This was written by my sister Pookie, with no help from me, save the opening sentence. And even Tweak says itÕs better than anything IÕve ever done. :(
The Real Reason For..
The All You Can Eat Food Buffets In The Shire
By Pookie
There were 13 of them in the beginning. Though Frodo was out of the picture quite soon, those who were left still thought they could go on.
It all started when Pippin and Frodo got in fight over how much food they could eat in ten minutes.
It wasn't even a fair competition, then nobody quite knows what happened, some say he just got full.
Others believe in the un-law of gravity ("what goes down must come up" never scientifically proven mind you but has managed to have quite a few victims) and still yet others believe it was the liverwurst head cheese sandwich with pickles and a side of olives he was eating, either way Pippin fell behind. Soon there grew a crowd of hobbits, it was clear that the crowd was on Frodo's side. Main course came and went, dessert was harder, the rules (which were made up on the spot mind you) clearly stated that they where to both consume one hole pie and two pieces of german chocolate cake, double frosting, drenched with Carmel with dark chocolate heavily drizzled on it,
no one made it to the end.
Soon the word got out, more and more people came, some even participating making it the biggest thing since golf. Soon it was discovered sometimes it was safer to be in the game than watching it.
The Green Dragon became head quarters for the eating buffet, it had never had so many people in it before. It soon became apart that neglecting the rotting floor boards was not the best thing to do at that time, no one was hurt and it gave them much more room to throw the losers around with out hitting the ceiling, thus less complaints from the losers about whiplash and brain damage.
Then the happy carefree game came to an abrupt halt.
It was a full house that day,
13 participants all together Frodo, Merry, Sam, Sam's Gaffer, Pippin and a few other random hobbits along with a new guy, ÒThomasÓ who boasted that he could eat all night. So the game began Sam, his Gaffer and Frodo where out by the salad then Merry was out by first course, the other few didn't make it to dessert. Pippin was doing good but Thomas was doing better, the dessert was a tie.
They had to do the thing over again, and again and again and again and again (you get the picture).
It was morning before the game was over Thomas had won by a very small margin but poor Pippin was scarred for life, never recovering thus resulting in an abnormal food attraction(?) but the buffet never got back on its feet and they got kicked out of the Green Dragon for eating 25 pies 45 pieces of cake not to mention the 21 pounds of meat and the 32 pounds of frosting and chocolate in less than 12 hours the news of the food spread faster than the game itself they could never find another place to host them. but in his retirement years Sam's Gaffer founded the "All you can eat food buffets" making himself famous
Pippin tried to copyright his Shire famous "un-law of gravity" but never succeeded years latter a guy named Sir Isaac Newton changed it around copy righted it and Pippin unsuccessfully tried the "what do you have in my pocket" for the rights to it loosing over dental floss pippin did on the other hand become the first lawyer but then got dismissed from the duty from eating in court.
He then found he's niche in history by inventing the "Food Court".
Well? Hilarious? Tell us what you think, please. :) We very much appreciate your feedback.
The Real Reason For..
The All You Can Eat Food Buffets In The Shire
By Pookie
There were 13 of them in the beginning. Though Frodo was out of the picture quite soon, those who were left still thought they could go on.
It all started when Pippin and Frodo got in fight over how much food they could eat in ten minutes.
It wasn't even a fair competition, then nobody quite knows what happened, some say he just got full.
Others believe in the un-law of gravity ("what goes down must come up" never scientifically proven mind you but has managed to have quite a few victims) and still yet others believe it was the liverwurst head cheese sandwich with pickles and a side of olives he was eating, either way Pippin fell behind. Soon there grew a crowd of hobbits, it was clear that the crowd was on Frodo's side. Main course came and went, dessert was harder, the rules (which were made up on the spot mind you) clearly stated that they where to both consume one hole pie and two pieces of german chocolate cake, double frosting, drenched with Carmel with dark chocolate heavily drizzled on it,
no one made it to the end.
Soon the word got out, more and more people came, some even participating making it the biggest thing since golf. Soon it was discovered sometimes it was safer to be in the game than watching it.
The Green Dragon became head quarters for the eating buffet, it had never had so many people in it before. It soon became apart that neglecting the rotting floor boards was not the best thing to do at that time, no one was hurt and it gave them much more room to throw the losers around with out hitting the ceiling, thus less complaints from the losers about whiplash and brain damage.
Then the happy carefree game came to an abrupt halt.
It was a full house that day,
13 participants all together Frodo, Merry, Sam, Sam's Gaffer, Pippin and a few other random hobbits along with a new guy, ÒThomasÓ who boasted that he could eat all night. So the game began Sam, his Gaffer and Frodo where out by the salad then Merry was out by first course, the other few didn't make it to dessert. Pippin was doing good but Thomas was doing better, the dessert was a tie.
They had to do the thing over again, and again and again and again and again (you get the picture).
It was morning before the game was over Thomas had won by a very small margin but poor Pippin was scarred for life, never recovering thus resulting in an abnormal food attraction(?) but the buffet never got back on its feet and they got kicked out of the Green Dragon for eating 25 pies 45 pieces of cake not to mention the 21 pounds of meat and the 32 pounds of frosting and chocolate in less than 12 hours the news of the food spread faster than the game itself they could never find another place to host them. but in his retirement years Sam's Gaffer founded the "All you can eat food buffets" making himself famous
Pippin tried to copyright his Shire famous "un-law of gravity" but never succeeded years latter a guy named Sir Isaac Newton changed it around copy righted it and Pippin unsuccessfully tried the "what do you have in my pocket" for the rights to it loosing over dental floss pippin did on the other hand become the first lawyer but then got dismissed from the duty from eating in court.
He then found he's niche in history by inventing the "Food Court".
Well? Hilarious? Tell us what you think, please. :) We very much appreciate your feedback.
