'm turning my phone off." Gibbs snapped his phone shut and pulled the back off, removing the battery. He snapped the back panel back on, and then tossed both pieces onto his bed, shaking his head.

"Whoa," Tony said. Gibbs looked at him, only then realizing how wide-eyed he was. "You just yelled at Abby for me."

Gibbs flung a hand at his bed where the phone lay. "I yelled at her for both of us, and anyone else she's zinging… dinging…"

"Pinging," Tony supplied.

"Thank you! Pinging when she isn't supposed to be."

"You're really upset," Tony said. "I don't think I've ever seen you quite like… this."

Gibbs shook his head. "Guess you're not the only one who needed to get away this weekend." He picked up his bourbon and downed the half-shot's worth left in the glass and reached to refill it.

"And then I crashed it," Tony said looking around nervously like he was about to get up.

"I asked you if you wanted to come along. That's not crashing. Showing up randomly at the door would have been crashing, but… eh… you're different."

"I am?" Tony asked, suddenly looking insecure and unsure. Gibbs tossed back the shot in his hand before tackling the hurdle he knew he was about to have to jump.

"Well, yeah, Tony. How long have we put up with each other now?"

"Thirteen, almost fourteen years?" Tony said. "But you met Abby before me, sooo…"

"Abby is near and dear to me, but we're completely different people. I haven't had to trust her like I trust you, with my life. I know you won't let me down when I really need you. You're always… there, sometimes when you don't even know it, you're there." He took a deep breath. "I guess that's why it makes sense that you're… here." There were so many other things he wanted to say than "here", but he had realized in the past two minutes that he could never do anything to screw up what he already had with Tony. He simply meant too much to him. He reached for the bourbon, unable to look up at the green eyes that he could feel watching his every movement.

When he was finished pouring his shot, Tony took the bottle and refilled his glass too. Gibbs watched the way the liquor swirled in his own glass, and he saw Tony's glass hit the ground empty again, and then heard the lid coming off one of the other bottles. Clear liquor splashed into it, and then it went back and came down empty. At that point, Gibbs looked up to check on Tony.

"You'll be feeling that before you get to your birthday shots at midnight," he warned.

"Maybe I should just make the birthday shots now," Tony said with a nonchalant shrug like it was nothing to suddenly down four shots worth of liquor in two minutes.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked before thinking about it.

Tony smiled that genuine smile at him again, and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Gibbs sipped at his bourbon and sat his plate on the ground next to him. He took Tony's shot glass from him and sat it on the stump with a smirk. "Okay, what goes into this thing first?"

Tony grinned and scooted closer to him, handing him the vanilla vodka. Gibbs put about a third of the glass worth in. He handed it over to Tony who then passed him the triple sec, and he layered that on top. A splash of pineapple juice went in on top of that.

"I don't have to sing to you, do I?" Gibbs asked, handing the glass to Tony, making them both laugh.

"No, please don't. I've heard you hum to yourself, and that's quite alright!" Tony joked.

Gibbs knocked back the rest of his bourbon as Tony held his shot up in the firelight to see the layers. He was definitely starting to feel the easy buzz it created. He put another shot in his glass, only half filling it, and held it up to Tony. "Happy birthday, Tony," he said, and Tony tapped his glass against it. They both knocked their drinks back. Gibbs smiled in disbelief, wondering how Tony could drink so much so quickly without being on his ass. Gibbs was ready to cut himself off, and Tony looked like he hadn't had more than a sip.

"How was it?" he asked.

"Delicious. You should try it."

Tony's hand was suddenly on Gibbs' chest, pulling him forward by his sweatshirt as their lips connected. Gibbs' hands went immediately to Tony's face, holding it in place while he took a moment to understand what was going on. As soon as he did, he opened his mouth for Tony's tongue, and suckled on it as it breached his lips. He could taste the birthday cake shot, and that is what made him pull out of the kiss.

His hands remained on the side of Tony's face and his forehead fell against Tony's as he panted. He was drawn to those lips though, and he leaned forward for another gentle kiss. Tony returned it just as gently, much to Gibbs' relief. He could feel the tenderness behind it, the surety. There was more than drunken abandon there, and he ached to explore it.

They pulled back from each other though, and Tony whispered against his lips.

"Sorry. That wasn't fair."

"It's only not fair if you didn't mean it," Gibbs whispered back, running his hand down Tony's face as he looked into his eyes from a couple inches away.

"Oh, no, I meant it. And in answer to your question, which I know you, so you're asking yourself, yes, I'll mean it when I'm sober and hung over tomorrow, too."

