Kaiba-kun must be dissed-th Again!

Okay…since I just watched all of Yu-Gi-Oh! In its Japanese uncut form, I felt like writing! Again! As last time:

Disclaimer--- n. a statement to avert affiliation with anything; random words to save one's sorry ass.

Disclaimer: SHOULD YOU HAVE ANY AFFECTION FOR SETO KAIBA AND MOKUBA KAIBA, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING THIS PARTICULAR FAN FICTION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! THIS ALSO CONTAINS SPOILERS. Act I is not too bad, but it'll get worse…MUCH worse!

Light Summary: It's just one of those days we decide to pick on Kaiba; it's like on that one Track on Trigun the 2nd Donut in which everyone makes fun of Wolfwood for no apparent reason. I'm the Devil Lucifer's Helper here! It's my job to stir things up a bit! All flames will be posted and ridiculed on my personal site…so try using your brains to insult me fans, cuss words are pointless.

Act I : The "M" Word

Okay? We clear? Good! Yami? You ready?

~Yami~

Aren't I always? All I do is sleep, duel, and run around the labyrinth that is my head.

~Me~

Oh yeah… Oh yeah! Play format as usual!

Scene 1: Don't use the "M" word…

~Yugi~

Erg…Yami?

~Yami~

What?

~Yugi~

Y'know how Kaiba is the reincarnation of the priest who wanted to take over the world?

~Yami~

How can I not know? I just re-kicked his ass in my happy mind room.

*Yugi ignores that part*

~Yugi~

Then why is it that his dad is the one who wanted to take of the world?

~Yami~

I dunno…

*Pulls notes from back pocket.*

*flips through his map of his demented labyrinth mind*

~Yami~

He isn't reincarnated. I don't even believe in reincarnation. Afterlife all the way!

*slams head on imaginary object (he's see-through remember?)*

~Yami~

I could've been sitting in Duat with servant after servant doing whatever I want! I'm a virtuous person!

~Yugi, sarcastic~

Yeah….Very virtuous!

~Yami~

I only killed uh…one…two…three

*trails off counting*

~Yami~

That's not the point! I saved the world and that sure is a helluva lot better than taking' over the world!

*nods head*

~Yami~

Though that'd be a lotta servants….

~Yugi~

You're so hard to talk to! You have tunnel vision!

~Yami~

ME?! Tunnel vision! Have you seen that family who's tried to kill you at least five times?!

*referring to Kaiba let's see, the Kaiba family Yugi killing attempts:

Seto--

Death-T Level 1, Death-T Level 2, Death-T Level 3, Death-T Level 4, Death-T Level 5

Mokuba--

Russian Roulette Poison Style, Capsule Monsters (okay, it was only to chop off a hand…)

Noah--

Virtual World*

~Yugi~

Okay….

~Yami~

Tch. I only kill to defend you! Revenge isn't worth my time!

*snickers*

~Yami, quietly~

It's worth yours!

*Yugi goes out for the day, he has a date with Tea*

~Tea~

Hello Yugi! Are you gonna win the big stuffed bear today?

~Yugi~

Yup! Only 100000000000000000000000000000 tickets to go in this extortionist arcade!

~Yami~

Lemme play!

~Yugi~

Shut up! I wanna impress her for once you spotlight stealer!

~Yami~

Awww…

~The game Yugi is playing~

Hey! You're not getting any tickets outta me!

~Yugi~

Say what?

~Game that is Noa?!~

No tickets!

~Yugi~

WAAH!

~Yami~

Get a grip!

~Yugi~

Didn't we kill him? Or he kill himself or something?!

~Game that is Noa~

MERWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know this is the only ticket giving game you're good at!

~Yami~

I'll show you, technological piece of crap!

*Yami mind crushes the game*

~Worker~

You're going to have to pay got that Mr. Muto!

~Yugi~

Thanks a lot!

~Yami~

But he's supposed to be dead!

~Game that is Noa~

PH33/ MY L33T POW3/S! I M4D3 2487250734752304672321523478523045 Z/P D/SKS OF MYS3LF! BUW4HH4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!

~Yami~

Make it go away! Make it go away!

~Kaiba~

That's a new level of stupidity for you, Yugi!

~Yami~

Magic and technology don't mix! But I do know how to broadcast shadow powers! ((Remember when Yami blew up Pegasus's wine glass?))

~Kaiba~

Magic?! Magic doesn't exist! It's all B.S.!

~Yami~

Are you crazy?! Did we mind crush you one too many times?!

*knocks Kaiba on the head*

~Kaiba~

Mind crushes don't exist! Magic doesn't exist! Fate is stupid! You're crazy!

~Yami~

I'M crazy?!

~Yugi~

He's gotta point there, you made a pretty bad pharaoh.

~Yami~

All kings are named the exactly same thing! I told you, you were reading the wrong biography! At least I didn't do it with my sister! *looking at Kaiba* or my brother…

~Kaiba~

What does that mean?!

~Yami~

C'mon! I know you and Mokuba do it! ((Mokuba's voice actor, Tara Jane (a woman!), also does Sara on Angel Sanctuary, so naturally, I started scream strangely and here's the result!^_^))

~Kaiba~

You're crazy! This is going too far!

~Yami~

It's not like I try to kill you.

~Kaiba~

~Yami~

C'mon! All I do is vengeance, you start every fight because you have social and mental issues!

~Kaiba~

I do not!

~Yami~

You keep saying magic doesn't exist!

~Kaiba~

Because it doesn't!

~Yami~

Yes it does!

*mind crushes Kaiba*

&a few months later&

~Kaiba~

How'd I black out?

~Mokuba~

Yugi mind crushed you…again…

~Kaiba~

Not you too! Magic doesn't exist!

~Mokuba~

Of course magic exists!

~Kaiba~

You're insane!

~Mokuba~

I'm insane?!

End Act I