Dear diary,
The sun is setting in Konoha...it is sinking into the calm, blue river, only as each second ticks by, the river becomes more red than blue, and the blue sky turns into layers of purplish pinkish red.
Cool, crisp wind swirls around me, whipping my midnight blue hair behind me, as I gaze at this mesmerising sight before me. No sight can be better than a sunset while standing on the Konoha bridge. Well, maybe the sunrise...the sunrise is the start of a brand new day, a fresh beginning, while the sunset is a reminder of the days slipping by, the sands of time flowing constantly...
And every sunset is another end to the present, just as every sunrise is another step towards the future...
To me, that future is floral as long as I can remember, I have played with flowers, arranging their soft petals to compliment each other in bouquets, twisting and turning springy branches around each other, pruning and cutting bushes to form shapes, bringing the garden to life. I know, it may seem too idealistic, but diary, that's what I want to do, who I want to be. And no one can change that; I know I might have crushed my parents dream of seeing me in a white lab coat of a doctor, but it's my life. They've accepted this, but they...they want the best for me and that's why they want me to go to FlowerSchool New York...New York...
I want to stay here, in Konoha...not in New York...
Because then...I won't be able to be with my best friend, Sakura. We had planned to do everything together; medical school, training, exams...everything.
Even when I decided not to be a doctor, I had thought that we would be in the same town, so we would still be best friends, but I might be going to New York...
I sometimes wonder if we are still best friends though...I mean she has started hanging around Ino's group a lot, and she and Ino are getting closer everyday. I don't hate-I'm not jealous...I don't hate Ino, it's Sakura's choice who she wants to be friends with and I know no matter what, we will still be friends, we will still love each other, stand behind each other and understand each other...
It has to be like that diary, it has to be...
Because...because diary, I don't know what I will do without her...if she prefers them over me, and I'm left alone...I'm so scared diary, of being alone, of having no one...that thought terrifies me, but more than that I'm terrified over the mere idea of losing the one friend, who knows all my secrets, who understands all my twisted thoughts and still loves me,...I don't think I'll ever be able to get over her...
I haven't told her about FlowerSchool New York, that I wanna go there...I should, shouldn't i? I'm the one who's leaving, and I guess I had better tell her...
10 minutes later
I feel like I'm about to explode, all these emotions inside me, they are like some sort if tornado inside, wrecking and destroying anything, everything inside me...
I talked to her, to Sakura and she, she said...I'll write the whole text conversation...
ME: Sakura? :(
SAKURA: yes? :)
ME: My parents want me to go to FlowerSchool New York...
SAKURA: u r going to FlowerSchool New York?
ME: I dunno...
SAKURA: do u wanna go there?
ME: I dunno...
SAKURA: after Konoha...I'll go to Massachusetts,
And you to New York...
ME: Sakura, I don't want to go...I want to stay here, I want us both to stay here...I want you to be there when I graduate, and when I get admission to the University here...I want u to be here when I get my first job, I want you to be there with me, every big moment in my life...I don't wasn't to go Sakura...
SAKURA: Hinataaaa? This made me smile...!
To be honest, I want the same.! I want you to be there when I do my first operation, praying for my success! And I want to be there to scribble on your sketches and ruin your design! :(
But noo..we are going to have to sacrifice our friendship sometime...maybe we can be together for a couple of years... But then I have to go...you have to go...
ME; so I make you smile, and you make me cry? Nice trade...
SAKURA: I'm sorry...
ME: I have to go Sakura...bye.
...
That's our conversation...
I don't know what to say or do...all I know is I'm breaking down...these stupid tears refuse to leave me alone and my eyes hurt...
Diary...is that what our friendship is? To her? I mean, it's like she has accepted that we, us in going to etnd...what am I supposed to make of that? That something that means the world to me...it's just ... Almost like nothing to her.?! How the hell am I supposed to feel about it! I'm not gonna show it to anyone...how much this is tearing me, shredding me to pieces...I literally feel like my hearts being crushed...like some hands are gripping it so tight,,,god so tight...our friendship...this had gotten me out of dark places, I always know where to go when I'm sad, and suddenly...how am I supposed to ever gonna feel that way again? If I know that this is gonna end, I'll just be fooling myself if I say it'll be alright, cuz it won't be, it can't be...not now, not after this...
I was gonna tell her, I mean you know that I'm leaving but I didn't think she would...
She's moving to Massachusetts...I know she wanted to go to Harvard, but I didn't pay much attention to it...
God, I can't even think straight...
And these stupid droplets are ruining your pages...wait these droplets are my tears...