Gibbs swallowed and nodded, closing his eyes a moment before opening them again to look into Tony's.

"And in answer to your other question, which again, I know you, so I know you're asking yourself- you were right earlier. Casual just isn't cutting it anymore." Tony leaned in and took a quick and gentle kiss before backing off an inch and whispering. "Been wanting to do that a long time, but knew it could never be just a one-time thing. Wasn't ready, wasn't sure I'd ever be ready. Couldn't do that to you."

His lips returned and Gibbs couldn't deny them when such incredibly powerful words had just left them. He could almost taste their perfection on Tony's lips. They were sweeter than the liquors he'd just consumed, sweeter than the cake they imitated.

When Tony pulled out of the kiss, a sound escaped Gibbs he would deny until the day he died. He looked into Tony's eyes, watching them shine warmly back at him. He smiled like a fool. "You do know me well. Why tonight, Tony?" he asked.

Tony grinned and shook his head. "It wasn't really planned or anything. You… brought me here with you. This place is your sanctuary, your fortress of solitude, and yet, you brought me with you so that I could have a little of it myself this weekend. You completely tore into Abby just now on my behalf, have been lying to her all day for me, and let's face it, she's your favorite so that's pretty huge! And, well, you've been sticking your foot in your mouth all night, so I kinda, ya know, tested that, and you failed miserably!"

Gibbs laughed and smacked Tony's foot again. "The Cheeto… stuff…" he said, wiggling his fingers and thumbs to indicate Tony's finger suckling routine earlier.

"Yeah, and you were totally checking my ass out when I grabbed the bucket."

"The helping me with my wood comment? Real smooth there," Gibbs said, picking up his bourbon while resting his hand on Tony's calf.

"No! That was a real slip up!" Tony said with a chuckle. Gibbs laughed too, leaning forward into Tony's space.

It suddenly felt so natural being there with Tony like that. It was like they had just jumped a hurdle that they should have jumped years before, and they naturally just fell into place with one another. Tony's hand fell onto Gibbs' on his leg, and Gibbs smiled at him.

"When I was seeing Ziva off at the airport," Tony suddenly said rather seriously, looking down at their hands. "She said that she wanted to be more, she wanted to leave it all behind to learn to be who she really needed to be, for you. It's why she stayed. I get that, I really do. Probably more than anyone else in the entire world, because... you're why I came back. Life wouldn't be the same without you. You made me learn to give as much of a damn about myself as I do about the rest of the world, and you've taught me more about respect and compassion…"

He cleared his throat, and Gibbs watched him try to find the words he needed to get out.

"I, um, always had the physical part of this down." Gibbs felt his heart beating hard in his chest, endeared by the shy look that came over Tony's face as he made his admission. "But somewhere over the past couple of months… it was like everything finally clicked into place."

Tony's eyes suddenly met his and held them firmly, making his heart almost stop, a sudden contrast to just a second before. "Nothing, no one, made that idea go away once it was there. I thought I was crazy! But then I started noticing things, and I tried to tell myself it was my own imagination reading into it, but there were more and more and I couldn't keep denying it to myself anymore.

"How could I have gone out tonight, gotten drunk and hooked up with someone else, someone I don't know, don't really care about, when I… when I need it to be you? When you've managed to become the answer to that question I've spent my whole life afraid to ask, because I never thought I deserved to know? Well, I asked it, and so I couldn't go out tonight. I had no intentions of this…" Tony motioned around the room, indicating their adventure to the woods. "…when I came over tonight. No intentions of telling you all this. Thought I'd come over, have a drink, hide from Abby, wait until it was safe, and head home."

Gibbs chuckled almost silently, and looked down at their hands a moment before looking back up at Tony. "I'm really glad you came over, and I guess I'm even pretty happy Abby's turning into a stalker."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, me too," he said.

"You're right. The signs were always there if you would've looked, but I'm glad you waited. I don't think I could have said no to you, and… I don't think things would have turned out the way I think they're going to turn out now. I know we're going to have to take this one day at a time, and that's the fun of it all, but now that I have you, you're not going anywhere."

Tony beamed at him. "Oh, I really like the sound of that."

"Well that's good, because I don't think I'm giving you the choice," Gibbs said, leaning in to kiss him gently.

When they broke the kiss, Tony made a humming noise, appreciating the moment. "Okay. Enough seriousness. It's almost my birthday! Nowhere else I'd rather be, with the only person I wanna be with. I say, we drink a few more birthday cake shots, and then crash. This week has sucked, tonight night notwithstanding. Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm planning on it being the first day of my incredible new life."

