YESTERDAY'S MEMORIES

Chapter One: Hopeless

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Author's Notes: I actually started writing this fanfic about a month and a half ago and I already have three chapters written out. I almost always write my chapters out on paper first ,so future chapters may take longer to update. And also, as I read some Panfics lately, I've noticed that mine has had a lot of similarities with a lot of them, but I hope it won't end up being the exact same. If I find that it does, I'll take mine down without question.

And for those who haven't read my first Panfic (His Void), please check out my bio and scroll down for it. I'd like to get as much feedback as I can because I'm planning to revise it soon and it'd be get if I could get more comments or suggestions.

Anyway, here's the first chapter. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do, I do, I do... nope.

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With each passing day

I sink into despair

Her window was open.

But then of course, her window had always been opened, even in the coldest and darkest nights of Winter. The answer to why was quite simple, and it all laid upon one young boy named Peter Pan. Even after promising her years ago that he would come back to visit her, he never did. Idly, it broke her heart, but she never gave up. Night after night, she still kept her window open for him, and for him alone, in hope that he would still come back to her one day.

And though she believed that he never came back, he had. He watched her on many nights when she was unaware and sleeping restlessly. He would linger near her window and watch as she tossed and turned in her sleep. For the first few months, everything seemed to be fine. A smile would always be upon her face every night as she dreamed of him. He knew she did because she had always called out his name in her sleep. But after a while, her blissful dreams seemed to diminish away.

The smile that once graced her comely face had now been replaced with a frown; and her call out to him became less and less faithful every time. It pained him to hear her say his name so indifferently.

These past years, he noticed, ever since coming back from Neverland, she had never been the same—with the exception of the first few months. Her radiance slowly died away with each passing day. For the first few months, she had been excessively happy—telling stories to the boys every single night with so much more passion than she had before—and then after that, she would make herself comfortable next to her window, waiting for him in anticipation. But that also slowed in due time, and it all eventually came to an end, much to his disappointment.

It was then that he noticed something was missing from her; and that was her happiness, her trust. Her eyes no longer held that special spark in them; instead, they were now dull and pained. Seeing her true smile were very rare nowadays, and had been for the past year. Either a frown or the lovely fake smile her parents loved to see so much replaced her true features. Even her voice was rather toneless. It seemed as if she had lost all hope of everything.

And he had to wonder to himself, why did she change? What caused her to do so? And why so drastically? He had watched all of this happen every night over the years and it was amazing to see how much a person, especially someone like Wendy, could change so much. She had blossomed from a playful, sweet little girl into a strikingly beautiful young woman.

It hadn't taken him long to finally realize that she was growing up. What he didn't get though was why. Why did she want to grow up if it made her so miserable like this? It just didn't make any sense. There was no point, no fun, so then why?

A soft moan coming from the inside of her room snapped him out of his thoughts. An aching feeling filled deep within the pit of his stomach and he quickly flew in next to her.

For a while, he just stared at her, long and hard. After taking in her sight, he slowly reached out to touch her cheek, but he was hesitant.

"Peter," she moaned again as she turned her head to the other side. He immediately pulled his hand away and froze.

"Wendy," he half whispered, half sighed as she settled back into a peaceful slumber, "Wake up." He gripped her shoulders lightly and began to shake her. "Wendy."

Very slowly, but surely, her eyes began to flutter open. She blinked a few times, trying to sharpen her vision. What Peter saw was not what he had expected; though sadly, he already knew. A pair of lifeless eyes bore into his own. In truth, he had been expecting something more. Anything at this point would've done for him—happiness, despair, anger—anything, but there was nothing.

"Peter Pan," Wendy said flatly as she sat up in bed, "It's really nice to see you... again."

Peter pulled away from her, sighing in guilt. "I..."

She stared at him brokenly. "When will you truly come back to me? You said you'd come. You promised. Why haven't you kept your word?"

He stared back at her sternly. "What am I doing now? I'm here, aren't I?"

Wendy shook her head as she stepped out of her bed. Peter stood in front of her. "Dreams... they do not count, Peter," she said, "I have dreamt of you countless nights, but this is the dream that still haunts me the most; when you come back to me while I'm asleep... like the first night we met. I've had this dream so many times that I'm even able to predict it now. That's how sad I have gotten, Peter. I'm so restless and tired..."

He continued to stare at her and though his mouth moved to speak, nothing came out. Honestly, he didn't know what to say. He thought that she would've been tearing up by now, happy to see him, but it was the exact opposite. No tears were evident in her eyes—nothing was—and the visit only seemed to pain the both of them.

"I've grown so tired. So tired of it all. My mind won't allow me to forget all of this that has been tormenting me; it won't let me forget you. I've waited for nearly four and a half years for you, Peter, and I cannot wait any longer."

Peter felt a jolt of pain hit his gut. Unable to control himself, he grabbed her shoulders once more and shook her violently. "No! Wendy! You mustn't forget! This isn't a dream! This is real! I'm really here, Wendy. I'm really, really here. Here for you. Don't give up. Please."

She did nothing to stop him from shaking her, only turn away from him to stare at the ground. "I don't want to give up either," she said quietly, "But I've been waiting for too long. Even Mother today told me to grow up. You hear that, Peter? Grow up!" She paused to look back up at him. "You're in my head, you're in my dreams, you're all I ever see and think about! I have to let go of my foolish fantasies and move on."

"Wendy..." he trailed off and shook his head, refusing to believe what he was hearing. This was impossible.

She tore away from him and sat back down on her bed. "It's no use arguing, Peter. I will wake soon, and when I do, it'll be the same thing all over again. It's always the same thing everyday, every night." She tilted her head slightly to the side to look at him from a different angle. "Although," she began, standing back up again, "There is one thing out of place. Have you grown, Peter? I do not recall you ever being this tall."

He scowled.

"It's true," Wendy said in wonder, "Have you not noticed? ...Oh." Her head dropped. "You wouldn't, would you? You're just a dream. You wouldn't know or care about such a thing... only the real thing would."

His anger was beginning to surface, but he was still able to remain calm. "You seem convinced that you are dreaming right now, so I shall let you continue on," he spat at her, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Wendy watched as he turned away from her. For a moment, she just stared at him dully, her eyes focused on his new form. A feeling of regret washed over her when he flew out of the window and into the night, leaving her once again alone in her dark room.

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Author's Notes: I hope it turned out okay... go ahead, ask me questions, give me comments or suggestions, or if you hate it, please tell me personally by e-mailing me. I appreciate all feedback. :)