He scooted a little closer to the stump, sitting his shot glass on it, and Gibbs smiled at him. He was glad Tony wanted to wait to go any further that night. He knew they still had a few things to talk about, but Tony was right- they could wait until tomorrow.

Tony poured the vanilla vodka in the bottom of the glass, and added a little bit of the hazelnut. He grabbed the can of whipped cream and shook it up, popping the cap off. A small squirt went on top of the shot, and he looked at Gibbs, who was watching him intently with a hand on his knee.

"Ready?" Tony asked.

Gibbs looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. "Why? You're the one taking the shot, not me!"

"Nope! This one is yours. Gotta make sure it's not horrible before I try it."

Gibbs laughed. He usually wasn't one for the sweeter stuff, but he reached out and took the shot glass, half full with liquor and half with whipped cream. Shaking his head, he brought it to his lips and knocked it back. Before he could even sit the glass down, Tony's arms were around him and he was licking the whipped cream off his lips, their tongues exploring each other's mouths again. Gibbs pulled Tony on top of him as he fell backwards onto the floor. They chuckled into the kiss, both men trying to find the strength to pull away from the other.

"Okay," Tony finally said, getting to his feet only to sit down again on the edge of the bed. "I think I'm done drinking. It's all catching up with me, and pretty soon, any discretion I have that is keeping me from ripping our clothes off will be out the window and lost in the woods."

Gibbs sat up, his elbows resting on his knees with a bright smile, his cheeks burning. He ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I agree. Let me put some more logs on the fire, and we'll bunk down for the night."

Tony nodded, and Gibbs could see the obvious relief on his face.

"Hey," he said softly. "We'll figure it out as we go. I'm not in any rush." He shrugged nonchalantly, and Tony smiled and nodded.

"I'll try to get this stuff picked up," Tony said, reaching forward to pick up the bottles around the edge of the bed. He managed to get them all back into the bag by time Gibbs turned around from tucking a couple more logs into the flames. He grabbed the tongs and got the grill off its pegs in the fireplace, hanging it from the cooling hook he had sticking out of the stone, then hung the tongs from it as well. When he turned around, he found Tony laying on his back on his bed, his feet still on the floor.

"Ya know, Gibbs, I don't remember your cabin spinning this much last time I was here."

Gibbs blew out the candle on the mantle and came over to sit next to Tony on the bed.

"It's all catching up with you now, isn't it?"

"Yup," Tony said, looking over at him. "About five shots in an hour can do that to a guy."

"It was more like six, and the bourbon is something like 95 proof. Don't even wanna think about the Stoli." He chuckled and laid down next to Tony. He propped his head up on one hand, and rested the other on Tony's chest almost tentatively. He watched Tony's eyes trail up his arm and meet his, and they locked with shy smiles. "You wanna sleep over here with me?" he asked, knowing the question was on both of their minds.

"Was kinda planning on it. Only thing I think I'm capable of moving right now is my feet, and that's to kick my shoes off," Tony admitted.

"Sounds about right. I'm going to grab your sleeping bag though. Between the two of us, I don't know if the blankets I have will cut it." He grabbed the sleeping bag off of Tony's cot and unzipped it to make it more of a blanket, and then snagged his pillow. By time he got back to his bed, Tony had kicked his shoes off and was inching his way up towards the corner, his back against the wall. Gibbs threw the sleeping bag over him comforter style, and then switched the pillows so he had his. He laid down in bed, pulled his blankets and Tony's comforter over him as well, and laid against the pillow, looking Tony in the eyes.

He loved the smile on his face, and loved even more that he had something to do with putting it there. He leaned in slowly, sliding his hand around Tony's waist, and let his lips brush against that smile. He felt tingles running down his spine as he slowly kissed him. It wasn't a kiss meant to take them beyond the moment they were in. No, it was a kiss to make them revel in the moment they were in, to relish it and get lost in it. It was a kiss to turn their souls inside out for each other, to leave each other completely naked and vulnerable to one another. When it came to a natural close, Gibbs pulled Tony against him. The younger man nuzzled his head sleepily and drunkenly into his chest, and Gibbs rested his chin on top of his head.

As they laid there together, Gibbs whispered, "Happy birthday, Tony."

"Best birthday ever," Tony said back, half awake.

When Gibbs was positive Tony was asleep, when the snoring made him smile to himself, he finally let himself start to doze off. Before he slipped under, he silently mouthed the words, "I love you, Tony."

The snoring suddenly stopped, and Tony nuzzled against him and said, "Love you, too, Jethro."